₦airaland Forum

UjuJoan2:
Yea, but what about people who 'unintentionally' cruel? Maybe out of bad habits or dysfunctional upbringing?

No one can be unintentionally cruel because of bad habits or dyfunctional upbringing - anyone in this category always acts intentionally or impulsively, so it's all about wickedness or heartlessness.

Meanwhile, people who are/can be unintentionally cruel are people who've mental disorder and people who've mental illness. People in the former category abound everywhere, including this forum, and the first step towards putting up with them, near or afar, is understanding their condition. Personally, I've affinity for people who've two particular mental disorders. Don't try putting up with one if you don't have the knack. People in the latter category however are best left for psychiatric homes to manage them.

@Mariangeles

I know you're revelling because of this small win today. Anyway, your team tried, even though an ordinary village primary school team can defeat this Norwich side, all things being equal.

I give it to crass and expedient women/wannabe feminists - real feminists can't be caught manifesting such a malady.

In fact, wannabe woke people (men and women) carry the same malady, albeit in different variations.

UjuJoan2:
So what's your advice if one party is giving much more than the other? Not because he or she is being wicked, but probably because they don't know better.

Indulging such a person and their weakness is very good/necessary because perfection is of the creator of the world - conscientiousness doesn't equate to perfection, just as altruism doesn't to equate foolishness.

One clear difference between the weakness of a fair-minded person and intentional wrong of a wicked/heartless person is that, while the former doesn't take pride in his/her action, the latter always takes pride in his/her own action openly or secretly.

UjuJoan2:
This is th5w origin of most martial squabbles. When you start assessing what you spouse do or do not deserve.

Why not just do what you can, and choose to live above all that other stuff?

In any case, buying gas is fundamentally a man's duty. Just like putting on the generator, car repairs, electrical e.t.c Anything that will require extra strength, because biologically men are stronger.

We have a serious problem with marriages in this era; by the time a family man will think he is doing his wife a favour by buying gas . . Too bad!

No, both or one of the spouses who's either a proponent but non-practitioner of the golden rule or non-proponent and non-practitioner of the golden rule is always the cause of every marital squabbles.

Say yes to the golden rule, in positive, and say no to false wokeness. One who comes into equity should always strive to come with clean hands.

A healthy marital union/relationship will always remain one where mutual altruism and conscientiousness reign supreme over egoism, imperiousness and perfidiousness - in order words, reciprocation of goodness, not necessarily is equal and proportional measure, is the soul of every healthy union.

Ariza:
Should I send mine too? I'm serious o

Send me your CV through this email, if truly you studied Computer Engineering; you can also include your Whatsapp number. Don't include this email if quoting this message because I'll remove it afterward.

The woman you described there isn't a humble woman; rather, she's a hypocritically disingenuous woman.

If you'll have peace of mind living with a woman who's your frenemy, go ahead with her, but if you won't, then leave her with alacrity.

Ariza:
Lol.. my stomach don dey ache from laughing so hard. . please next time no dey change the meat of your argument anyhow again.

Well Sunday dey go jare, if not for the online sermon I listened to, today would have been like just any other day here. So amazing how a virus can change so many things. Lol how's your side? How's everything?

Dis one wey be say you listened to online sermon, I hope say you give offering. No go use church money go buy Brazilian hair wigs.

I de fine.

Ariza:
"meat of your argument"

Is it saaki or ponmo?

Wetin person no go read for Nl nitori olorun?

Trouble maker! How de Sunday de go?

tomdon:
You don't necessarily have to cast aspersions before driving home your point.
You actually changed the meat of your arguement by including your character to include Male and female alike which was the point I tried nailing in my previous response, how dominating your female counterpart just cos they are female is not the best.

Take your victim mentality elsewhere. My contribution didn't warrant argument, so I didn't change "the meat of my argument." As a matter of fact, I expressed my libertarian and egalitarian positions in the second paragraph of that post but you wittingly or unwittingly ignored it, as an obvious conceited and pseudo-libertarian person you're. So, I should be the one to say, don't cast aspersions on my person or anyone else next time. If you don't understand something ask question rather than resorting to derision.

Go and sin no more OK.

Stupid thing is for stupid people; a sane person won't take pride doing a stupid thing.

Plan, however, doesn't negate spontaneity. So, one can always create lasting memories by being spontaneous/living life on the periphery of conventionalism - this doesn't require stupidity to achieve.

In summary, one doesn't need to be bad to be adventurous/live life to the fullest. Maybe, you can now preach about mastering the art of bending the rule without breaking the law correctly.

tomdon:
Why must a man be dominant??
You don't have to dominate to be a man
It is that faulty quest to be dominant that makes you domineering and unable to survive with able females.

Stop sounding like a wannabe libertarian. A ship doesn't sail itself; to be dominant is to be in charge - and dominance is epicene. Liberty without decorum is a disease. People don't become dominant because they've quest to dominate others - dominance, in this regard, is about positive influence, so it isn't the same thing as subjugation.

He/she who's the most conscientious person in any sane interpersonal setting always automatically becomes the dominant person in that setting directly or indirectly, and others who're sane usually fall in line with him/her voluntarily.

Dominance doesn't breed domineeringness. A principled man or woman always radiates dominance, while a self-centred man or woman always radiates domineeringness, so neither equate a principled person to a self-centered person nor mix-up dominance with domineeringness. Domineeringness personifies toxicity, while dominance personifies decorum/stability.

At the risk of sounding immodest, as a man who has always had the best of/most able women voluntarily walking and working with me on my philosophy anywhere I go, I say avoid sounding like a wannabe libertarian henceforth. Your weak posit shows that you don't know or have what it takes to walk the walk without being hurt and without being the direct reason someone will feel hurt. Some of you like to argue unnecessarily, anyway that's the hallmark of mental parochial people.

It's obvious that he's a domineering/egomaniac man - not a possessive man. One thing people who possess these two different personalities share in common is their penchant for subjugation - a domineering person is as toxic as a possessive person.

If you value your liberty above other things, and abhor thuggery, walk away from the relationship. However, if you don't mind taking to thuggery or kowtowing, stay put with him.

Don't mistake a domineering/egomaniac (overbearing) man for a dominant man - the former personifies toxicity while the latter personifies stability.

Damedu:
first name initial U
middle A
surname. A

thanks

Send me a DM if you studied Computer Engineering.

If you don't mind, tell me the initials of your first name, middle name and surname here. I need the information because I want to make sure that you'll not present another person in case you don't qualify for the opportunity I intend to present to you.

bukatyne:
@Bold:

On point

- When a man treats a submissive (humble and selfless) wife with love, she knows that he does so from the place of strength, not weakness, because it takes strength, not weakness, to be submissive too - here a man has a friend.

- When a man treats a contentious (crass and expedient/perfidious) wife with love, she assumes that he fears her and takes him for granted because to her love is a sign of weakness, not strength. To her, she has subjugated him - here a man has an open oppressor and enemy as a wife.

- When a man treats a servile/disingenuous (pretentious and expedient/perfidious) wife with love, she takes him for a fool/assumes that it's a sign of potency of her slyness and continues to kowtow for him. I'm sorry for men who aren't masters of their ego - here a man has a frenemy as a wife, a time bomb waiting for explosion once he has a small setback. 

Of course, it's the same thing with small variation when you reverse the genders.

Fountainofyouth:
This one nor follow, gas na gas, it has nothing to do with the behaviour/personality of the woman, besides, you are not doing her a favour, you are doing it for the benefit of the family.

Perhaps it's an individual thing, because I relate and treat people based on their behaviour/personality. Meanwhile, if I'm not doing her a favour, she's equally not doing me a favour.

A family to me is one where mutual altruism and conscientiousness reign supreme over egoism, perfidiousness and imperiousness - let's say no to false wokeness. Love is an equal variant of submission.

No, for a contentious wife - a crass and expedient woman doesn't deserve such.

Yes, for a submissive wife - a fair-minded/aristocratic woman deserves the best.

He's right since what's in place is "sentiment-cracy" rather than democracy - it's only in true democracy that one can say; power is not given it has to be taken.

Wike as a maverick person has always strived to be conscientious in his dealings with everyone.

You need to find out whether or not your mother's character caused their separation, and you need to make sure that his carefree attitude towards you and your siblings isn't caused by you and your siblings sentimental support for your mother. If you can crack the truth on these issues, the problem will be half-solved.

Regardless of your findings, you've no locus standi to sue him. Make peace with him through diplomacy instead of manipulation/force. Of course, you need to squash your sense of entitlement mentality and focus on your personal emancipation, since he has already seen you and your siblings through uni, citing your submission.

Belafonte:
Stop arguing with yourself.

I want a woman who’s going to appreciate me for who I am, not what I can provide. If women would rather marrying rich men, I really have no problem with that tbh. Just don’t come and be forming love, knowing I would disgust you if I were broke

"Just don’t come and be forming love, knowing I would disgust you if I were broke" succinctly worded @Belafonte - unfortunately that's the hallmark of perfidious (expedient) people. 

Meanwhile, every sane person knows the importance of money and doesn't need crass and expedient elements to remind them of it - if as a person you need someone to remind you of the importance of success, you simply lack grit and common sense. Sane people don't allow money to define them, even when they've it in abundance. Of course, it's only a foolish and spineless man who'll allow a crass and expedient woman to share his crown with him. 

To every ethically sound (good) woman here or out there, don't allow any small-minded person to guilt trip you to immorality, because sane wealthy men marry ethically sound women every other day. As a matter of fact, true well-to-do people never base their respect, and goodness in general, for others on money/material things. Money remains a means to an end, but never an end itself, and it remains one of the easiest things to acquire, all things being equal. Those who do not have it today, remain steadfast and be content without being complacent, and don't allow anyone to abuse you.

If as an ethically sound woman here someone bullies you because of money they barely have directly or indirectly, if you can't defend yourself, direct the person and their backer(s) to me let me show them that the true haves don't shout unnecessarily like the crass and expedient have-nots and quasi-haves.

Success consciousness is the goal, say no to both materialism and parasitism - principle/spiritual values over expediency any day and anywhere. Of course, perfection is still of the creator of the world.

T. Orji and Ikuku are just being too clever by half - worst display of expediency. OUK will definitely mete out his own pound of flesh on them whenever he sees a perfect opportunity.

pansophist:
1. Lions are called the king of the jungle because Tigers (and other stronger formidable predators) do not live in the jungle. In other words, the people who look down on you do so because you haven't assumed your throne and shine in your glory. Go be a king in your domain.

2. Resurrect your inner d!ck. The world is a jungle, and being Mr nice guy will not take you far. The unrelenting you are to exhume your inner d!ck, the farther you go.

3. Formal education will make you a living, but self-education will make you a fortune. True life's education is experienced outside the classroom.

4. Being nice and incapable of inflicting harm is not a virtue. It is a weakness. The ability to inflict an untold amount of damages, but chooses not to, is a virtue.

5. If they stand behind you protect them. If they stand beside you, respect them. But if they stand against you, destroy them.

6. Be aware of your vices, and do not let it destroy your life. A typical vice for men is philandering, negative aggression, greed, alcoholism, etc. For women, it is prostitution, chaos, vindictiveness, narcissism, and dissatisfaction.

7. The antidote to suffering in life is responsibility. Find that thing that is worth dying for, and every other suffering you pass through shall be insignificant.

8. Never be afraid to walk alone, instead be afraid to walk mindlessly with the crowd. Your mind can be your greatest asset, and your greatest liability, depending on if you nourish it well.

9. As a man, your superpower lies in being masculine, and for women, being feminine. Understand this and accentuate it to the best of your ability.

10. The ability to express yourself eloquently is power. The power of speech can move mountains, bring down standing armies, and give meaning to life. Be eloquent.

11. The weaker you are, the more fight you will get into. The stronger you are, the less fight you will get into either. To thrive is to be tough.

Succinctly written.

Until I see an established fact to back up the "most" assertion, I don't believe that most fathers do receive less from their offspring than the mothers. The fact that something is prevalent in clime A doesn't automatically mean that it's also prevalent in clime B.

Don't tell me that you don't have an ethic of conviction - if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. Give her an overdose of the treatment you've reserved for perfidious people in your life, based on how you weigh this particular act of perfidy, because as the possible closest person to you all this while she must have received the largest portion of your goodness too. However, if her action is a retaliatory action, you're on your own.

Mariangeles:
If it isn't the lord himself...

My brothers will disown me if I dared to leave
Even the heart has been hardened sef...losing no dey pain again

Your brothers will have no choice than to concede to their . . . in good faith at the appropriate time. It's better to be a fan of any winning team at any given time than to remain a fan of a club that takes pride in causing their fans heartbreak.

@Mariangeles

I have a mandate to drag you out of this club because I don't want you to develop a heart attack - I am not even sure that the team have won a match since the beginning of this year. LOL.

bukatyne:
There are terrible men, there are terrible women who go to make terrible spouses.

There are men whose dreams have gone down the drain because they have to go for what makes money for the family than their passion.

I have seen men take insults from younger people like bread and butter because they have a family to feed.

I have seen men turn down greater opportunities because it would keep them from their families for extended periods.

I don't know where these stories about marriages all doom and gloom for women is coming from.

Life itself is a bed of roses with thorns and that translates to every aspect of life: marriage, parenting, work, schooling, religion, extra-curricular activities.

If you can't put your spouse first and be wise enough to marry a spouse who would put you first, don't bother with marriage.

If you can't figure out what your dreams are and marry someone in line with them, don't put the blame of your lack of productivity/fulfillment on your spouse.

I have women around me who are married with kids and achieve what they set for themselves: no matter how mundane or lofty.

Honour will never elude you anywhere you go.

Prince Tony Momoh is subtly rooting for the governor and PDP.