₦airaland Forum

Ariza:
I wonder why it affects most Men when women earn higher. If you create geninue bond , respect, friendship and love between you and your woman, little material things like 'earnings' shouldn't create insecurity in you or gaps in your relationship/marriage. A woman who loves you will never disregard you. Work towards creating unbreakable bond with your partner then you will not have to worry about them earning more.


I'm directing this to men because most of you do not know how to create lasting impression but will wail, cry, throw trantrums when replaced.

You're one closet chauvinist; you always use every little opportunity to disparage men subtly.

LedRock:
So female billionaires in dollars will get married to who? So if Alice Walton who is worth over $40billion have to marry someone richer

Don't mind all these small-minded people. A true well-to-do and/or ethically sound person can never base their respect, and goodness in general, for others on money/material things.

anytexy:
Your head dey there bro. No your papa born you. you collected the word from my mouth.
You understand the game.

That has been my fear.
And Supreme Court also.
Remember Emeka Ihedioha IMO state

Elections are always won or lost on technicality in every clime where politics of principle and conviction are alien - of course, court of law is part and parcel of the technicality. All he needs to do now is assemble and oil a subterranean force, if truly he wishes to emerge victorious in the end.

If he can find his way around INEC and the police, he'll emerge victorious in the general election.

safarigirI:

Disciplinarian general of Nairaland.

Biglittlelois:
You know why.

Henceforth, I've taken it as a responsibility to fashion you the way I want you to be - decorum is your portion. LOL.

Mariangeles:
They should leave this dude alone.
Football has barely even started, and the media has already begun to stir hate. Ronaldo is always their favourite target.

Avid fan of Ronaldo spotted, we the fans of any winning team/star at any given time have seen someone to visit our anger whenever he fails to deliver.

Biglittlelois:
I'm really pissed at you, but it's ok.

Why?

We still have a very long way to go before we can entrench true democracy in the country because quasi-democracy is what we have in place at the moment.

Biglittlelois:
Somehow, I am the chauvinistic person with a victim mentality and other labels, but you fail to acknowledge Op's stereotype of Nigerian females when taken abroad, how crass and disgusting of you,

For every reaction, whether positive or negative, there must have been a trigger, e.g, a thread some weeks ago was on FP about a man who married his wife before traveling abroad, when in naija, he admitted to treating his wife badly, and when she moved abroad to be with him, she got her revenge though in a terrible way, my point being, humans tend to mostly behave based on feelings and emotions about an ordeal, either sad, happy, hurtful, etc, actions begat reactions, which can lead to other things,

You, a Nigerian man, is expected to know what i mean by "treating his wife right" when you know how this society works, but cos you want to be a chauvinistic sexist, you have to make it all about men,

1) most men here cheat and claim it's their right, nothing is done about it,
2) During divorce, the wives and children is driven out of the house with no property to her name, so she has to start all over again,

3) For child support, in most instances, the man is required to pay, say, #5000 for five kids, how realistic is that?

4) For domestic violence, the man will be reported, the man will bribe his way out of jail, and that is the end of it, except when death happens to both genders,

So many instances and more, so why do you think Op is scared of bringing a naija wife abroad if not that he wants to eat his cake as it use to be in naija, and have it? Why cant he have a positive thinking regarding females here and hope or pray for the best?


You guys must always have something to complain about ladies if it doesnt 100% favour you, ladies are making a stand lately seeing that marriage is not to die for, y'all are wailing all over the place,

Like I said earlier, if you treat your wife right, you have nothing to worry about, treat her wrongly, face whatever happens after.

I'm certain you know the reason why I'll pity you. Eschew chauvinism and crassness henceforth, else . . . I'll send you hot e-slap.

Biglittlelois:
You guys are funny lots sha, dating ladies abroad who are aware of the divorce option is okay to you, but bringing a wife abroad from here who becomes aware of the divorce option is a problem to you, why? Why are you scared of that? If you treat your wife right do you think the thought of divorce will cross her mind? Here you guys behave anyhow to your wife because you know the law favours you, and you still want to continue the stupid intimidating evil behaviour because you feel she owes you for bringing her abroad? Smell the coffee dude, pick a better poison and live humbly with it, or stay single and be a baby papa, the world is full of choices.

Ignorance and sentiment are heavily written all over this post. Dem never tell you say if de carry a monkey from Oyinboland come Naija, and vice versa, it will still behave like a monkey. For your little mind, someone wey de greedy for money or power for instance go automatically begin de behave like a fair-minded person once you treat am well in de midst of abundance and/or unrestricted freedom. Your "if you treat her right . . . " sure means a man must be ready to kowtow for his woman for peace to reign, since some of una don't know wetin decorum be as evident in this your post.

Some of you (males and females in this chauvinistic battle) de always think say na only de gender una belong get sense. Abeg, sense doesn't know gender. Avoid always seeing things from a chauvinistic POV, it does make you look petty.

A sensible person can't be caught continually making biased utterances and doesn't need to abuse others to feel important. Enough of this crassness and victim mentality.

bukatyne:
I agree with you.

It is easier to throw money at issues/people than invest emotions in them.

Mama de mama! You get unmarried sister wey be like you? No vex, I de ask on behalf of my friend wey no sabi use Internet.

aeion:
True

I am going to open both my bank account and firewall of my emotion for you. LOL.

GuyInTheMirror:
You have to understand that there is something called personal preference.

Don't allow that person to guilt trip you to doom. Direct opposite of a crass and/or expedient woman (man) isn't a close-minded/servile woman as the person makes it seem, but a conscientious/fair-minded/principled woman and you can find her almost everywhere.

Consider to limit your need in a woman to 1 or 2 core attributes, when you do, you'll see that you can find her almost everywhere, this forum and North America inclusive. It takes a lot though to differentiate attribute from superficial attribute because a little mistake you'll fall for that you didn't bargain for or that you dreaded.

Ishilove:
Nairaland men are a piece of work. You people are always talking down on women and bashing us, but any guy who celebrates women and encourages the menfolk to treat us like the queens we are is labelled a 'simp'. This is quite shameful.

Your first sentence alone is repulsive enough to earn you a disparagement and any Nairaland man who chooses to do so in this instance, or in a similar scenario elsewhere, is not at fault, but I'll spare you since I know that you can do better under normal circumstances.

Truth is that, no sane man will ever treat a conscientious woman poorly, and only a conscientious woman who has altruistic interest in her man deserves continual queenly treatment/worship. However, treat a crass and expedient woman like a queen continually, she'll wittingly or unwittingly take you for granted and ruin you in the long run.

One who comes into equity should always strive to come with clean hands.

Indians and suicide are like 5&6.

aeion:
1. Lying about virginity isn't cool. I wouldn't appreciate such trickery/deception, if I were a man. I hope you at least received an heartfelt apology.

2. Praying for problems/harm to come your way is deplorable. I don't condone cheating at all, but I wouldn't pray for problems/harm to befall the man either.

3. Based on #1 & #2, the lack of respect is no surprise. I'm assuming it wasn't long ago that you got married, which means the respect likely wasn't there before the marriage. In any case, building or rebuilding it will require efforts from both of you.

You're on point as always.

Reno's assertion is correct, but it shouldn't be a reason for anyone to take to stinginess. The fact that you don't owe your girlfriend, and vice versa, a financial obligation, doesn't mean that you shouldn't be financially generous, and good in general, to her. You only have to make sure that you always do so voluntarily and altruistically. Courtesy is what every sane person owes fellow sane human beings, whether or not the person has affinity and special bond with them, so it's not enough to sustain a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship renews energy, it never drains it.

Your girlfriend, however, doesn't deserve a healthy relationship and its benefits, if your account about what transpired between two of you is true. Her action has shown that she was with you for material benefits.

hashtagged:
How is rape involved in this, stupid stereotypes so every guy is already a rapist

My submission isn't for a bumpkin like you - OP I didn't call you a rapist.

Now direct your further mention(s) to small-minded people like you.

KlausMichaelson:
Please where do u see this connotations. I'll be glad to see it from your perspective honestly. I know how a little mistake can render something good to become bad.... I'll be glad if you can tell me why you think so. Thanks

Our fortes and abilities aren't always automatically the same. Once more, you aren't an evil person, but you've your shortcomings, like everyone of us, so consider what I said in the last paragraph of my last post.

Mariangeles:
Really? Small world.

Don't family-zone me yet, I said almost. LOL.

KlausMichaelson:
Please Don't get me wrong. I will do some modifications on my post. The word Egocentric should have been misplaced with Self respect in that context. I respect myself so much. And I'm not a selfish as many here thinks.

As a student, I conduct Tutorials for free. I sacrifice my precious time for people all the time in the name of helping them academically. She is not the only one. What I only meat was self respect not *Egocentric*.

Anyways I appreciate your advice. I learnt something. And honestly my Good deeds are out of altruism. Thanks

There's no doubt that you aren't an evil person. However, your deeds so far aren't from the place of altruism, you may not accept it wittingly or unwittingly, but it's there in the connotation of your message. I can tell you what will happen between two of you if you leave things they way they are now and continue with your actions and inactions.

Zero your deeds for her to conscientiousness only, don't go neither below nor above it for the good of two of you. You need a lot of willpower to make this to happen.

Mariangeles:
Sometimes, you don't seem Nigerian
Are you?

Not when you and I are almost from the same village. LOL.

If only she knows that you're a self-interest/egoistic person by nature, I'm glad that you acknowledged it yourself. Truth is that, you aren't an altruistic person and your good deeds have never been from the place of altruism. She'll soon become your worst enemy, no thanks to your ethical leanings and her naivety about your nature.

Redefine your interest in her and tell her your intention and philosophy without mincing words and be honourable enough to accept her decision in good faith, whether or not it will be favourable to you. Your failure to do this fast will make you to mete out psychopathic act against her in the near future directly or indirectly.

Most rape and murder cases always start like this. Be warned.

I do find it funny, yet irritating and derisive, when people, especially close relations and associates, fail to accept the bitter truth that I'm liable to the normal everyday life struggles and difficulties, like everyone else. My stoic and altruistic nature is the cause of it though, and I do retaliate by mounting them off with my close-emotional defence when their actions and inactions drain me too much, which isn't the best of thing to do to close and loved ones. Of course, I do feel weird to people when I mount them off.

Fountainofyouth:
No wonder

LOL. Trouble maker.

Personally, no. It's easier to penetrate into my bank account than to approach or penetrate the firewall of my emotion. So, it depends on each individual because all of us aren't of the same temperament and ethical leanings.

bukatyne:
We are still getting to 100%

LordKO stopped at 98%

@bold:

Hahahahahahahaha!

Even the OP is funny.

85% of married women

I don't believe 85% of married men cheat sef.

Make una no vex, na joke de woman de joke. Me I only helped her with statistics and wording here, it's nothing serious.

@sassysure, I de wonder where you see vex for my reply.

sassysure:
Me ke?
Noooo!

I was trying to be logical na.
I qouted her cos she is married and if she is like me and some other married women here, non of us will like to cheat with an unmarried men so that only left us with married men. Men with full matured girth that will make you never to regret cheating and with much money than we have ever seen before.


And them husbands will never find out.
Aren't we lucky and blessed?

You will wound yourself here if you insist and continue with a logic like this "Men with full matured girth that will make you never to regret cheating and with much money than we have ever seen before.


And them husbands will never find out."