₦airaland Forum

Ladycewhy:
True i would rather let the kids feel the rejection themselves. My uncle was the one that pushed his kids away, they will go to him for school fees he will tell them to go to their mother, they will go for holiday, he will say nasty things to them and even about their mother ,till they stopped going to see him. So many things i dont want to touch on. My mum even had to take my cousin in take the load off their mother,she sef tire for her brother. Lol

So its better than kids see the rejection themselves.

Exactly, not the one the lady will stop them from going to see their dad "because I dont want him to poison you against me"

If the fellow is really as useless as you think, let everybody see it for themselves. You cant shield a person all his life. At least a child must be curious about his parent

Now your cousin can never blame your auntie for depriving her of her father so her conscience is clear

Ladycewhy:
i would have appreciated if IceColdVeins ran with this narrative from the beginning instead of letting this thread degenerate into something else. If i hadn't queried why he had to apologize i wouldn't have gotten this part of the detail he left out.

He made seem like he was doing it to find peace bla bla bla when the truth is the rest of the family already moved past the reconcilaition phase and he is the only one late to the party.

Thats why you should look before jumping into marriage issue

At times the person you are fighting for is not complaining.

If you dislike your father because of what he did to you and your mother no problem but dont fight on the womans behalf

The bond between husband and wife is very strong to the point of making you forget whatever the person may have done to you. Thats the only way marriage even works sef, when two of you just dey do like mumu wey no remember anything

At the end you as an outsider will be feeling like somebody lied to you

Yatahamal:
Do you know Ali is a sahaba? Lmao

*other sahaba

Are you happy now?

It doesnt take away from the fact that that dude is a liar

sulasa07:
Are Ali and Hussein not Sahabas,why cant I like Fatima more than Aisha,is it a prescription to be a true Muslim.Which verse of the Qur'an states what you mentioned above.

Religious dispute is not only based on text but the context that surrounds it

Sunnis argue that its not proper to criticise a wife of the Prophet yet Shiaas say that their criticism is justified because her conduct was bad.

They have been disagreeing on it since yet youre here talking about Jesus and Mary

Lies lies Kazab lies Aghugho Asi Lies !

I am ready to keep clicking that swear and calling you people out on your slanderous LIES!

Ladycewhy:
As it stands the op is the only one in his family who has not mended fences with his dad. His mother and other siblings have all done that. And now he has to make extra effort by apologizing and buying gifts lest he becomes the black sheet of the family.

IceColdVeins did i leave anything out?

Thank you

He just has to save himself from being awkwardly frozen out of the family since his mother doesnt have any quarrel with the man again

sulasa07:
I'm sure Catholic has their own bible diff from Anglican, Catholic believe in Mother of Jesus has higher than Jesus while Anglican dont.
Have you ever heard of Sunni Qur'an and Hadith being different from Shia.If not go sit down

Shutup! Liar

Modified: Shiaa exalt Ali and Hussain yet Sunni prefer the other Sahaba

Sunni love Aisha but Shia dislike her and elevate Fatima

What a liar!

sulasa07:
Its political and thats why Sunnis dont show face in Iran too.It all started as a result of who will be the Muslim World leader thousand yr ago.What makes you think all Sunnis hate shia and all shia hate Sunni.Palestinians are Iranian friend likewise Turkish people.
Shia and Sunni fight is political,its not religious since the Qur'an is still one,we all perform Salat the same way,we worship ALLAH alone

Rubbish! Religion is partly a political endeavour because it governs human relations. Anything concerning more than ONE person is automatically political.

Especially Islam which the Prophet saww used to draft a working government system and state in Madina, and which was used to rule subsequent caliphates. Political hatred is still hatred. Otherwise how did they fight all those Ummayyad wars?

Catholics and Anglicans resent each other ideologically but can still be friends so whoever wrote that original comment, which you are supporting is a total hypocrite!

Nonsense

sulasa07:
The hate is just online hate.

Just get out! The hate is online hate thats why Saddam Hussein massacred Shia and later admitted it

Thats why Saudi Arabia blocks Shia from any major government portfolio

Thats why majority Shiaa Hazara in Afghanistan are discriminated against in almost every aspect of life

Thats why in Pakistan they keep blowing Shiaa to smithereens every chance they get

Lying on Jumaa day, What an achievement! Mabrook

The dude didnt give enough information and now everybody is coming to their own conclusion through the prism of their own opinion

To me it sounds like the OP took his mothers lamentations to heart and started fighting the dad on her behalf

This is why I said people should be careful of dragging their babies into issues that started before they were born

See where he said the parents are even very happy now but he was the one left out in the cold. Nawao

I keep saying that family affairs are a political game more than any other thing. Learn to calculate your moves without being too emotional so that you wont end up as the bad person

You latched onto some NL post about reconciliation because what you had to reconcile wasnt as much as your mothers but you overreacted on her behalf and youre now feeling as if youve been cheated. You're even feeling like the aggressor now and apologising to your dad over some guilt-tripping stuff about "spiritual consequences" when distancing yourself from an uncaring father is in no way a crime.

Now the pendulum is swinging back to your mother again as you wonder if it was as simple as how she described it.

chriskosherbal:
Being the last male in the family I stayed with family for a longtime before I left, and I must say mother's are wonderful but can choke a man to death sometimes if that man lack emotional shockabsolver when things start to fall apart especially finance, Seeing my mum cry complaining to me

I am not trying to trivialise or dismiss the pain of mothers but the truth is that at times, they complain too much to the child and put them in the middle of things when that child doesnt even understand how the quarrel started.

Its not the child's fault that you are unhappy in your marriage; its not fair to keep lamenting and saddling them with unnecessary emotional baggage.

If you need somebody to confide in, to talk an adult who can properly console and advise you and dont keep dumping your emotions on your child

Your mother had a right to feel upset BUT shouldnt have put her tears on your shoulders; it just ended up pushing you away at the end

Its not a good behaviour at all; people should find the proper channels to field their emotions and not use their children... children are fragile to emotional stressors already without you adding your own

AnthonyAk:
So you would rather go wait in an atm line every other day to withdraw money? There are definitely pro's and con's

Thats not the point because ATM machines are not supposed to have long ques.

A bank that has up to 5 ATM machines and only 1 or 2 are working is not supposed to be used as an example. Why are the other ones not working

So the same bank frustrating you from withdrawing your money is the one that will save you with cashless?

Even me I use card at times because it is more appropriate but on this particular point, we should understand the dark side of using cashless transactions all the time

safetyInspector:
I beg to disagree on some of these things you mentioned. The problem is that there are no functional working system in Nigeria. At that bus stop shelter,
cleaner comes to clean it every six hours, CCTV camera will be within the premises to monitor, can these be done in Nigeria? No is the answer. People are not misbehaving in functional countries not because they dont want to but because there systems in place that will apprehend you ASAP. In that same Dubai there are cameras that will scan your UAE National ID Card as much as you have it with you in your pocket should you cross highways without using pedestrian bridges.

Thank you ooo...in those countries people keep cleaning and sweeping everywhere constantly. And they must sign a register or swipe their ID that they have cleaned it and at what time they cleaned it. If not for that, you would see wonders in that place

And if its not clean there is a number you can call to complain. Then the person who was responsible for that area will be queried.

People behave badly everywhere and not just in Nigeria though we have a bad toileting culture too. Its lack of accountability and bad maintenance culture that causes these things.

They will hire one mama for pennies who will not be able to do the work, then the place will not be touched allll day. Then they still expect the place to be okay Haba

ussv:
It's not always for the poor and unfortunate people if that's what you mean

Okay. Thank you for that insight.

uboma:
Yes, studies/research carried out by neuroscientist, Ivanka Savic have shown that the scans of the gay man's brain share some resemblance with straight women and also that the scans of a lesbian's brain do share some resemblance with that of a straight man.

"But as Savic herself acknowledges, the study can’t say whether the brain differences are inherited, or result from abnormally high or low exposure in the womb to sex hormones such as testosterone " (copied from the newscientist - link to the news article below)

Read more: https://www.newscientist.com/article/dn14146-gay-brains-structured-like-those-of-the-opposite-sex/#ixzz67wypqmbb

Please provide me with links to latest research carried out that proves otherwise (in the event that I may have missed it).

So for now, we can accurately say that gay tendencies are not inherited.

Lol. Your original assertion, the findings you've posted here and your concluding statement are all contradictory.

You initally posited that "nobody can be BORN with gay tendencies". So whether they are genetic or whether they are inculcated by gestational events is irrelevant. As far is it happened before the person was born , we are saying the same thing.

I didnt even say that they were inherited; I said that brain development is affected by events that happen in the womb, which you just supported in that link you posted there.

You asserted first that every gay person was totally heterosexual before their sexuality deviated from the norm due to some environmental event, which both of us have now agreed is just not true.

From the article you provided:

"The differences are likely to have been forged in the womb or in early infancy ..."

"Previous studies have also shown differences in brain architecture and activity between gay and straight people, but most relied on people’s responses to sexuality driven cues that could have been learned , such as rating the attractiveness of male or female faces.

To get round this, Savic and her colleague, Per Lindström, chose to measure brain parameters likely to have been fixed at birth.

That was the whole point of the study, to show parameters that differ, but which couldnt be altered by learning or cognitive processes. "

This is the exact opposite of what you argued initially, since you stated that the person must have been influenced by other gay people or become curious along the line. This study looked at factors that had been fixed at birth , so no amount of experimentation could have affected them.

"But as Savic herself acknowledges, the study can't say whether the brain differences are inherited, or result from abnormally high or low exposure to testosterone in the womb."

If you had found a source that said "the study cant say whether the brain differences happen before the person is born or take place during teenage years or early adulthood ", that would have supported your original argument.

MedicH:
Lol. What do u suggest? Swimsuit no be underwear.

But its exactly the same thing lol. A 2 piece swimsuit and pant and bra whats the difference

ehmmy11:
they wear their "underwear" so their clothes won't get wet....

I detest naija girls at the pool With their shower cap

It has nothing to do with clothes lol you can get waterproof swimsuits that cover your entire body...even the one in OP is waterproof

AnthonyAk:
How? If your not doing anything illegal, nothing wrong with monitoring spending habits

It not good for big business to be able to see absolutely everything you buy and at what time you buy it...thats why theyre making the cashless look nice to people so that they will be able to target their advertising and make you spend more money

And cashless makes you less conscious of how much you are spending

Cash is power...

ehmmy11:
Naija girls at the pool They will wear a full T-shirt or tie wrapper and be forming bikini abeg throw wey

abeg I like our own way though it seems funny...I never understood how somebody would go on their underwear in the name of "swimming" but still wear clothes to go home, is it not madness

ussv:
Well sometimes we take metro to work because of heavy traffic. For over three years now i have not driven to work because i work in downtown los angeles and i if i drive to work from where i live, it`s 2-3 hours of traffic each commute, meaning that i spend average of 6 hours everyday driving to and from work. Most times i end up with swollen feet and bad knee. But metro reduces traffic by half because of their dedicated service and lanes like metro express that stops only at few bus stops and the ever reliable train that is sharp sharp. So Commuting to work is still a big part of people here especially if you work in downtown of any city in America.

So is taking the bus stigmatised? Or not

I get the impression that people would rather use a taxi or carpool than catch a bus

Giftexx:
To those saying NIgerians don’t deserve such....

how come public facilities (e.g toilets) in shopping malls, banks.. are not messed up.

The people aren’t d problem, bad leadership is

They dont get messed up because people constantly clean and monitor them

The people are the problem and bad maintenance culture is also the problem

Caroworld:
Take your mind off the physical intimacy and you will come to grasp the real message figuratively hidden in her words.

Whats the real message? I dont understand

truthsayer009:
That's why Nigeria is the best country in the world. 2nd worse power supply behind Yemen.

Lol smh

AnthonyAk:
went to lag on the island never saw any queues there. Another point should be nigerians should learn to go cashless. I was able to pay for good and services using bank transfers even the market woman knows what an alert is

Cashless benefits banks, that's why they're trying to force it on everybody

It's convenient now but gives too much power to corporations who will be seeing absolutely everything you use your money for and collecting information on your expenditure as data

ogbonti:
You know the English, I own the money...

Satisfied? Ms. sabi sabi

Lol. But you're spoiling the money with your English, that's the point...

uboma:
I disagree with you. No man/woman was/is born with gay tendencies. They choose to give this excuse so you can feel pity for them. Study the history of someone who's gay and you will find what led to it. Some of them were sexually abused by older persons which will influence their lifestyles. Some others picked the tendencies from their peers. For others, curiousty led them to such tendencies and they got hooked in the process. There are several reasons but no one was/is born with gay tendencies.

You're picking up on environmental factors which can still be turned back on you. What about people who have never experienced any of those things yet still have homosexual desires? What about people who experienced all those things and more, yet are still straight?

I mentioned the fact that the brain of a gay vs. a straight person is different yet you ignored it. But a scan of a gay man's brain bears some resemblance to that of a woman. That would at least partly explain why he is attracted to men.

The truth is that even though environment and lifestyle can play a part in it, there are particular connections made between brain cells which give rise to sexual attraction and some people's are wired differently than normal for their gender which gives rise to these feelings.

It is impossible for me to muster up any attraction to a woman, but I can for a man.

This is what I imagine it feels like a for a gay person but the other way around. A lesbian would find it difficult to feel any sexual desire towards a guy no matter how hard she tried.

Or rather, she would find it difficult to suppress her impulse towards women. Why, if it's not coming from her brain?

This must be brain-related to an extent, which means that it started in the womb during development.

Freehuman:
But not same in Europe.

True sha

einsteine:
Who told you we use British English?

Is it not Nigeria that people call lifts, elevators and say things like three bedroom apartments?

There is no clear delineation as to which English variant we use. Just ensure you are consistent. In IELTS, that's the rule, once you use British spelling for a particular word, any subsequent spelling of that word must be the same. You can therefore use both British and American English

We use Nigerian Standard English which is based on British English but due to media influence, American English has crept in and had an influence.

I would not use the words elevator or apartment except for simplicity, it's razz

So many American spellings are vulgar. British English is better

muyoge:
And look at the weight of his word "appalling " to correct someone who probably used the American variant of the word.

It is technically not wrong to use Americanisms but looks and sounds vulgar.

Just like they spell "sulphur" as "sulfur" and "colour" as "color". It's truly appalling unless you are an American

ogbonti:
you have a calculator right? kindly multiply $337,000 (YES, that is what I made last year before taxes) to AED and tell me what is it as against what they pay you and the slave laborers in that picture.

Permit me to say that this statement was made in extremely poor taste.

You have a point but ruining it with vulgarity

Teebilion:
Is it me or it’s that this LEARNED instead of LEARNT sounds appalling ?

Learned is American, learnt is British

kikake:
Nigeria is drawn apart by the CENTRIFUGAL FORCES of two civilizations - Islam and Christianity - hence Nigeria can never make it.

Never, if we actually practised those two faiths properly we would be the power-house, I mean the kings of the planet