₦airaland Forum

You might not leave him, but there is no guarantee you won’t cheat. Where do you put emotion, temptation, lust? I have heard ladies say ‘…ah, but he swept me off my feet, I simply could not resist’. On the other hand, are you saying you will learn to love him in time?

It just sounds like a sad thing to do, I may be wrong but it seems the only thing holding you is the fact that you are ‘grateful’. No passion, no nothing, just duty and children probably, plus you would have denied yourself something great.

And if you get married to someone who loves you more, and later meet someone you love, what happens?

Franky boy:
Mostimes women are desperate to get married,basically due to security reasons, financial security, emotional security, physical security(cos they know they fade fast like d sunset), and when married, they put all d security burden on a man and take his name in exchange for the burden, dont get me wrong here, i do not mean women do not contribute to a home financially and otherwise, but their mind is now in a state of absolute rest(and dats why they easily blow up, even without eating)
. And for you brothers, thats when you know the innate character of most women(most times u re shocked at how callous nd terrible they can be). So ladies cut that crap of sharing your love with someone nd bla bla bla, women re basically the happiest on their wedding day, inrespective of what they feel for a man, cos now they have got a life mugu, while they can now be madams nd express all their negative attributes.

MEN BEWARE: Marriage should not be rushed into cos of feminine pressure, societal pressure,or love pressure(cos reality always dawns),u should be aware of what you are going into, women always do change, nd most times for the worse.Marriage is the biggest school of life,it teaches you of the infallibility and inconsistency of the human nature.Its never a destination,its a journey, nd d road can get bumby at times.

Hmm, interesting perspective, sad but true.

@ Poster
I don’t think getting married means settling down, as I have seen too many cases of people getting married for the wrong reasons i.e. young unsettled boy and young girl in a relationship get married because girl gets pregnant. No plan, no preparation, but a rushed event to prevent shame.

Now that is a welcome development. Kudos to the Government of Enugu State, finally someone is thinking about the masses/employment/indigenous technology.

This is the type of news we should be hear about Nigeria, It means there is a future for us after all.

Wow, now that’s a warrior woman for you.


It is possible she feels something lacking from the relationship I.e. maybe you haven’t been showing her affection lately. Look for ways to re-assure her the way to feel about her, picture her as this new hot chic in your life and spoil her. You probably know the things that make her happy, now is the time to start doing them to prevent further embarrassment.


The logic is if you prove to her you are still crazy about her, she won’t need to fight to assert ownership. But then again, what do I know?

Give her an opportunity to mention all the other things she 'forgot' to tell you before you arrive at a decision, taking time to reflect also on things you should have told her.


We are all human, and as this might just be a careless omission on her part, it alone should not prevent you from the beautiful marriage this could well be.

Slow your roll girl, still with milk on your tongue and you initially thought of getting married.

Why don’t you look for more constructive things to do with you life first, like as someone said, read your books, starting now?

upendo 98:
Hey guys come on.

We don't come with much. ok this is not in all cases but few,
Carrying 3 kids in our wombs and the whole process of nurturing the babies surpasses any amount of cash.
I told you a woman claimed more and used the term 'wear and tear' on her body to justify her case.
Well after all the man was determined nt to give her anything cz she was a housewife.She said she was 'hot and shapely'
when she married but the process of bringing up kids destroyed her physique and she may nt get a suitor very soon!
she was compensated!!! well

3 Kids?  I was thinking of a whole tribe.
Ok, maybe just a football team 

If she completes me, and I know she will help create wealth not just squander, I won’t bother with a pre-nup. That way, if we go our separate ways later in life, she will be rewarded. Quote ‘behind every successful man, there is a woman’.


However, if she is an ‘airhead or a trophy-wife’ and the attraction is mainly physical, then will definitely sign up for one. Will still compensate her with something, the difference is, it will come out of my heart’s generosity.

Ileke-IdI:
Well, some cancers are heredity, so I understand.

I wouldnt marry a dude with family history of hair baldness either.

A little harsh, don’t you think? Are you perfect? Even the so called ‘stars’ have flaws.

@ poster


Your friend should tell her fiancée to ‘man up’ and assert himself in front of his parents. I mean he has a child on the way. If he doesn’t, then she should keep the Baby, he might come back begging after Karma deals with him, I don’t support abortion.

190:

An old man with small kids'

His mates kid's already are in the University

Keep drawing comparism to one ugly man with long neck

every where Baraku Baraku Baraku

People cant sleep at home at nite cos of Baraku 

Ha ha ha, ROFLMAO.
Well, he didn't have a kid till 6 years later. Don't hate the man; he set a record for blacks.
Just saying a man needs to be mature enough to understand the implications, thereby avoiding infidelity and a broken home. As a friend once put it, you need to understand the life sentence before you commit.

ginky:
I really like the responses I am getting to my question. Thanks y'all

@ Omo Alaro- You really made a good decision by marrying at 26. Most guys these days can't imagine marrying that early, thumbsup .

@ poster
Lemme guess, you are now armed with ‘machinery’ for the boyfriend/girlfriend?

@ OP, 2.2 isn't the end of the world; your friend just needs to be more determined than ever to make it in life.

We all have talents (Our calling), and we can only be truly successful when we discover and follow what ours is. After all, what we are taught in school was discovered by someone (Their own talent). Education just fast tracks us, bypassing the wrong results to arrive at the established result. Except, in the process, we discover a completely new one (innovation). That's why you hear terms like 'best practice' as there isn't always one solution.

Take this simple analogy 1+1=2. The Mathematician that discovered this must have tried putting 1+1 to get 3 or 4 and realized it could only lead to 2. So you are taught this in school and expected to memorize this through examinations. Each time you get it wrong, you are only repeating a mistake the original person made.

My point is a 2.2 student can still follow all the known paths i.e. 1+1=2, and discover a new one/innovate, if that’s his calling. It could also be in another field, music, movies, e.t.c. You must have heard of Millionaires today who dropped out from school and still came out successful, No?

Bottom-line: You don't drown by falling in water, but by staying there.

With advances in science, women can have babies much later in life than before, so don't see what the big fuss is.

For those of you who feel that men are sexually frustrated after 27, may it be so for you. Haven't you seen randy old men in their 50's? Ever heard of the 'blue pill' for older men?

28 - 30-ish feels about the right time for a man.

Barack Obama married when he was about 30 or 31. His wife, Michelle about 28.

rafhell:
you guys are jobless

says the person who isn't, but still had time to read, scroll down, click reply and type a comment 

tyough:
I have read through many peoples comments and I must say this

1. In life, you make your choices, it is neither easy in Nigeria nor UK
whether you stay in Nigeria or you go to the UK, you will have to hustle to succeed.
It is about your mindset. Yes ofcourse things are not easy in the UK, but I can say the process is rewarding as it builds you mentally for more difficult things you might face later in life. (same way the hustle in nigeria builds you as well)

2. When people make statements like "your mates in Nigeria have gone ahead of you" to me that makes no sense (is it the car they are driving, the house they bought or what?) because it just takes one day for your circumstances to change (e.g Goodluck Jonathan). It just take one day for the opportunity to come and if you are prepared to grab it, your life can turn around 180 degrees and all of a sudden you will overtake all those "so called mates", bottom line we are all on different tracks/paths in life, while some are on a slope now others are on a flat road and other at a bend. so there is no basis for comparing yourselves, it is not about UK or Nigeria.

3. If your dream is to get quality education and add value to your country in the future, GO AHEAD, just have it at the back of your mind that the difference with Nigeria and UK is that there are more black people in Nigeria and Smoother roads or more sophisticated technology in the UK.

4. In terms of Jobs, it is not by location but by grace, there are still a lot of people in Nigeria that graduated many years ago and they are still looking for jobs, same in the UK, while others had a job in Nigeria, resigned and went to the UK and still got one there. It is simply by grace not power nor intelligence nor planning nor wisdom.

All that matters is that we all reach our destinations at the end, irrespective of which route you find yourself on now, no matter how difficult it seems, whether you are in Nigeria, UK or Honolulu, just keep your eyes on God and your dreams will be fulfilled. One day you will tell the story.


Ty
http://me2igetblog.
www.standnetwork.com

Busted: Ain't no guy like TY

@ Roland17


It is possible. Assuming he was the adventurous male who saw mummy and daddy doin’ it/watched animals on discovery channel mate, and decided to practice it on the house girl? No offense intended.


Or someone older fancied him (say his senior sisters friend) and decided to try him?


Point is, there are lots of sick people out there (p.e.d.o.p.h.i.l.e.s.), maybe not too many in Naija, but out here man, u can never tell.


As someone rightly said, the fact he doesn’t want to disclose any more details speaks for itself, u guys should give him the benefit of the doubt and advise him on the main issue.

Roland17:
Nairaland and exaggeration, why nollywood no go blossom, with creative story tellers like this one, do you mean you had sex wen you were 8yrs? common man, we don old pass that lie.that lie don spoil the story, better luck next time,

@ poster; more kudos to your elbow on your vow. Please don't rush into anything yet, particularly as you have waited this long.

@ Roland 17, don't know how true this is but:


At what age do boys start having erections?
In: Male Puberty [Edit categories]

Improve
Answer:
There isn't a 'set age' when a boy gets an erection; it can happen at ANY age in a male's life, and yes, that includes babyhood. When young boys have them, they're not necessarily caused by being sexually excited, but they CAN occur. Most boys start getting erections because they are sexually aroused around the age of 12 or 13, although it can be earlier or later.


NEVER make fun of a boy for getting an erection! If you notice, pretend you didn't. The boy is probably really embarrassed as it is. Every guy gets an erection sometime.



Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/At_what_age_do_boys_start_having_erections#ixzz1OtApqjGC

Prefer Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End to the first two. Still consider it better than the latest one.

Also prefer Chronicles of Riddick to Pitch Black.

Yeah BB’s suck.

Gave me iPhone 4 out last time I was to Naija, replaced it with a BB Torch 9800 when I got back because of the hype in Naija and out of plain curiosity. Couldn’t stand it after 2 days, so went back to my first love, the iPhone 4. Still got d BB, but now use it as my landline, ‘cos it never leaves the house.

There are phones and there are phones, Blackberries are just good for pinging that’s all.

nigerhead:
, DBanj has now fully gone illuminati , , no offeince ,

Congrats to him, hope he doesn't start flashing triangle signs, one-eyed signs and that darned goat head symbol

His intentions are good I know, but people who try to do too many things at once usually end up not accomplishing any because of reasons like people not wanting to play, humans are not very rational.

Strategically speaking, he should have gone for planned (step-by-step) transformational change, rather than radical, as people are unpredictable in their behaviour; selfish; self-willed and self-determining and so can disrupt even what might be in their best interest. In conclusion, he has created more enemies than friends. He is INDEED a brave man, we need more people like him and may God be with him.

“It must be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to plan, more uncertain of success, nor more dangerous to manage than the creation of a new order of things. For the initiator has the enmity of all who would profit by the preservation of the old institutions, and merely lukewarm defenders in those who would gain by the new ones.” (Machiavelli, The Prince 1513)

@ Jakumo

ROTFLMAO

We are a resilient people, as shown through our history. Despite all the problems we have faced and our differences, we still believe things will get better and are still together as ONE nation.

We are a happy people, from the hawkers dodging traffic in the streets of Lagos to our politicians, you do not hear of suicides when compared to the western world. We also value family, and so are often never ‘alone’ and devoid of human contact.

Hope this helps  

iyatrustee:
@ long one, the questions arent for the first date now

Hmm, fair enough.

Err, would still be tempted to lie my way through as opposed to my taking the initiative. Then again, the truth would depend on how comfortable I am with the relationship.

True, it takes a lot of hard work!!!

What happened to waiting for the man to feel comfortable enough with you, before revealing his innermost thoughts?

I know if you ask me those questions, I will tell you exactly what you want to hear based on my perception of you. Making sure it does not affect any of my current ‘interests’

You can paint a pretty picture, but you can't predict the weather (Outcast-Ms Jackson)

Just loose her, there are many more fishes in the ocean

duduspace:
In the midst of superflous abundance some people do hunger while in the midst of intense drought, some folk do exceedingly prosper. All we can do as humans is to strive to manifest the latter and not the former and hope that god/favour/luck/time and chance favour us. Whichever of them you choose to believe in. None of them offer any iron clad guarantees and that is why I find life interesting. 

Word man!

190:

Very true -- Its a wonderful experience and to be sincere, its very worth it cos nothing in life comes easy

I believe it all comes down to what fate has for you, Just as many who study managed to get Jobs after their msc, several others have not been so fortunate

If the UK is to tedious for you, then relocate else where into europe after your msc.

True, you need to shine your eye, the naija way

1soul:
Hi all, I'm a fresh graduate of Urban and Regional Planning from Federal University of Technology Yola in Nigeria, I'm presently making arrangements to travel to Scotland for an Msc in Project Management, Robert Gordon Uniiversity to be precise. I intend to pay the complete tuition fees on enrollment. Will u advice me to go ahead when all i'll be having left on arrival will be a little less than 2000 pounds to carter for my cost of living? Will I be able to foot/maintain my cost of living by doing any casual job while schooling as regards the 20hrs/week stipulated for "Tier 4" Universities?
Please I need advice, though I don't plan to stay back there after graduation, I just need my Msc in that course and a foreign one at that, I will be rounding up my NYSC by June Next year and hope to leave by September same year, A friend in Scotland told me its possible but i still need your candid advice on the issue, Expecting your response!

Well, it is a risk, but from my experience, one worth it. I was one of the lucky ones who like you, came from a Federal University of Technology to study a Masters here immediately after Youth Service and on completion, got a Graduate level job.

I paid all my fees before I came, and was able to support myself through a part-time job I got with my University. Things are difficult here, but on occasions when I was financially down and red-eyed, my parents were able to help me. I cannot lie to you, it was not an easy experience, I lost most of my hair, as a result of the stress it took balancing working with studying. The occasional late-night warehouse/factory jobs, coupled with lectures in the morning, coffee helped a lot.
Like I said, it is hard, but it is possible. Only you can make that choice, you need to expect the best, but prepare yourself for the worst. Whatever you decide to do, do not look back.

Having said this, my post-study visa runs out at the end of this year, and though my Company promised to sponsor me, with Cameron’s new laws, not sure yet. Any, which way, it has been an interesting experience and can’t wait to apply my knowledge back home whenever that may be.

Don't use this site often, but:

50% Benue (Paternal) + 50% Ogun (Maternal) = 100% Nigerian (best of both worlds without any tribe’s negative traits)

Geez man, why would you want to leave your wife, over a short affair?

Try to re-ignite your love. Think of your wife’s qualities and what attracted you to her in the first place. Most importantly, think of your kids. Would you want them to grow up not balanced, torn between two parents?

What ever you decide, in future, keep junior in your pants.