₦airaland Forum

JESHAL:
When he's looking for work, he's always on the move, his heart is not at peace, he must not see his wife burdened and his children suffer,the pressure on the woman from her work mustn't be compared to the pressure he face when searching for new employment, in fact, he must keep himself busy, doing low Valued work till he gets a better alternative, he must not sit idly in the house, and yes he has no business in the kitchen, taking care of the home and nurturing children, he's a man, he's responsibilities are outside

Why are you hiding behind this "traditional role" to avoid responsibility? If the husband and the wife act as a team, life will be better for both of them. But it seems your idea of marriage is a power tussle and that a man's job status defines him.

The Bible likened the love a man should have for his wife with the way Christ loved the church. Do you know what it means to love that way? It is not a conditional love.

Will a man who loves his wife genuinely, sit at home all day and wait for her to come back from work and meet the house upside down, kids in disarray, no food to eat with the excuse that it is her role and not his role. Is it a sin for him to tidy his surroundings. Or doesn't cleanliness lead to godliness? Why do we quote the Bible to benefit our interests?

If we are talking about roles, why should she be the one working and the man is jobless? Is it her role to be the breadwinner? But she doesn't neglect it to sit idle because it is not her "role".

Let's stop using the mindset to imprison ourselves and those around us. Some of you men will enslave your wife because you lack consideration for her that the Bible preaches.

Ofadaman:
My son, it has never been easy, I've lost all respect and control. Even my kids don't even respect or greet me, she speaks to me rudely , she challenges my every decisions , she nags endlessly comparing me to other men and telling me I'm less of a man.
She returns home late and doesn't do any house chores anymore. Nothing pleases her , even today I sat to watch a football game and she came in to change the station to those Bollywood series and told me if I'm the one who subscribed for it.

I've lost my manhood... "


Dnt let this be your story, hussle to make Money

Na wa o.

The truth is that some men are lazy, and some lose motivation and the will to get back on their feet. They give up easily and become like wall geckos; always at home.

So also, some women are very impatient and verbally abusive when they take responsibility of bills in the house especially when their husbands are not working.

Dating period is really important and it's not just a time to be "loveying-doveying". It's a time to know who the person is.

AmazonTopaz:
I don't know where I heard this slag from "how can you be broke and proud" I think it is from a song or something that is what I see here when it comes to some men in this situation.

Very terrible combination.

Awinneralways:
If you arent careful, some stuff you read here may start affecting you. Deactivate immediately

You that just joined this forum last month, telling me to deactivate . What else do I want to hear here?

Why is how the person got the number always the most important thing or a crime.

Some ladies are always too fixated on this.

Now I feel like drinking palm wine

OP it's the woman you married o. That is her character. It's not all women. So just deal with the matter as per it's one of her flaws. Maybe spending money pinches and peppers her body.

Not all of us mouth off like that because we pay for one thing or the other. We have to work together.

Vision101:
@JESHAL


Wrong the biggest predicator of a woman's happiness is having a family with children, statistically speaking women who are high earners, unmarried, childless report the highest rate of unhappiness in America the most liberal society in the world where women are the most free.


@me
A law lecturer once said that deep down in the mind of most policemen, they want to be lawyer.

Deep down in the mind of high flying women, they need men around them no matter how liberal the relationship. When they have none, sometimes an issue or event comes up that makes them need men around them.

At old age those of them without children feel lost no matter their achievements.

I'm not trying to hurt any female. Indeed I have some of them as friends here (@greenie77, ImaIma1 etc.).

Because of my call, I'm privileged to have some of them around me. They know that I can't do any harm (I'm a retired general anyway). Some of them because of some sad experiences avoid men.

But sometimes too they need a trusted male to talk to. If they trust you they empty themselves before you. In some of their personal transactions they need you to be part of the discussion to boost their image.

Forget about the trending on the social media. One told my wife that she should not be worried if she sees me discussing with her. That what she can never do with me is to be naked. That she's ready to share any secret with me because she trusts me.

They need men no matter how strong they are. Some of our men have greatly disappointed them and they fear any male around them.

It's understandable that women need men. But it's also the other way round. Men also get lonely in their old age. So let's not make it gender based.

What about a woman who has stayed with a man and had a terrible experience and had to run for her life. Won't such a woman prefer to be alone and safe than to be married and in bondage?

Also, a woman who loses her husband when she's 50/60 and goes on to live alone till about 80. Will you ask her to remarry because she needs a man?

Having a man is great but I don't think it is the only way. Let's learn to respect the decisions of those that choose not to have for whatever reasons best known to them.

I have a family, doesn't mean I'll look down on those who don't. Everyone has their issues and are managing their lives.

Your write up suggests that a woman's life revolves around a man and she is nothing on her own.

But no damage done. It's just your perspective and a reflection of your mentality. It's not supposed to concern us.

Ladies, As You Were! (military term for return to your previous posture or what you were doing before)

Naaaaaa. Looks scary.

Seems he was paying her to stay with him.

Personal driver loading...

Pinopinodaddy:
Go to hospital to see a Dr. Very fast, he will guide you to avoid touchy stories after 72hours. If there's infection he will flush it but if not, after 72hours if you are infected na your death be that

He's broke and homeless. He only had 1k for the sex

IgiveLadiesBj:
Na just 1K.

Konji hold me bad bad... Since one month I never have sex

1k sex? Guy, are you not afraid for your life? Konji can't kill you but dangerous sex can. For heaven's sake guard your life more

Sex will be some people's downfall. You are broke and homeless, yet you can still manage to squeeze out money for brothel services. Carry on.

Missionaire:
Lol, mine was ducks.
Had one that chased me....never knew they could fly till that day.
Dogs too.... One bit me horribly on my buttocks... Chai... I'll never forget.

I hope the mark is still there.

In my own case, the animal was the one that played a prank on me.

I was having home lesson at the backyard and needed to go pee. We had turkeys then. This turkey kept following me. I started running and it started running too and chasing me. I entered the house and peed. When I opened the door to go back for my lesson, the turkey was waiting for me at the door to continue the chase.

Till this day, I fear turkeys.

DrFunmisticGlow:
As in ehn!!


My dad kept asking me if I was going to end up as a house wife before giving me money for jamb form. He said that if I end up as such, it is better he keeps the money and will be pained if such happens after training me to uni.

I respect housewives, because they do sacrifice a lot but it is not something I can do for a long time. I like working, earning and spending my money.

It's better to have an income. Being a housewife is not the best way to go.

BiggyB242:
But the problem is over 80 per cent of Naija women will choose to be a housewife only a few really want to pursue a career, why do you think most ladies are looking for wealthy men in the first place?

As for me career woman or nothing, you don't know how relieved your financial burden will be. I have seen first-hand families and trust me the ones with a working class wife is far better.

Well...I can't say that it's up to 80%. Many ladies actually worK. In my previous office, we were like 12 ladies and 18 guys. And applications were from both sexes.

And some ladies don't do the office jobs but prefer to do their own thing like fashion designing, catering, baking, running restaurants,etc and they are doing well.

It's actually better for a wife to have an income as well; for herself and the family.

BigBashiru:
no man denies woman her right to work! most men don't.

Really?

So you haven't seen husbands who refuse to allow their wives work?

BigBashiru:
which full potential? there's nothing glamorous about work....its just stress.... even guys working are praying to win millions in lotto and quit

Not when it's what she wants but is denied of it to sit at home.

eazzzy1:
A mother can be good to her children and be bad to outsiders. Let’s assume your mom is a teacher, she flogs her students and she’s seen as a witch to them, she pays your school fees with the money she makes from teaching. She’s a good hardworking mother to you.

So she’s a hardworking, loving and sacrificing mom to you but a witch to her students.

Kind of true.

The way my MIL treated me when she came after I put to bed was different from the way she treated her daughter when she put to bed.

Some people can only be loving to their own children. It seems they cannot help it. While I know someone who prefers her husband's mother to her own mother.

Mums have their flaws. They are not spirits.

That's what my father inlaw told my mother inlaw. Now she complains because she's completely dependent on her children even from a young age after losing her husband.

Being hit on at work is not peculiar to women. Besides, it's not always the case. A man cannot hold his wife back from reaching her full potential because he thinks men will make passes at her. That's being selfish.

Husband and wife both went to school, but the woman is meant to sit at home. If her father was scared about men making passes at his daughter, he wouldn't have sent her to school.

24brains:
thanks. Hope you love poets? How far, abeg we fit mingle personally?

Sorry I have already mingled deeply. No room to mingle more.

24brains:
never argue with a woman for you cannot argue with feelings. Instead, manipulate them.

No mind me jor. No be say l hate women. I love women and they love me. Am charming to love and those i have loved are longing to love me even just one more time. Now i'm not bragging about myself, just trying to make a point

Poet

FFK that can sell his family member for 5 shekels of silver

bepositive11:
Tell me who are simps?

Men who treat women right with love and respect and dignity?

Then yes, marriage is for simps

So called alpha males who appear dominant are the most insecure and weakest. They use a facade to hide it

If simps is what you use to refer to men who can be emotionally vulnerable enough to show and feel genuine love and connection, yes.

Please stop shaming them. They're the winners at the end of the day over you toxic red pillers

You should understand that this is a phase that the op will cross when he's mature. People before him have proclaimed worse and they are married now.

24brains:
true. Only simp gets tied down by a woman in the name of marriage. Redpillers like us, davido and wizkid can have baby mamas and children and not tied with marriage.

We can't continue to eat only egusi all our life. What happens to vegetable, okra and ewedu?

You that you are beans and pap. You expect someone to be eating you everyday.

Kobojunkie:
I am far from ignorant about anything, especially this.

Good night

Kobojunkie:
That none of this is my current does not change or diminish any of what I have said so far.

Your ignorance cannot be helped especially when you are so set in it.

Kobojunkie:
We were what was called back then, a nuclear family unit. We didn't have extended family members bunking down or any thing of that sort. There were years when no one even showed up at our door steps.

No, everyone was too busy living their own lives and so everyone in the house did their own share of chores for the most part.

Kobojunkie are you currently living in Nigeria and raising kids? Yes or No

Kobojunkie:
I am afraid you continue to compare the wrong things here.

No, my friends are correct in that they instead compared the decision making of families back then to now. People tend to act more like sheep now than back then when a family as a unit independent of every other.

Earlier, I had tried explaining how couples put off childbearing for when they were better able to handle the expenses and demands, but you had responded that it was not accepted practice this because many don't consider it. Back then, each family essentially had to cut their own coat according to your size.

Kobojunkie are you currently living in Nigeria and raising kids? Yes or No