₦airaland Forum

Luckiotutu:
Wow.. Okay.. This was helpful. Thanks for the reply

You're welcome dear

Luckiotutu:
I could be wrong though.

Uhmm.. But please guys help me please, isn't she supposed to be addressed as ZAHRA INDIMI?

I am just wondering why her she still bears buhari's name.

Muslims please help enlighten me.

Muslims don't need to answer their husbands name

victorian:
I didn't say the guy was right.
They were both wrong but she was asking for it. And the guy later begged all night. What else again does she want?

For him to be on his kneels and be begging forever? Cmon!

I agree.

Anyway when they both calm down I expect them to work through the issue having taken responsibility for their own wrongdoings

victorian:
Cmon! What do u think I'm doing? I'm looking for someone to shut my mouth up!
Some men can leave home at that moment and drive off with their car. While some who do not have anywhere to go but are determined to Stay home, will either bang the door at my face, as I keep howling at his back? Or give me a dirty slap to keep me shut!
And unfortunately he gave his wife a hard slap that brough blood oozing from her lips.
She simply. Asked for it!

So babe! I don't accept such nagging and hounding a man as if he's a kid.

Forget nairaland men, I honestly don't!

Lol thank you ooo...we can all keep quoting laws and fairytales but at the end we will still face the guys we are married to so better be realistic and recognise your boundary

A 28 year old woman doesn't understand what the words " Leave me alone " mean and still called her family to come and shout at the guy in his house yet she is somehow totally innocent because of moderate beating that she provoked.

If you agree to work in any Nigerian election, you may come back unscathed, you may be seriously injured or you may die there.

If you harangue somebody who just came in you may be ignored, be left in the house alone, be slapped or beaten.

That's not to say that anybody has the right to kill an INEC official but why did you go there!

That's not to say that anybody has the right to beat their wife but why didn't you close your mouth!

There is no point in being sentimental about it, both of them were wrong

victorian:
Correct!

But she's not wise at all.

She should thank her For, her hubby have conscience to beg her.

For me? I don't have strength to nag..
If I don't like my husband's behavior, I will talk about it when he's clear headed and sober and that's the first and last time I will complain.

I don't like complaining twice, I don't like nagging, I dnt have strength to fight man. But with the way I will behave, he will quickly adjust his behavior.
In short any man I marry will know the kind of person I am ,before wedlock.

Lol I have had to learn to hold my peace because I know that I am very capable of doing something like this.

The only thing is that nobody beat me which is why I know that calling your family into the matter is very nonsensical when you should even be hiding the thing from your family if you have an iota of shame.

If you know you have some crazy temper, plus being tired, plus female hormones then it's better to work on it and present your issue calmly than drive your husband to abstraction because at the end you will still eat your own slice of HUMBLE PIE and admit that you were the one who started it

Forget nairaland guys or misogyny or whatever. I am not one to advocate for allowing a man to rubbish you but if you know that you can be very persistent and irritating then you'd better err on the side of logic and think realistically about how best to get what you want without driving the man insane

Somebody is already kneeling down on the ground for you, that's your best chance of getting your point across and you missed it to go and call your mother who is relaxing in her husband's house already ...shuuu?

DrayZee:
Ahh. Finally, someone else gets it.

Amen.

Your nairaland sisters wanted to crucify me on this matter oh.

Lol I can see where they're coming from because it's an emotive topic. People have died and keep dying because of primitive beliefs and superstitions, so people are right to kick against it especially when there was no need to slaughter the innocent animals in the OP.

But the point is that we are not the only ones who have fallen for such beliefs and white people are not the only ones who can grow out of them.

Well, I hope so, anyway...

Erums:
You think so?, can I confide in you?

You want to tell me something? Go ahead now, at least I cannot see you while you're making your confession

victorian:
Abi? It's annoying.

Only she went to look and seek for trouble, trouble was avoiding her, her brain didn't tell her to leave the young man alone, she will went further nagging him as if he's a kid. I hate nonsense.
She got what she was looking for.
The Op sef no get mind. Quit begging!
When she Taya, she will come back home begging him in return.

I'm a lady, whom fortunately started thinking like a man years back when I was dating dare devil men in sheep clothing. In the process of surviving what those sadistic love threw at me, I had to become a man inwards but still a female outward.
My.mind became tough through the years which is good nw. Nothing fazes me anymore. I trained my mind to value peace and solitude. And I have little patience for games and mind tricks.

it's good anyways.

You just summarised it. Act like a lady and think like a man! This is like military warfare.

The lady was even at an advantage because he overreacted to her own overreacting and nagging by slapping her. So she had the upper hand because he committed the bigger crime by becoming violent. He knew it and that's why he started apologising, kneeling and begging.

She would have kept crying, dramatising and keeping malice until he would be forced to agree not to stay out late again . Then the next time he tries that 2AM will be a different story

She was even winning and still went and called her mother for what I don't even know. Did your mother tell you to finish your husband with mouth Your mother who will even insult you join and ask you when you're going back to your house.

This guy is even sorry, what of those ones who will slap your mouth like soured red stew without any conscience? Very ridiculous something o

victorian:
She never know anything yet.. She's still a kid.

Anyways Op, don't beg her again. Let her stay with her parents for a long time. Later only she go call your number when her mom is tired of buying baby food and pampers including feeding her join.. In fact her elder brother will be the first to mock her, and go back to you.

It's simple logic.

Most People even families don't like extra mouths to feed and cloth.

When I hear ladies nag and nag and nag until the husband either slaps her or box her to keep quiet, I sigh and I'm like the wife doesn't value her face or body. Personally I hate nagging.

Silent treatment is how I handle things . I hate noise

They will now ask you if you can really be a woman or if you're just a man using female photo

Somebody chased a grown man around and around his house, got what she was looking for and then went crying to her parents, does it make sense?

If you don't enter keke can keke driver carry you

Nobody should beat anybody but then nobody should go looking for beating if they don't want it. This is not a perfect world or romance movie where people do exactly what you want or expect

If she just asked him where he had been and he snapped and started raining slaps on her then I could understand but these beans get serious weevil. How can you claim right after provoking somebody

DrayZee:
Calm down. No need for insults. The English are known for their age-long killing of people they concluded to be witches. It's not hard to find a Native American "witch" in the US even today. Seriously, these people make use of psychics and Ouija boards all the time. Don't even for once think that white people ignore the supernatural.

Yes! They used to call crowds to come and watch them drown innocent women who were accused of witchcraft

And now there are so-called "white witches" or Wiccans who use natural elements and pagan rituals for beneficial charms

What happens in Nigeria is just what happened in England hundreds of years ago. We shall overcome

DrayZee:
I don't think so at all. In almost every culture in the world, there is some religious belief associated with cats (especially that of evil). But see self-righteous Nigerians falling over themselves to fill the front page with their ignorance.

Lol thank you...we are so eager not to look backward that we go too far forward.

Even in those foreign cartoons you can see the witch has a cat as her assistant...the only thing is that OP wouldn't have killed them but taken them to an animal shelter. That's if he's in Lagos

omoharry:
So many Nigerians are slaves to these phenomenon..it makes them seriously paranoid and they act irrational.So many have severe ties with their love ones becos one pastor with his twisted mind told them some rubbish..I dont like them, I usually stay away from people like that.They have negative energy becos of how they think. .

Babe it's not Nigerians lol. Black birds are a harbinger of evil all over the world! Crows, owls and all those creepy birds are a sign of death or evil in so many cultures

Unless you're an animal lover you will chase that bird even if you're queen Elizabeth

Various cultures have their superstitions so it's unfair to single out Nigerians. I had a Chinese friend who wouldn't cross anywhere where those black birds were staying and this girl was one of the smartest people I knew then.

It's just culture although I agree with you that we can get irrational at times

Korllami007:
Are you truly a woman or a man using female moniker? See logical argument devoid of emotion unlike those ones have been reading from female nairalander on this thread.
This is rare ooo. E weak me Sha.

Lol sir, as for me o, I can't understand OPs wife at all.

I can't even call my mother to tell her that I followed my husband shouting at him from behind because I know she will use dialect to scatter my existence so there's nothing like female or male monicker here

Nobody should sugar coat anything oo, that lady is very unreasonable

The man is irresponsible and has a lack of self-control but I would rather find other ways to get to him because I can't embarrass myself to my brother and parents with any kind of hysterical shouting and beating like this, Haba

spencekat:
Good counsellor.

Thank you sir

freecocoahubby:
The woman kept following her husband up and down like a mad dog, shouting and insulting him - and he's expected to just sit there and keep silent like a veggie?

Thank you! So where did the slap materialise from if not that she went and looked for him..mtchew!

spencekat:
Yes,the woman was wrong by provoking him,but he would not have slapped her.

Yes, I said that in my post.

He shouldnt have slapped her at all!! But

- He has already apologised. At the end he cannot take the slap back, all he can do is apologise some more. So why not accept the apology or refuse to accept it UNTIL he agrees not to stay out until 2AM again instead of throwing the baby out with the bathwater?

- Is she actually going to tell her mother and brother what transpired or will she just tell them that "we were arguing and he slapped me"? Because she too will be ashamed of herself if her family really gets to hear the story

- Your mother and brother will still eventually come to see your presence as an irritation and ask you when youre going back

The genesis of the problem is that he stayed out until 2AM and left her with the baby and NOT that he slapped her! At the point when he came back late, she was totally blameless and she should have kept it that way if she knew she was going to involve her family in their issue. I would have accepted it if she reported him to her family over that alone if it were a repeat occurrence.

The golden question is, who pursued who here ? Did he go and look for her to slap her or did she go looking for slap

And people saying that "she could have fallen, she could have died" etc yeah! And he could have developed hypertension from constant nagging and shouting. Thats why they should both apologise to each other and keep each other alive mbok

Vivonose:
let him continue begging
Begging no dey finish for market
Call her,call her mum,..if he really loves her,that's won't be a problem

He should appeal to her because she is really hurt but he has already shown remorse so I dont understand why she left.

I dont see how you can provoke somebody to the point of violence and then call your family to come and pick you.

If she is just tired of his behaviour generally then I can understand, but calling them on the basis of this particular incident is very unnecessary.

Vivonose:
Am so disappointed at response of most of the guys on this platform,how would u feel if ur sister reported this case to u,Do u expect the woman to smile at her husband for returning home that late,and to make matters worse,he even slapped her,
And you think it's wrong for the family to intervene,what if while he slapped her,she fell,hit her head on the ground,and died..
Pls we need to call a spade,a spade and change from our insensitive ways
Let him continue to beg,he is very very wrong

He has begged her already! What is he begging again!

Shes supposed to beg him too, they should both beg each other

I dont think it can really be the way you painted it. How can it escalate to this point in less than a day Something was already wrong beforehand.

You shouldnt have slapped her!

AND She shouldnt have harassed you, followed you around the house and shouted at you. The point that you told her to leave you alone and she didnt was the point AT WHICH SHE OVERSTEPPED HER BOUNDARY.

Shouting at somebody and harassing them is STILL DOMESTIC ABUSE!

So the solution is to wait until everything calms down and calmly talk out your differences because she is the one who actually initiated it THOUGH YOU TOO DIDNT ACT WELL AND GAVE HER A WEAPON TO USE AGAINST YOU WITH HER FAMILY.

Be smarter next time o!

Truly the manner and movement of cats has some kind of bewitching quality...I am not surprised that people find them creepy

All over the world, cats are associated with witchcraft because of their strange behaviour. They have actually evolved to behave like that to survive

And Im also not surprised that your wife fled the house...when cats fight the sound they make is terrible

I dont think you really needed to waste them like that though...they probably just saw some food walking around in your ceiling


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI8NsYIyQ2A

AntiChristian:
Whatever! I have never posted those verses for you before!
You are muddled up. Check yourself!

Troll!

eni4real:
Na Chicago? Faithful Lagos guy>> Chicago guy

Lol all guy na guy

Mcslize:
This seems like audio money o. I can as well claim I have $500,000 in my dormicilary account. In Rudeboy voice: Na audio ooooooo

Lol No, I believe him actually. If I didnt, I wouldnt have quoted him.

I am sure he actually earns that money which is why I objected to the way he was displaying it

AntiChristian:
There are two types of Ahl al Kitab according to the Qur'an namely the believers and the disbelievers!
Those who believe in the trinity are disbelievers!

I still remain AntiChristian.

Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Surely, disbelievers are those who said: ‘Allah is the third of the three (in a Trinity).’ But there is no llaah (god) (none who has the right to be worshipped) but One Ilaah (God -Allah). And if they cease not from what they say, verily, a painful torment will befall on the disbelievers among them”
[al-Maa’idah 5:73].

Verily, those who disbelieve (in the religion of Islam, the Quran and Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him)) from among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) and Al-Mushrikun will abide in the Fire of Hell. They are the worst of creatures.
(Al-Bayyinah vs 6)

The Christians are Ahl Al-Kitab and I am still AntiChristian!

I already answered this and youre repeating the same thing.

You really are a troll. Or you are like 14 years old

AreaFada2:
Remember that people in their 80s now had a different level of patience and commitment to marriage when they started out. Virtually across the world. It's different now.

No denying that cultural differences play a big role. From the many couples I know who started out happily in a "United Nations" kind of marriage since the last 25 years, only about 25% are still together. But those from similar ethnic background, around 80% are still together.
Granted some probably happened because one of them wanted kpale. When you consider age difference and apparent incompatibility from the start.

Even among those that appeared truly in love and compatible, success rate is still very low in United Nations marriages. Maybe both parties were not ready to compromise and put in the work needed. It's never a bed of roses whether you marry from your village or from another continent.

Thank you for this information; I realise that cross-cultural marriage presents its own challenges which is why I brought up that Esama's case in the first place.

I only objected to the way that that person jumped to conclude that the problem MUST have been due to cross-cultural differences when we have no reason to suspect that from their announcement.

I dislike that type of nay-saying because it seems that whenever somebody has the guts to marry a foreigner people just count and wait for that marriage to fail, which is unfair.

From my own observations, when a cross-cultural marriage fails due to cultural differences its because one or both parties was unaware or underestimated the cultural requirements of the other and finds it difficult to adjust.

For example I have seen marriages break up because the Nigerian man wanted to take his white wife and kids back to settle permanently in Nigeria and the lady refused to come.

When you ask the dude "Did you discuss this with her before tying the knot? Did she expect you to stay in the freezing cold forever" The man doesnt have any answer to give you! But if they had discussed it beforehand, they would have had a chance to call it quits.

If it is revealed that something like that happened with these people in the OP then I could understand why somebody should say that but prematurely jumping to conclude that its because they are from different places is not right IMO

AreaFada2:
It's never a bed of roses whether you marry from your village or from another continent.

Exactly.

AntiChristian:
You said Jesus was Jew so what makes Jesus a Christian? Does being antichristian make me Antichrist?
.
Ahl Al kitab means people of the Book which are the Jews and the followers of Christ.

'(I, Jesus, have come to you Children of Israel), to attest the Law which was before me. And to make lawful to you part of what was (Before) forbidden to you; I have come to you with a Sign from your Lord. So fear God, and obey me.
"'It is God who is my Lord and your Lord; then worship Him. This is a way that is straight.'"
When Jesus found unbelief on their part He said: "Who will be my helpers to (the work of) God?" ['anṣār 'ilā llāh] Said the disciples: "We are God's helpers [anṣāru llāhi]: We believe in God, and do thou bear witness that we are Muslims [wa-ishhad bi-'anna muslimuna].
" Qur'an 3:49–52

The disciples of Jesus call themselves Muslim above and below.

And behold! I inspired the disciples to have faith in Me and Mine Messenger: they said, 'We have faith, and do thou bear witness that we bow to God as Muslims'". Qur'an 5:111

Who said Jesus was a Christian Why does anybody need Him to be one?

"Some Muslims argue that Ahl-al-Kitab (The people of the Book)are no longer in existence.

They say the present day Christians and Jews are not the same as those described in the Qur’an as Ahl-al-Kitab because among other reasons, they have corrupted the teachings of their scriptures."

To believe that there are no more “Ahl-al-Kitab” existing today would indirectly imply an abrogation or even irrelevance for all practical purposes of all references in the Qur’an or Hadith to Ahl-al-Kitab (Qur’an 3:64; 5:82; 22:17 etc.)

https://dawahinstitute.org/do-the-ahl-al-kitab-still-exist/

Do you deny your Qur'an? Do you abrogate its references?

IAmStrange:
Eventually, we are on the same page. But thanks for your criticisms anyways

Yeah No problem

IAmStrange:
I drop hints about him because the inspirations cone gradually

so I drop them as they come.

That's not really my fault!

Lol Okay o. But you can see how it would sound scary to an outsider

eni4real:
Foreign dey plenty for Naija..
Chinese Rice dey sef..

Anything you want, we go get am for you..

Lol so I should dump my Chicago boo for you people..lai lai

eni4real:
Don't leave us go marry Oyinbo o..

Don't let what happened to Caro in 2003 happen to you o!

Lol you no wan chop foreign rice The wedding will be sweet na

IAmStrange:
Thanks for all your words except the emboldened

But that's no biggie by the way because conversely, I don't agree with Christianity too.

As for being scared concerning Imes, I'm not trying to scare you...

but know this...

Whoever's heart is against the truth and he stubbornly clings to Falsehood after Imes comes will probably be in constant fear of Imes

So if you feel this way and then you continue on your path - I don't mean to scare you please - but the fear you have now may just be the beginning

Lol I am not in fear of Imes; I am disconcerted by the way information about him is currently being disseminated.

If there was info to read about him that was free to access there would be nothing sinister about it.

The shadowy way you keep dropping hints makes it sound like a cult and not a reformation

Larrykaysail:
she is Canadian

There are a lot of Jamaican immigrants in Canada

She is probably a Canadian of Jamaican descent