₦airaland Forum

Children need to be properly cleared up.
My husband is very conservative and so when our 8 year old son asked him where children come from my husband said they were a gift from God.
He probably thought it was the best answer at that age but my son came to me in the evening when his father was out and told me.
"Mama Papa said children are a gift from God is it true?"
I told him it was true.
He kept quiet but had this disgusted look on his face. After a long while he asked me.
"Mama, does it mean that God puts his hand into all the women's bum to put the babies in?"

So much for clearing up.

fem29:
I just showed this to my husband and he was flabbergasted, . Mutter the menist

Please explain.
Did I say something wrong
I was trying to be logical!

Well this picture just proves that what a woman can do a man looks ridiculous trying to do .

Women are indeed God`s special creation!

But OP, How could yoube sleeping when your husbandwas out.
Do you know how risky that can be, he might get attacked while bannging to enter the house.

Nothing justifies a man laying his hand on a woman but this was wrong.

Secondly it is wrong to stop a child`s schooling for flimpsy reasons. You should have found an alternative.

Absolutly nothing wrong with them going together.
They don`t stop being human just because they are married.
They can also go alone with friends.
The key word here is trust.
Apart from family outings we go out alone too. Someone has to be there with the kids. So either he goes out or I go out.
However we don`t do this often maybe once in a few months.
I sometimes go clubbing with my sister and some other friends. However with time you loose interest in clubing.
The enviroment you are in also plays a role.
Also the couple.. My husband trust me and let`s me go out because he believes that I need time off to unwind with all my responsibilities.
If you are the kind of person that might fall into temptation, better stay away from such things.

Even without a job when you have children there are so many things to do to keep you busy.
Are you just sitting around the house doing nothing?
If you don`t have a job you don`T need househelps because you can get the work done so too avoiding costs.

Most people that have excess weight, claim they don`t eat much . Write down everything you put in your mouth then you will see just how much you eat.

Getting a job is not a problem if you really want a job. You can start by taking a job below your qualification and work yourself up. The best way to get a job is to be in a job.

Just marry her. They have literally given her to you!
How could you let her pack in at the age of 31.

Just tell your wife you plan to marry her to make itt official and you will see how fast that sister-in-law is gone

I think you can still take a few punches. That is why you are talking of revenge instead of thinking on how to get the abuse to stop.

eleojo23:
Sorry about your unpleasant experience from the so-called friends.
Most (out of the few) friends I have are my friends from childhood with whom I've done a lot of things together and they've been of great help. I've made a few new ones along the line and the basis is mutual benefit - you help me to grow and I also help you to grow. Thus we contribute positively to each other's lives.

it is such a shame. When I moved to Europe I imagined I would meet loads of wonderful nigerians and africans. I came to discover that even the nigerians in the most interior part of Nigeria or in the wildest joints are more cultivated than many africans you meet here.
This never ceases to amaze me.

No! great minds need their own company.

The problem is you are like a closed book, but the moment you open up: they read you, use you, abuse you and dump you.

Remain the way you! Be true to yourself. The world has got enough court clowns.

Actually grew up and schooled in Nigeria before I left. Yes I am a bit fairer but have curly hair. My parents come from Nigeria/Europe.

offspec:
I know the right word is mixed race but i only wanted to use one familiar to we nigerians. I hope you didn't school in France . You sister is dark? Where do you parents come from?

At a CWO seminar the women were advising each other to just make friends that bring you forward. I had to ask them what they had to offer if they only wanted to take.
Those friends i did so much for were the one`s that turned round to stab me.
My friends from childhood are the one`s I treasure the most.

@ tpiah do you want waka pass or be civil as an option but then when it comes to marriage, then what?

THESE THINGS CALLED GENES HAVE TO BE RESPECTED- because they are very strong.

In the days of old before entering into any relationship one made enquiries about the family, because our ancestors were wise enough to understand the power of genes.

In those days a man will consider before committing a crime because he knew that his whole family will suffer. Today it has all changed.
Even more glaring is when young men migrate and take up a new identity.
They become impossible without any manners and get really criminal . Nothing to loose because it is not their real identity.

Half caste is kind of
Mixed race, bi-racial or whatever.

I heard all versions as a kind, Mulatto, unfortunate European, made in Taiwan and so many more. Please don`t use that again . It is offensive to them.
.. and yes they do have dark ones, my sister is really dark but she has lovely straight hair. Something of both sides is always there.

That is why it is very important for a mother to be close to her daughter so that the daughter will be able to confide everything to her.

There is no point running after your daughter, pulling your ear the the ground and shouting , - I hope you are still a virgin don`t bring disgrace to the family.
The most important thing is also to bring up your daughters with self esteem and high moral values.
Also where possible try as much as possible to cater for their needs so they don`t get desperate to sacrifice their their virginity for material things.
But more important than that- teach them to be modest and content with what they have.
Above all show them love and affection because most girls run to the hands of men in search of love and affection.

cococandy:
ok I believe you. I believe you

Even the part where you preach equality to your son and preach something else to us

You got me there. But then I really teach my sons that women are equal to men.
Women are mothers of the nation and deserve the utmost respect.

cococandy:
wow. So you've added telling porkies to your many talents?
Mutter
Mutter

How many times did I call you?

Abeg call me the third time Cococandy

This really happened!!! For once I had to shut my mought and accept defeat.

OT years back I was driving my son to his first communion classes and giving him a lecture on women being equal to men and that anything a man can do a woman can do. This was because he was in this;I am a boy stage.
Suddenly he said,"Mom, stop the car" He jumped out went to the side of the road and started peeing. He turned round while ppeingand said "Mom get down and pee, if you can do everything a man can do!"
I was like

A good idea however the problem is it could lead to insult.

Woman - you are not even a man I am the one that married you.

Man- you were so desperate you even paid me to marry you.

..and she is following well in their footsteps. Soon she will be declared a prophetess and start having her own congregation.


Why do people think they need a VIP ticket to see God. Just try and live a good life and leave all these fraudulent pastors alone.

repogirl:
@mutter, I didn't want to reply you ooo but my conscience didn't let me.

I will be short, its not about being fair to the African wife cos she has a kid or whatnot, the OP was lied to and married to under false pretenses, I.e, the man is only with her for what he can get from her. I bet if you found out you were being used in this way, you will flip out and act even more irrational than findingtruth.

You advised her to consider polygamy..... Well, I can assure you that in a few years time when the lying opportunist of a husband can be on his own feet and has no need of his benefactor, he's going to divorce OP, marry his Naija wife legally and take her and his kid(s) over to the states.

My advice to OP, get that fool deported ASAP!!

I even LIKED your post!!
I advised her to polygamy because she is hell bent on not leaving the man. She got that advice so often here. I also mentioned that if I were in her shoes I would get rid of the man.
But No! she wants to have the man enslaved to her. Have complete control of his money and by so doing he will never be able to go home.
Thus I advised her to polygamy.
Better for her to share the man. If she does this she can still have a part of it.
I know many cases where the men divorce to bring the women abroad but still have a relationship with the wife abroad. It is just for the paper formalities.
Besides most nigerian men are now keen of having a family raised in Nigeria to have their base there too. I know many nigerians married to nigerians abroad who go home to marry a second wife.
Years back we encouraged it thinking they did it because white women cannot understand our culture but today it is happening to Nigerian women.
Besides I know quite a few men who have a polygamous home. One wife abroad and one at home. It works but it has it`s challenges.

DieeDiee:
No kids, so imma just play with you

Okay watchout that you don`t get sand in your eyes and hair

DieeDiee:
Bet you think you know Kim Kardashian as if she were your sister you grew up with ne? I'm sure you just LIVE for reality TV. What do you do? Stalk celebrities on line, email, instagram and Facebook them? There's something called boundary, you clearly have never heard of it. OP came here for advice not for judgement or for people to live her life. What of the Nigerian woman? I don't know her, I wouldn't recognise her if I saw her, why would I concern myself with her? Did she ask for advice? If OP broke the rules and that offended you, you should have just reported her to the moderators to deal with not take it upon yourself to "punish" her.

Gosh are you for real! Please go play with your kid`s in the sandbox

My mum taught me that it does not matter how often you fall, what is important is to get up dust yourself and move on.

Then one day she didn`t get out from bed. Fell into a coma. She remained that way almost twenty years. A shadow that hung over every joyful and every sorrowful event in my life.

.. and the one faithful day she slipped away... I put a banner on her grave..

...free at last, your free at last, thank God in heaven you are free at last.

Money does not smell! As long as it is made in an honest way.

Years back I used to sell dry fish in the office. Initially my friends were like "how can you!" . Very soon they were even comming to my home to buy.

Ewuro4:
'Tales by moonlight' I suggest Mutter should write a book or a diary - housewives diary amuse me
Don't mind the madam. She wan quench on top the matter.

You get a free copy

You people will spoil me in this forum Abeg! before they ban me here.

mos123:
I'm really confused and don't know how to start. I'm not emotionally stable now, pls moderator or people incharge can help me correct any grammatical blunder in my story.
I'm into long distance relationship and we've been dating going to 2 years now.But my fiancee was being unfaithful but after so much confrontation she changed drastically, though there's still some traces of unfaithfullness but what pained me most is that she aborted pregnancy without my consent. And as a matter of fact she has been taken me for granted all because it seems I love her more than the way she loves me.
But our wedding is in couples of months. I'm really thinking of postponing the wedding or even calling it quit but because of the advance stage we're. But I'm thinking of going for the wedding and pay her back in her own coins after the wedding. Because she makes me feel bad whenever I remember. And she has promised me to be faithful and change a new leaf if I can meet her parents and she meets mine which I granted her. I'm really confused. Pls any advice from mature mind is welcome.

This girl was cheating on you. That is hard but we do know that with the situation in Nigeria today, in fact it even happens in some European countries- students are forced into a form of prostitution to fend for themselves.
So I am very careful about outright condemning the girls.

If the soul is left in darkness, sins will be committed. The guilty one is not he who commits the sin, but the one who causes the darkness.
― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables

So basically I blame the politicians and others that made Nigeria what it is today.
She aborted without telling you- that is her right as an unmarried woman. Pregnancy before marriage is hard on the girl and has long term consequences.

The most important thing is that you FORGAVE her and went on to plan marriage.
The sad thing is that you never really forgave her. You just never realized it that you do not have a big enough heart to forgive and forget.

Let me tell you allot of men even husbands of so called virgins are or were in the same position as you. They just did not come on the forum crying.
Be a man and stand to your bride. What counts is that she has changed drastically and she promised to change and you granted her that chance. So what is confusing you now?
I have seen allot of things in my life. So called virgins that turn out to be a nightmare in marriage. Then again women that have even once been in prostitution that turned out to be the most humble and loving wife`s.
Forgiving her and starting a life with her shows character and that you are a real man. Don`T mind some men here that have Ego issues.

Congratulations! I thank God for this union that no man will ever have the power to put asunder.
MAy God grant you many years of bliss and a marriage blessed with children.

But if I may advice you, maybe because you are both shy but there seems to be some kind of distance between the two of you, from the pictures like you are not comfortable with being close. In the first pic almost as if you are holding him of. In the next picture you are like facing different directions.

My daughter just grab that man of yours and hold him real close. Hugs and kisses and no shyness between a woman and a man. Put some passion into the marriage.
That is my advice to you.
Could be the pictures are lying though.

In real life yes but here their biz is our biz
That is why she brought it on this forum.
This woman even broke the rules by giving out true identities and pictures of everyone involved.
What would a forum be like if everyone is minding their biz?

you feel for her, here on a forum now just imagine ho the bride felt in Nigeria when all her friends were contacted over FB. I don`t want to imagine the contents of the posts.

Mopricelezz:
Over two years? Waoh, u tried ooo.. My son is 1yr6mnths... Am weaning him cos it af taya me jaare, nd he doesn't really want to eat, just bosom feeding.. Pls I don't get d part where u talked about 'Infection'.... Pls explain better.. Tanks

IF the breast are too full you might get an infection and fever. You need to ensure that they don`t get too hard. Massage them and do some warm compressions That way some of the milk flows out. The milk flow needs to be stopped gradually.
It is called galactostasia - Symptoms are feeling feverish and body pains.
Ibruprofen is also anti-inflammatory but it is a very strong drug with side effects. Just like most pain killers. If you take even panadol the effects show in your blood days later because the blood becomes more fluid. We tend to take these drugs too often.
You can also seek medical advise.

So while Ibruprofen is good because it has anti inflammatory effects and reduces pain. It does have side effects. And remember pain is an indication that something is not right.