₦airaland Forum

I may be moving to Kuje in Abuja sometime next year and just want some idea of the place and its environs from nairalanders familiar.
In terms of security, schools (secondary), roads , easy public commute into Abj central, culture etc

I understand theres stable electricity there.

Any input will be helpful please

To own a house in abuja

Sorry for your loss however, let his wife bury him according to how she wishes to. You may offer suggestions but please dont be too forward.

i remember reading your initial post seeking help for your brother and i felt really sad of the state of the health system....then you went quiet and resurfaced and explained your absence over been duped and incarcerated and my heart just sank for you.
I felt the helplessness in you especially when you were looking to even sell your phone though you needed it, i am grateful to God for life and for your family.
the good works he has begun will only get better and permanent in jesus name

I see you deleted your 2nd post that - cooking your local dishes and attending your towns meeting is of most importance to you........

Oga if your culture and native dishes were important to you. You should have married from your village.
There are things you raised which i feel should be of more concern to you than culture and food.
Been married for almost a decade and half, oga does the laundry but i do it most - washing machine.....he always drys the clothes , i NEVER do

We are from different tribes as well. Oga doesnt believe in towns meeting etc , neither do i.

The HIV thing is no biggie as science has made conception easier with little risks of transmission of the virus to a spouse or child. So whilst i commend you for sticking, what you have done isnt something unusual. It happens alot.

You are struggling financially to meet your responsibilities yet you are actively cheating. Oga, hope madam can also cheat to meet up where you are lacking as a husband.

If you want to end the marriage pls do.because you married her despite her health challenges doesnt mean she should hv no say or feelings over her life. If you dint marry her, someone else would have. She doesnt owe eternal gratitude to you because of marriage.

Stick to your slay queens or get an uneducated, unexposed has no intention to ever be exposed kind of wife that will cook you swallow with different village soups for breakfast, lunch and dinner . The type that will leave you on the weekends to attend village women's meeting from morning till night. Those ones that will mix with experienced retired ashangbas at the umunna meetings and get tutellage on how to be a coded runz wife......but it shouldnt matter to you, After all you ll get your village soups on demand and a wife who will carry big basin and soak to handwash your clothes as the village prince that you are

Oga, welldone for all the work you do as a child to your parents.
However, at 21 you are still reliant on your parents, your siblings are in boarding school, your parents are obviously noy very well off hence can only afford to grind at odd hours of the night in order to save resources to continue supporting you in school.
In saner societies, you will be fending for yourself, schooling, feeding, accomodation etc
I feel whilst its inconvenient commuting to sch from home, staying up to grind at odd hours, its a small sacrifice to pay and you should ahow some gratitude to your family for supporting your dreams.

Look around several threads here on this platform and you ll see lots of nairalanders who's parents do not support them in anyway......be grateful and stop been entitled

Control7:
I don't know how best I can answer your initial questions but he left Nigeria with Italy visa, from Italy he applied for the UK visa and every other document. He has been in UK for more than three years. That's the best info I have.

What visa did he apply to get into the UK, what visa did he renew whilst in the UK. How old is he and what type of Job did he do whilst in the UK
Italian visas are schenghen visas and the UK isnt part of the Schenghen countries

Control7:
Same way I found it difficult to believe but that is the whole truth not forgetting the part I mentioned Misunderstanding between them which made the Uncle seize his travelling document seeking a refund.

I replied your PM but you never came back with any details op

terpenoid:
My grand dad is having difficulty eating with a spoon or writing recently,his hand tend to be shaky whenever he is eating and sometimes the food will finally land on the table or ground due to his shaky hand. I know we have nurses and doctors here who may have encountered such illness from a patient previously because I'd really need your help on what drugs to buy to stop this shaky hand..thanks

You cant buy drugs. Take him to see a neurologist. It might be parkinsons or other degenerative illnesses. Its likely he wont get better but the treatment will slow the progress of the disease.

Unfortunately, thats the full cycle of life

Control7:
They came to Nigeria together, even as we speak the Uncle is still in Nigeria planning to go back and still has the documents with him.

Oga start by been honest with your self and with us then perhaps we can accurately advise you
1- What visa did you leave Nigeria with when you initially left
2 - How long have you spent in the UK
3 - What visa do you currently hold
4 - How old are yo
5 - What type of work did you do in the UK and how many hours do you work per week, how much are you paid .
If you dont want to answer, then PM me, i may be able to advise you offline

My hubby has never given me a reason to mistrust or doubt his faithfulness.
We have been married over a decade and he is over a decade older than i am yet he worships me.
Like bukatyne has said, ur girl either has serious trust issues or ur action is that of one with poor boundaries in a relationship

If only this woman can be as dedicated to her job in improving the relationship between the police force and the public as much as she butts into affairs that her opinion isnt sought nor needed, perhaps the public faith in the NPF will be positive

yemisolar:
The first question to ask is, is there an active friction/quarrel between them? If there is, you should make active move to placate the two of them. If not then your wife is in the wrong.

Think of it this way, if your mother didn't raise you and give you education you wouldn't be there for her to marry. After all your mother's investment, she came and 'took' you. The least she could do is at least to go the extra mile is communicating with her. It doesn't have to be a long conversation. Just general greeting is okay.

Also, how would you feel if (God forbid) your mother dies suddenly and you know she has not spoken with your feet in 4 months? How would you feel if tables were turned and your (wife's) son in-law does the same?

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying your child Should be subservient to your mother. Relationship cannot be forced but courtesy demands that she doesn't wait for your mother to call before contacting her.

.
Oga his mum isnt more special than his wife's mum. Her mother also suffered to raise her to become somebody. I am sure that even in marriage, her mum is still supportive of her

IamEmem:
Good morning Married folks, I have a question for the married men.

If your mother complains that your wife have not called her in 4months
You confront your wife and she confirms in affirmative and her reason is that your mother have never called her or even "flash her" claiming that she only return call of those who care about her, she is even aware that your mother don't work and due to financial burden u have not sent money to your mother in months.
Meanwhile, you call her mother and elder brother (father figure) regularly without waiting for their calls.
In this case what would you do? Married women do you think she is right?

Oga your inlaws also call you. They return your calls - thats the difference between your wife and Mum. Your mum has NEVER returned ur wife's call......eventually you ll get tired of calling people who dont call u.
It doesnt matter u havent sent money to ur mum because when you were sending money, ur mum still didnt call her so it makes no difference

for her to carry stew with her, shes obviously hungry. Perhaps she was been starved under your care

I am looking for an uncompleted 3 or 4 bed in abuja to buy. I will prefer to deal with the buyer directly. I am interested in Karu, Lugbe, Kubwa, Apo resettlement areas.

rOsy247:
Not in all cases. So many marriages have been saved with these. [/b]Talking from experience[b]. Secondly, from the op's post her hubby is not in that category at least yet. The strange woman is only trying hard to appeal to his heart, so now is the right time to fulfill her role even more and please don't discourage her.

Agreed some men are chronic cheats. That's why I said at the end that she should do her own part so no blame goes to her. Then leave him to God and his conscience to handle. Even when a man/woman has no conscience, U can't underestimate the power of God fighting your battle. If you don't believe that God can do that, a lot of us do and it's working for us personally. No matter how hard you fight ur hubby or the woman he's cheating with, twill make no difference. Twill even worsen the situation. God's battle is the best ever.

How many years experience if i may ask?

rOsy247:
Not in all cases. So many marriages have been saved with these. Talking from experience. Secondly, from the op's post her hubby is not in that category at least yet. The strange woman is only trying hard to appeal to his heart, so now is the right time to fulfill her role even more and please don't discourage her.

Agreed some men are chronic cheats. That's why I said at the end that she should do her own part so no blame goes to her. Then leave him to God and his conscience to handle. Even when a man/woman has no conscience, U can't underestimate the power of God fighting your battle. If you don't believe that God can do that, a lot of us do and [/i][/b] it's working for us personally[b][i]. No matter how hard you fight ur hubby or the woman he's cheating with, twill make no difference. Twill even worsen the situation. God's battle is the best ever.

You have earned the ultimate prize my dear. Be proud of your community peniss of a horseband please. Dont be shy

rOsy247:
Not all husbands are community penis like yours and probably your dad. So don't use what's prevalent in your family to generalise on people you don't know. We have great husbands with dignity and mine is one. If you drown your pillow with tears, I don't and will never cos there's no need for it and will never be. Remain in your misery while clamouring for equality with a man that should be your head.

Madam Mrs Horseband, are you pained or ashamed to admit that your only achievement and self worth admiration is been marriedb to a community peniss? Abi you have forgotten what you wrote in the first page how you "fought and prayed" for your husband's conscience to prick him when his wandering blokos took over instead of you[s][/s]to remind him of his vows and lay down your boundaries with him as women married to faithful men do[s][/s] you didnt do, but as the virtuous wife that you is nah, the defender of the happy wives of community penisse association and the gate keeper of the 'i will remain married even if my unfaithful horseband brings home HIV/Hep B or HPV infection", you rather used your story as an example to encourage another women whos husband is been tempted and seeking counsel to allow him cheat .

rOsy247:
At all. Got a lot on my hands to do than waste it on unhappy bitter women trying to form equality with their husbands. Check into their history, they are divorcees, unhappily married, bitter spinsters or the male in their marriages. I pray the op avoids these set. Wish her all the best.

And you that is happily married with your community peniss of a horseband, wehdone, married woman to a man whos heart and blokos belongs to many but issokay, after all you got the ring, you got the honour of being in the house praying that your horseband has pity on you and eats ypur food so he can gathrr enough strength to satisfy his numerous babes all around.
Some people genuinely believe there are no faithful husbands so they actually drown their pillows in tears whilst canvassing for more women to remain in the unhappy shackles they have found themself

So i had this dream, my aunt arranged for me to get married to a guy who in the dream is a cousin. I was against it however after a while i agreed to the marriage.
PS - in my place, cousins can get married to each other as long as they are not 1st cousins and in the dream this guy isnt my 1st cousin.
Anyhoo, marriage date was set and communicated to me but i didnt see the wedding invites. My other cousins came to get me for the wedding attire fittings and what not and in the process i saw the wedding invites and it wasnt my name on the invitation but someone else's.
Groom then appeared and explained the name ish didnt matter as both our families knew we were both getting married.
I then started to question groom why he wants 2 marry me, especially knowing I had no interest or feelings for him. My aunt wasnt happy that i was trying to discourage the marriage from taking place (same aunt who set up the marriage ish - this aunt by the way really dislikes me simply cos my mum wasnt her preferred choice of a wife for my dad)
My cousins were more interested in the glam affair of the day than anything else and everyone seemed excited and looking forward to the day...i then woke up.

Ps - i am married wt children in real life

Shed more light pls

Is it normal for a Fiance to see his fiancee as his sexual object?

Neither

Realife4u:
There are currently 3 guys in my life am not sleeping with the three of them but am studying all to know which one to finally agree to for, so hopefully you guys can advice me right.
The first one is an advance man, he works in an oil firm, he is kind hearted, not hot tampered, extremely neat and gives cash freely when he has cash but the problem with him is this: he is a womanizer. one several occasions he said that if he eventually get married and his wife offends him so bad, he will go out and spend 3 days with his girlfriend. This one wants me to get pregnant for him.

The second one has a very tiny stature plus he is short, works in a small firm and receives small salary, he does forex in a small way. he lives with his parent in the same house. This one has come to know my parent, he quickly wants me to come and meet his people so they can access me but I obliged to go
Ones reason I didn't go is because even as @ now that we are dating although not sleeping with him, he tells me that there are times when he goes clubbing over night with his female colleague. And he said if his wife offends him, he will go to his friends place and stay for one to two weeks before he will come back, its only his mother that can soften his heart to come back home.

The third one lost his job and needs me to borrow him cash to repair his car so he can start running taxi in town while venturing into sales also. This one is caring. He stays with his grand mother and takes care of her. He has a distant girlfriend who is currently serving and according to him they are not so close because of distance plus she said she is not ready for marriage now but wants to work for two years first before marriage.
This one does not see anything wrong in having a concubine. This one said he will not sleep out if offended but will discipline his wife with his tongue if she misbehaves. And if he gets married, his grand mother continues to stay with him and wife.


So guys what do you think? Whom do you think is a good fit for me considering the fact that am naturally a jealous person? Do you think anyone of them is a husband material?

Neither

Maybe she feels undervalued at home or at work. Perhaps she feels a disconnect with the children, perhaps shes at a phase where mentally, she needs a time out and the additional stress of a job may be detrimental.
Its not always about money when a loved one is concerned - as a spouse, spend a weekend pampering her, giving her foot massages, hanging around the kitchen whilst she cooks, if you have kids, take the kids out whilst she sleeps, dont start stressing or expecting sexx in return, at the end of day 3 - have a chilled conversation with her after watching a movie, just the 2 of you - casually asking her why she wants to give up her job.
Listen to her, LISTEN not hear, dont interrupt her, when shes done then ask her questions in an engaging manner, not in an authoritative or argumentative way......there in lies what you seek

StPete:
I wonder whether your husband won’t feel slighted if he sees this.

You should only feel slighted if you cover 100% of the bills, irrespective of your circumstances.

please have some decency and stop posting corpses online. Some nairalanders will find out about the death of their loved ones online at this rate.
How would you feel if your corpse is sprawn across the net, with no dignity just because someone wants to score some cheap points with lazy journalism/blogging. Please have some respect for the dead and give their corpses some dignity PLEASEEE

She can initiate both the legal and traditional divorce process.
Once those processes have been initiated she can start a new relationship. Its not adultery because a separation processhas legally begun.
If the divorce is due to violence or fraud ( misrepresented whom he is prior to marriage/lied he s employed/didnt disclose medical or financial hardships) yoy will get legally divorced within a year.
But can you date, yes you can. You just cant get married till u r divorced. Same with the man.
However it will be more responsible if u hv initiated ur divorce, tht way the clock starts ticking but also any new intended boo, will see that u r taking steps to end all ties

I have bale direct from the UK. Children's clothing that i personally selected

They need to buy foodstuffs, cook soup, refil gas and pay for Nepa which is often around 5 - 9k a month.
Breakfast lunch and dinner for 3 grown adults + 1 child.

My question is , is 70k sufficient a month for the above in abuja

70k for feeding