₦airaland Forum

NexLoaded:
It is only God that will punish you for what you are putting this girl into.

Nonsense!!!

Stop blaming the guy only, is the girl a child Is she being raped by op

If you dig deep now, the stvpid girl could be the one throwing herself on the guy.

Olarewaju89:
If someone stays by your side through your worst times, they're the ones who deserve to be with you through your best times.

This is what has led many men into miserable marriages. Meanwhile, only men get such advice o. Ladies are usually praised literally when they dump men even without considering how he had been with her through thick and thin. Even if the man spent his life savings training the lady in school, it doesn't stop the lady from dumping him and the society will applaud her for that.

CatchMeIfUCanMO:
We are not married yet, but planning to do that.

Don't marry any lady out of pity! Don't let anybody guilt trip you because you'll regret it in no distant time

CatchMeIfUCanMO:
Tho the topic doesn't correlate with the content but I don't think women marry out of sympathy or pity, men are the one that does that often.

Exactly! Ladies that are so heartless when they want to dump a guy. It is usually men that allow themselves to be guilt tripped into marrying out of pity.

franchasofficia:
You only focused your advice on ladies, what about the guys?


Don't marry any lady out of pity just because she claimed to stood by you right from when you weren't financially buoyant. She herself was she financially buoyant when she started dating you as a broke man?


She can only lay claim to standing by you from when you were financially broke if and only if she was doing financial better than you and still lowered her standards to accept to date you, love you, assist you financially, psychologically, emotionally, etc till you stood up, only then can you ever consider her as standing by you from the time of your little beginning.



But if her claim to have stood by you from when you were nobody is based on the fact that she being a broke girl herself accepted to date you and only offered you occasional or constant sex and nothing more, my brother never you marry her out of pity because you believe she started dating you right from when you were broke.

You're on point my guy!

YoungLionken:
No, never because it doesn't end well in most cases..

But I know of a man who broke up with his fiancée because of a misunderstanding. After series of serious begging from her and family, he still didn't yield. Only for the lady's father to call him and sent him photos/videos of the lady being hospitalized and persuaded him to come at least visit her. After several thoughts given, he went to visit her in the hospital and saw the sorry state she was. He had compassion on her, started paying frequent visits to her in the hospital. She began to recover eventually and long story short, they're happily married with kids now..

Even me, I once had a serious issue with my gurl for arguing (raised her voice which I don't tolerate) with me. I ended the relationship on the phone. Few days later she called (I stopped taking her calls until she sent me a message on WhatsApp telling me how sick she was with evidence). I went to her house with some medications from the pharmacy. On getting to her house, few moments later, she started doing those things she couldn't do; gaining strength, getting off the bed, etc. So I saw everything and forgave her, we've been cool ever since ..

When a lady loves you with her all, my brother it's a rare blessing. And every of your action affects her mentally, socially and otherwise...

Nonsense! No lady genuinely loves a man. It's all about what she stands to gain from him.

I'll never marry any lady out of pity or forgive her just because she's feigning sickness. This is because no lady ever considers a man out of pity, no matter how much the man has invested in the relationship. Those people are heartless when they want to dump a guy! Somebody you have shown nothing but pure undiluted love but once she wants to jilt you, she'll so humiliate you to the point that you'll start asking yourself where you offended her.

Guys, if you want to dump any lady, don't look back. Go ahead and dump her without any pity because when she wants to dump you, she won't pity you at all. A word is enough for the wise!

stacyadams:
One evening vanguard newspaper dey this thread dey give OP hope to marry evening punch paper.. forgetting say evening newspaper na evening newspaper whether na nation, vanguard or punch

I dey tell you. Evening newspaper na evening newspaper

Rokiat:
You did the right thing well done she needs to get a man that can actually afford her.

I really wish most guys were like this, infact don’t even approach a woman you know is out of your league let her be.

only the very f00lish and useless men who settle for such ladies! Nothing like "she needs to get a man who can actually afford her" because even if she sees such maga, I can assure you the marriage would be short-lived and too problematic. This is because any man who would agree to lavish money on such unappreciative lady is a NEVER-DO-WELL just like the lady and two NEVER-DO-WELLs can never have a successful marriage.

janeedema:
This is one way to increase longevity. People who give birth in their old age tend to live longer as they have kids that keep them on their toes. So they remain vibrant and youthful.

Nonsense talk!

My mom started giving birth at 15 and today she's healthier than you even in her 60s. You ladies would just come up with some fallacious claims in order to rope men into marrying old and worn out women.

Men are the architect of their misfortune in this world. Some weak men (eg Gerald59) are always ready to give women undue advantages in everything. I was flabbergasted the day that nigga I mentioned above blamed men as the cause of the high level of old unmarried ladies. He said that such ladies are unmarried because men failed to kill themselves in a bid to make excess money in order to marry and satisfy the inordinate desires of such ladies for material comfort.

He has also severally blamed black men for high rate of prostitution among black ladies, saying that prostitution exist among black ladies because black men failed to develop black nations. This is despite the fact that we all know that prostitution is the oldest trade which have existed among different civilizations and races of humans and was even recorded in many pages of the Bible. He completely exonerated ladies of all blames even when we know that men and women now enjoy equal opportunities in all spheres of life.

It is weak men like the one I mentioned above who tilt laws in favor of women and against men whilst they also ensure that both gender have equal opportunities in all beneficial areas of life. Such captain-save-a-wh0rees are the problems men have in this world and until men begin to identify and annihilate such weaklings, we'll continue to have all the laws tilted in favor of women and to the detriment of men.

Rubbish!!!

Op, don't settle for an evening newspaper just because you want to have Canadian green card. Most of these ladies, aside being in or near menopause, have destroyed their reproductive systems with series of abortions and infections due to multiple sexual partners. Many of them already have fibroids block their reproductive system, thus they have less chances of giving birth.

Don't say you were not warned!

Klass99:
The other time you were concerned about finding a serious date/relationship with one of your own (a fellow Naija woman) overseas. You've found one now and you're back again with a different dilemma

You are in the obodo where there's far more advanced technology dealing with fertility matters and the ability for early detection of issues if any. Yet, here you are, asking jamb question, when an honest conversation with healthcare experts and medical tests will help you more than NL.

Some of you will migrate and still carry along your warped African mentality and prejudices that never served you well to your new location, how do you expect to build a new life and thrive if you don't let go of un-helpful beliefs?

Smile4me, I thought you had more sense than this. My post is not meant as an insult but you can do better than bringing this to NL. High five that woman for refusing to have a child out of wedlock, she has a good head on her shoulders, before she ends up being part of the single mother statistics.

Do things right if you mean business. I don't know why at your age you should be looking for more than one child sef. You should be glad if you are able to have even one healthy child, women are not the only ones with fertility issues.

Stop typing rubbish here! Age does not affect a man's fertility as much as it does women's! Ned Woko and other men I know are still fathering children even in their 60s. This is how some of you selfish and wicked ladies connive with unscrupulous doctors to accuse men of being the ones with fertility problems.

Hassanmaye:
Haha that gender!

Do you mind them? Very wicked and selfish gender.

ExudeLoveToAll:
It's their choice to develop themselves as they deem fit at their early twenties if they deem fit. What I don't subscribe to is after the socalled 'developing yourself 'You are still not different from the person who chose to accept marriage at her early stage of adulthood.

I still can't get it when some of those ladies who use the escueses of education as a tool to exploring and developing themselves still turn around at the twilight of their sexual market value still looking for men that will help them pay their bills. The question then arises, what then is the essence of education and self development? Why waste your time , resources and mental capacity if you can't use that development to better yourself, family and immediate environment?

It's very pertinent to allow ladies achieve their potentials, encouraging them is vital but I don't support those who negate that time which should have been used to help themselves but as a monumental failure to themselves and the society.

Honestly! The thing is too bad and 95 percent of the so called educated ladies are in that category. They waste their time in school frolicking around in the name of going to school only to come out with no values after losing their sexual appeals.

With such ugly situations as above, I honestly have since stopped subscribing to the idea of girl-child education (except if the girl is exceptionally brilliant) because it ends up ruining more girls than improve them. It's even better for a girl to marry early, at say 16yrs, and stand a chance of giving birth to smart kids than the current situation we have in the country. I know the 'woke' wannabes will not understand what I mean because most of them would rather join the bandwagon of feminist movements than think.

He did well. Who knows how many girls have broken his heart in the past after eating his money. The guy most likely took his revenge on you for all the atrocities your gender caused him in the past.

Like someone said up there, they know how to fvck and most men secretly crave sexually experienced ladies. Forget the pretence some guys display when discussing about such ladies.

This is why Nigeria can hardly change for good. Some senseless Nigerians would defend corrupt leaders on account of tribe, religion etc. Some also take bribes from such unscrupulous leaders and defend them just like this amorphous group is doing.


Nigeria is gone!!!

Raalsalghul:
Rather than being vengeful, why don't you just ignore her?

Revenge is sweet bro

PoliteActivist:
*Politeness*
Love, love, love, like mumu instead of facing facts. That's why we'll always be over you. We are REALISTS!

You're arguing with kids. Many of them won't understand your point because they are still at the fantasy stage of life. Time shall reset their brains!

That's how our ladies keep deceiving themselves and refuse to get married only to wake up when it's too late. That time they'll start looking for whom to vent their frustrations on.

The most annoying part is that they'll start blaming those guys they rejected for some playboys. Of course, the playboys are usually too hot for them to blame, so all the frustrations are directed at the innocent guys who professed genuine love to them but got rejected.

I have one of such 'hanties' on my case at the moment. All the years she was still young and fresh, she kept doing shakara for me. But now, na she dey form wife material for me. No wahala, I go follow am play the game. I go chop am well, but she no go ever see even my glorious 3rd leg. I go help am waist her time now just like the other guys did.

Proserpina:
Most marriage refusals aren't orchestrated by women but family that consists of father and mother where the father is the head.

Sometimes I laugh when people complain of inability to get married due to financial ability when these same people made the rules

Blame shifting as usual! If you as the lady insists on marrying a particular guy, your father and every other person will respect your choice.

Gerrard59:
Well, it is why I have this thread: https://www.nairaland.com/6643241/nigerian-men-failed-women and this one:https://www.nairaland.com/7684230/how-reduce-hook-ups-nigeria

Hookup cannot be eradicated but can be reduced when there is prosperity. People will mention children of the rich who enter the industry, but that is an exception, not the norm. I cannot blame our women for selling their bodies amidst the economic crises in the country. That is how it has been globally ab initio. Then again, even in prosperous societies, hookup still exists. E get one website I saw where one could book babes. Starting rates were about $200 - $400. Even in the UK, I have seen our women charging rates ranging from £150 - £400 for short time. So, hookup will always exist. I have broken it down even to scientific publications.

The bold is not true. Nigerian women/ladies who japa'd to the UK will disagree. If Nigerian men don't want their women to do hookup, they should create a prosperous society for their women to thrive. I read on another thread where a woman got money from Keke hustle to cultivate soybeans only for Fulani herdsmen to raze her entire farmland. The first question I had in mind was: where are/were the men in that community? What are they doing to curtail the demonic antics of Fulani herdsmen? If tomorrow that woman goes into hookup, I cannot criticise her. If she were in Ghana, such would not happen.

The solution dey Nigerian men hand.

P.S. No developed/prosperous society had women at the forefront of development or prosperity.

Stop this rubbish you always spew here!

So, those women who are engaged in other profitable ventures and succeeding in them are not Nigerian women Why must you blame men for the failure of some women to do things right

So armed robbers, kidnappers, fraudsters etc are also justified in choosing such means of livelihood, because many of them have cited failure on the parts of politicians as reasons for engaging in such activities

Men like you are the reason women blame men for everything. Even when they have menstrual pains, they blame men for it.


Rubbish!!!!

Super woman! I like what she did.

The hunter became the hunted

I will never allow my daughter (s) to marry for "love" because that is usually the genesis of the marital problems most women have.

Instead, I'll encourage her to marry for REASONS

Go Naija!

Too bad!

Lays facedown on her man. I like having my woman lay on top of me while I hold her as she sleeps like a baby.

Some guys are just too emotional and I wouldn't blame them for that. That's how they're made by nature. We have a variety of humans with their uniqueness in this world.

So, I wouldn't blame the guy. It is left for the lady to consider what he did wrong and see if she can forgive him or not.

GVTAsiwaju:
What is your point?

My point is that you both (or maybe your ex wife) could have averted the divorce by forgiving and overlooking lots of errors, provided serious bodily harm wasn't getting into the mix.

Franzinni:
mogbe!!!! But not until you are faced with such, it is easy to say anything

A lady who's a good kisser will not fill your mouth with saliva, even if it is French kissing.

If you both (especially your ex wife) understood that marriage requires loads of forgiveness even without being apologized to, perhaps the marriage would have remained intact.


M