₦airaland Forum

Remijuice:
If this all you have to say, then he's correct!
After been played you settle for the pussy nice close friend...

What does "pussy nice" even mean?

Being played by who? What are you talking about, man?

I am tired of these kind of presumptuous attitude. Does everyone on Nairaland have this kind of thinking pattern? Please expand your mind.

marwanafrica:
SIR, i Iike the way you play with english language interm of expression, you are so good at it, i wish to be like you interm of written and speaking of english

Hmmm I don't know if you are mocking me or you actually meant what you said.

Foodforthought:
About the parents, I'm sorry.
I'm talking about a situation where there's trouble between a wife and a mother In-law. It's never easy for a man to take sides. Quite frankly he shouldn't really unless he has no choice.
But on no account should a woman, no matter the grievance, trade insults with or confront her husband's mother. It doesn't speak well of you as a wife. Let the husband handle it. If you feel he's not handling it well, let him know your stand. A wife has a way to her husband's heart and can reach areas a mother won't. I have seen women who used their husband to subdue a troublesome mother In-law....without fighting. Don't confront or insulting his parents, same goes for a husband as well.

Spoken with wisdom.

I don't think any woman should hurl insults at her MIL. She should let her husband handle it. It even puts the husband in a difficult position.

I had an issue with my MIL when she came around. She did something that brought tears to my eyes. I was really pained. My husband wanted to confront her about it because he saw that she was wrong. But I told him to let it go.

If MILs could treat their DILs as their daughters and not try to compete, marriages would be better. And the DIL too has to be accomodating.

Lies and deceit is not a good preamble to a marriage. Why other lies will he discover later and after the get married.

Everyone will get their own husband and wife no matter the age. No need to lie.

Nothing extraordinary here.

I married him

Offpoint1:
That's why your wife should always remain in Nigeria, the lack respect once they left the shore.

That is why the guy should just marry his mother and let everybody rest.

gabbytabby:
Ladies it's never okay to get into a war of words with your mother or mother in law just walk away or your silence is golden.

Nigerian mother's and mother in law's can be over bearing. They are meant to be guest in your home but want to come in and run it. They want to dictate what you eat, discourage your husband from helping, what your standard of housekeeping should be sometimes even without lifting a finger to help despite knowing how rushed off your feet you are.

Some say they are coming for omugo but only add to your stress. We really need to be honest with ourselves for peaceful coexistence. Otherwise the she who can never do wrong might have to stay in her palace.

Owo lafin wewo. Life is give and take.

You are so right. A wife and MIL should learn to live in peace for the sake of the man they love. The mother in-law should realize that it is not her house and is only a guest there. The DIL should accommodate her knowing that she is not staying forever.

The problem would be with the MILs that try to create issues between the couple... giving the wife problems and pretending when her son is around.

My cousin's MIL did something like that. She would go to her son and tell him something and go to her DIL and tell her another thing. When they confronted her, she was mute.

There is no competition. Wife and mother are different roles. A pastor once said that it is a woman that doesn't have a good relationship with her husband that will keep disturbing her son and his wife in their house.

maasoap:
Thank you. Parents and teachers (formal and informal trainers) in Africa need to evolve in punishing children, era wickedness in the name of correction has gone. The highest punishment I give my children these days is kneeling down and closing the eyes.
But now, I will adopt your method of house chores too. Sending them on errands these days is risky, too many child kidnappers, Traffickers and ritualists on the prowl.

Not necessarily outside the house. Just flimsy and annoying errands in the house

Foodforthought:
Would you put your husband above your own mother?

The fact that I leave my parents to stay with him and become his wife already means I have done that. I take care of him more than I do my parents. Though they are late now.

Marriage is bigger than just putting a woman in your house. It is the joining of two hearts. You have become one and are now each other's first concern and responsibility

And they put "Bed18". More like Bonk18

Foodforthought:
May there never come a day I put my wife above my mother. I don't even want to know what happened, but one of those 2 women gave birth to the man in question.

The day is supposed to come o. My husband's father put his wife(my husband's mother) above everyone as his wife. What do you expect my husband to do in his case after learning from his parents?? Put me above his mother too..lol

Israeljones:
So giving students assignment is wrong...because thats all i can deduce from ur earlier post....that comment is what i find very silly though

You are not even reading to understand but to attack.

Giving too much assignments is the issue. There is a standard but many teachers flout it and pile pleeenty assignments... some that should have been done in the class.

formular2002:
Its because she was flogged on her legs. I tell u, its nothing compared to what many of us passed through in school.

That teacher would never take this from her child's teacher.

I remember one parent taking a cane and flogging a teacher for brutality on her child...lol.

Teachers should try to tone it down so that it doesn't seem like they trying to pour out their frustrations on a child in the name of discipline

Israeljones:
As funny as this may sound...it doesnt reduce the fact that it is careless and silly

Careless and silly...maybe. But it has been done and the involved teacher was called to order especially as it wasn't what the school subscribed to.

Sometimes people do careless and silly things that end up getting results.

Tiffbuxas:
Ive seen assignment situations like these too back then...most parents re lazy and leave all d child's school work to the teachers... If dem no give assignment parents will still complain. And most of those assignments are compulsory by the laid down authorities so the teachers have lil control. Plus if your pikin no dey do assignment e go dey pile up. Teacher dey try abeg. Buh d trashing on the legs is too much

Parents don't want to come back everyday in the night to start doing assignments for up to an hour EVERYDAY. That is unfair.

That is not the standard if we research and ask around. Homework is not supposed that voluminous

calddon:
I get your point but personally i received far worse in school for far less offences but it shaped me.

Especially my encounters with my then RSM, I learnt how to follow instructions carefully and not get caught when otherwise

Not to justify any cruel treatment though.

For me, it made me hard and I learnt how to "dust" cane especially at home. I would go ahead and be naughty knowing that it is only cane I would receive. My eldest sister would flog me with Dunlop slippers and I wouldn't even flinch.

I still believe in other ways of punishments like wasting the child's time with plenty house chores and errands. The beating should be minimal.

calddon:
i didn't justify the teachers actions. Go through my comments again ma'am.

But this kind of beating should not be the consequences for being lazy and stubborn especially from someone that didn't bring the child into the world

For you to doubt that the boy is yours already means your wife made you lose trust in her.

It is except you do the DNA or live with this burden of uncertainty for the rest of your life. Pick one

linecrosser:
In As much as I don't support the way the student was flogged, the best thing for the parent to do is to go to the school and find out what the student actually did. What if the girl is lying and the reason she was flogged is different from the one she told her parents at home.
Most schools have cancelled the use of cane now, so the level of indiscipline is high, at the end they will blame the teachers for everything. God will help teachers

Find out what the student did? Just like if a husband beats his wife black and blue, they should ask what she did so that the beating can be justified?

This kind of beating is wrong in any case. There are many other effective punishments for children, not this. That teacher cannot take it also if a teacher beats their own children.

calddon:
Is the child a stubborn or lazy? If this is true, then it may seem wise not to rebuke the teachers actions in front of the child so that he or she understands that there are consequences for being lazy or stubborn.

The teacher could met privately and your grievance made known to him or her.

I believe that there is no learning without discipline. But it should be discipline to the proper degree especially to correspond with the childs age and wrong

No mind me, na Command school i go.

I went to command too... boarding for that matter. It still doesn't warrant this kind of beating. Parents whether "bloody" civilians or officers would still come and create a scene and complain.

What if the child passes out in the process and dies, the teacher will say it was discipline.

bibiking7:



Have you talked to the teacher?
Why not start from there. Let's hear what she has to say.

Whatever the teacher had to say, she should have said it before brutalising the child. There is no justification for it

sparog:
Being thinking about this too, the assignment are just too much. I won't mind if it's assignment for weekends but why give a child so many assignments daily.

Because the teachers are trying to reduce their workload by shifting responsibility. If I am going to be occupied with plenty homework that my child brings home, I will approach the principal and demand a salary since I am doing the teacher's work.

The university degree is a good idea and something that will keep him busy and challenge his mind. It would also make him mix up with a new crowd especially the part time program where you have more mature students.

Also, the vacation will do him good to see the world outside where he is which will expand his thinking.

You should also get him a laptop and let him join Facebook and connect with friends. And if possible, he can also learn a sport like tennis if it is accessible around.

delugajackson:
At what point do you intend to marry her? Is it when you must have drained her of all the vital contents in her body? I'm only feeling sorry for the unfortunate guy that will inherit her from you. It's your type that turns women to scrap as a result of excessive knacking. No futuristic plan, no prospects, just knacking! You be carpenter? If the engine no knock or the top gasket no burn, you no go dey alright.

Even if she gives you sex everyday, it still won't put your focus on marriage. You need to set her free at this point for someone serious. You're not ready, so stop wasting her time. I see no need holding her back from her decision. Loose her and let her go.

You really said some hard truths especially from a girl's perspective. He might not be ready to marry in the next four years and he will keep having sex with her till then. What if he meets someone else... probably a virgin and dumps her? Reminds me of one Port Harcourt story.

I don't believe she is outrightly wrong. Women don't have the luxury of time like men. A 70year old man can still impregnate a woman. And sometimes we all need to be selfish. I was selfish and it worked out for me

Onepointfiveodds:
Nah, i might be broke and might have bn stupid at some point but the relationship is the exact opposite of what yu portray here

Relationship is meant to be about love. When you love, you give. You are earning a salary and you cannot say that you have not had 5k in one year to buy her something.

Even when I was out of work, I would still buy a gift for hubby no matter how little. It shows that you are thinking about the person.

And have you guys discussed the future? Or you just living each day as it comes. Women like to know what plans you have so that she doesn't waste her best years with no direction only to be dropped later.

The chances she has with you or the other guy are not 100%. She might stay with you and you meet another person that you like and start forming ghost mode. C'est la vie.

[quote author=Samakus post=76352935][/quote]Love knows no bounds. So why didn't the love you had for her cover her excesses. And off course we know it had not developed into love yet.

If she didn't have money, she should have stayed in her house. Going out is not compulsory. But what were expecting from an IT student when you invited her on a date? That she will have the cash to take uber?

And besides, is it wrong for a guy to offer to arrange her transportation if he invites a lady on a date especially when he knows she might have difficulty getting there?

For me, then, when when a guy invites me out, he would come pick me up or ask me to take a cab and he would pay. I can as well stay put in my house instead of entering sun and jumping bus for date. That was when I wasn't working to be able to afford proper transportation.

It's just that now we have too many guys that dont know how to treat a lady or that feel every girl wants to chop their money even if they don't have the money.

As for the subscription part, she shouldn't have asked.

How do you even date somebody for almost a year and not buy a gift or show some form of tangible generosity even if she earns more?

The other guy might actually be a better choice for her than you because you sound laid back and not ready to move her forward. And she seems to be giving more to the relationship...being the one visiting and probably spends on and for you.

As in!!! No substance. No serious issue. We should advise because your gf said her ex is better in bed. Please don't insult nairaland with this non issue.

The master has gone to call his followers and they are here with their armoury.

It's nice to see that I have become the subject of your discussion. Keep it coming.

But seriously, why do you guys have to guide your beliefs so tight and scamper when they are challenged. You remind me of a certain religion.

Breathe guys

Not bad at all. It's good to have such respect for oneself and not be deceived by the world or social media standard.

Samakus:
Hi guys.

I will go straight to the point. Met a girl on industrial training in my place of work. In other words, babe is on I.T in my office. I liked her and I know she likes me too. We got talking, exchanged contacts and all that.

Fast forward to today, we went out on our first date. Before she came, babe politely told me that I will give her T.fare because she just started the IT stuff and didn't have T.fare to come to the date.I found it funny but agreed. Come on, if I could give you food on our date in a eatry, I could still give small thing as tfare. We live in the same city by the way and I calculated her transport fare going and coming, to be #500.

Babe came, we had a good time at my cost and I proceeded to give her #500 as T.fare. Her demeanor changed but she tried to be cool. I noticed everything but feigned ignorance. Getting home, called babe and we talked good. Now, maybe she thinks she's seen maga, she called back and asked if I could sub for her. That her data just got finished. I was like... WTF. I declined instantly and she dropped the call. I regretted not taking her home and bleep the hell out of her after the date as she was in the mood. I was trying to be good guy. Truth is, I liked her and didn't want to create a wrong impression.

Guys, don't date a student if you want something serious. I feel like giving her small thing as bait, get her to visit, chop and take my leave. Cos every feeling I have for her just evaporated. She ain't worth it. Who begs for T.fare on a first date? Naija girls, una Weldon.

It is the IT student you saw to ask out. Because she is comfortably below your status or level. You went for a hustling IT student. Now you are opening thread so that your fellow female bashers can fulfil their purpose in life.

Why didn't you go for a lady that can handle her bills and take care of herself and pay for your tfare? That one might bruise your ego.