₦airaland Forum

Moonstone:
I can see that NL already has some of the mad men that need the psychiatric test. I'm not surprised.

All the B.S. I'm seeing here is of no point. If a woman abuses you, she's not going to kill you with her words. Some men have beaten their wives close to the point of death. Some are even worse when they beat their wives in front of their children. I have seen buffoons beat up their wives like little children.

If your wife abuses you, what is she using to abuse you? Do your own back if it hurts you so much. If not, hold your freaking peace and stew in anger.

To beat your wife is barbaric but some women aggravate those men. Women too need to learn how to control their tongues but I have seen men that beat women and curse the women simultaneously.
If your wife has a big mouth, that's your fault because I'm sure she showed traits before the marriage. If you can stand it, then don't complain and if you can't, don't marry such. you are 101% correct here and i dont pity such. please God forgive me.
I still believe that NO MAN has ANY excuse to beat a woman. It's a cowardly attitude. It goes both ways but it does not warrant any physical violence.

you talk well. i wrote here in some funny thread of seeing a woman beating the husband in nigeria. abuse is abuse. never justified. no excuse for it.

AjanleKoko:
@JJYOU,
Don't agree. The whole world is consumer-oriented, except of course for China.

The real issue is that people don't know, period.
People here don't really know who they are. If we ever did in the past, we lost all that identity somehow.
People here don't really know what they want to be. So we keep kicking back to the colonialists, and keep citing the colonial era, for self-validation.
People, either here or in the diaspora, don't really know how to move forward. Or to a large extent, how to empower themselves to move forward. That is why it seems the struggle to survive is really bitter out here in the Third World.

The difference between now and the future are only two things - maturity and leadership. It's all right to pin it all on Yar'Adua. But a large number of us are even far less capable. Most people can't even run their lives, it seems.
I like Covey's definition of progress - the 'continuum of maturity', from dependence to independence, and later to interdependence. Has any of us ever thought about the possibility that the struggle to make Nigeria better starts with each and every one of us? How far along that continuum are we as individuals?

That is why you see the trend of some of the Asiactic nations (Indians, Chinese, etc) being able to establish themselves anywhere they find themselves, in every field of industry imaginable, even crime. They obviously have moved further along that continuum, and are able to beat a path through the bush to the future.
Was at a Chinese restaurant the other night, and couldn't help marvelling at the fact that every single thing in that place, including the Insect-O-Cutor, hand dryer, taps and sink, and even the toilet bowl, were all manufactured in China. That can't all be government, or communism. At least we didn't see too many Soviet merchandise around those days. Long and short, let's all get busy living and moving forward to the place of our dreams. That even varies from person to person.

are u of the ccc pa AjanleKoko? oga u like grammar i no go school. u talk about china are they not producing what is nigeria producing?

north america and europe are producers too in their own right plus the small matter of everyone using their currency plus them setting prices. what may surprice you too is that china and indian economy are to a large extent owned by americans/ europeans too. they own/ part own most of the factories producing the things they sell here in the west.

what you see the indians and chineese doing is doing what the west did to transform itself. tonight i heard on the auntie BBC of a town in china producing fridges but only one man own a fridge in the whole town and that was thanks to the govt giving farmers to subsidy to buy such things.

we are a consuming society that is fact. consuming what we cant afford for that matter.

we use paludrine. the mrs is allergic to something in it so she takes an injection that works for 21 days and puriton or puriton not sure correct spelling of that. sister nwando, over to you.


we start the paludrine 3 days before we move and our GP says another 3 days when we come.
i have to admit i dont use it when i go on my own

amebo no1.:
the last time i checked injuries,punches,slapping leads to broken bones, one eye, swollen legs,and above all leads to death

words can always be compensated with words ,a simple "im sorry " can go along way

madam, seriously i hate all kind of violence but i hate people who cant keep their tongues more. this is one thing that upset me so quickly. sadly this educated generation appears worse than our parents generation.

~Sissy~:
seems to me some people here just sit behind their computer screens and vomit type nonsense.

there is no excuse for domestic violence be it man or woman

101% right. i lost respect for one lady the day i saw her abuse her husband without shame. it is abuse in my book. the english use this silly phrase " Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me". i always wonder why they have domestic violence if this is true. it is not all about drinks.

Insert Quote
Quote from: Leilah on April 24, 2009, 10:12 PM
Oh my God this is really horrible.   Listen Bridget there is a friend of mine that was married for eight years, they saved and saved for a home and put the baby plans on hold so last may came the good news that she was pregnant, I was over the moon for her, I always was fond of her husband (a carribean national).  Then, lo and behold last Dec a letter came from the Welfare Dept requesting for her husband to attend in connection with a baby by the name of Massius that was born in July 2008! my friend was eight months pregnant and found out her husband did this behind her back.

He wouldn't give us the details of the girl and the child saying it was 'just a one nighter' I went to the birth cert office of public records here in Dublin and got all the details. We calmly paid the girl a visit. She said that he had been seeing her right up until that night, she was in a terrfied, upset state and couldn't beleive of this (his wife).  The lady he cheated with and impregnated was a Polish national who had a son for him.

My friend simply completely ignored him when she got the real truth and to date she refuses to speak to him.  he keeps trying and trying to get back with her. So she informed the immigration Division of the change is circumstnces and they called him in a re issued him with a temporary 6 month visa pending decision on the case. So, a court date is set for them now to make an arrange as regards custody and maintenance.

Sorry for all the ranting, why I'm telling you this is because you have to be strong, just like my mate is, it has been worth it for her, she has a beautiful son and a caring family. She has regained her self confidence and is a changed person for the better and you can be the same. Just forget that he actually exists on earth at all its not not worth the pain and the hassle, thats what she did and it has worked. At least youre not the only one this has happened to and futhermore at least you were not left with a mortgage agreement. Sorry for your pain. There is a lot more to live than this.

On another note, may I ask where this other lady is from?

bintab:
Abegi ,see leila heping her friend,Leila, Leila, leilaaaaaaa heeeeeelp your self first.

leilah na physician wey no dey chop her medicine. she is becoming funny.

$osisi:
I started to read the first post and the thing started giving me headaches.
The story is too complicated for my liking.
I have other things to worry about
Infact I burnt my whole pot of kpomo tonight
and I can't get the smell out of the house
that is my biggest worry right now
not all this baby mama drama

you dey chop kpomo when your brother dey increase the population right left and center. i go chop my own next week prenty prenty plus some fish and ogbolo soup.

envy no one my sister.

kosovo:
so was i right?

kosovo better pass nigeria?

nigeria is a very blessed place. we have the wrong people .

say for instance you ask the english to exchange thier island for nigeria without the oil today they will gladly do the deal. the irony is that give them 10yrs in nigeria and nigerians in the UK, nigerians will be queing in london for visa to nigeria.

we dont have the will and enduring strenght to pay the prize for transforming anything. we dont have the love to do anything for the good of the masses. we are mostly I, me and myself oriented. users and consumers. that is the difference.

Nostalgic:
Well my Naira Landers, there's this average bloke that I'm talking to, in the beginning, he would hit me up frequently and do almost anything I wanted him to. He asked me to be in his future and as soon as I started liking him, he CHANGED! This guy does not even seem to be interested anymore, we can go weeks w/o even talking or seeing each other (mind you we go to the same school). My question to all NL guys is that is it usually just a game to get a fine babe to like you or are you just scared of commitment? And to my NL ladies, how do you feel and what do you do when a guuy you like ends up acting like this? To EVRYONE in GENERAL:::::::> What do you think I should do? Leave him or Stick w/him hoping that he'll change, afterall he claims to still like me.

most men are hunters by instinct. they hunt for meat they dont need. i am not saying it is right but that is the natural habit of most men without even trying. the added drama of your delayed response brings out the killer instinct to go for the kill and thereafter walk away.

NOTE i said most not ALL.

MRbrownJAY:
the attention span of a man is not that big and anything can make him change. if you made him wait to long, then he probably "collected" on some seeds he planted elsewhere. have you been "freaky" (having sex)? how long had this been going on before he dropped you?   have you thought about the fact that this man might have found out something about you that turned him off completely? or do you think that as soon as someone is interested in you, he should be for the rest of his young life?
you dont seem to have been very close so its not a big deal, nothing lost. move on with your life and remember that what comes out of a mans mouth, might not be what he really thinks but rather the right thing to say at the time to get to the "promise land"
BTW: what about asking him directly the next time you see him?! i am sure he knows better than us why he doesnt want you in his future anymore.

you know your bros is going to tell nothing but the truth

Czarskit:
~ The Calabar Sex thingy is crap. . . They're as normal as other gals. ~

thanks for speaking up for the silent majority. how many times do we need to repeat lies? to wonder that many have fallen for this crap is unbeleivable

wendyc:
Bridget,
i'll tell u now that who ever said leave GOD out of it is telling u- well u can't get out of it.
if there is anything on this earth that we think we can do with out GOD, i'll like for one to point to it. if u make a wrong decision, it's becos u chose to do dat, it's not GOD making d decision 4 u. right from d begining, he gave us dat freedom. it's left to us to follow and make the ones he advise us to take.

As for all d people telling u to leave ur husband, ask which is married? ask how their marriage is, some will and do take more of all dat u have gone through in their own marriages if not worst, and then dey tell u to leave him. if u do, and d next prince charming comes, proposes on top of the mountain for all to see, gives u d best marriage u can ever dream of, takes u & ur kids to shopping in London or anywere every foru months, threats u like u r on top of d world, only to find out dat he's doing some rituals, or some un godly things, armed robbery or so, will u leave him too, and cos all u'll do is either get back here and ask for advise that u maaried a robber, or a killer, should u leave him, and d answer as always is "what r u doing with a killer" and all d stuff.
Your husband is out in d world. far into d world i should add. all u have to do is interceed and pray for him, pray for yourself and ur kids. if u have taken d convenant that he's ur hubby, hold on and pray about it, d drugs if u can't have him around u and d kids, u can tell him to pls stop coming till he learns to keep it away from u guys, and ask GOD to deliver him from it. it's not an easy thing.
some men cheat, even d ones dat love their wives, and all that stuff, it's temptation. d one with the power to over come it is the one that will over come, ur prayer is for GOD to have him over come d temptation.
my dear all u have is GOD, any other thing is not going to work, even if u leave him for the next simple but loving GUy, what happens if dat one too does something? u leave again.

marriages go through ups and downs, it may have being rough from d begining which u should have seen, but u didn't and let it happen, GOD is a merciful GOD, even with this, he will still help. depend on him completly and not on any advise dat some give here.

true but tell her to go repair the car and ignore her buddy leilah,

Nosa-Henry:
We are madly in love with each other.  We do work very hard at keeping our marriage on track and working.  The thing that brought us together was destined, it was ment for us to find each other.  He is my missing piece.  And if actions speak louder than words than his is screaming at the top of his lungs that he is madly in love with me.  The best part about all of this is if he turned around tomorrow and said it is over, I have experienced a love that very few ever get to experience and that cant be taken away from me no matter what.

This is one of the best compliment i have read in recent times. Baby, enjoy your life while it lasted (hope it will last till death do you part) because many people don't get to experience or feel true love throughout their life time.

[@bridget
My only advice to you is to work on your self esteem and you will be ok.

nosa, do single parents in naija feel this vulnerable in naija?

zilosxp link=topic=265210.msg3805322#msg3805322 date=1241112956:
@POSTER
your English is scary.dont even know how people got to understand you.bet it wasnt easy

u sabi oyinbo pass english womanNnawao

tpiah:
Rephrase your question this time using tribe instead of Africa and African- you'll get more responses.

is that a trap or what? where are your latest selections for me? been missing your counselling so i am wandering into calabar now.

walesmann:
I contacted my contacts at GTBank before commenting on this thread. I understand the Bank charges N100 for withdrawals of amounts less than N40K made in their Banking halls. If the customer uses the ATM for his withdrawals , he is not charged a dime. However , if he chooses to do the same in the Banking hall , he will be charged. If the amount withdrawn in the Banking hall is more than N40k , say N50K , customer would not be charged anything.

They also made me realise that the charge would not be applied in situations of ATM downtime , excessive queue at the ATM or where there are some other peculiar conditions (e.g. if the amount customer needs would not be possible with the denominations available through the ATM).

I bank with many Banks (dont ask me for names please) and I know that this situation applies across most of them. I think what our Banks need at this moment is encouragement rather than a further heat-up of the system.

oga thank you. it is always easier to cause panic or slander on NL than read rules.

bridget007:
Well, if you believe that god does things for a reason, hear this, my car has failed its M.O.T and whilst is an excellent runner has severe under body corrosion and so will be off the road very shortly. Thus, making it now impossible for me to go and pick my ex/husband up to come see or stay with us. Whilst I can afford to get another car I am not in a rush to as I have excellent transport links around me and the kids which can be easily used.

God works in mysterious ways, now I will not be able to able to give in and run around for him, and if he doesn't make the effort to get a train he will not be able to see us and total separation will be inevitable. Its a scary thought for me but I know its the right one, guess sometimes god/fate lends a hand.

go and repair the car. why would you drop a man just when he needs you most? creat a thread and ask us what is expected of you as first wife. the guy maybe permitted by home office to marry a second wife on religious grounds. at least the pressure on you would reduce now he has a 2nd woman. who knows maybe a third. it only gets better from here.

i am going to nigeria next week if you desire to sell the film rights i may be of assistance. only 15% commission no VAT.

surface:
@ londoner,why dropping ur contract number on dis forum

what is wrong in my dropping number  +44 (0)7848 500 90035 ? 

tpia said i can marry as many as she like didnt she?

i beg pretend you didnt see my number.  it is only for people who want to link me wuth calabar women.

y me:
so i can give him a call

you may call again when tpia is not watching.

minto:
Some men of God sha, u go tink say na only bible be dia focus; uhm, see how bishop Ameye don take corner eye choose better meat for pot . Anywayz, congrats aunty Lizzy, more diapers in your closet.

bad belle why must ekwuensu's servants have the best?

God dont do ugly my brother. a preacher must have the most beautifull. hope he will be gratefull with his lot in life. she is a blessing. one of those truly saved "celebrity" people. she is quiet and level headed.

JustGood:
These women never learn. I'm sure if anyone tried to advise them, they'd give the person a lecture on the meaning of love etc.

You guys never sabi

you dont want to fall in love? when you become desperate you do anything.

presido1:
He said he was charged for using the counter not ATM. No bank here charges you for using the counter irrespective of the amount you are taking off. Meanwhile no BANK ATM charges you. The only ATM that charges is the once you see in pubs and corner shops.

Its robbery when bank charge you for withdrawal.
Are you ok? So bank robbing customers will now change nigeria. If that is the case then nigeria will never change.

where is the here you are talking about sir? you may think it okay to abuse people because of N100 it doesnt make you taller. for the general good of the populace there has to be policies to change place.

i know for a fact that if you go to the counter more than 3 times in most banks in the uk to withdraw cash they will charge you.  go check the small prints. 

if you live in the uk and you buy an unregistered mobile phones on the pay as you go you pay more because you dont allow the govt to trace your  calls easily whereas if you register the sim either through credit/debit cards  you get immediate £10 prize difference with cheaper call tarrifs too unless that has changed recently.  i still seee the cards purchase price in newspaper ads.  these are govt. policies.   

these are small controls any sane society put in place for reduction of cash and crime/ orderliness.  they are not asking you to use cards because they want you to use the machines.  they are attempting to reducing the volume of untracable cash moving around in the society.

when i come to nigeria for instance i dont come with much cash because i can draw on my foreign accounts whereas most of you come here  physically taking foreign currency out  of the system.  putting more presure on a buying and selling economy.

please relax it is only N100

presido1:
JJYOU

Which bank in Europe deduct money from your account for making withdrawal? Don't give false info if you don't have any info to give. Its robbery and such thing can only happen in Nigeria. As far as i know you can enter into any bank branch where i leave and withdraw £1 as far as you have £1 in your account and no body charges you for that. I use GTB and everytime i do online transfer they deduct some amount from ma account for sms while i have not received any sms from them. You can tell me that banks do that everywhere.
That only happens where nobody regulates the system and the people that are incharge are part the system that robs us. Its a shame really.

it is good to read properly before answering threads. the guy didnt say he was being charged for using ATMs. dont talk banking with me oga because i know what i am talking about.

there are loads of ATMS that charge fees in the UK and i know too you pay for using counter services more than 3 times in some banks. i dont go to banks mostly but i have accounts that cost you money to make a call to my banker. N100 is okay. you may wish to read this again

Iranoladun:
I think the topic should be 'why do bank deduct N100 from your account if you did not use ATM' To the best of my knowledge Oceanic bank does it, UBA, Ecobank, Zenith etc I specifically asked Oceanic bank & their staff told me it is a CBN directive in order to encourage people to use the ATM

there has to be policies in place to change a society like nigeria and i think N100 is a prize worth paying.

amebo no1.:
bridget i have to agree with ladyt here

her marriage wasnt based on love,it was all for papers, he gets his green card and off

yea she might have fallen inlove with him,alot of u akatas do

but the fact is,it is a contract marriage

look for people dat are truly married for love and seek for marital advice

you, na telephone without wire you and karma be. una memory bank na only God know the size. this leilah and bridget show na only nollywood go fit use am. i cant beleive most of the things they come up.

Lsyters:
The Obedient Wife
There was a man who had worked all of his life and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than anything, and just before he died, he said to his wife, “Now listen. When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me, because I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.”

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him. One day he died. He was stretched out in the casket, the wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, “Wait just a minute!”

She had a box with her. She came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Her friend said, “Girl, I know you weren’t foolish enough to put all that money in there with that man.”

She said, “Listen, I’m a Christian; I can’t life. I promised him that I was going to put his money in that casket with him, and that’s what I did.”

Her friend was amazed, “You mean to tell me you put all his money in the casket with him?”

“I sure did,” said the wife. “I wrote him a cheque.”If he can cash it, then he can spend it.'

who be this? are u her?

aus123:
Hauwa u are not serious,

They re very homily and also love strangers.

There is no oita of truth on that

u are from there abi?

my granny used to curse people with may you put other people matter on your head. huxley if you devote this lenght of time study what you think is not right i wonder what you do with what you know to be true.

i pray for you that the light of the gospel of Jesus Christ will flood your heart.

fyneguy:
My dear Kobojunkie

I'm trying so hard not to refer u to commonsense again

The woman was asked if the resignation letter was from her. She said ''No comment''. What do u make of that? If the letter was not from her, do u think she would say ''No comment''?

The most logical thing at the moment is that she was persuaded to stand down her resignation. And if indeed her resignation was borne out of not wanting to compromise her Christian conscience, she must have given conditions for her to finish the task!

Anyway, let's wait for her press conference coming up later in the day.

nigeria and wuru wuru

Iranoladun:
I think the topic should be 'why do bank deduct N100 from your account if you did not use ATM' To the best of my knowledge Oceanic bank does it, UBA, Ecobank, Zenith etc I specifically asked Oceanic bank & their staff told me it is a CBN directive in order to encourage people to use the ATM

thank you. how many fanta kuola N100 dey buy now?