₦airaland Forum

Safiaaa:
why is your following 98% males? Are you gay?

the intended audience is males

Lionessza:
Yes , we are nice people . We have materialistic and non materialistic ones but to almost all of us , the financial standing of a long term partner is important and scrutinized.

I get it now. Thanks for the clarification

XhosaNostra:
Were you dating any of them? Yes, we like money but we're not the type that goes out with a begging bowl, asking every potential date for money. Xhosa women are often stereotyped as golddiggers by other people because they almost NEVER go for broke. They like guys who can provide security. Hence I said we like money.

no I wasn't. a few wanted to date me (well at least have sex with me) but I was there on a short vacation and didn't have much time for other things besides sight seeing.

ok Materialism is different from Gold Digging. From what you say, they are materialistic and not necessarily gold diggers.

Lionessza:
Lol, thats how it starts .They don't ask for money . They find ways to make you hand over your wallet to them for their control . 99.9% success rate lol.

my nigerian friend there is married to one and agrees with me that they are quite nice and non-materialistic.

He says it is the men he has issues with

XhosaNostra:
Trust me, it's about money. It is well known that Nigerian guys like to spend money on women.
Anyway, why would anyone target a specific group if they're really searching for love?

Look, I know my people lol. There's nothing you can tell me about them. We like money. They don't say "A man's good looks are found in his livestock" for nothing

I guess i am gullible then. None ever asked me for money. one offered to pay when we were out together.

XhosaNostra:
It's not about pride but cultural differences or rather "cultural shock" to be precise. I've been reading through the threads & found out some shocking revelations about what widows go through. That could never be me lol.

I'd advise you to drop the shallow minded approach if you're really interested in her. Xhosa women are not in awe of men. They get attention effortlessly because they're not the shy type. They go for what they want, no time for beating around the bush. Plus most are good looking. It's a fact But the thing is finding the right man. They have a reputation as man-eaters & golddiggers because it's a shallow world, most guys are about the looks. So they often use that to their advantage by playing the field, until they can find that rare gem of a man that's worth settling for.

funny i had a different view to the bolded while i was in Jburg/Capetown on vacation. I made friends with a few and they seemed nice, not gold diggers. They lamented about the lack of great nice guys and they honestly had a liking for nigerian guys. This interest in Nigerian guys also didnt seem about gold digging

Originalsly:
A man setting out looking for the attributes listed is setting out looking for a woman to marry...not a wife.....as in he who findeth a wife findeth a good thing. Both parties being physically attracted to each other is not the most important thing to consider for a successful marriage.... that's most important when it comes to one night stands... or short term relationships. That physical attraction can disappear overnight. I may be attracted to the most beautiful girl in the city.... but a few days or weeks later see her in her element...shouting at her parents... spitting at the handicapped. ... that physical attraction will disappear. Many men have married such women.... and when they begin to live as man and wife.... her true colours come out.... then...divorce. Women marry men.....physical attraction ...start living together... finds out the man is a wife beater...then...divorce. When love or trust begin to fade...so will the marriage.

few people have ever been able to develop agape for their significant other without first starting from eros

darbeelicous:
i didn't read all of it, but from ur topic and d few I read ure literally saying that women are d cause of divorce? well, I just found out that a well recognized man, a devoted Christian a loving father and a caring husband to d most calm and submissive woman I've ever known has about four concubines secretly. if them divorce now them go blame the woman. mtcheww....... do ur calculations right and edit!!!

actually OP is putting the blame solely on Men

you need to read it completely

duni04:
I'm tired of the sad, sick and stupid APC vs PDP or Jonathan vs Buhari commentaries. This kidnap would have happened under the PDP o APC. The truth of the matter is that nobody can hold Buhari responsible for a kidnap that happened thousand of miles away from Abuja. Just like nobody can hold Jonathan responsible for the Chibok girls kidnap, (except for the initial denial by himself and his wife). We need state police so that we can hold somebody responsible whenever something like this happens. As it is now, there is nobody to hold responsible. Not the IG of police, not the Army chief, not the State governor or the President.

this government initiually denied. Later said they had been rescued.

there is honestly no difference between the two governments when it comes to propaganda

Neurotika:
I fail to see your point. I never argued that morality can be gotten in isolation. I argued reasoning.

ok my apologies. the original post you replied was talking about morality not reasoning.

Neurotika:
A human is capable of reasoning without being taught. It's basic science really. A human being born in a wilderness but has access to things to make him survive is capable of basic reasoning. Bringing the 'all knowing God' putting values into us by default into this issue is just you missing the point.

that I have reasoning does not mean I have developed any sense of morality.

If I was born and lived in isolation. I would not have a sense of morality. even animals raised in isolation only think of self-survival

Gggg102:
I will pick empathy. something along the lines of doing to treating others the way you want to be treated.

can i murder others because I am suicidal?

Viicfuntop:
If a guy said it, I would ignore it but a lady, common

Abi o. the hypocrisy is terrible.

I understand that we have been culturally hardwired like that and I respect people's opinion to think the lady is wrong while the guy has done no wrong because he is a guy. Maybe I would have felt so if I didn't have religion to rival the influence of culture and society in me.

That notwithstanding, and despite us having the right to think she (Mina) is amoral while he (Miracle) isnt, we do not have a right to insult her for her choices which affect no other except her and her willing partner.

Viicfuntop:
Why the hell would you call her a cheap slut

abi o. no insults for the guy

trustyshoess:
As a Christian, whatever you believe, you should be able to prove with the scriptures as that is the mirror for your life. If you can't, then it's just not scriptural

most christian doctrines, even though differing, are provable by scripture. Scripture is subject to interpretation.

We can have multiple interpretations (context sensitive or context free) of the same section of scripture.

The only true interpretation is that led by the Holy Spirit as the Holy Spirit cannot lie.

trustyshoess:
I'm guessing you stand with the "orthodox view"

I do but I only pass an information. I do not say the orthodox view is right or wrong. This is a matter of religion and faith so it is mostly belief systems rather than facts.

i can only "believe" the orthodox view is right. I can't prove it to You.

trustyshoess:
Lol you can't stop being born again. A born again Christian can't be contaminated as they are covered by the grace of Jesus. He died so that we no longer have sin. It's not by works, it's grace

this is the mentality orthodox churches preach against

(1) save by grace alone without the need for the grace to be manifested in works.
(2) That being born again means you cannot cannot be contaminated (i.e. you are filled with the holy spirit whether in sin or not)

Belafonte:
True.

So, she could have time to do things that being married would restrict her from, ie, things married D women shouldn't be doing. Absolutely nothing to do with her career. She was not marriage material basically.

Oh, it's an absolutely necessary interview. More and more women are becoming like this woman since women began to see the light. It let's us guys know that marriage isn't really the ultimate and isn't really the big deal it used to be. Women think there's no pressure on men to get married. This interview empowers men with the wisdom to handle that pressure and avoid marriage altogether if they are so inclined.

indeed. people easily assume that men don't get pressured. the only difference between the pressure men and women suffer is that women also have to deal with the additional pressure of biological clock.

Family, friends, colleagues never waste time to remind me about marriage. Even single female colleagues older than me do same.

Ellabae:
Career over family? . I have always thought family comes first.

well not for everyone.

She has a right to her priorities. I don't agree with her priorities but i can generalize my thinking to everyone

Castration is an ideal punishment.

dexterinc2003:
Ignorance might be bliss. But raw facts always comes through.
P. S:Always research before beating an empty chest. I pity the only person that liked your comment.

Your lack of logic is disappointing. I still think you are very intelligent though.

My previous post (based on your statement about it not being possible to book a taxify without entering destination) was for you to try booking a taxify without entering a destination. Booking a taxify and entering a destination or checking price estimate does not support your argument.

I have attached a sample of what I requested you do. You don't need to attempt it again

Litmus:
My god.

You know, I couldn't understand why the usually compassionate Nigerians that I knew would respond on either side of this debate with such ugly comments until I came across this comment: "Attention seeker, which kain useless afonja disgrace be this self. If that guy is not released on bail in 24hrs, then his lawyer is poo. Am just vexed." It was then it occurred to me that one of the plaintiff was Yoruba and the other one Igbo (more or less).

So then people are taking sides informed by ethnicity? Well, well,well. I guess I was slow to cotton on because I just saw the issue in terms of
gender, rape, accusations and counter accusations (influenced by that whole Hollywood sex scandal)

Seems to me now that the only good thing that can come of this is if Nigerians see how tribalism poisons their objectivity. And also admit to themselves (the general Nigerians public I mean) that they are the cause of the state of politics in Nigeria, actually the cause of most failed developmental projects too. You people made your politicians the selfish, myopic failures that they are. You people don t want politicians with national outlook, you want them with localised tribal outlook. You consider worthless and not fit for purpose any that don't conform to this limitations you placed on them.

tribal bias, gender bias and a whole lot of subjective bias (history, past experiences etc.). The gender bias is the leader here though.

Meanwhile, if you objectively look at both accounts (Fapson and the driver) and at the video, There is a very little (not zero) chance of this being an attempted rape scenario. The issue was that she tagged him RAPIST in public (social media) immediately after the incident.

dexterinc2003:
Mr man, displaying your ignorance on a social media platform with such arrogance is why Nigeria is where it is today. But let me indulge you a bit by stooping low to ignorance level, so you might learn a thing or 2.

1. You cannot book a taxify service without a destination. It is GPS-based, which means you need a current location and a destination tobook the service, it is not cabu cabu that you just stop on the road side and enter.

2. Taxify is used worldwide and not only in Nigeria. The aim is to increase the ease of transportation, and it is private, meaning i can sit in my room,book a taxify cab at whenever i want to and get my service (which you probably don't know is a cashless transaction).

3. You sound like a misogynist who believe women have no freedom of movement. Please which century did you drop from,
You may now proceed to having several seats. idiaataaaa!!!!

you CAN actually book a taxify without a destination. try to do that first and come back. Don't confuse taxify with Uber

Ladyhippolyta88:
Attention seeker what are you doing with a married man not only that he is beating you you are still with him.Looking for sympathy and wants to play the victim the man obviously doesn't beat you well.

@ the bolded, I get your point but violence is violence. Dating a married man is a moral issue. I am surprised no one is calling for the man's head.

i dont care about his cheating on his wife but he (or his wife) has no right to beat her up like this na

khiaa:
Do they?

I think they dont.

what do you think?

khiaa:
It is sad that people worship these pieces of shyts. Is he Catholic?

Nope. Why do you ask?

Do catholics worship their priests?

Gofwane:
Dats quite unfortunate. I really tried to see reasons why a guy will get attracted to another man but i never saw any!

How on earth can you be comfortable smooching, kissing and drilling a fellow man's asss

I prefer to die of hiv from a pvssy than live healthy and be banging another guy's nyash.

how about reasons why one guy desires to have sex everyday and another isnt interested in sex?

@op Since you are a Christian, I would start by letting you know God loves you and the last thing he wants you to do is give up and commit suicide. There is nothing sinful in having homosexual sexual orientations. The sin only occurs when you act (actions or actively lusting) on it. People with homosexual orientations are called to live a life of chastity. Your cross (battling your feelings) is no tougher than a heterosexual male with a relatively high libido who has taken a vow of chastity. You will deal with sexual frustration and the likes but with will, discipline and prayer, you will overcome. Start by having a spiritual director and an accountability partner. You will also find mentors like yourself who have dealt with this struggle.

Note that I say this only because you are a Christian. Homosexuality is only a moral wrong and few countries consider it a civil or criminal offence. You are at war with self and not at war with the heterosexual or homophobic community

ReinaFarine:
My role most times determines my respect. If you think of a woman as a weak, fish-brained, aesthetic vessel for childbearing and nothing more, you will never accord her the respect she deserves as a smart, strong, problem solving human. If you think of her as cheap for proposing relationship, you will definitely act differently towards her than if she had let you propose.

You are going in a different tangent.

if you disrespect people because they do not agree with your expectations and perceived roles for them then you should work on that first.

ReinaFarine:
Will you deem it too forward for a lady to ask you out?

to add to my earlier point:

thinking that a woman should do a particular role does not logically translate to discriminating against those who do not fit those role expectations.

Freedom of religion allows me to practice my religion. However, believing in one religion makes you think in your head that those practicing other religions are wrong. does this translate to discrimination? No

If i were to refuse them work or public entry on basis of their religion, would it now be discrimination? Yes

ReinaFarine:
You have a right to your thought doesn't make your thoughts right...
Thinking a woman is cheap or forward for proposing a relationship or marriage is sexist. It starts from the thought... One way or the other if you think it forward, you will act out in the relationship.

great! So we answer the first question: A man who naturally expects to propose to a woman and doesn't expect a woman to propose to him or will consider her too forward (i never said cheap, you did) if she proposes to him is sexist and hence not a feminist.

on a side note read comments on the topic. some of them (from female "true feminists" say male chivalry is sexist.

https://www.quora.com/Can-you-believe-in-feminism-and-still-expect-men-to-be-chivalrous

PrettyCrystal:
‎A young lady identified as Nkechinyerem Chima‎, has urged fellow single mothers like her to be proud and not allow themselves to be shamed by others. The proud mother of one who revealed that she's not up to 28-years-old - shared pictures of her 9-year-old son as she hit out at those criticizing people who have kids outside wedlock.

The beautiful lady who says she's a boss lady took to Facebook to share her story. Read below;

A lot of people say that the can't marry a single mother!!! Yes!!!

Its your choice..... I am a proud single mother of a nine years old dude. I've no shame ..CU's I didn't murder him. Yes I know that in our culture many detest having kids outside wedlock.

But honestly I do not care.... If its not the will of God it won't come to pass....

I am never a second handed Lady....A proud boss lady...A proud God fearing mother...

My son is not a dummy. He's my joy. He's always maintaining 1st position. A lay reader. A chorister

Am not even 28yrs old sef....I HV got my degree....sef..I will stop at nothing to tell the world that abortion is evil....

Fellow single mothers.....Be proud and work Harder....He who laugh last ...laughs best...

Source; https://www.nationalhelm.co/2018/02/proud-single-mother-shares-pictures-of-her-9-year-old-son.html

I like that she kept her esteem, was strong enough not to yield to the pressure to abort and still continued her education. Society pressures young pregnant and unmarried ladies to abort.

I also like that she said it is "their" choice to not want to marry a single mother. That's a rational mentality there not victim mentality.

You are the MVP Nkechi !!!

MissWrite:
What do you mean by this? You make it sound like I shocked you with sudden homosexual content in the middle of your wanking session . Anyway, I didn't "bring homosexuality into a straight sex scenario" I'm not talking about a straight sex scenario, I'm talking about a man's ability to stop sex halfway through a bout. Whether his object is a man or a woman should be immaterial unless you're supposing that a man's ability to control himself would depend on what kind of sex he was having.


And please, this isn't a game. It's not about scoring points (with whom, sef?). These are real issues which need to be addressed.

your analogy is wrong when you said "... waking up to feel another man's penis in his ass". There was no initial consent given to be withdrawn.

You should have put it that "imagine two gay men who agree to have sex and then midway one requests the other to pull out ...."