₦airaland Forum

Madam since ur marriage is still intact and it appears (from ur write up), the temp separation is caused by circumstances and ur hubby is infact in the village; why not relocate back to join him with the kids??
Instead of remaining in Lagos subjecting ur kids to unnecessary hardship?
According to you, a good samaritan housed you for a month, then paid yout rent for a year. In the 1 year free rent timeframe, you havent been able to sustain yourself and your kids, they still aint in school either.....its unlikely you will make a successful career out of handouts.
People also have their own challenges and no matter how much they support you, eventually they ll get tired. I am sure alot of us who have commented here have someone like you within our family/social circles with similar challenges and we would rather channel our support to those individuals.

Go back with your kids to the village to meet your hubby, atleast they ll be food for them their, free shelter and free education plus you ll get to live with your hubby and kids as a single unit. alot of the stress you are going thru in Lagos will be minimised.

Lagos isnt for everyone and just because it appears you havent succeeded in Lagos doesnt make you a failure. Re-evaluate your life and move to start afresh.

*BUHARI'S SECURITY POLICY*

Shiite? Shoot dead!

IPOB? Shoot dead!

Ballot box snatchers? Shoot dead!

Niger Delta militants? Shoot dead!

Herdsmen terrorists? Well, accommodate them by giving up your lands to avoid them murdering you and pray about it, hopefully they may stop someday.

Boko Haram? Catch them alive, grant amnesty, rehabilitate and reintegrate them into the society.

Are you still in doubt about Buhari's personality and preferences?

Baba bhet boya you are slacking in the bedroom naa.

You have to up your game and pray for your marriage oh. God hates divorce and the devil is seriousy attacking marriages

Imagine , your wife is stil commanding heavy spenders and toasters after over 30years in marriage, if you divorce her now another man will wife her up before christmas.
You better up your game, start eating healthy, working out, dropping it hot in the bedroom at all times, stop tying wrapper whilst eating chewing stick with white singlet at home.....dress sexy and be appealing so that you can be attractive to her.

*BUHARI'S SECURITY POLICY*

Shiite? Shoot dead!

IPOB? Shoot dead!

Ballot box snatchers? Shoot dead!

Niger Delta militants? Shoot dead!

Herdsmen terrorists? Well, accommodate them by giving up your lands to avoid them murdering you and pray about it, hopefully they may stop someday.

Boko Haram? Catch them alive, grant amnesty, rehabilitate and reintegrate them into the society.

Are you still in doubt about Buhari's personality and preferences?

I do not believe the OP is a scammer however i do believe she needs some sort of help because shes struggling. I have followed her posts for a while and she has always been a beggar.
Infact, there was a time i researched her down to her FB profile, i know her names are Florence something, she does have a third username where she was pleading for people to gift her learning dvd's (if i recall correctly) to help home school her children as they had been out of school for a while due to financial difficulties.

My only issue with her is an entitlement and enablement behaviour. Its clear things havent been rosy with her for a while, yet you keep birthing children into an environment where you can barely feed/shelter or cater to yourself BUT you feel it is GOD that gives children and he WILL provide for the child when its comes.
When the child is here, you now start using the child as a means to beg and solicit for help rather than work.

As someone pointed out in one your many threads op, your hubby cannot claim to be down from financial challenges yet have an erection. But if you are one of those women who believes you should shag whenever, please use contraceptives!! Its less than 500 naira which i believe is less than the cost of a pamper. There's the implant which lasts a minimum of 3 years and the coil which can last upto 5 years. What is wrong with you people, bringing kids to suffer in this world unnecessarily? Anyway i digress

Anyone who wants to assist the op should but i would rather any assistance provided to her should NOT be monetary, rather if you can get her a job as a help/clearner/administrative staff (depending on her qualifications), get the husband a job as a driver, gateman, admin staff (since he appears happy to allow his wife do all the hard work in sourcing for food, shelter whilst he comes and climbs on the mountain at night - because its his God given right as the brideprice payer)

Thank you, i am referring to social services not carers

Please does anyone have the contact details for child welfare in Nassarawa state? Preferably the Mararaba, Gwandara axis please drop it in the comment section

Please can someone give me an idea on the costs for the following

Complete bath set - Bath tub, WC, wash hand basin for 3 toilets and bathrooms

Complete Kitchen Cabinet -

Kitchen Sink - i want quotes for a ceramic and then for stainless steel

Sturdy high gate and a separate quote for a gate with a side door/entrance

Please dont ask me to email you, i just want to get ideas to prep my self as my project is almost at that stage.

Location is Airport side axis, Abuja

Please what about Shadadi in Kuje

APC are working really hard to rig this election cos they know they have been incompetent

Which series do u want and i can share web links you can stream or download if u may

Your child has been supported since birth by her grandparents.
They DAILY provide shelter, feeding, clothes and education for her yet you are on a sosha media doing instagram daddy, buying ribena, biscuit and indomie once in 2 years and you think that makes you a daddy??


Whether you are in good terms with the mothet or not, your child will eat everyday, her diapers will be changed everyday, the house will need electricity and she will use water to bath, drink , for her clothes to be washed.
She ll need vaccines, coughs and colds which children often contract need to be treated yet you are sitting on your high horse, as a proud anambra man: complaining that they didnt respect you.
Please does respect pay those bills above?

Why didnt you use your highly regarded state respect to pay her delivery bills in hospital? Or use it for her feeding?

Did you take over paying her tuition in the Sept following April she started sch since your gross is the timing?

Have you bern supporting financially with bank records to proove it monthly since she was born? Or because the mother didnt dance to your tune as the self crowned Anambra Prince that you are , a child you call your own should starve and be homeless cos daddy aint happy with mummy and her grandparents?

Oga go and see your lawyer ohh, cos you have a long way to go and proof before you ll be considered fit enough for joint physical custody

In very practical i cannot believe people here are berating the mother for asking for 20k a month upkeep for a child. Thats around #600 naira a day.
This same man will remarry even before the divorce is legally finalised and start sprouting children with the new wife and people will support him.

When i keep hamping on women having "only" the number of children they can "solely" provide for people tag me as a bitter unsubmissive wife.
I speak based on my experience as well as experiences of others i grew up seeing and still see.

You cannot birth 2 children on 40k a month because 1) its not good to have just 2 shildren, 2) your friend had 7 children and is on 30k a month 3) your family, u used to born plenty shildren, 4) you dont like family planning or ur horseband dinor support family planning 5) you want to solidify your leg inside your horseband house 6) you are looking for boy shild as is only girl u born 7) age is nor on your side and many many other excuses we like to give ourselves

You dont know if the person on 40k a month with 12 children is been supported financially by friends and family. You dont know what may become of your marriage tomorrow. Nobody gets married hoping to divorce in the future but life happens.
fact is no matter how long you date an individual you may never really know your spouse till you have been married to them for a while. In my own case, my father's income could look after the entire family and then our hundreds of relatives who were constantly living with us.
Then he died, but like i always say, thank GOD mumsy was working. A job she took because of strong head + wanting to avoid constant drama with inlaws who were always around.

Other family friends who suffered the same fate with my mum in that plane crash have never really recovered. Their husbands were the same rank as my dad, earning the same but their financial situ's were different for several reasons.

Abeg, madam go to social welfare and let them decide. Dont allow anyone here tell you otherwise because GOD forbid you are stuck with welfare and come to beg on this same forum. The same people discouraging and calling you names now will ask you to paste your bank statement and demand you explain each of your expenses and whether they are infact necessary before they give you 3k.

Blazing12345:
please fams in the house how can I go about this. my ex took our two kids away aged 7 and 9 and has refused me access to the kids, blocked my lines and other accounts for months now.

We are yet to be officially divorce but I still want to get access to the kids even if it through phone calls. please how do I go about this?

lawyers your inputs are needed here?

Go to courf and file a joint custody order. He will be served and then attend court.
Dont go broadcasting your move cos if he/she knows, they may change base and then it ll be difficult to locate Nd serve them

Nope

Women please buy as many properties as you canin your SOLE name. , buy in your full names please. MRS titi Abubakar not Mr and Mrs Abubakar.....they may be a second Mrs Abubakar in the future, like Jennifer is also Mrs Abubakar.

Whether the man you are married to supports, agrees or is even aware is irrelevant. Buy it ohhhhh.
I have been married for almost 15years to a truly wonderful man who is also VERY imperfect in many ways!!!

Dont buy in your brothers name cos you areonly enriching your brother and his own immediate family.

I have seen and will see more to validate my views. I have assets in my name alone and infact, only tell hubby after purchasing. But i also have a will that indicates all my estate to my children.


Dont listen to any inlaw, pastor or Imam that says otherwise rather speak with wives who have atleast a decade of marriage lessons in them.

If you are married to an egoistic dream killer that believes you acquiring properties will make his blokos shrink, please buy without his knowledge, take your documents and keep in the bank for storage!! Keep buying and preserving the docs in the banks vault.
Dont allow him pressure you to add his name to your property, if he so desperately wants a propertt he should buy

Proway:
*WHO IS A HUSBAND AND WHAT IS HIS ROLE?*
~ _Rev Chris Oyakhilome Ds.c DD_

Husband does not mean the male partner in a marriage, husband means master.

The reason for most problems in Christian marriages is the fact that women refute God’s definition of marriage and form theirs. They believe they are equal partners.

If most women had their fathers bold enough to talk to them, they will be very successful in their marriage and they will be very happy people. Most women have never been taught by their parents, their fathers particularly and that’s their biggest problem because they don’t know who a man is, they think he is another woman.

In marriage, you have the man who is the head of that union and because he’s the head of that union, its important to understand him. You think he’s the one that needs to understand his wife and that is where you are wrong. He will eventually but you have to know the type of man you are married to and his needs.
When you say you are marrying a man, you are coming under his authority. The Bible says, the man is the head of the woman (1 Corinthians 11:3) so when you marry him you come under his authority, you are not authority sharers even though you are both heirs to the kingdom of God.

When you decide not to subject yourself to that authority, you are a rebel and God is not going to accept what you are doing because you are not functioning correctly. Why did God make the woman?
Making woman was not God’s original plan because after God created Adam and before He made Eve, He said in Genesis 1:31 “Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good”. God made woman because of man so woman was not His original idea. This is reality.

Genesis 2:18a “And the Lord God said “for it is not good for a man to be alone..” The Bible didn’t say “lonely” but “alone”. There is a big difference. Man wasn’t lonely but alone. Genesis 2:18b “…I will make him an help meet”. He didn’t say a partner or a supervisor or a special advisor or someone to tell him what to do.
I will make him someone to help him. God gave man a responsibility so woman was made to help man achieve that responsibility. If this is understood in every home then you won’t have problems.

I tell people that you don’t need a marriage seminar, you need the Word Seminar. Let me tell you, no husband wants another mother, he has had one all his life. He doesn’t want an older sister, he probably had one.
Your secret is in obedience, your secret is in listening to your husband, your secret is in doing the things that please him. When you don’t do the things that please him, you take the role of a mother or of an older sister.

A man loves the one he serves (God) and the one that serves him (a good wife). He fights the one that wants to be at the same level with him (a rebellious wife).
To be happy in your family and home is the easiest thing in the world, just take your role. Take your place. That place that God gave you is a beautiful place. Its a place of peace. Its a place of love. It’s a place of excellence.

Every wise person listens to wise voices (advice) but he listens to a wise voice that is presented wisely.
Everyone rebels against the voice that is trying to make a fool out of him. When you want to correct your husband, don’t lord it over him,present it as a wise suggestion. Humble yourself and be smart.

A wise woman will always be an influence to her husband, the foolish one will always annoy the husband, make him mad, make him angry and when you make him angry, you will be the victim. Learn to listen to your husband, practice it, tell yourself that you are going to do it because that is where your beauty is.

Once you stop listening, your beauty evaporates. You wonder why you are dressing and he can’t see it, he doesn’t remember your last hair style. Beauty is in obedience. That’s where the Glory is.

Balderdash!! People should learn to read their bible's themselves. If KGV is to Shakespearen in language for you pls pick up NIV or GNV thats written in simpls English for a better understanding.
Your pastor isnt using a "special" bible from urs. Its the same!!

Dont allow someone (in the name of spiritual head/pastor/father) sow words into ur life that can potentially ruin you

Can someone please advise the following
cost per block in Abuja
which block is better, stone dust or sand?
when building, is it better to dig your borehole first and make your blocks or do borehole last?
Whats the cost to build/sink a borehole in abuja?
Average costs or gates in abuja

alBHAGDADI:
A woman's place is in the home just as a fish's place is in the water, but una no go hear.

Every woman wants to work and earn her money without knowing the much damage such is doing to her family especially the kids. You leave your kids at the mercy of a maid who might be possessed or simply wicked just because you want to be civilized and make your own money. That's why kids of today lack home training and are becoming horrible creatures. Look at all the young girls becoming twerkers on Instagram and running after Yahoo boys which the young boys have become.

A working wife doesn't only create problems for their kids but also for themselves. That's why many wives of today are looking ugly and old due to the stress at work. You wake up as early as 5am to beat traffic which you still meet. You stay cramped up in a dirty bus sweating with different people with germs only to get to work and still be ordered around by your boss in ways your husband can't even try. By the time you are 35, you are already looking like a 50 year old and unattractive. This can make the husband to start cheatin with campus girls. All of these for the love of money which never brings happiness.

Yes, I quite understand that some families need the woman to be working so as to support the husband, but it is wise to get a job close by and very conducive. And when you get that job, don't go chasing career or you will hurt your loved ones. Aspiring to be the MD or the GMD will only make you neglect your wife duties. A Husband is suppose to eat his wife's food, not a maid's. Same maid gets maltreated by these frustrated wives who are living a confused life. That job makes you neglect yourself, your kids, your Husband and God.

The sad part is that most of these ladies were raised by mothers who devoted time for them and sacrificed ambitions that would have made them selfish.

Since you've gotten the job, whatever it gives you be it positive or negative, just face it till you realize that career chasing and ambitions that make your family suffer is not worth it.


1 Timothy 6:9-11 (KJV)
9 But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.
10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
11 But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.

Oga dont twist the bible to suit your myopic views please. If the man provided comfortably for his wife, she wont have to work. If the man wasnt such a broke ass, he would open a business of his wife's preference closer home, where she is her own boss and that limits the stress she undergoes as well as allows her more time for the kids.
If we go with your analogy, any wife could divorce her husband on the basis that he cannot fend for his family after all the bible says I Timothy 5:8 - "But if any provide not for his own, especially for those of his own household, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel
Its not the woman's sole responsibility to raise the children. Its a joint responsibility by the couple

Finally, no matter how rich or poor you are/may be, its a foolish decision to have a housewife or poorly paid teacher/admin staff as a wife (for a lifelong career).
What if you die? how does the family survive on her 18K pm salary? especially after you have birthed 3 or 4 children with her? My dad died when i was barely 7, thank GOD my mum had a career and a good paying job to shoulder the responsibilities of the family.
It was a well publicised national disaster that claimed my father's life. Sadly, today, several families like mine who lost their breadwinner at that incident havent recovered. Some of the children dropped out of school and were never able to go back, some other families, their kids were sent as helps to people's homes where they were subject to all sorts of abuse.
So please miss me with the bullshiiitt!!, quoting bible to justify your archaic views!!
How about you also quote the bible that says though shall not commit adultery, abi is that not in the 10 commandments? Exo 20: 14 Thou shall not commit adultery so since when is a man allowed to sleep with another woman because his wife did not sleep with him?

Prov 31 talks of a hard working woman who works whilst looking after her home. Even buying vineyards (investments) and she gets national praise/award for her work - Is it from your kitchen or from her career that she gets the award
vs 31: Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
vs 24 : She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.
vs 16 - 18 : She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable
please show me where the bible says a woman shouldnt work.!!

It depends on the jobs of the spouses. Early on in my marriage i was home with our 1st child. from 9 months old (when i resumed work) , i left early to work, dropped the lo with the childminder till ans picked him up till he started regular sch.
Oga was responsible for getting lo ready for sch from 3yrs - 9yrs. He bath, fed wore his clothes and diapers etc dropped him in sch in the morning because hes work was more flexible whilst i picked lo from sch after work.
When lo turned 10yrs, we got him a phone, he got on the bus and will ring/text once he got to sch and then i pick him up from sch.

However with lm, oga has become busier now so i work part time and do the sch runs then work. But at the weekends, Oga is responsible for the kids 100% whilst i do the cooking, laundry....oga dries the clothes and I iron them. He makes the bed cos i am rubbish in makings beds, he washes the bathroom and toilets whilst i do the kitchen cleaning and food shop
Its all about division of labour, mutual understanding and love for one another. We have done this over 15years and Oga is a decade older than i am.

But if you are married to an archaic patriarchal type of spouse who believes that his job is to shag you, drop money, eat food and snore then sorry na im get you

NB
Rather than spending time doing housechores in your boyfriend's house, showing how much of a wife material you are, sit down and have these conversations to avoid stories that touch the anuss in marriage. Discuss finances, number of children, domestic roles, views on househelps/relatives visitings because trust me, when the cake and jollof rice you ate from the wedding party has digested, reality will hit and resentment may set in.

No matter what you do, pls DONT remortgage your home and DONT give out your life savings. DONT!!!

you could become incapacitated tomorrow and your earnings affected, this could greatly impact your ability to keep up your payments and might result in you loosing your home.
Its a herculean task saving £5K in the UK much more loaning £20k.

Dont allow your parents guilt trip or bully or coerce you into going further in debt.
£20k is a verrrrrruyyyyyyy huge amount to loan and unfortunately your parents have a track record of not honouring their debts to family.
Besides, the number one rule with money is NEVER LOAN AN AMOUNT YOU CANNOT DO WITHOUT IF NOT REPAID.

But the CPM woman is also lying. That pic is infact from the dunamis giveback to widows and IDPs which took place shortly after the dedication of their 70000 or 100000 seater church

raymondFirstborn:
keepingmum
we can help you with the 3D model for the 3bedroom bungalow. contact 09056082348(call & whatsapp)

i might need to have a look at the existing building before commencing or you take a picture of the building & send to us.

Ok ur email pls

Whom can i contact to get a 3D model for a 3bed bungalow? Does the site hv to be seen first beforehand?
Its on a 50 x 50 land and was acquired as an uncompleted building.....the roofing, fencing et al isnt done yet

Check with your son that he isnt sodomizing your son.....there are clues in your post thats caused the hairs on my back to rise........

1 Peter 3 : 7

[/b]Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.[b]
If you maltreat your wife, your prayers wont be answered. No matter how hard you pray or how hard you force your wife to pray for you and "your success".

Eph 5: 25 -33

5[b][/b]Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her [/b]
26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 
27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.
[b] 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—[/b]
If you cant beat yourself, nor stand to be abused or insulted or disrespected by anyone, why do you feel your wife should be subjected to the same and not complain??

 30for we are members of his body. 
31“[b][/b]For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” [b]
Its not the woman that leaves her family but rather the man leaves his family and forms a family unit with his wife. Why men continually subject their wives to stress and unhealthu environment caused by inlaws is still a mystery to me. You know ur mum or folks detest your wife yet you ll insist on your folks moving in to make trouble with your wife.

c 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 
33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

money121:
Yeah flat roof design is okay but the suitable roofing sheet for it is Longspan.. 0.55mm thickness
You can add me on WhatsApp 08085310359 for more enquires

Ok will do

This guy's arrogance and ego will be the bane of him

Oga money121, i am currently building a bungalow on a 50 by 50 land and due to my budget constraints, my engineer suggested flat roofing instead of the regular triangle one.
Can you please share your unbiased views on the flat roofing please.
I am also an sdk BV oh

Sorry if this question has been asked before but i cant find it anywhere.
Please what is the difference between a flat roof and normal roof. The advantages and disadvantages of the flat roof.
I am building a 3bed bungalow in abj and because my budget is limited, my engineer suggested a flat roof.
I just want as much info to be able to make an informed choice pls. This is my first structure so any help/advice pls

StPete:
This is what you get when you snoop around. Give me one good reason why you checked his phone when you knew you didn’t have the heart to withstand the outcome of your findings?

Right now, you shouldn’t bother your head too much about whether he’s denying or not. As long as he’s providing your needs and taking care of the family, just channel your heart and emotions to something more meaningful. As much as it hurts, it’s safe to say you shouldn’t dwell too much on it. The more you do, the more it hurts and the more it causes rifts between you two. And trust me, nagging him won’t make him stop. It’ll only make him device a more tactical means to cover his tracks.

Madam, according to the above analogy, get yourself a side boo. Preferably one with a bigger dickk than ur community pennis horseband.

One who splurge on you anyhow.... in the meantime, dont relent with your wifey duties. As oga is providing for the house, continue cooking and cleaning the home.
Lock your phone and font share thd password
When he calls his side hoe, you call your side boo.
Since, its clear ftom your write up that cheating isnt a deal breaker for you, learn not to love wholly nor trust wholly.....it ll help you in marriage.