₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
Again, imagine how many times much harder it was to do all you listed back about 30 years ago in that same Nigeria and you understand how much difficult life was then without all the conveniences and distractions you enjoy today.

You are right that there is no prize for not having a maid and those who want to will do so. I just think Nigerians have gotten lazier over the decade is all complaining about doing the same exact things even oyinbo dey do without much outside help.

Even back then, my mum didn't do them. Then, people always had one or two family members living with them who helped out. They were not maids but they came from the village to live with us while my dad helped with their education, etc.

So don't make it sound like our mums carried all the work on their heads without getting any help.

Kobojunkie:
I have friends and family who have successfully raised their kids in that Nigeria and they say it is much better than when we were kids and our parents did it. So I am not sure if you are being honest with yourself at all thinking our parents had it much better than we did.

You have friends who have successfully raised kids and they say it's better . Don't believe everything you are told.

You want to compare when naira was less than 100N to a dollar to now when it is 575 to a dollar. Let me put it in perspective...now something you used to buy for 1,000 naira is now 1,500- 1,700 but your salary hasn't been increased. It's still the same.

Or you want to compare when it was safe to put your children in government schools back. Now have you seen what government schools are like? You have to pay for private. I went to a govt school and it was good.

You want to compare our time when they controlled traffic with odd number and even number plate numbers; alternating leaving their cars at home. Now, before you get home, traffic would have worn you out.

Please don't sit somewhere and judge what you are not experiencing just because your rich friends told you so or what your mum experienced over 30 years ago. Don't rubbish what people are going through right now.

You still cannot answer my questions because you know you are not talking based on present experience.

Kobojunkie:
Why do you ask?

Is it that you think working and raising kids in Nigeria 30 years ago was somehow easier than working and raising kids in Nigeria today?

Answer the questions.

It's easy for you to be outside the country and talking like you understand how it is raising children in present Nigeria and confidently comparing it to 30yrs ago.

I was also raised in Nigeria, 6 children with working parents. I am currently in Nigeria working and raising kids and I can categorically tell you that it is nothing like it was in our days.

But if you think you can sit in another country, single or married and raising your children and think you can know more than someone that is living in Nigeria and raising kids, then this discussion is pointless.

So answer the questions I asked. Because you seem to understand the situation better than those in it.

Kobojunkie:
I am not talking of an ideal situation here and I am not trying to compare apples to oranges here. I am comparing what you say instead to what I grew up knowing in the same Nigeria you speak of.

Nigeria was in no way better than it is now when I was growing up. Raising kids in Nigeria then and now... not much of a difference - the same requirements really.

Putting off the raising of kids is a choice each could ought to make after considering their own circumstance. Marriage is not one-size fits all. And so it is meaningless to consider the plan others have going as far as children when you don't have the same resources and circumstances to consider.

Do you live in Nigeria right now?

Are you raising your kids right now in Nigeria?

Are you and your wife working while raising kids in Nigeria?

Kobojunkie:
A lot of homes come with those appliances? Where? You mostly purchase your own here.

I remember growing up in that very same Nigeria, we had to do laundry by hand at least once every two weeks and it was a whole day event sometimes but my mum still got it down without a househelp.

You keep talking about when you were growing up. Were the times the same? My cousin gets home sometimes by 11pm from Monday to Friday. Weekend is not to sit down and wash clothes and clean the house tirelessly. What about rest?

She's currently doing a course from work that starts by 9.30am till about 4pm on Saturdays and Sundays for the past 4 months.

We have a senior inlaw who was an advocate for doing things yourself. She advised us recently that if we can pay someone to help out, we should. Instead of forming ideal wife and doing everything. Because with time, it will tell on our health and bodies, especially in a country like Nigeria.

There's no prize for who doesn't have a maid (even if I have never had one).

Kobojunkie:
1. Not everyone can afford daycare and pick and not everyone has a flexible job. Many put off having kids until they are sure they have saved enough and are able to take time off to take care of them before heading back to work again.

2. When my mum was raising us, she didn't work for some years, and by the time we were grown up and school ready, she went back to work and we had to take care of each other...we were big enough then. No househelps then. Sometimes we would stay over at a friends place until my folks came back. Fortunately, we had other kids in the compound and toys to play with til they got back.

We are not talking of an ideal situation, but talking based on the situation of our country, employment rate, conditions, etc.

Wasn't the country better than it is now when your mum could go back and get a job? Right now, even the young graduates are depending on Npower.

In Nigeria, is it that easy to put off having children till money is saved? For how long? How many families have you seen do it? In Nigeria where you marry the whole family and your MIL will be watching your stomach.

Let's be realistic and not theoretical. It's easy to judge from outside. When you find yourself there, you can judge more objectively.

Kobojunkie:
The average oyinbo couple cannot afford all you have listed there at all. And the electricity bill, and the cost of running all those machines in one home ain't that cheap at all.

I grew up in a home with 2 working parents and 6 kids, and we never had need for a household, there in that same Nigeria.

A lot of their homes come with those appliances. How many oyinbo people do you see handwashing the clothes or using broom to sweep? Electricity still gets paid for. How much power does a washing machine take? Even here, you cannrunnit with a generator.

Kobojunkie:
My question was "for what?" Why does a typical family with two adults in it, need a house maid for? I look at the average Oyinbo household, and I wonder if Nigerians are simply lazy even in marriage .

You can't even compare the oyinbo families to ours. They could leave their babies in a day care and pick them up at a particular time. Also, they have jobs that could allow them work different hours so they can take care of the kids alternatively.

In Nigeria, you drop your baby at a day care, close at 5-6pm, sit in traffic for 2-3 hrs. Which daycare will be open till then?
People cannot even find regular jobs. How will they now find one with separate hours from their spouses?

Their own society is enabling for them, while ours is already setting people up for suffering and difficulty. It's not the same.

Babara1994:
That's not true. All women like and demand money. The men getting married are the simps.

You guys have no defence except to use the word "simp".

You will also be termed a simp when you decide to get married, after you have crossed this phase.

Favfables:
"When he cheats"??
You sound like you're sure that, the man has been cheating before or will definitely cheat some time soon, hence the word, "when" in your statement...

I don't support that dude for he's actions, but you'd agree with me that he's hurt by that Discovery and the only way he'd feel better is if he cause her a measure of pain...

Well, what do I know sef.... This story may just be a fictional one

I asked a simple question.

And I am only responsible for what I typed, but not how you choose to interpret it.

My point is that some guys are quick to hit their wives/gfs for committing an offense. But who beats them when they themselves offend?

Yet there are weddings every weekend. And during the week, registries are filled up with people tying the knots.

There are different classes of babes. It seems you guys with this ideology keep going for the cheap, good for only sex ones. Maybe because that's what you are too.

The handwriting is really top notch.

Who beats him when he cheats?

She did well.

Taking care of the house and children is serious work. Some men don't appreciate it. They just come home and everywhere is clean, the children have done their homework, and they are all neat and dressed up. Food is ready and the man just settles in nicely and relaxes.

Someone that fits perfectly into your puzzle

How long have you both been married? And was she in the political group before you guys got married?

She is your wife and you need to try and reach her somehow. At least you guys must have been in love at some point.

And if you can't reach her, what about her family, are they aware of her behaviour? Explore all options before you decide to end it.

You are 31 and are supposed to be making decisions for yourself. And not your parents still doing that for you.

Please take charge of your life and make them understand that you are a man now and the decision to stay or leave is yours.

I hope they won't be like TSTV.

Which airport is this one?

wordychap:
On my way back from work, driving on a highway, I noticed two cars reversing. This is usually a sign of FRSC officers ahead but i couldn't see any so I trottled on.

A short distance ahead I sighted a police van then I came on VIO checking. I was told to pa4k which i did and the checks started.
They checked my tyres then went to my papers. The lad then said my papers look suspicious and went ahead to send my plate number to his office to authenticate my papers.

After a delay of close to an hour, hia affice called and he told me the data they have with them shows my papers ought to have expired in february 2021 but what i had with me is to expire in february 2022.

Arguments ensued and I was told the fine is 50k. I have a lot to do with the car next week and besides children's school's resuming so i couldn't allow them take the cqr to their office.

To cut a long story short, I parted with 40k to the lad and gave him 10k to get me authentic papers by monday next week.

The said 'fame papers' was issued to me at Board of Internal Revenue office in Uyo, Akwa Ibom Stage, where one is to renew his papers. I actually got there and gave a lady i was introduced to the money and she went ahead to make payments- as i assumed, and gave me the papers.

If a government agency can issue fake papers and a sister agency collect penalties what's the hope for Nigeria?

Honestly i don't think i can let this slide i have to pursue this matter, only wish i can vividly recognise the lady that got me the papers at BIR.

This is my worst experience on the road so far and ita happened when i need money. Sad!

Instead of them to go after supposed govt officials who issue fake papers, they still obtain from the innocent citizens further.

Family members that are bad can be a major downfall to anyone. Because you will keep feeling you owe them something as family, but they will keep letting you down with their entitlement attitude.

Please keep your distance from them and allow only minimum contact. With the way it's going, the woman you will marry is in trouble already.

That one is not a marriage

Not looking good at all. Needs to quit strong substances

larryjonze:
yiimu .... lets just say eye is pushing you. lolz

Give your babe

Ishilove:
I can't wrap my head around such debauchery existing. I just can't believe it

My husband showed me the video. I could hardly bear to watch it. It was upsetting and unthinkable. These dogs have suffered.

Now when I see a lady with a dog, my mind wonders.

larryjonze:
Do you care for a gift

Lol

My family always had dogs. So I grew up with them. But I can't handle taking care of one. My little girl will be excited about having one though, but I will pass on your gift

My friend and brother

There was a video trending on Twitter about 2weeks ago where a dog was giving a lady head. Very disgusting.

Some men are just dumb. How can you take your wife and children to go and love with your mistress?

His business was bound to crumble when he was managing his family and funding a mistress' life. Some of these men, once they make small money, na to carry woman or marry 2nd wife.

Marriage is once in a lifetime, so it should be celebrated.

Wedding Anniversaries are milestones and should also be celebrated.

Both are important.

Afang doesn't need plenty onions...it alters the taste.

To make afang, the leaves are not just sliced, they are pounded after slicing.

Afang should not have that much water in it. And it goes well with periwinkle and yellow pepper.

I don't think your husband is as bad as mine. My husband is football personified . I'm glad that he watches it at home and keeps him home on weekends because I like having him around.

I know when the leagues start and what they mean to him, so I allow him watch. In fact, right now I'm so grounded in the knowledge of football of all leagues because I watch with him. Right now we are even watching Besiktas vs Dortmund.

Instead of fighting it, develop interest or you watch on your phone if it's dstv. If I'm not interested in the match showing, I watch Dstv Now on my phone. I don't do Telemundo or zee world, so it helps.

You might end up pushing him away if you constantly complain about it