₦airaland Forum

The sad truth is that the permissive parenting style your elder sister is "enjoying" now from your mum will backfire on both her and your mum and painfully, you and your siblings will be expected to subsidize it.

SenecaTheYonger:
this mumu expect OP to give up his real ID just so he can please a no-faced-10MB-2 meals a day scum. Lmfao.

You just reminded me of one my patients. Soaking up comments like yours is part of my 9 to 5 job, so it has no effect on me.

Even if what you studied for your first degree gives you no chance in the job market, sit down and think out what you can study for your postgraduate outside Nigeria that would offer you better prospects.

-Choose a course or courses
-Research countries and foreign universities that are tuition free or highly subsidized that offers the course(s) you listed.
-Make sure the country you settled for offers international students the opportunity to stay back to work after graduation and also work while studying.
-Then apply.

Way better than losing money to visa agents who sweet tongues with non existent jobs and fraudulent visa application. With this pandemic, their is massive job losses across the world, so which country do you want to go to that you are likely to get a job before their locals?

adebayour26:
Sorry to say this, he messed up though, but from the way you've decided to purnish him, it doesn't look like you cherish your marriage.

It looks to me that you're just in it because of your children and this is solely because you're now independent.
That husband of yours too acted stupid then, ode ni. He acted as if he's not educated and doesn't know the legal implication of a court marriage, olodo

He did not act as if he is not educated nor not knowing the legality a court marriage confers but was well thought out as he didn't want to be legally tied down to the woman so that it will be easier to leave the union when he is no longer interested and easily remarry then the woman will less likely contest property with him even provisions for the children will be dependent on his moods.

Jessicafyne:
Even before foetus gets to baby. A female foetus is more resilient. Most miscarriages are male foetus.

Yes, I know just didn't want to go that far. Presently, more men are dying from COVID-19 than women which means the XX chromosomes is proving to provide an edge when it comes to the pandemic.

They are most times older than their wives, so the chances of them dying before their wives is high.

Also right from birth, females have higher chances of survival than their male counterparts thus we lose more baby boys than baby girls to infant mortality as the girls are biologically stronger than the boys and this is evidence-based.

In Adulthood, the poor health-seeking behaviours in men exposes them to shorter lifespan, they are more likely to engage in habits that are dangerous to their overall well-being but sadly they get their validation from such habits and men also tend to repress a lot things in their lives which negatively impacts on their physical and mental health as getting in touch with their emotions and talking about them is regarded by many as a sign of weakness and being effeminate.

Yes, I do agree that the weight of providing for the family in most homes rests mostly on the husbands and puts so much pressure on them to meet up but we can't ignore that most times even dead beat fathers die before the women they abandoned with their children, making the women become the providers while they go living their care-free life as we also have some wives who were widowed early on their marriage but they still go on single-handedly raise these children to greater heights and most times without support from the late husband's relatives.

Modesthy:
I'm Igbo and 37 years. She is 42 and her son is 12 years while my uncle was 51 years when he died.

Ikuchi nwanyi (which many have done away with due to Christianity and westernization) have to involve other members of the family. You having a child with her would mean she will be more of your second wife and you will also have obligations to provide for her and the children and constantly spending time at her place and having sexual relationships with her as she is more or less also your wife because what she is presenting to you is the need to procreate but companionship will also be in the mix.

Ask yourself, should you impregnate her will you not be spending time away from your own wife and go be with her during her pregnancy and birth?

Will it not affect your marriage?

Does it align with the faith you profess?

In summary, traditions evolves and not cast on stone.

valgbo:
Hi can we chat here's my number 09037472316 I am a patient too

Were you diagnosed?

wany:
You have said it all.thank you

You are welcome.

Some of the reasons are low self-esteem, low self-worth and the thought that they can't earn to take care of self and the children. Socialization has also played a role in some women believing that there is heroism in enduring abusive marriage, many grew up seeing their own mothers hanging on to abusive marriages and most times still got to "outlive" their abusive fathers. "So if my mother survived my father, I can also survive my abusive husband". These women become depersonalized in order to "cope" with the Intimate Partner Violence (IPV)

Any woman who hangs on to an abusive marriage with the excuse that she is still there because of her children is living in self-denial as she is using the children as a cover up for her fear of leaving "the comfort zone".

A dysfunctional family is a fertile ground to raise children who would have a higher chance of growing up into damaged adults and the sad circle continues.

A broken home is not only where one of the parent is no longer in the daily life of the spouse and the child(ren) between them but also where both parents are under the same roof but toxic is the atmosphere in the home.

I work in a depression inducing environment (psychiatric hospital) but the passion I have for the job is what is helping me go through it and conscious that the serenity prayer can really help as we deal with our realities.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

The 6 geo-political zones.

Mariangeles:
A childless older couple convinced a teenager to keep a pregnancy she wanted to terminate and adopted the baby without any legal process. Just verbal agreement between the people involved.
Are there any consequence to this kind of arrangement?
What are the most likely consequence?

N.B; The husband was terminally ill, hence the urgency for adoption.
Infact, the man died barely one year after the adoption.

Please discontinue with the word "adoption" because there is no legal backing to that child living with them and it does not terminate the rights of the child's biological mother as she can always come back for the child.

Hubbysluv:
But the deadline for payment to secure your admission is still the same.
This is frustrating and confusing.

Personally, I am waiting for July to make a final decision and no university can pressurize me into parting with a kobo. Cambridge University have clearly expressed there will be no in-person classes for their 2020/2021, so anyone going for the University clearly know what to expect.

DontBullshitMe:
I see nothing wrong with this picture if the man (assumed to be her husband) has completed the payment of her bride price.

Is that how women married into and out of your family are treated? Once payment of bride price is completed, a slave is born.

Insightful and at the same time hilarious.

She is in a hurry.

Take the child to the hospital.

It will be odd not to have some Nigerians behind the debt recovery firm.

sisisioge:
Dont spoil the flow nau... The definition of a good woman is almost akin to doormat nowadays. The poor woman should give her kidney to the man who cheated on her and still decided to cheat her children off their inheritance even in death...let's not even begin to calculate her contributions to "his" properties o. She must kill herself on top of him or even run the risk of making her children motherless because that's what is expected of a good woman. Whew! One day, all of us will assemble in front of God and lay it all out

Ok, I understand.

sisisioge:
Now that you mentioned it...I think since she has equal children with the other woman, she should kukuma just give her kidney first, then discuss later. A good woman should be ready to suffer herself and her children for her husband. After all it is just a kidney she's giving. My grandma gave so much more to my grandpa of blessed memories despite him taking on another wife jare

A good woman is not one who accepts to be used as a toilet roll. If it is just a kidney, then I believe the husband can afford to buy one without needing one from the wife he has demeaned.

Getting married and bringing in a child into this world without means of provision is a frustrating situation.

He has to be independent and has to start taking responsibility for himself. If this dependency continues, how will he factor in when you start a family of your own?

Help him to healthily separate from you, in terms of helping him get grounded in ways of earning income and subtly get him to buy stuff he needs from what he will be earning as in this life we are not all at same pace as some need to nudged to become conscious of the need to take a step forward

TechSpot:
The issue with some men is that they rush into marriage due to societal pressure, they get to marry a stranger cos time is not on their side or cos their parents kept comparing them to their peers or cos they don't want to fornicate and have to get married to 'hit it'.

How will you not be able to please someone that you got married to, made children with and went further to actualizing her "porting from Naija" dream by relocating her to the dream country of most Nigerians, Canada... How!?

If you will look inward you will find the solution to your problem. Stop feeling depressed, stop competing with an angry woman instead make her happy. Little things go along way in pleasing a woman except the woman has finally ran mad that's when she wont appreciate those little gestures like a warm massage, a wink, a forehead kiss, a leg rub, sweet names calling, occasional gifts, surprise dates, helping with meals, taking care of the children and more and more compliments; These are some of the few things those "whatsapp boys" does better to get their attention... If you want to have peace you need to learn some of it too... Stop taking everything your woman does to you so personal, try and develop some humor and be a bit flexible.

Women after giving birth usually feel they are less wanted by their man/husband cos he has seen them before the changes to their body occur so they start to resent the man and sometimes they want to do likewise to the baby that has affected their once high physical beauty and high self esteem... You owe such woman alot of commitment and constant reminder that despite all the changes childbirth caused she hasn't lost her beauty or that you still value how same way you did pre-childbirth.

Learn to live in love with your woman and she will replicate the love and if it has gone beyond salvageable then you need to leave for a while, give her all enough time and space to experience differently from what she is used to then she can compare, contrast then decide.


Time heals everything.

Well articulated!

Newly registered username, another tale.

It is a joint decision.

Vikky1425:
Why should I create a cooked up thread? Because I want to entertain you or what? What is the big deal in washing his hands in the wash hand basin right beside him and also getting water from dispenser without having to stand up sef, because its that close.
And if he feels it is my DUTY as a woman, not because of anything but because it's my duty why cant he wait to tell me in private rather than using me to catch feelings in front of his friend.
I entered the kitchen sweating and didnt even sit for one minute before entering the kitchen. He didnt help with anything, I did it myself just to wash his hands and drink water he cannot do. I'd have done it if it required him going about but it was right beside him. That to me is not being nice at all. I used 'disturbing me' because he kept asking me to come earlier than we both agreed, cos him and his friend are really hungry from eating bread last night.

What is the big deal there now? This is how he will behave should you two finally get married, so you either accept such mindset or end the relationship but thinking that he will change after marriage is wishful thinking. Either you accept his script or take a walk.

maasoap:
Men generally don't like seeking medical help at all.

Sadly the truth.

GodPunishBiafra:
More

Just like women being more vulnerable to HIV infection but it is men, not women who are more likely to die of it.

GodPunishBiafra:
Why do men die much more earlier nau
From diabetes, hypertension and prostate cancer especially


RIP to him.

Poor health- seeking behaviour among men is a key factor.

AkupeMBANO:
exactly!! let's say what if otherwise

Your username, are you from Mbano?

"Craig Bellamy was always a nuisance"