₦airaland Forum

trustyshoess:
What do you mean by gender roles? For example do you believe that it is a woman's job to stay at home, give birth, cook and clean, while it's the man's job to work and pay all the bills?
Could you also explain what kind of societal gender roles you believe in? Thanks

Feminists believe in CHOICE when it comes to gender roles. It should be a woman's choice (depending on how the household is set up) if she wants to be a housewife, not an expectation.
As a feminist, as much as I believe it's unfair to EXPECT a woman to be in the kitchen all day cooking and cleaning like a maid, l also think it's unfair to EXPECT a man to be the sole bread winner who pays all the bills, especially in these times where everything is expensive. That's why equal opportunities in work are important for women so that they can support their household and not have to depend on their husbands, increasing his burden.

gender roles means roles/behaviors that are considered desirable or appropriate for a particular gender. A lot of it stems from the perceived physiology and/or psychology of a gender and is usually defined by culture and/or religion.

for instance, a man being the head of the home/ primary provider is a gender role. A woman managing the home is equally a gender role. A man proposing to a woman is a gender behavior. A woman changing her surname to her husband's is equally a gender behavior.

A belief in gender roles by one person does not infringe on another's right to go against the percieved gender role.

A lady who proposes to her fiance has no wrong. similarly a man who changes his surname to that of his wife.

We should have an opportunity to become what we want to become. This is what society can enforce. Society cannot force people to like/support others who go against the perceived gender role.

If I (a guy) don't want to be the one to propose to my fiancee, I should find a lady who shares my mindset. I wouldnt hate ladies who expect to be proposed to.

if I (a lady) don't want to have primary responsibility for cooking, I would find a guy who does not expect me to be responsible for cooking. I wouldn't hate guys who expect their wives to be responsible for cooking.

Gender roles do not infringe on ones dignity or opportunity to become whatever one wants to become.

trustyshoess:
Those job roles you just mentioned are already carried out by women in forward thinking societies. This is what feminism is about, giving women the right to work in whatever role they want as long as they are qualified and competent. There are male nurses and midwives, male ticket sellers, the taxi I got in 2 weeks ago was driven by a woman. Everybody should be free to do what they like and are passionate about (as long as they're qualified), not held back by archaic social norms that do nothing but make people miserable

I stand for:

Equality in Dignity irrespective of Gender, Race, Religion etc.
Equality in Opportunities irrespective of the same above.

but I believe in the concept of Gender Roles both in marriage/family and in society. I however believe that those who want to be exceptions should be allowed (given the opportunity) to do so.

Am I a feminist?

BigBashiru:
The crux of the matter is if a woman told a man she can't date him becos he is over 30, the woman risks losing her life from violence from the man.

It's obviously a double standard but is a women's issue.... so I will post it in a women only forum and the thread is now closed.

you were not doing too bad until you wrote this.

You are far more emotional and subjective than you think you are. The other guys (although very crude and uncivil) did better at logically analyzing your post

babadee1:
She called him a rapist because he drove her to his house and tried to drag her out of the car. If anybody did that to your sister you would call him a rapist too.

if their gender was reversed, would you call her a rapist?

babadee1:
The whole story has been blown out of proportion. It's obvious it was a misunderstanding on both their parts. However, nowhere at all did the actress ever accuse the driver of raping her. She said he took her to a house at a remote location and tried to drag her out of the car.
As a result, she assumed he was either a kidnapper or a rapist. That's a reasonable conclusion to reach based on the events.

she actually did

put a picture of him and tagged it "RAPIST !!!"

booqee:
There are many cases like this just like the shola fapson case, that it's obvious to some of us that the lady is lying.
But after you air your opinion now especially as a lady.. They will say "women are their own enemies", "women support your fellow woman".

Please forget that thing... Some few women are actually wicked like this..

exactly. they make it a men vs women thing when it should be a question of morality and criminality.

how can someone tell me I should support my fellow man even when there is a high probaility he is in error. Stupid mentality I say.

Another problem with the feminism thing - up to 70% (equal dignity, equal opportunities, no violence etc.) of it are noble pursuits but it is still fought with the mentality of men vs women.

Ugosample:
I don't need the likes or attention.

I'm adressing the foolish thinking of these black monkeys I call country men

Adekunle tweet is correct and spot on, whether you guys like it or not

he adressed those who accused Dorcas of lying as animals.

the keyword is the word "Other"

of course i agree it is animal-istic to think a girl who is indecently dressed deserves to be raped but that was not what his tweet was about

zeko172:
Maybe u guys should go on youtube and watch the video of what actually transpired between the two,the girl actually recorded d incidence,then u will know this guy is just a blatant liar

can you send a link please. I am interested in her unedited recording

Evegreen:
Really?? I'm extremely surprised by what Nairalanders, especially the male folks, are saying as regards this issue. Where's the Nairaland of yesterday that says a big "NO" to rapists. When did we start supporting rapists? The police has not even declared the man innocent and here we are, already giving 80% support to the man. Provided the lady's not a celebrity, would we have believed her story? I expect the police to carry out a God fearing and error-free investigation. But before then, let's stop casting blames; let's stop promoting this traumatizing thing called rape. It will only prevent victims from speaking out when attacked by rapists. Please protect the female gender! #I STAND FOR JUSTICE#

true. nothing is conclusive. A lot of peeps only came out (wrongly) in defense of the guy because he was already being painted as a rapist.

Humans (especially ladies) are easily emotional/subjective. A lot of peeps will use their experiences or what they have heard others experienced to judge the guy (or the lady) rather than the facts and what can be inferred thereof.

evexx1:
Wait o! Chineke!
So you don't even believe God exists? How would you now believe anything else?
I feel sorry for you. Hell awaits you with arms opened wide. You're even worse than the taxi driver, at least even though he's a rapist- he knows God exists. Smh.

why do you think the taxi driver is a rapist?

kimbraa:
Seems the truth hurts. If I'm not a whòre, and someone calls me that... I can never pick offence. That you took offence simply because you were called "Broke" means you're actually broke but in the stead of picking offence, go and work.

the word broke is relative. A lady could call me broke because she thinks I am broke even though I did not consider myself broke.

It would still be offensive. My choosing not to take offence does not excuse the offense given.

bonechamberlain:
very wise question. senior ministers, the same ministers he once called noise makers. what's their impact. ministers(noise makers) he won't listen to

buhari is senseless, this is just a distraction.

he should stop talking. Each time he talks, i start seeing the truth about his parochial and nepotistic tendencies

Hadone:
It's happening almost everyday, and simply because they're Fulani they deserve no sympathy

abi o

not all fulani are herdsmen. Not all herdsmen are killers.

You can only defend yourself not retaliate on the innocent. Leave that one to God

YelloweWest:
Good question.

I always tell people, define terms before contracting a marriage!

If you want a submissive wife make it unambiguously clear.
If u want a partner, make that know too.

I told My husband from day one that I don't understand the concept of being submissive in a marriage. I will be respectful but not submissive.

Agreed 100%.

These things are better discussed now that a lot of us have different ideas of what we expect from marriage. It prevents tensions later.

Guys should be clear if they are traditional and still expect the submission thing or if they are for "equality".

Blackhawk03:
Dude wasn't in love alone, he was neck deep in foolishness. Who borrows money to throw a bash for a girlfriend because she graduated? Make she no kuku graduate na... Mstcheeeeew!

I'm a lady, I doubt the possibility of me dating a man for that long without us doing the do. No way!

is he not supposed to respect her wishes if she says no again

greiboy:
Marriage is already a contract in itself, since a contract is an agreement between two or more people that is enforced by law.

If you want to break your marriage contract, you can go to court to seek a divorce.

he wants it to be a termed contract

[quote author=Evaberry post=64092996][/quote]they drive both men and women. not just women

Ayodejioak:

Because the holy spirit can minister and interprete to us with different explanations but same meaning.

freeze is talking about differences in doctrine (meaning).

There can be only one truth and the Holy Spirit cannot provide two different meanings

CplusJason:
And to crown it all, She's beautiful.



I just love female soldiers... There's something sexy about them.

do you remember the guy who compliment-ed a soldier by saying "you are beautiful".

be warned!

13ShadesOfMay:
Was this lady partially hypnotized or she ain't the smart type?! either way, her story instigate a lot of empathy!

There are people who manipulate for a living using all means of verbal and non-verbal communication.

This is a professional rapist. A psycho. This is not some idiot who coerced a girl to have sex with her against her will.

Everything that lady says there is true.

madridguy:
Misplaced priority

Well he has a point. However, he should note that the gregorian calendar is not necessarily Christian. If it was Christian then Easter would be on the same day of every year. The Gregorian calendar is very recent (1582) and replaces the Julio Calendar.

The Gregorian Calendar is actually the most secular Calendar in the world right now.

kimbraa:
Even a clerk in Shell who's on a 400k salary earns better than some bankers. Meanwhile, she's just a common clerk.

I think the banker (full staff) is better off in terms of career progression, health insurance, pension and other employment benefits

kimbraa:
I said previously that a clerk in Shell earns 400k 'cause I know one and how much she earns. Secondly, I said an Engineer in Shell earns 2m 'cause I've a family friend who earns that amount there. I was very specific and didn't contradict both.

There are firstbank workers who live on 50-100k pay just as there're cleaners and drivers in firstbank who live on 25/30k pay. Mind you, I never said some are not well pay. Those of them that are fond of bragging about their pay on NL live on the glory of the job, not that they're well paid.

noted.

I had thought you were comparing a clerk in Shell to a full staff in a Bank. The 50-100k pay are in the contract staff of the Bank

kimbraa:
That's laughable. Don't type what you're not sure of. An engineer in Shell earns 2M. Shell MD is like a governor.

a clerk in Shell is no Engineer. He/She is a contract staff. It is definitely better to be a full staff in a Bank than a clerk in Shell.

Salary increase in IOCs (except NNPC) is not as steep as in Banks.

... and then FirstBank is special. Those at the top earn crazy @ Firstbank.

kimbraa:
The bank job is a prestigious one so they all hide under that grace to glorify themselves. A clerk in Shell earns about 400k monthly which I'm sure is more than what some bank MDs earn. I know of a guy that had to quit his bank job 'cause the pay wasn't good enough to give him what he wants. There's another that's complaining of making his fiancée wait for too long 'cause he's not been able to save up enough for marriage. I'm not in anyway saying there're no bankers that are earning well enough but not all of them.

You're not far from the truth 'cause no one knows tomorrow.

An MD of firstbank would definitely earn more than the MD of Shell Nigeria (SEPCIN, SPDC, SNEPCO). The average Bank Manager earns more than 400k monthly.

A clerk in Shell could be on a 400k monthly salary for 10 years hoping his contract gets reviewed.

Jodha:
I just pity that innocent... Unfortunate lady that'll end up with this one...

well many nairaland girls will not date/marry nairaland boys too. it wont make their would-be husbands unfortunate.

pocohantas:
Bad character was my stumbling block

or anti-menism

pocohantas:
Never knew I had a good side
Thanks, it remains a classic.

you actually do.

pocohantas:
Menist have overtaken the thread. Women are the problem, men are near perfect. Women change o!!!

i usually see post from feminist and their myopic view. Always seeing things from their gender bias.

Today I am seeing another angle. Menists shifting blame.

Selflessness and Rationalism are two qualities that beat any other.

Daeylar:
When he becomes more possessive and abusive she should continue to laugh and not disturb us oh,

it's little signs like this people ignore.

Removing her wig because she was talking to guys,
Didn't she go there to talk to people?
Didn't the boyfriend also talk to girls?

maybe he didnt

Safiaaa:
This is not to bash Nigerian Men at all. This is just an observation and I have every right to my opinion. I'm also not generalizing, talking about the majority.

Now I've observed something about most Nigerian men that I don't seem to understand. It baffles me and it's very distasteful. I've honestly come to the conclusion that you guys indirectly know what you want but cover it with deceit. I know every effing person has heard this phrase ' All Nigerian women bring to the table is pussy and nothing else, they're useless', but indirectly that's exactly what they want.

You see, a lot of Nigerian men have inflated fragile egos. They run after things that stroke their manhood, which is fine. The problem is that most of them are in denial. When a woman has nothing to offer but her pussy, she's dependent on you in every other aspect, especially financially. And as we all know most men find security and confidence in their pocket size. So when a woman depends on a man for her finances, it's almost like she's stroking his ego and confidence at the same time. He likes that superior/ dominant feeling. It's what most Nigerian men crave for. That financial dominance is a safety ego ground that they can always run back to.

On the other hand, when a woman is financially independent got her life together and doing well for herself, what do Nigerian men do? Run the opposite direction. Why? Intimidation. Insecurity. Fear of feeling inferior. Calling her all sorts of names. A woman who is independent will not NEED to beg you for money or ask you for anything. So in that case, they're not feeling as ' manly' as they would like. It burns them internally. Jealousy, envy and lies will begin to fall into the picture. If you don't agree with that you're on a long thing.

So Nigerian men, stop being in denial. If you want a woman who only offers her pussy and frequent emotional availability here and there, just be honest with yourself. A financially independent woman is not for the emotionally weak minded. Indirectly, most of you want a woman who is financially dependent on you. You want that financial dominance, that superiority. My problem is that when she's offering that pussy to you, don't complain. Accept it like a ' man' and take on the financial responsibility. If not, change your class of women. Financially independent women should not intimidate you or scare you away. Go for the women who will compete with you in finances. The ball is in your hands, take responsibility for your damn actions, and stop acting confused all the time.

Dassal.

you are speaking from your own experiences and generalising as "Nigerian Men". Men are not homogenous. Neither are women. And if we are going to take a sample space and look at the numbers, you will likely find that more men prefer independent women.

ezewealth:
Am I the only one that notice that bank didn't sent us season greetings. I hope all our money is intact

they send new year not christmas