₦airaland Forum

No 5 is funny "but i use this ATM this morning, which kyn bank be this?

Question.

Aki and pawpaw

2go babes

holy kidnappers

dari's God o

It is real joor! false Ko, fairy tale ni.

Who say there is no blood money when the devil is still in the ministry of "bring life and get rich"?

Biblical version "And the chief priests took the silver pieces, and said, it is not lawful for to put them into the treasury, because, it is the price of blood" Matthew 27:6

real life version (1) i know the case of a good christain woman, she was closer to God and prays always and thank for some genuine men of God.

When her pastor saw the evil intent towards her, he told her "go on dry fasting and prayer on so so day, don't eat nor drink and don't let anyone know that u are fasting the woman agreed.

She fasted on the first day, on the 2nd, the son when home to visit her. And she was happy not knowing that if not for God, the guy would have sent her to early grave.

That day, the son gave her a special bread and ask her not to share it with anyone "mama, this bread is a special bread for you, don't share it with anybody. I will give other their own, use this one to drink tea this night, it is different from other bread and very sweet as u can see"

mama: nwa m' imela o, chukwu gozie gi

next morning the guy as the mother if she have taken tea with the bread the woman told him no that she is not yet hungry and the guy became worried and restless that the woman was almost tempted to tell him that she is fasting but she didn't.

The woman start being suspicious of her son, what she did was make tea, enter her room, divid the bread, hide the bread somewhere in her room, throw the tea away from the back window, stay in her room for some minutes and came out to thank her son for the delicious bread.

And the guy was happy because his trap has caught a big cobra.

The following morning, everybody wakes up but Mr was assumed to be still sleeping or maybe resting. When breakfasts was served and they went to his room to check on him he didn't wake after all the knocking.

They have no option than to break down the door and when they did, what they saw was Cobra

when the woman called on her pastor, even before she could open her mouth to explain what happened, the pastor was the one to tell her what befall her son and made her understand that that was the reason why he asked her to fast, that the son wanted to use her for "RITUAL"

Had it been she ate the bread, she would have been the one that will turn to cobra.

May he that dig a pit against us fall into it IJN amen

27m for ordinary form made of paper? Chaii!!

no wonder election period is characterized with so many ritual killing & sacrifice, God will save us all.

1 = because i need to check and write date before taking down the pastor's message

2 = this number 2 is not my forth and i only did it once. The pastor was declaring "from now till the end of this week, you will receive a call that will change ur life" so i picked the call when it comes in because i don't want to miss my blessing.

3 = one day,as we were praying a lady beside me was shouting "leave me alone! give me my crown!! the fire is too much! Stop the fire! My crown! My crown!" so i have to open my eyes to avoid things that touch. Afterall, the bible says "watch and pray"

17 = this one is cause by hunger

Rapist: Worry not my Country People. Everything is gon be taking shape after 2015 Election. Everyone will stick to his/her Profession.

"The Change" is gon' make Politics less Attractive.

and this is coming from a "RAPIST"

He doesn't know exactly what he want, i thought that he is also a pastor apart from being an actor & a producer. Now politics.

He is confuse.

I smell disappointment @ the end

Capital "No"

Baba God you de hear me sooooo?

You said "ask and it shall be given unto u" i asked not to reincarnat as a black girl because this is cheating.

Look at the kind of hair you gave to white ppl and look @ that of the black. Must i add one chemical called "relaxer" to my hair b4 it can be easy and smooth to comb?

IYANGBALI: Hmmm God no dey sleep,our player don dey work on dem,I thank God for answling our player

player or prayer?

If you don't know how to spell "prayer", then i doubt if you know how to pray or what prayer is all about.

**U must be a player

Their weapons shall prosper on their own head.

"he that kill by the sword shall die by the sword"

R.I.P to Boko Haram

Themandator: A shakau appearing on TV for bragging can't look same as a disoriented shakau that has had no sleep for for almost a week before running into bullets.

Osama dyes his beards before every TV appearance otherwise you would have seenba different Osama with white beards.


We are not going into the election of 2015 with a shakau as a snag. Boko Haram, the remnants, either surrounds or be removed like Bashir

thanks

hajarayau: All of u una stupid how can u compered this pic wit shekau. We are all educated let's use our intellegent work wit its. Nigeria troops dey just want government to prove dem. But dey dnt know anytin. Nigeria army dey are just fashion for 9ja. Only punished innocent pples on the road stupids. They send u stupid pic of shekau. Are u mad nigerain peoples ? Use ur brain and diffirenciate dis pic. Dnt be confused mumu! Shekau is alive and well. This is mohammed bashir. Nigerai army una stupid for snap dis pic for us.

i think you are right, the one that appear dead doesn't have beard like shekau.

Good news of the year.

**God bless Nigeria army

Wetin concern us with all those "sordid saga he listed on that speech.

* my father was imprisoned (therefore criminal tendencies) what is my business with that

*my father died when i was 11 (some children do lost their father even b4 they were born)

*with the help of my mother and other relative, i was able to go to school (some children don't even have mother or relative to support them)

so don't tell me trash because life have been pretty fair for you.

Stop! Stop!! Stop it, it won't work.

May God grant him a safe ride towards 2015.

Lovine: Unless they kill Prophet TB Joshua or jail him you haters will not find peace, if so no more peace for you all. Accident can happen even to you or your love ones anywhere.

it can also happen to you and your love ones.

Watch your back and your love ones back because i see ur calamity coming with the speed of light.

The accident that happened at synagogue church was a "calculated one" not everybody is stupid to know that.

I knew this will enter from one story to another and at the end, we will get excuses instead of satisfactory result because the truth can be hidden under money.

It is in this case that you ppl will get to know that man TB.

Ok! I understand, cosmetic for the blind.

NICE way of deception.

It could be her gate man that do snapped her those pix.

That could be the reason for the gate backgrounds.

Happy birthday Linda.

Chinaimporter: [size=18pt]I love this country so much every day is a drama. Whenever i a bored of sitting on my japanese peacock feather couch in my ikoyi waterfront mansion watching luciano pavaroti and ivete sangalo on my 100 inches maximuim defination samsung tv sipping a double xo richelieu cognac,wearing my cool hugo boss cashmere sweater and on my laps sits my 19 yrs old mixed race(multiple cocktail),hour glassed shaped barbadian beauty, i just get into my pegusas italy built luxury yacht and read nigerian newspapers just to laugh and wonder at the life of the poor men and women of nigeria who work for a living because there pappas never made it.[/size]

so u are enjoying because ur papa made it hum?

Ur papa worked hard to see that u did not suffer, so u too need to work hard so ur unborn children will not suffer if not, u will be "called a generational miscarriage"

do not glory in ur father's achievement but in ur's.

That's good!

Huge amount is paid as schl fee yet, we don't receive the amount of lecture that worth that money. 95,700 is not a small money.

We pay for medical but we don't go for medical check-up. I wonder where the morning is going to

we pay for ID card, we are just paying because we are asked to not because we will get it.

Plus small small money we contribute after lecture to give lecturals just to thank them for coming as if they won't get paid.

After writing exam, u won't see ur result.

LASU part-time is a mistake.

lirusehn:
it's just like asking me why ave neva taken carrot and yet ave got hatred for it. Mere looking at those fruits alone won't lemme think of tasting them. Their Physical forms are iritating i swear to God

but u do eat fried rice and salad made with carrot?

I do eat the seed together with the watermelon.

Even the skin have its own health benefit.

Obuotuwadi - na so this world be?

achodiminu - i don't want to stay

njonwa - the ugliness of a child

abiaramimegini - what have i come to do?

ebeadiegu - this place is terrible

chimdulam - God escort me back

nogebola! - in this time of Ebola!

Agaheremuzo - i miss road

sweet names.

They should make it mandatory for every student to go to screening and provide a medical certificate before resuming or being Admitted in schl.

Endtime tragedy

i heard some1 saying that, this is a disguise case of human sacrifice. I am not the one that says so plsssss don't stone me with the words of ur mouth.

For the victim, this is a case of being @ the wrong place and @ the wrong time. Sorry i mean @ the right place @ the wrong time rather.

RIP to them.

Refined lies! Calculated lies!! Expensive lies!!!

Anyway, non of those fruits is my favorite.

Give me Avocado pear and take all the Fruits mentioned here

DonaldGenes: Hahahahahahah where is she from and where is she now

Idiot!!!! Sorry you made me call you that but look at how dirty your mind is? @Janetozil

u are the idiot!!!! Didn't u read were i said "i don't have the mind"? That i would have borrowed it from ur father the devil?

FOOL!

Rexnegro: Try washing of face with soaps morning n night it does help but will nt disappear ur within a day but it does help

people do take their bath morning and night na! Is it possible to bath without washing ur face?

Tooth paste causes dryness to my face and does not cure my pimples, i have tried it on several occasions.

The worst for me is garlic, i can't stand the body odor except i will stay indoor 4 2-3 days when i apply or eat it because the smell can be so embarrassing.

Thanks to my soap "Rhome" after bathing @ night, i apply it on my face and during daytime i mix it together with my cream apply it and it is working for me.

I missed not giving him a rat poison or mixing his drinking water with acid when i have the opportunity.

even if i don't have the mind, i would have borrowed from the devil, now I'm regretting it.

@op, if it is possible to turn back the hand of time, tell me how to do that.

vicadex07: My dad told me if I came first in my exams, he was going to buy me a bicycle. I never truly understood what the concept was then so I outdid myself. I made sure I was "first" to finish and submit.

Immediately I got home, I broke the news to my dad filled with joy and satisfaction. Immediately he heard, he was like how did you know you are the first when your results haven't been released and I was like "I was the first to finish and submit dad, am not lying, you can ask my aunty"...and that was the end of the story. All the explanation he gave me fell on deaf ears. At the time I felt he betrayed my trust so that he won't be obliged to fulfil his promise of buying me the bicycle

Lol! Whether u were the 1st to finish writing or 1st in position, 1st is 1st.

Tell ur dad that i said, he is indebted to u.