₦airaland Forum

Now that election is next year you guys are coming up with funny stories to tarnish his political career abi?

E no go work. ATIKU all the way

Igbo man abi?

Yet they say they want to rule Nigeria.

SMH

ATIKU all the way

Bola146:
Na by force to propose openly

bola146, I want to propose to you in front of all nairaland members.

WILL YOU MARRY ME??

No run comot for line o.

In 2015 a Nigerian politician bought a horse for a race at N100,000

The seller agreed to deliver the horse the next day.

In the morning, he drove up and said: "Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The horse is dead."

The politician replied: "Well, just give me my money back then."

The seller said: "Can’t do that. I’ve already spent it."

The politician said: "OK, then, just bring me the dead horse."

The farmer asked: "What are you going to do with it?"

The politician said: "I’m going to raffle it off to Nigerians as a speed horse that can win the race"

The seller responded: "You can’t raffle a dead horse."

Politician replied: "Sure, I can. Just watch me. You don't know Nigerians, l will post wonderful pictures of a horse, I just won’t tell anybody it's dead. I will market it with propaganda and present him as capable of chasing criminals away"

A month later, the seller met up with the politician and asked: "What happened with that dead horse?"

Politician replied: "I raffled it off. I sold N1M tickets at N2 each and made a profit of N2M

The seller was dazed and asked: "Didn’t anyone complain?"

Politician said: "Just the guy who won. I told him he died on our way to deliver. So, I gave him back his N2 with apology. I told him l have refunded everyone. He consoled me and told me to keep it that am a good man.’ That after all I have suffered a lot of lost. He prayed for me and called on God to bless me. Telling me that Nigeria need honest people like me to come and run for office".

LESSON

The political raffle ticket sellers are back about to sell us another dead horse in 2023, just like they did in 2015.

Mugus will always be mugus.

First fool no be fool,
Second fool na proper foolish.

Totilopussylick:
Ibos are naturally talented in everything they do.

Business A1

Education B2

Engineering jobs A1

Development in generosity A1

Traveling A1

Igbo AMAKA.

What about armed robbery?A1

In 2015 a Nigerian politician bought a horse for a race at N100,000

The seller agreed to deliver the horse the next day.

In the morning, he drove up and said: "Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The horse is dead."

The politician replied: "Well, just give me my money back then."

The seller said: "Can’t do that. I’ve already spent it."

The politician said: "OK, then, just bring me the dead horse."

The farmer asked: "What are you going to do with it?"

The politician said: "I’m going to raffle it off to Nigerians as a speed horse that can win the race"

The seller responded: "You can’t raffle a dead horse."

Politician replied: "Sure, I can. Just watch me. You don't know Nigerians, l will post wonderful pictures of a horse, I just won’t tell anybody it's dead. I will market it with propaganda and present him as capable of chasing criminals away"

A month later, the seller met up with the politician and asked: "What happened with that dead horse?"

Politician replied: "I raffled it off. I sold N1M tickets at N2 each and made a profit of N2M

The seller was dazed and asked: "Didn’t anyone complain?"

Politician said: "Just the guy who won. I told him he died on our way to deliver. So, I gave him back his N2 with apology. I told him l have refunded everyone. He consoled me and told me to keep it that am a good man.’ That after all I have suffered a lot of lost. He prayed for me and called on God to bless me. Telling me that Nigeria need honest people like me to come and run for office".

LESSON

The political raffle ticket sellers are back about to sell us another dead horse in 2023, just like they did in 2015.

Mugus will always be mugus.

First fool no be fool,
Second fool na proper foolish.

Kriss216:
APC don relegate this one to blogger.

he's making fun of the government.

trevolady:
ibadan

too far. How I wish you are in neighboring state.

trevolady:
God bless your home


Check out these indoor slippers,call 0.8.1.6.0.6.8.4.2.8.1 to place order

so cute. Your location pls?

Bola146:
Woah! Congratulations... Happy home

when we go do our own marriage?

Lordedifice1:
Good afternoon Family
What does it mean?
Was chatting with my gf this morning and I asked her to come meet at my house she said NO! That this year no sex that if i can't handle it i should forget about it. Although we had sex last year but this year she just said no.
Well i am not an addict to sex i just told her it's ok that it's been 2months when last we had sex that i can stay away from sex. But its odd anyways and she never discussed anything like this to me she just said it to me this morning.
What do i do guys, because i am thinking of avoiding any form of hug or kiss from her and also thinking of staying on my own.

Experts in the house
Your opinions please

Why are you worrying yourself. Accept her decision and when she ask you for money just tel her NO GIVING OF MONEY THIS YEAR TOO.

EQUATION BALANCE.

QED!!!!

Stacyomolola:
Thank God they already paid ours

who paid yours?

I’m very sorry for not coming online regularly these days�It’s because my iPhone 13 had a problem and my iPad battery is dead� My sister is with my Samsung galaxy S6 Edge. Am just here at home sitting alone since my parents travelled to London�I would have Skyped with you but I misplaced my Apple laptop power pack, so I have to hit south Africa to get a new one� I wanted to visit the mall tonight but my aunt went out with my bugatti and my junior brother is out with the 2022 range rover�My Toyota highlander had a little problem, the tyre of Honda CRV is flat and I hate driving Lexus jeep at night�I tried calling our driver to come and pick me with ma mums Ferrari but no credit in my phone�
Can someone help me with MTN #1000�

Am not begging oo.... Am bigger than that nah ��‍♀️

Barrister026:
My wife left me December 18th during the festive period to her home town, til this moment I haven't had sex. Trust me it hasn't really been easy we can't fight nature.
All the temptations at work and along the roadside when am on wheels my eyes are seeing.

So I decided to visit a popular relaxing spot this evening to while away time, ordered gulder to quench my taste... to my surprise they were girls displaying their markets.

At first I ignored, but body just did me one kind, I signalled one to come sit with me bought her drink and from there ask her how much she charge.

(Which she told me, saying she go do me well)
Then I had a war going on in my mind, hope you know say you be married man?.

Seriously I got married since 2019, I haven't had another lady apart from my wife.


So we went to her room, I gave her money..she was about to pull her top.

I don't know what got into me, I say "hi please don't bother....." She was surprised.

I went outside sweating.... the money I gave her didn't pain me.

What pain me is am so ashamed of myself for even having that thought.

Even though I didn't do the act, I feel like have cheated already for entering her room.

(This feeling didn't come because she's a prostitutes, I know I feel same way if it's a normal lady)

So married men how do you confidently cheat on your wife without remorse?

Guy, how sure are we that you didn't Bleep her? Because you entered her room we all know that as long as you enter there you go must do the do.
No offense Bro, just that its hard for me to believe you.

Correct
Governor Ortom of Benue state attended a Thanksgiving Service in honour of former Governor George Akume in a Catholic church in Benue state yesterday and as the microphone was handed over to him to explain why he has been owing salaries of workers in the state, the parish priest of the Catholic Church, Reverend Father Aswe did not allow the governor to speak, insisting that the governor can only speak at the reception venue and that the church premises is a holy place where lies are not allowed and that he cannot, as parish priest, allow the governor to mount of the church podium and tell lies in the house of God.
Despite several pleas, the Reverend Father refused , and said that the governor has the reception to tell all the lies about salaries.
Chaii
This is what I call CORRECT MAN OF GOD.
This is how it ought to be.
*Not those clergy that will be shaking and throw away all their holiness when they see a politician.*

YOUNGELDER1:
Pythons will soon only be seen on pictures in Nigeria at this rate.

Lalasticlala, encouraged it.

Who get koboko to give me make I flog this man as them dey do for Afghanistan?

God1000:

Lol, I need your assurance that you will treat her like a queen before I grant your request.

you have my assurance 100%

God1000:
lol, after Una don bash me tire abi
I will think about it sha

There's nothing to think about here. You better do it or I come to oju and 2 second everywhere burst. Lol

God1000:
it's a carnival, not igede-Agba

OK. You've been promoting IGEDE people so can you give me one fine IGEDE lady to marry?

Am coming to Texas on 23rd of this month.

God1000:
please don't derial this thread with your hokum, how does this balderdash pertain to my beautiful post? I'm surprised that some deranged people are liking your hateful comment

Is this IGEDE agba? Where was it held? In oju or where? Those street look like Otukpo streets

DannyXpress:
No loud am comrade
I don remember

Bro, happy new year

THE TRUTH ABOUT FALSE- PARTNERS

False partners on the part of
"women",, are women who treat good men like shit and treat players like royalty "Kings", rejecting good men, finding faults with good men,chasing bad guys for spotlight, and end up getting hurt by these bad guys, then complain to their friends or on Facebook that, Men are dogs, etc, when indeed these women are the real dogs themselves.. Their own definition of love is to receive and not give, it's all about them, they are pathetic, careless and selfish,they are uncontrollable,they are
hard to show their true emotions, their interest is not you, but the things around you or valuable things that you have or hold.

While on the part of men,, they treat a good woman like trash, and treat side chics or bad women like queens.. These kind of men are liars, their minds are only focused on draining a good woman's emotion and feelings, these men are vampires, they will suck the living happiness out of a woman, I call them Deceits,, making it look like their women are the problem in a relationship/ Marriage, when in trueness, she aint.. These kind of men only treat their women special on days of pleasure "Sex",, but as soon as that moment is over,it's back to a boredom relationship.. These kind of men are snitches, they will brag to their friends
about getting the cookie always, when it should kept private...
So people, In this newyear,If you know that your relationship/ marriage is as
described here,, either make a change in it, or quit to your own choice..

Enough is Enough of being treated unjust..

DannyXpress:
Ninja ??

Sorry bros
But when be that

Last year na

DannyXpress:
Wicked man
I no want make my hand detach from my body just yet

You too dey fear.

Last tym shebi u tell me say u bi ninja na

DannyXpress:
Yes
I'm planning to leave my present location (somewhere around the north) but i don't know which state to relocate to.

I want any state in Nigeria where i can find Pure Undiluted Virgins
Part of new year resolutions is to befriend a lot of virgins and make them happy.

Nairalanders help me pick a state where i can relocate to and continue my virgin hunting expedition.

Maiduguri or kano. Lol.

AderonkeOlaniyi:
I thought it was Thunder Balogun, the man whose wife told to remember his left leg and when he kicked the ball, it went through his brother's stomach. It was said that his brother was the goalkeeper for the opposing team

....it was said.

Who said it?

I no dey like to hear this kind lie for this new year.

Peaceadebu:
Good morning nairalander and happy new year to you all☺️☺️☺️.
Please someone in Abuja should please take me out today, I will everly be grateful to that person, I don't want what happened on Christmas day to repeat itself please. It's really painful at age 31 I am still extremely single. Please I am tired of boredom and shame����. Please someone reasonable and serious and genuine only should send me a mail so we go out please. I am begging in God's name

Where in abuja do you stay?

I stayed at Rhine street Maitama

Rosement:
After falling deeply in love with a guy, I found out, he was a muslim. He was very nice and caring. His behaviour even changed my view about Muslim guys, it made me believe that most Muslim guys are very nice and caring.

When I found out, he was a Muslim, I still wanted to continue the relationship because I did not want to break his heartbeat but I couldn't because I was young and very scared, I thought about my parent, my doctrine and what a lot of people would say. He kept begging me but there was nothing I could do. He was very different, till today, I have not still forgotten him.

I have not only fall deeply in love with a Muslim girt but dated her fro 7 years. Hadiza Yahaya, wherever you are may God bless you.

NwaNimo1:
Pishure....?

[img]https://media1./images/50ece686047795b20069ac747c596665/tenor.gif?itemid=21110143[/img]

Doubting Thomas.

Danokoje14:
We had just strolled out of the house in my village situated in a remote area of Kogi state, precisely Ibaji local government, when one of my siblings eyes caught this slicky thing...Lo and behold,a green snake...Omo,na so I 'japa'...but , come to think of it, what kinda snake is this...I really want to know because it's common here.....Lalasticala...I hail oh...

Looks like mamba