₦airaland Forum

Let me put the QUESTION: What would you do, if "Your Wife Demands that you cook"?

Simple question, simple answer, abegii!

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Baby mama: Table leg,yomieluv,mr knowitall, davidylan, akatonero,tattoo boy ,Chiover,sexkillz ,it is obvious you folks had a great upbringing.
Where a man knows his manhood is still intact when he cooks or does other chores at home.

Babysitting
Cooking
Doing dishes
Laundry
Vacuuming

Even if it's just one of the above,your wife will appreciate it

I hear the bolded destroys spe.rmm or limit its production! true dat?
Can we reserve that till l am done with my "child-manufacturing" business?
That will even be good in-lieu of any family planning Pills!

Kai, Walahi, l dey come!

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This question is getting boring!
Its a No-Brainer!

The Husband cooking (or helping) in the kitchen does not even merit mentioning (as long as the woman does not take it for granted and START DEMANDING IT)

I dont even think it has anything to do with "LOVE" nor does it have anything to do with being "AFRICAN", l am one myself!.
It is just being responsible.

When you do what is right, without anyone demanding or prompting you to do so, it is called BEING RESPONSIBLE!


The danger is when your wife starts seeing it as her "woman right" to DEMAND that you cook at certain times, as defined by her!
I think this is where the "African Thingy" will come in. We dont like women bossing us around, Period!

Whether my wife is around or not, sick or able, l will cook when l feel like doing so ......and l do it quite a few times.
More importantly, there are times my children "request" that l cook for them (aaah, those scoundrels and bloody rascals that l sired! ), l just go on and cook for them.
We even have a food 'we' christened "Daddy's Special" ..... On "special request", l make it for them, NO BIG DEAL!


I cant repeat it too often, it is good for a man to know how to cook, to cook once in a while, to let your kids see you cook (dont burn the house down please!)
and to teach everyone of your children (male and female), how to cook food.

But NEVER must your Wife DEMAND that you cook, NEVER! That is the day it will end!
Walahi!

Big-Ups to the "real men" who can cook!

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highlandre: If truly Keshi was satisfied, then we can never go beyond this consistent average performance! Mehn, a whole lot is wrong with that team!

Well, when Osaze Odewimgwe called our attention to a few things wrong with our football, everyone CRUCIFIED HIM!
Even this Keshi was mouthing that 'we dont need someone like him, with the caliber of stars he has in the team'!

Imagine, they just keep fluffing chances after chances.... and now they want to start pointing fingers at Referee!
Has Mikel ever scored a Penalty for his team of over 5years?

I am even surprised Keshi could say "Teams dont have any particular specialist for taking Penalties"? Just imagine the level of Ignorance?

For example, if Chelsea ever has a Penalty, who do you think will step forward.. and score it, 99% of the time? FRANK LAMPARD!
That is Chelsea' Penalty specialist. Man U have theirs, and many other teams like that.

The best way to win a game, is to SCORE YOUR OWN GOALS ...not by blaming the Referee!

That Keshi better not return home empty handed or else, Osaze Odewimgwe will have to take his Job!

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Felixjude: Hi people,please i want to urge all those who have used mckoll cream an can trace back this blog to come here an tell others their experiences...people call me to testify how effective the product has been for them,i wish they come here so others will be encouraged to try it too

Hi,
You have done well to introduce this cure to others.
You need to go an "extra-mile" by giving more information about HOW TO GET IT.

Where did you by yours? (You said it is "by order"!)
Who or where did you order it from?
How much did it cost?
How can you help anyone interested in using you, to order it?
What extra steps can you take, to help others in getting this Cream?

Until you do these things, people cannot actually appreciate what you have done because "Half-Cure, ...is No-Cure"!
You have to go the whole way!

Cheers,

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VALIDATOR: This is a wrong way to go about things. Now that NCC acted dictatorially Nigerians did not complain yet they are the same people who will accuse the leaders of not doing things right. Nobody should tell me how much to sell my goods and services. It is my customers that will decide. If they feel my pricing is unfavorable then they should seek other alternatives. It is the duties of NCC to make other alternatives readily available. For starters they should lower the licensing fee paid by new entrants into the telco market. They should also regulate inter connectivity issues among the operators. Price fixing kills business initiatives.

On one hand, you agitate for "FREE MARKET", ..... towards the end of your post, you then advocate "REGULATION"!

Read-Up on "Monopoly", "Cartel" and "Price fixing".

The Government has a right to "Regulate or even fix prices" in the interest of its citizen.
In a situation where there are alternatives (more than one Telco ) BUT these "alternatives" COME TOGETHER TO FIX PRICE, it is as a good a s a Monopoly..... where the customer has NO CHOICE!

In saner climates, Company Executives go to Jail for "price fixing"!

The average Nigerian consumer does not have much choice between all the Telcos, he needs to have Phone/Internet access and thus will just have to subscribe to one of them .... and they have all met behind closed doors clos to fix the price of the services they offer.

This is where Government regulation and Public Consumer Protection Agencies come-in.
Otherwise, these "profiteers" will just hike the price as much as they want and tell us: If you dont like my own, go to the next Telco, who of-course, will offer you nothing different.


But then, l agree with you 100% that Government MUST make the "Business Environment" CONDUCIVE for investors. This is where we have failed, especially when it comes to Power Supply.
Government would have to strike a balance between "consumer protection" and "Free Market".

Thank you my friend.

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Haaa, Nigerians! Very easy to Fool!

Why cant NCC look into the fraud called Data Plan?

You pay for Internet but hardly use it at all (E go cut small, then E go cut looong!).... but your Money is gone already!

If and when internet is good and stable, you will make Voice calls and Text for free now (Skype, Messenger, Whassap, e.t.c).
Even stream Video without headache!


When they know that the TELCO's are rarely affected by such directive, why wont they be strutting and pretending like they are "doing something"!

Reduce the darn price of Voice Calls and Internet/Data Plans......then l would salute you.

Gerrout joor!

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free13: I thought it was only in naija that police officers arrest goats.

Not so FAST!

It is THE OWNER OF THE GOAT that was issued with the Fine ...which "He" refused to pay and was then hurled before a Judge!

In Naija's case, the "Foolice" actually arrested the Goat and detained it, awaiting prosecution (But left the owner out of it).

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BTW; I once warned my neighbor: If your Goat eats my Flowers, you will have to pay for it ...or else, l eat your Goat (to recover my Flowers) as well.
This good neighbor has a habit of unleashing his herd of Goats on the neighborhood every evening, not caring where they went, whose food/flowers they ate or on whose lawn they defecate!

^^^^^Disease spread by doing "Otondo-kerewa-kerewa" inside the Toilet!

Seriously, its a 'cute way' of saying STD's .....if it affects a woman!

But if its a man, na Gonococo we go call am!

Chei, man don suffer for this obodo Nijeriya!


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@winneygirl:

No hassles, we all have different ways of approaching a "situation" like this.

Happy days!

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I have watched this event over twenty times over!

What l see is hazard kicking THE BALL from underneath the Boy (or man).

And as you will notice, the Ball "ejected" on the other side of the Boy.

If Hazard had kicked the "boy's Body", the Ball wont have come out the other side!

...or what would you say is the source of "force" that ejected the ball on the other side, ...in the direction of Hazard's kick.

Again, you will notice that the "kick, cross-over and picking-up of the Ball" by Hazard happened in "one fluid movement" ...which shows that Hazard did not kick the Boy but kicked the Ball from under him!

I think the referee was just trying to appeal to Public Sentiment though until you watch the replay and really "slow it down", you will think Hazard actually kicked the Boy, coupled with his "Oscar Nomination" acting!

And from the Bo'ys "Tweets", it shows this is all planned and premeditated!

That 17yr old needs to be arrested, charged for obstruction and provocation.
That Red Card needs to be withdrawn ASAP and Hazard apologized to.

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BTW: I am an Arse.nal Arsenal fan! 5-1 is a breath of fresh air!

That 2013, tear-rubber Quashcai Jeep looks like an "abandoned" vehicle (The owner has not driven the vehicle in a whole week!)

Okay, lets tow-it and C-R-U-S-H it!

Wahala dey o!

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BTW: I think the Govt should have gone a step further to "clearly define" the phrase "abandoned vehicle" ....otherwise, overzealous and bad-belle officials and towing vehicle operators can use it to cause wahala, deliberately or otherwise ..... You know now, na Naija we dey talk about!

Winneygirl: @Op, Just tell Ur Dad, without mincing words, to go & sought out d issue with Ur mum. Whn He is done, he can come and give U feedback.

Dis is distracting U in sch. Tell him dat if U fail because he cannot handle dis issue maturedly, He shld know dat He cannot set fire 2 his roof and go in 2sleep.

Besides, stay away frm d house now. Stay in sch and dont go home till U're thru wt Ur final yr. Be careful wt calls dat U will distract U. Only U can shape wat U will become, father or no father. It begins now!

Winneygirl;
Pls dont take offense but l am wondering whether you are "young" in age and maybe that could explain your "militant disposition" in this kind of matter?

A father still remains a father ...and if not for anything, the "age difference" alone demands that a "child" shows respect to his/her Dad.

Imagine if you are the Dad, do you think you have no right to be annoyed?

..And again, A FATHER (and Mother) has a profound influence on the Life and future of a child
(Why do you think about 80% of U.K and U.S jail inmates are reared by SINGLE PARENTS? .... and 75% of successful people are reared by BOTH PARENTS?)

But CONFRONTATION as you posted above would NEVER resolve the issue....... it will only breed more hatred and a complete breakdown of that family-line.

You cant give your Dada such "ultimatum"!
What if he is someone like me and just calls your bluff
What are you gonna do next? Smoke him with a gun?
TWO WRONGS WILL NEVER MAKE A "SINGLE" RIGHT!

In any confrontation or "hot/explosive issue", you must ask yourself:
1) What is MY OBJECTIVE? (scatter-scatter, getting to the root of the matter, reconciliation, e.t.c)
2) Is my "method" of going about it NOW, going to lead to my "objective" above?

if the answer to (2) is "NO", then you should change your method ..... or redefine your objective.

As in your example, this lady's (abi na guy sef) is confused, dejected and rendered "unstable", ......his/her objective is to "reconcile to his/her PHYSICAL father first" and maybe later locate his/her BIOLOGICAL father, for personal reasons.

Now do you think issuing ultimatums like you posted above, will "reconcile" him/her to the Dada? NO, l dont think so.

Bear in mind that the father is also NOT RESPONSIBLE for this situation! But he is hurting as well.
Though, l expect that he will calm down eventually and not "throw-away the baby with the bath-water".

Really, its a very traumatizing situation ...that does not just go-away by itself!

Cheers.

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Joe980: @OP...be strong. @house; is it possible to get the DNA of a child at pregnancy level?

YES!
using "amniotic fluid" from the Mother.

It is very expensive and considered NOT VERY RELIABLE.

Six Months AFTER birth is considered "standard" .....but their are situations where 'you just cant wait'!

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You dont have mobile network = You cant use a GSM network to make calls or browse internet?
You have internet connection = You can connect your laptop to an internet server and browse on your laptop?

You need to Skype your wife, right?
Why not SKYPE her on your Laptop then, since you can connect to internet on the Laptop?

Or maybe you want to use the Skype application on a Phone, that you can connect to the Laptops's internet (using the phone as a modem, right?)
If that is the case, most Nokia Smart phones (Lumnia series), Samsung S3, Iphone 4 and above on ios 6.0.1 all can run Skype application.

Just go to their App Store and search for Skype App.

Hope this helps?

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kushbab: the major thing bothering me nw is that he is angry and has told his relative to take me back formally to my mum's people and all the while i've been, he never allowed me visit my mum or her family members. Am very scared of hw am goin to cope considering that am in my final year.

Hi kushbab,
Sorry about your predicament, that is "life' for you, ...shyte happenz, as they say!

Like people have advised, the Swab test is between 97 - 99.7% accurate (l read that from a Medical website).
Doctors have mentioned that the problem, when the test go wrong, are usually associated with the "chain-of-handling" process i.e.:

*Samples could be contaminated along the line, samples could be swapped unknowingly, final results could also be swapped, e.t.c, all giving WRONG RESULTS!

What people normally do to rule out "any-eventuality" is to take a second confirmatory test, using a different Laboratory/service provider and a different type of sample (BLOOD this time, its just a small jab on your finger, like a normal test).
On that note, l will suggest you ask your Dad that you take a BLOOD DNA test and use a different provider....just to play safe.


Having said that, there is already "an issue" on ground ....that is your relationship with your "physical Dad".
Whether we like it or not, there is ALWAYS something that draws us to or makes us want to find out who our real Dad is ...even if we have no bond with him whatsoever!

You will ALWAYS want to know, even if its for curiosity's sake, who your Biological Father is.
That one is your Mum's palaver, if you need to know.

But currently, that Man (current Dad, funny it sounds that way?) is the person you had bonded with all your life.
You see him as your Dad and he sees you as his daughter.

Right now, he is very ANGRY, DISTURBED, DISAPPOINTED, CHEATED ...AND PROBABLY RUNNING CRAZY WITH VENGEANCE! ...and truly so!!
We must try and see things from the other person's perspective, as well.
Put yourself in his "shoes", how will you be feeling right now?
By doing this, you will be able to cope with his "wrong disposition" towards you at this moment.

Believe me, HE STILL LOVES YOU DEARLY BUT HIS EMOTIONS ARE IN A STATE OF CHAOS RIGHT NOW.

You need to give him "time and space" to calm down and overcome his inner turmoil. He will calm down eventually.
(Dont go running to your Mum's people right now, some of them might cause you more emotional damage, seeing it as an opportunity to get their own pound of flesh back, from you ...since you did not come to see them all this while when things were fine or just to get back at your Mum!)
If you have a friend, colleague or neighbor you can stay with, please do ...and keep this thing "quiet" for now, from people in your "immediate environment"...for now at least, till your emotions are back and solid)

If l could talk to him, this is part of what l would tell him (and this is where him having "experienced and matured friends" that you can involve, will play an important role. A 3rd party will easily talk more sense into him, at the initial stage, than you doing it yourself):

1) I would ask him if he thinks you asked him or any one, to "father" you?
2) I would ask him if you are the one responsible or played any part in your Mum giving you to him ...and not the person that truly inseminated her?
3) I will ask him if you have ever displayed any symptom of 'you not being his child before'?
4) I would ask him if he has ever loved you less than "his daughter" ...till the DNA revelation came out?
5) I would ask him if he thinks it is right to punish you for the sins of your Mother?
6) I would ask him if he valued the relationship both of you have shared all this while/ in the past?
7) I would ask him that "if the next test prove he is your father", if he can undo any damage he is doing now ... and if he would love you as he did before?

I would ask him MANY other questions that time and space wont allow me to state here ....and l would make sure he ANSWERS EVERY SINGLE QUESTION, record the "Q & A" cum "counseling session" and ask him to play it to himself at least ten times, in the next few days.
The idea is to make him "reflect deeply".

When l see him again, l will ask him to tell/convince himself that he is NOT your biological father but he should consider you as an orphan/fatherless ....and as "a gift and responsibility", by the almighty, to care-for and nurture, on HIS behalf.

I would remind him that since you have NO HAND in the event that transpired, he must not allow those "event" (which are mostly in the past), to affect the relationship between the two of you. If YOU dont want him is another matter.

I will ask him and remind him that "what if" you happen to be the only child he has, will he disown you on the basis of this DNA result or would he patch-up with you?

I believe, with God's help, l can convince him to take the "Upper Road, be matured about his pains" (and they are eternal pains, believe me) and maintain his relationship with you. God would intervene. Your case wont be the first ..and wont be the last!

The next stage would be to also counsel YOU:
I can imagine how you feel and how easy it is to tell you "concentrate on your exams"!
Where is the concentration going to come from?
How can you concentrate when the whole essence of your life has just been shattered? The "world" you know is crashing around you right now!

We will sit down and discuss and try to get you over how you feel right now (LOST, UNWANTED, BETRAYED, UNLOVED, DISAPPOINTED, e.t.c)


The thing is NONE OF YOU DESERVES ANY BLAME IN THIS FIASCO.
YOU ARE BOTH VICTIMS OF EITHER A DELIBERATE ACTION OR A "MISTAKE", BY YOUR MUM.


We will then arrange a "meeting of minds" and reconciliation between YOU and your Dad.
There and then you will rebuild your relationship with him and trust me, it will even be stronger than before.


But for now, you have to be strong and keep reminding yourself that you have no fault or "cause" in all these.
Dont let any guilt creep on you, you are blameless in the situation.

Also, dont begrudge your Mother about this. Time heals most, if not all wounds.


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If you need to talk privately, you can PM me and l will get back to you.
I will even be in Lagos next week... and if that is where you are, we can work-out something.
Cheer up, its not the end of the world ...and if it is, the "blameless" will go to heaven naah!

^^^^You welcome.
But l need not remind you that "Not all counsel are profitable"!
You will need to sieve the 'chaff' from the 'grain'!

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BTW: your Uncle has said well. Time heals certain wounds and l am guessing our man is "wounded" right now.
Our prayers are with those kids.

dahonestboss: Please tell am for me oo



Do you know that homosexualism has been found in Animals , plants, and sea creature? google is your friend bro

Exactly, they are ANIMALS ...
......and they hurt everyone in the society when they pollute the environment, with their deviant and pervert lifestyle!

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uchechuwku: i just discovered my Ancestral name is [color=#000000]Obasanjo[/color]
i want to contest for a political post in Ogun state.
i'll have to change my first name tho...

üchechwuku Obasanjo

Nothing do you, my Brother!
If Olusegun Igbochukwu Obachonjo can claim Abeokuta (though he was born there but his father is Igbo), why cant you?
see for your self naah! https://www.nairaland.com/542739/obasanjo-lied-true-origin-he

The pictures of these two men, former President Olusegun Obasanjo and Igwe Okwudili Onyejekwe bear a striking resemblance. Igwe Onyejekwe is the former Obi of Onitsha, Igwe Okwudili Onyejekwe a police officer, who lived in Abeokuta around 1930s. He died in 1970.

No need to change your name at all.
Carry-go, Yorubas are very welcoming.

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dahonestboss: we need to understand that gays are human like us, they didnt choose their sexual orientation, why cant we just let them be? you need to be a gay to understand the kind of pain they are passing through in a society like Nigeria.

Pls Let them be

LIAR!

Dont ever blame nature for being GAY!

Perverseness is a CHOICE.

We can as well excuse armed Robbers and kidnappers, after all, its not their fault, they did not choose to be so when they were born, it is nature/environment that made them so!

Everyone has these "urge" to take what does not belong to them. (STEALING)
Growing-Up, we were told that stealing is wrong.
Some worked to correct that "deviant" behavior and controlled that urge to steal.
Others, because of the "benefit" (reward, enjoyment, e.t.c) they get from such behavior, they decided / CHOSE they would CONTINUE!

Today, they are big time armed Robbers while me and you controlled ourselves to be straight citizens!

Now tell me, if you have never felt an attraction for another person, that you think was WRONG? What did you do?
Go raping them? Hell NO, you controlled your desires.

But these gays will take joy in their deviant behavior, even at the initial stage ...and now, they want us to believe they were "born like that"?

Abegi, stop this cry-cry baby!
It will not buy you one sichi of sympathy!

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I dont subscribe to them being beaten black and blue, mind you!
They should just keep their pervert behavior under their roof and stop polluting the society.

Ogojohn: MY BROTHER THAT PRESENTLY RESIDE IN CAMEROON RETURNED WITH HIS TOYOTA CAMRY ONCE AND I TOOK IT OUT. ON A POLICE CHECK POINT THEY STOPPED ME. WHEN THEY CHECKED THE CUSTOM PAPERS THAT THE VEHICLE CAME TO NIGERIA WIT. TO MY SURPRISE. THE CAR HAD ON THE THE CHASSIS NUMBER. AT THE PLACE WHERE THE ENGINE NUMBER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WAS BLANK.THE POLICE MEN NOW TERMED THE VEHICLE A STOLEN VEHICLE EVEN WIT THE OFFICIAL CUSTOM PAPER WITH WHICH THE VEHICLE WAS PERMITTED TO COME INTO NIGERIA WAS PRESENTED. I WAS MADE TO PATH WITH SOME MONEY AFTER ABOUT TWO HOURS DELAY AT THE POLICE STATION. WHEN I CAME BACK I ASKED MY BROTHER WHY THE PAPERS DIDN'T HAVE THE ENGINE NUMBER. HE EXPLAINED TO ME THAT IN CAMEROON THAT VEHICLE ENGINE ARE ALSO PARTS IN A VEHICLE THAT CAN BE CHANGED THEREFORE ARE NOT INCLUDED IN THE PARTICULARS.

Your experience sums up everything this thread is about.

The Police SHOULD NOT BE ASKING FOR ENGINE NUMBER. NOT AT ALL.
This is what l was expecting Sienna to say from the on-set.

In the "WEST", vehicles are identified by a LOG BOOK.
This document has all sorts of information (and is updated as it passes from hand to hand, during vehicle sales) but the most important ones which do not change (except if the vehicle enters another country, in which case, the Reg/plate number may change) are:

Vehicle Identification Number (its on your seat belt, car chasis and about anything permanent on that car)
Engine size, Transmission, Date of first registration, number of previous owner, CURRENT owner name and address, color and some other stuffs.

Now, it is THE POLICE that needs to be educated on how to do their job, what to look for when they want to identify a "truly stolen vehicle" (as against just setting-people-up for extortion).

You cannot blame the people for inefficiency and deliberate ploy to extort, by the Police.
The Police, followed by the Judiciary are the biggest enemy of Nigeria and like NEPA! , until we sort out these two, Nigeria can never reducee its rate of corruption nor develop.

if a Policeman sees you taking your TV for repair, (A TV you've had for donkey years!), he will ask for the reciept you were given when you bought the TV Is there a report of a stolen TV in the last five minutes or why is he so interested in the TV's receipt?

Same goes with Laptop ..and to mention the ridiculous, they asked a guy for receipt of his "Italian Leather shoes"
Guy said it was sent as a gift to him by his brother in Italy and Policeman went: This is a stolen item, if you cannot provide the receipt!

So, the problem is not the people as Sienna alludes, it is the Police and Judicial system that is so corrupt, they are now so brazen.

I agree that "lack of basic knowledge" about your "rights" can make you more susceptible to their antics but even when you know your "right" (from your left! ), their determination to extort you now makes them VIOLENT and many a "knowledgeable peeps" have been sent to their grave by those criminals in Uniform.

What manner of Police arrests a man in "shorts and T-shirt + Bathroom slippers" who just walks across the road to buy Sardine from the Mallam's Kiosk? Arresting him for "wandering" even when the man points to his house-door some 50meters away and asked to be taken there to confirm his identity?

But THEY REFUSED ....because they have a "target amount" they must extort from innocent people!

American Police and U.K Police no dey do like that naah?

Well sha, we all know 'whatz-up' with Nigerian police.

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I think some of you should just focus on the "ISSUE RAISED HERE"!

Contribute your opinion but Stop insulting everyone and using foul language!!

ISSUES (as alleged):
1.) Application process and requirements not clearly defined.
2.) Refusal of Application without proper and detailed explanation
3.) Non picking of 'consumer complaint" phone lines
4.) Need to separate "Visa Administration/Processing fee" from "Visa issuance fee": The former should be forfeited for every application but the latter, should be refunded, if and only if your Visa application is refused. This would ensure that the "refusal" is not just a money-making exercise!

Now, anyone can pick this issues and discuss them instead of veering-off onto other issues (like Nigeria is bad, why do you need Pijo when there is Toyota, e.t.c)

Cheers and good discussion.

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nwando: We have about 4 TV's in the house
3 with full cable[b]
I break his arsenal TV,I can still watch my shows in another room [/b]
My tuke tuke TV in the bedroom will do just fine for me

How come SKYY/Cable is not showing in any of your TV?
You begin to wonder (and he begins to play some devilish grin on his face!)

Oohh, the storm last night "mistakenly" cut the Antenna cables!

Wait o! The STORM? Hmmmmmmm.....Jeez, some men are wicked!

(Two can play the game! )

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nwando:
Who is this person please
Can you read the two posts by the OP
Sheesh!

At times, you need to look at the line of reasoning of someone ....from what they have posted.

And the answer to your question is: Someone who takes pleasure in seeing a man sent to Prison, just to humiliate him.

Man, Know your enemy!
Ehin'kunle l'oota wa, ile la'aseni igbe! (The enemy lives in your backyard, the wicked one actually sleeps on the same bed with you!) **** Yoruba Proverb!!

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Thanks to A-40 and Abrantie! Youtube has just done the rest!

When I was just a little baby boy
My momma used to tell me these crazy things
She used to tell me my daddy was an evil man
She used to tell me he hated me

But then I got a little bit older
And I realized, she was the crazy one
But there was nothing I could do or say to try to change it
Cause that's just the way she was


I said, I'm sorry momma
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry
but tonight I'm cleanin' out my closet


Now I would never diss my own momma just to get recognition
Take a second to listen for who you think this record is dissin'
But put yourself in my position, just try to envision
Witnessin' your momma poppin' prescription pills in the kitchen
Bitchin' that someone's always goin' through her purse and poo's missin'
Goin' through public housin' systems,
victim of Munchausen's syndrome
My whole life I was made to believe I was sick when I wasn't
'Til I grew up, now I blew up, it makes you sick to your stomach
Doesn't it? Wasn't it the reason you made that C.D. for me Ma?
So you could try to justify the way you treated me ma? But guess what?
You're gettin older now and it's cold when you're lonely
And Nathan's growin' up so quick, he's gonna know that you're phony
And Hailie's gettin' so big now, you should see her, she's beautiful
But you'll never see her, she won't even be at your funeral
See, what hurts me the most is you won't admit you was wrong
Naughty Lady, do your song, keep tellin' yourself that you was a mom
But how dare you try to take what you didn't help me to get
You selfish Naughty Lady, I hope you fuckin' burn in hell for this poo
Remember when Ronnie died and you said you wished it was me?
Well, guess what, I am dead, dead to you as can be

I think the above is the lyrics of a rap song?
Can anyone tell me the Artists name and Title?

Some of these "Gangsters" say things you will not believe, is coming from their "Ganja-infested minds".

I hope our Mums would read those lyrics and ponder over it.
My prayer is that we would not bring children into this world and by our 'actions and inactions', make them say things like the above about us.



Quarrel with the Dad if need be, live apart if thats the only solution but NEVER USE THE CHILDREN TO GET BACK AT HIM OR AS A WEAPON IN THE COURTS.
What goes around will eventually come around, in my opinion.


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jidegirl12: Lastpage; When marital conflict is at it's boiling point nobody cares ...so being a proud Mother is outta the skyscraper ...... I lived it so I know.... Nobody is patting this mom in question on the back NO! We were just concerned bout these kids.

What I think the kids will do to their mom? Well that's the core reason why Ladies here are campaigning for the Dad to be involved in his kids life, rather than fold his hands and pay 1grand worth of child support he doesn't have to....

Biola was talking about his monthly expenses , he doesn't have to pay 1k if he fought it.....legal fees? well that's part of parenting , and if he's living with them wouldn't he cough out emergency $300 for his kids?
You guys are just making it a big deal.

And yes he is WEAK .... DISINTERESTED? Well I'll have to know him to find out...

When I was 5years old and some old Aunt told me oh your mom still loves you very much and she'd be around when you're 14. ... I would for sure think shes crazy!

The only point Guys don't seem to agree is ; if he truly want those girls and raise them himself he won't be running away from a legal fight he's likely to win.......

My embellishment add on ; I was at family services today and made a lot of enquiries about a 'messy divorce '..., you'd be surprised at the number of resources they have 'Mediation', 'just for kids sake', 'legal conflicts' and many more. ( with pictures of both stone faced parents and happy kid with his arms wrapped around his dad )
And David this applies to US residents too .

I'm neither on any side ..... I'm just very concern bout these girls that could end up broken soon in life.

You think he is likely to WIN? You think its 'really and truly' about the children's interest?
Nope, a Man cant win "the system" in the Western world when it comes to divorce.
The system is designed to beat a man down, keep him beaten and brow beat him the more, if he tries to just as crouch a bit!
Maybe that was not the original intention ...but that is the OUTCOME NOW!

The system knew that divorce is NOT GOOD for a family, especially the kids, they knew what they should have done, to keep the family united (preach endurance, tolerance, reconciliation,trust between spouses, do things the way our "mothers and fathers of old" did it).

But they are NOT WILLING to do those things because it runs against the "spirit of liberalism and feminism"!

So, they tried a "short cut" of forcing a man to stoop low and take shyte from his woman ..or else, MAKE HIS LIFE MISERABLE!

Hardly would you see a man who does not take pride in caring for his kids, morally and financially!
So, the issue of Child support is "given", even without a court compelling him to pay.Most Men would gladly support their kids when family break-up except in cases where the woman has poisoned the minds of the kids against their Dad and the children (ignorantly) are made to say and do things which is grievous, mental/soul-depressing to a father.
He feels sad that his own children could say and do such things to him (But he forgets they are acting under their Mum's influence and they are still too young to stand on their own, and should not be held accountable)

What most men abhor is when the ex-wife uses that same money to prop-up an extravagant lifestyle, use it to attract a Gigollo or just waste it on worthless things ....so much so that the children who are the intended beneficiary, are living in deprivation.!

Believe me, if the system where to come up with a way whereby the ex-husband can DIRECTLY FUND the children's needs, you will see that most men would gladly pay for everything their children needs!

The Courts know this but their interest is not actually the kids as they often propagate.
Their main concern is how to teach a man "a big lesson in life" for daring to be free from a woman that makes his life miserable!

I would not be saying anything new if l said women generally feel and know that the worst way to get back and hit at a man is his children.

It is the most pain you can inflict on any man .... forget all the bravado men make!
after inflicting such "pain", most men will still try to find a way to see those kids (which l think is your point?).

But ..and this is a "big BUT".... when it comes to the point where a man has to MAKE A CHOICE between "Staying FREE" (as in No jail time, no criminal records, e.t.c) ....OR.... being able to see his Children, any rational man would STAY AWAY from the children.
A SMART MAN MUST NOT SUFFER "DOUBLE JEOPARDY"!
Being separated from your children is punishment enough.

With time, when the children grow-up and their Mother is not in a position to speak on their behalf or take decisions for them, its their choice to find-out the truth, try have a relationship with their father (who will be more than willing to open-up and love them unconditionally) or to keep to themselves.

Its a "Devil's alternative for the man, either way, he will still lose, just like "Logica" exemplified.

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logica: If you've ever played the game of chess before, you will know there are certain moves after which no other moves you make can prevent loss/certain doom. They call such a move a blunder. The best you can do is prolong the game by making good moves; but then the game is lost anyway.

He made a blunder marrying your cousin in the first place (as judging from the description of your cousin, she doesn't sound like a woman any sane man should marry, date or even have a fling with for that matter). It's as simple as that. He simply cannot recover from that blunder, and any other bad move will simply hasten his ultimate doom. He has made a good move to stay in the game (staying away from her and their kids). Fighting for custody will lead to a quick checkmate.

Now, that's what l call LOGIC!

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jidegirl12: When situation is tangled like this..... na from Burger King and co he will start from whether he likes it or not.... take it or Kuku give up.... your kids would bond with a rascal tattooed mfkg guy instead!

And call him daddy .... by the time they're 14 ( junior high) they're already dis vir gined ( possibly by step dad) and tell you to FK off!

Isn't that just EXCELLENT ?

I am trying not to get involved in this argument but AT THE END OF THE DAY (as you described above), do you think such a Mother will be a PROUD MOTHER as well?
...And what do you think such kids would tell (or do to) the Mother who ruined their life ....if they can do the above to their father?
she would be worse-off, ... for all we know, the man may start another family and get other kids.


I tell you, this woman is determined to bring the man down at all cost!
*She hopes he will lose his job and default on Child Support = JAIL
*She hopes he will try to reach his kids (and that will be through her first, breaching the order) = JAIL
*As a Nurse, its not like she is desperate for money but she would just want to see that man impoverished, even if she has to use the Child support money to buy asho-ebi !

Finally, in such cases as this, the Father must do a critical evaluation, a "cost and benefit analysis".
=> What is there to lose, now and in the future; what is there to gain, now and in the future.
You cannot be a good father from JAIL (she will even tell his kids that he was bad and thats why he went to jail)
He is not weak or disinterested in his children, HE IS JUST BEING SMART ABOUT THE SITUATION!

There is ALWAYS a BOND, a natural bond between a parent and a child, if that parent is a good one, irrespective of whether they are in constant contact with the kid or not.

I have seen many situations where the Mother uses the children to spite the father (due to natural physiology, women are often granted custody) whenever there is a marital breakdown.
She will get the money but will labor all her life to PROPERLY raise the children (and most fail miserably!).

At the end of the day, somehow, the children will get to know (from word of mouth and personal contact with the man, when they are grown up) that it was their Mother that fouled things up..... and the hatred they will then develop for her is only just imaginable.

@OP: Let the man be.
All you need do is tell the children, whenever you have the opportunity to see them, "that their father loves them but cant be with them for now".

When they grow up, they will find out the truth ... and you will see that KARMA is a bit.ch!

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Gten: Nigerians,we have advanced so much in d negative direction,we criticize everything and nothing,I still don't see leaders of tomorrow.Faith in the supernatural is not subject to scientific proof,u either have faith or keep shut and watch those with faith advance beyond scientific limitations.

I like your quote ....especially the bolded parts.

Can you cite some examples of these "advancement that is beyond scientific limitations" PLEASE!

Thank you three-much.

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Please, expect to substantiate whatever you cite o!

Well, let the Pastor mass-produce such cars or let him lay hands on as many cars as he can find during the Holy Ghost festival.

That in my opinion would save us from the "Petroleum cabal and Jonathan".

These Pastors, dem sabi yarn sha!

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Elebiju: I support u jare better person,that child must be a bastard I repeat the pikin wey get liver take nail write I love u mum for d car wey I take M̶̲̥̅̊y̶̲̥̅̊ money buy for d mama must be a bastard,me wey I inject am inside d mama womb pay for antenatal,buy bournvita with milk when d mama get him belle,still do topping and I even paid d hospital bills when dem born am money wey I spend for immunization,bcg and co no get account,I bought his diapers though I no d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥y like to change am Ooº°˚ ˚° even if e commot maggot for him yansh I no like to d̶̲̥̅̊ε̲̣̣̣̥y see pikin shit,I bought sma gold,similac with iron and even frisocream wey he chop for baby,I paid his school fees from daycare till when he sabi how to write the nonsense wey him write he never had a second thought abt all I went through make him write I love M̶̲̥̅̊y̶̲̥̅̊ daddy instead,I swear he is a bastard or he was swapped at d hospital,the thing no go easy Ooº°˚ ˚°.

Okay, maybe l am the only one that noticed this or not:

The "Women" seem to go easy with the child on this issue.
Most "Men's" comment seems to be very harsh on this issue.

Question: WHY?

Suggestions:
1.) Could it be that the men feel the pain of buying the car more than the women?
2.) Are men generally more harsh towards children?
3.) Are women more selfish since the writing seem to promote the Mum only?

Finally, as a man, will your reaction still be the same, if that child has written those words to YOU? (My Son calls me the best Dad in the world and seals it with a hug! )

On the other hand, will women have reacted "kindly" to the writing, if it was about "Dad" ....on Mum's car?

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BTW: Why are most children very partial with regards to their Mum?
Using the post above (Elebiju), it seems the guy's grouse is mostly with the effort he has put into bringing and raising this child only for him/her not to show "small appreciation" to Dad but showered it on Mum ....in a way that hurts Dad!

Wahala Dey O!