₦airaland Forum

chic2pimp:
Simple But Very Effective Solution : Go And Buy Your Own Wedding Ring.

Right on! You didn't know BEFORE you married him that he wasn't into buying "rings"? But you decided to marry him anyway. You're married now. It's kinda too late to start complaining. Straight up like chic2pimp said: go buy your own wedding ring. Problem solved. Next case,

Pretty much all of the above.  The lady felt cheated, used, betrayed, taken advantage of and played etc.  So she seeks "revenge".  The best revenge is to get the guy where it really hurts. So whatever thats meaningful to the guy, they want to destroy in hopes to destroy him, what he has, his pride, his integrity anything.  She just tries to break him down, all the way down until he left with that one wish, that he wish he was never born. (Okay, so livedit may watch a little bit too much tv)  

Unfortunately, retaliation is never the way nor would it changed their situation. But alot of women can't deal with the fact of being made a fool out of.

You maybe reading into things too deep. "Hi hun", I feel is a style of talking. I've had strangers call me hun. So I don't take that "personally". Some people just talk like that. Now ending in, "X", is odd and I still feels rave no meaning. Don't know why the "secrecy" or the laziness of writing there name out. Then again, that could just be their style of "talking".

MzDarkSkin:
[color=#0066ff]
on what your tricycle. [/color]

MzDark?? What the? Stop it. OMG! I'm sorry, but that was hilarious. Thanks for giving me a visual of a guy on a tricycle. You all are so silly! I love you all. Just makes my day with these "caps" <- old school lingo) on each other

Someone that's not in the Kingdom.
Someone who is too old or young for me.
Someone with no integrity, no morals, selfish, immature and fake.
Someone who is a player or womanizer.
Someone irresponsible, disrespectful, liar, and disgraceful.

25omega:
The fact of the matter is she will cheat if she wants to and there is nothing you can do about it. wether she is cheating now or she cheats later there is nothing you can do. Instead of spending time and effort trying to find out if she is cheating you should instead spend time on stregthening your relationship. You already have doubt then why the heck are you marrying her?

why do guys do such to themselves you know the woman you are with is not what you are looking for because she either doesn't respect you or she is too demanding or she is a cheat and yet you talk about marriage? i dont get it.

you should hold up on the marriage plans because you need more time to know this woman you want to marry

Perfectly said 25omega.  I just don't get it either.  Why proceed with the marriage plans when obviously there are some trust issues going on here.  Find out the facts first before planning a future with someone who may be cheating.  His friends could be right or they could be wrong.  But to me, why all this?  Have she given any other reason for you to doubt her Fidelity?

Livedit is puzzled by this "story".  You two routinely calls each other at the break of dawn.  But then you call her one morning and she "goes off" and tells you to leave her alone.  Why are you two calling each other so early?  Have you tried asking her why she blows off the handle like that? Is it certain times of the month this happens or is it all the time?  What is she "going off" about? If it's about you calling her so early, stop calling. Wait on her to call. Is this the only issue you have with your girlfriend? How does she treat you otherwise?  I would suggest sitting down and talking with her to try and find out what her deal is and see if it's something going on with her or if it's a issue within the relationship that keeps being ignored so she is retaliating by these "flair-ups".  If all else fells then, stop taking her back.  She could just be mentally unstable and who needs to deal with the drama.  Move on and find someone who is mature and stable. Why make life more harder for yourself? 

I agree with MRBROWNJAY.  If you've voiced your concerns/feelings about his weight and he still refuses to lose weight then the ball is back in your court.  Is "weight" a deal breaker for you? If it is, good guy or not, then you just may have to just walk away.  Remember, weight is "cosmetic" so it can be fixed.  It's possible something "personally" could be going on within him as to why his sudden weight gain.  Maybe you can try finding out if that is indeed the case.  Because if he just laughs it off and disregard you addressing his size, then it could be something more emotional going on with him.  Gin (liquor) is nothing but sugar and then to mix soda on top of that.  To me, I would be more concerned about his health than him being "ripped with muscles" or worrying about what "other" people think about your relationship.  It's obviously something is going on with the guy, before just throwing in the towel.

I don't know about Nigerian men.  But men here in the U.S.A. has.  Besides, I don't see why not.  Your money can only get you so far.  Money can't buy love.  Not every single woman is into a man just for his money.  Money is great, but who is he? Like I've said before in a past post, money don't define a man's true identity, nor is having money (or being rich) make you a man either.  It's all about quality not quantity that defines a true man.

I don't think it's the same. "Dating" is just that, dating. You can be dating numerous of people at one time and I wouldn't call them all girlfriends/boyfriends. Now when you speak on "girlfriend". You are claiming or making a label for one another. You are specifically "seeing" that person only. I see that more so of a commitment. When you are just "dating", you are still free to see/talk and/or "date" other people as well. Another example, I can have alot of friends, but there are very few I would consider a "best friend". You feel me?

SUPER multiple choice answers MRBROWNJAY! 


Frankly, I wouldn't volunteer more information that isn't relevant anyway.  Who she was with BEFORE they met IS her own business.  Just like who HE was with was not any of her business.  My thing is, why lie? Why not tell the guy from jump when he tried to get some "pie" that at that time she is celebate and will be until she is married.  Why start off a relationship lying?  Sooner or later, it's going to catch up to you one way or another. 

ONLY if HE is persistant about finding out, then she should tell him the truth.  The repercussion she will have to deal with because it was her that lied about it.  He may stay, he may go.  That's a chance she will have to take.  But again, she don't owe to tell him anything about her past BEFORE they met is the way livedit feel about it.

Thirst4Lif:
Very true.

Men should understand that women are people. They're not 2-headed aliens from Mars, so stop adding
stress in your life by thinking there is some deep dark secret to making a woman happy that everyone
is aware of but you.

Women have the same wants, needs and desires as anyone else on the Planet. They want attention, as
we all do, they want to be acknowledged and appreciated, not to be taken for granted etc.

There aren't any set rules for making someone happy, you have to determine what makes your girlfriend
happy from your interactions with her. You know what makes her smile and you know what makes her upset, so go
from there. You know the lady, we don't.

Excellent! Like Thirst4lif said, every woman is different and what makes one woman happy may dismise another. The same that goes for a man. You want to find out what makes your partner "tick", ask them!

It all depends on that person.  Not all "black women" have bad attitudes.  I'm living proof. Upbringing, environment, respectfulness and morals of an individual plays a huge factor of how a person behaves.  And that goes for every race, religion or creed.

I'm assuming you've only "dated" this person for 3 months. And he is already claiming to be in love with you already? First things first, this relationship is still considered "new" so right now, you two really don't know each other like that to be labeling so soon. Heartbreak is never easy for anyone. But as someone earlier pointed out, but it's all apart of life and growing up. Only way to avoid it almost completely is to not be in a relationship at all. And from reading your post, it don't sound like you want to stay single for the rest of your life.

I say just go with the flow. I don't think you have NOTHING to feel bad about because you didn't "lie" and tell this guy in return that you loved him too. I have to give you your props for keeping it real. You can just let him know that you care for him and enjoy the time you and him spend together but you want to take things slow to get to know each other better. If he "loves" you like he says he does, then I think he would understand and respect you for keeping it real with him and wanting to take your time to get to know him first before jumping head first into something that could be disastrous down the road. If he gets mad, upset and/or leaves, then you better off without him.

Finding a lifelong mate takes time and patience. It takes knowing who God is, who then in return will show you who you are so that you will be able to be that lifelong supportive and loving help mate you want to be. Don't let society, family, friends or whomever rush you into something as important as your LIFE to get married and settle down with anybody. You just pray and seek God and ask him to help you. If you know things just aren't quite right within you that you want right, just ask him to show you and to help you with that. All God want is the best for you and that is what you should want for yourself. God is a gentleman, and you want a man of God that will echo that wonderful trait.

I know time is ticking regardless and you don't want life to past you by, but choosing just anyone isn't the way nor the answer. Stay true to yourself and to other people and before you know it, Mr. Right will be right there in front of you. Don't lose faith.

I really don't think you can compare a man/woman choosing to like or date a big/slim, short/tall, dark/light etc person oppose to sexual orientation. These are similiar but not the same. The body type or complexion of a person is a matter of person taste, you can't compare "sexuality" to something like that. For instances, I use to love pickles when I was young, I hate them now. So a person's "taste" can change. When you're speaking of "sexuality" then your dealing with something spiritual. As MzDark pointed out, there are instances where there is very young boy who likes to play with dolls and maybe "gay" or that young female girl who likes to climb too many tree's (sort of speak) and be a lesbian. But I think all this will stem from a evil "spirit". God didn't create man/woman to be "gay". But I think and also feel it is possible for a demonic lascivious spirit such as that to be chosen. Even if it wasn't by the parent or embryo itself. It could've been past down from generation to generations. That's how curses develops.

Anyway, only way anyone will be set free of something like that is pure deliverance. And again, that's something you have to choose to want.

Livedit feels bad for your friend. But this question really isn't relevant to your friend's case at all. This isn't a case of who loves more, this situation sums it up that there was no love at all on her part. This situation is more along the lines of "lust" not "love" on her part.

Moreover, I'm inclined to agree with MzDarkskin's comment. Most women are far more emotional and any normal stable minded woman tends to fall the quickest than a stable mature minded man. But when the man does fall seriously for the woman, watch out!! , no wonder why livedit loves men so much!

[quote author=Mrs.Chima link=topic=635811.msg8033329#msg8033329 date=1301678588]I hear you Mrs. Livedit You walking funny girl? Well, if the Mister is a minute man and you happy with that. Do you girl.

Reality suck my manliness.

Mz. Darkskin handle your business sis!

Okay, I will be back later.

Some of us do not have to beg for money nor dicks. [/quote] You are so funny girl. You and MzDark. Nawl, the mister don't have this problem. But livedit has been with a guy who was a "minute man" before in the past. livedit is veeerrrry blessed with her new hubby.

I'm still unclear on what advice are you seeking?  Frankly, after reading your story, if it was me, I wouldn't want nothing to do with this girl.  But first I would forgive her and then let her go.  I mean, how she walking around, "infected" sleeping with people, won't go see a reputable physician that maybe could offer better medical care in hopes of curing this "infection".  Then with a half lame illiterate excuse as to why she contracted this incurable disease was via a toilet seat.   And she pregnant on top of all this??

I know some people might say or think livedit will sound harsh for saying this, but this is soulful irresponsibility and very poor negligence on BOTH of your parts.  On the other hand, I do have to say, I do applaud you for going to seek treatment and suggest treatment for her.  Sounds like you do care for her.  But the way it seems to me, I think you need to care about yourself a little bit more in this case.  There is no way I would be that heartless and evil to lay down with a man and don't tell him I have a disease, even if I'm not sure if it is a disease or an infection I would let my partner know.  That's the mature and responsible thing to do.  And I wouldn't never suggest "intimacy" without protection.  That was very careless no matter how you slice it.

I truly hope and pray everything works out for you and that you are able to continually seek better treatment for yourself.  It's better that you found out now, than to be walking around spreading this "infection" to others.  Do she even realize that for the rest of her life, she will have to let her future partner(s) know that she have a incurable disease.  That's one thing that is not easily and definitely not pleasing to do.

What's sup Mrs. Chima!  

Livedit don't discriminate.  As someone mentioned earlier, most "one minute" cases can be cured and/or worked with.  I've never heard of any man "pumping" for hours on end with a woman.  This is why it is very important sometimes (time alotted) to take things slow to work on a slow build so that each partner can savor each and every moment so you can truly enjoy your partner.  Fourplay is a woman's (and can be man's) best friend.  I'm sure many of us are familiar with the "stop and pull" technique or switching things up.  If not, don't hurt to learn it if you are in a situation like this.

I'm with iice on this one. Livedit don't particulary care for being "whistled" at. I'd prefer a direct respectable approach.

What the? Is this kindegarden school? How old are you? Why not tell her that the relationship is not working out for you and you want to end your relationship? That way, you can show that you do have dignity and being a man about it. Don't go picking useless dumb fights just to break it off with someone. If she asks why, then you can respectfully reiterate why you two aren't a good match. But picking a fight to end it with your girl is something, excuse me, but a "punk" way of getting out of something. Do you pick a fight with your boss when you want to quit the job? You easily say, flat out, I'm resigning or I quit. Not going in there complaining or picking a fight. Please show maturity when ending this. Whatever happens after you tell her it's over, is on her. You told her how you felt and it's over. Don't go out with some useless drama garbage.

It's not an issue of getting angry or jealous.  I'd need to know the circumstances as to why they are still in contact with each other like that.  Now, if they have children/kid together, then why would I get mad.  They have to communicate with each other.  Or if they were out some where and bumped into each other and chatted for a second, then that's cool.  BUT if they still "kicking it" or "chlling" together, then we got some problems.  That is why they are an "ex" as another poster pointed out.  They are apart of the past and should remain there.

I always thought it would be a little bit easier to exchange email addresses if you don't feel comfortable asking for his/her phone number right then.  That way you can feel a little bit more at ease in the comfort of your own home.  (Granted you have several email accounts set-up) That way if it don't work out, you won't have to worry about this person calling you or sending unsolicited emails to you.   But if it is working out between you two and the time is right, then ask for his/her phone number.

My worse fear will be to live in fear of what all of what has been mentioned by the other posters.

I agree with the others. Yes, rather knowingly or unknowingly. You are human and nobodies perfect.

The same as if she cheated on him with another man.  Cheating is cheating regardless if it is with the same sex.  If anything, that makes it worse!  I'm trying not to go bible here, but same sex relationship sex IS and abomination.  It's worse than a sin to God.  Then to top it all off, you married too?  I feel, if you not happy or no longer want to be in your marriage then why not just divorce and leave?  Breaking your vows (promises) and betraying your spouse is straight up wrong.  And I feel, that's up to the person betrayed if they want to stay and work it out in their marriage.  Again, cheating is cheating no matter if it's with the same sex or not.