₦airaland Forum

Feminists have long contended that men are the arch enemies of women with proofs to substantiate their allegations: Violence, rape, discrimination, particularly at the work force, double standards (do as I say, not as I do), to mention just a few. While these atrocities has definitely bolster their claims of violence perpetrated by the men folk, the advancement of women in the western society has gradually erased these atrocities. But sometimes tradition die hard, and certain discrimination exists even in today's society. One topic that has continued to raise the ire of these feminists has been the shrinking paycheck of women, compared to their male counterpart. But I am not a feminist, and I strongly believe that man is the head of the family as well as the society. Still, I dont support these atrocities, and I believe that women deserve a place in today's world. But coming back home (Africa), we have one of the worst human records against women. Female circumcision, bride price (marketing a woman as a commodity), abuse, societal's disapproval to female inheritance are all factors that has subjugated the rights of women.

So, while women can confidently say that men are the cause of their problems, how about themselves? Some women can be catty at times among themselves. Competition is rife amongst the female folks. A woman buys a nice set of purse, and sometimes, her copycat friend follows suit. You hear of women sometimes drawing dagger looks at each other over men. And the married ones are quick to banish their spinster friends as soon as their married life begins. True, birds of the same feathers flock together, but the married woman would definitely shun her unmarried friends with their belief that her marriage may hit the rocks, if she were to retain her alliance with her. Visits from the spinister lady to her married friend is sometimes observed with suspicion, which increases if a geniality exists between her husband and the unmarried friend. Some women may even advise others to refrain from sticking out with their unmarried friend because of the consequences that may result from friendship. Unlike us guys who are comfy with hanging out with friends, be they married or single, for women it is quite different.

Backstabbing, gossips and attempts to bring each other down are all too common but hey, feminists will still overlook their own shortcomings. Granted, nobody on earth is perfect but who are really women's worse enemies, their kind or mankind?

P/S: This discourse is not an attempt to promote strife or create schism between members of different gender, but to promote a 'food for thought' discussion.

Here is a picture of Marie Lorofi, Laye's former wife.

http://www.campboiro.org/victimes/camara_marie_lorofi.html

Witchcraft Or Insanity (african Diagnosis Vs The Western Diagnosis)

By SVEN KAESTNER, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 23 minutes ago

FRANKFURT AN DER ODER, Germany - A woman was convicted of manslaughter and sentenced Thursday to 15 years in prison for killing eight of her newborn babies in the 1990s and burying their bodies around her parents' home in a case that shocked Germany.
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Sabine Hilschenz, 40, was given the maximum sentence after the court found her guilty of eight counts of manslaughter. She also was suspected in the death of a ninth child in 1988, but the statute of limitations does not allow for that case to be tried.

Hilschenz was arrested after the remains of the infants were found in July, buried in flower pots and a fish tank in the garden of her parents' home near the German-Polish border.

The macabre discovery and a string of serious child abuse cases caused a media storm in Germany and helped prompt a government drive to improve protection for minors.

Hilschenz declined to testify at her trial, which opened in April, but previously told investigators that she was drunk when she went into labor and could not remember the births.

"We are convinced that the defendant committed manslaughter by neglect in eight cases," presiding Judge Matthias Fuchs told the state court in Frankfurt an der Oder.

Hilschenz has said that she and her then-husband already had three children, and he did not want more.

"She feared that her husband would leave her and take the children with him," Fuchs said.

He said the 1988 death of the first child "formed the basis for what happened later," and that her inhibitions shrank with the death of each of the other eight babies, which were born between 1992 and 1998.

Defense lawyer Matthias Schoeneburg said Hilschenz took the verdict calmly.

"She knew she also had to reckon with a decision like this," he said.

Before the trial began, the court reduced the charges from murder on the grounds that there was insufficient evidence she intended to hide her alleged crimes.

Prosecutors had argued the evidence heard at the trial contradicted that. They called for her to be convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison.

Her defense team argued she should be convicted of only one count of manslaughter and sentenced to 3 1/2 years, maintaining it could not be established conclusively that seven of the babies were born alive.

Schoeneburg said he would appeal the verdict on that basis.

Fuchs, however, said that "there are plenty of indications that all the children were alive."

Prosecutor Anette Bargenda indicated she was satisfied with the verdict, but said she would examine the ruling to determine why the court decided against a murder conviction.

Culled from Yahoo.com

   

Ndipe's comment: In Africa, this woman would be labelled a witch, while in the western nation, she would be diagnosed as a mental case.

Kase Lawal, a Nigerian, residing in Texas whose company is the 2nd biggest black company in the USA. He is featured on the front cover of this month's Black Enterprise magazine.


Is Donald Adeolu Faison a Nigerian? He is on scrubs

What Donald Duke has done is impressive. I grew up in Calabar, (along Goldie lane, schooled at Unical Staff School) though I am from Akwa Ibom State. Publicly, Duke's story sets him aside from the rest of his fellow contemporaries in politics, especially the corrupt ones. I guess there are others whose notable achievements may eclipse his, but have not received the due recognition bestowed on Duke. Calabar is steeped with a rich history that Duke has taken advantage of, in order to transform the city of Calabar into a renowned tourist haven. Yeah, like most people, he has detractors who would try to soil his good work with unmerited allegations.

Still, I would advice caution before plunging into the turbulent terrain of politics. Na true say him be member of Grail movement?

Oprah is at liberty to invite anybody that she pleases to invite. Those rappers that have an axe to grind with Oprah should bury the hatchet and cool down. Gosh, must the lady be everything for them?

Nna, I believe that Nigerians are the happiest people in the world. I am a happy go lucky kind of a guy. Even in America here, regarded as the land of milk and honey, the misery plastered on people's faces sometimes may make you wonder why people dont choose to smile. At work, you are forced to face your duties squarely instead of conversing or even cracking jokes with your co-workers. Ok, it may reduce productivity at work, but would a sullen person increase work output? People think that money buys happiness which is a big fat lie.

Money aint everything.

Hmm, David, because he is the progenitor of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

But regarding character, I have to give that to Joseph. He was able to rise above his brother's betrayals and forgive them later on. He never lost faith in God even after being thrown in jail, for refusing to sleep with his master's wife. (who sai, nowadays, some youths would find that as a bragging right). Another test that he endured with flying colours was when he spent some years in jail, after his jailmate had been released, partly due to him and then forgot to tell the leader about him.

You really have to give him kudos to him. He had a big heart, willing to forgive even his own enemies. When his brother's came to Egypt to buy food during the famine, he would have taken revenge and killed them. But the test he administed to them showed to him that his brothers had come to terms with their earlier sins of selling him into slavery and were remorseful about it. Just read the story about the discovery of Joseph's possession in Benjamin's sack and his brothers were aghast and pleaded with him that their father would be devastated by Benjamin's fate. He could not control his emotions and cried. It is a very touching story.

David had his own merits too, by refusing to kill Saul, even at the slightest opportunity when his enemy fell into his hands. But his adulterous relationship and his ignoble act of having Uriah killed in the battlefield was an inglorious chapter of his life. Nevertheless, they were great leaders and in as much as we could admire their redeeming qualities, lets look unto Jesus Christ as our Role Model. He Atoned for our sins on the Cross so that God will forgive us and admit us into Heaven.

Praise Him in the Highest!!!, Amen

I am not saying it should be ignored, but for goodness sake, why should one have hypertension over something that you are not associated with? To me, whether they talk about it on TV for 24 hours a day, it wont bother me at all. For what? Abeg, it is not worth stressing over it.

C'mon, why are you guys acting as if this is something new? 419 has existed since the 90's, I think, and though I was at first embarrased by the negative publicity surrounding it, when I moved out here, it's all changed. Now, I just shrug my shoulders when someone mentions to me that my country was featured in a damaging documentary or was the highlight of some piece in a Newspaper. So? Is it Nigerians alone that does fraud? In 97, when I was accosted in the elevator by workers in my former company, I retorted, "He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone". And they laughed.

419 has been around, just as corporate embezzlement by the likes of Kenneth Lay, Skilling and the rest of the folks have been perpetuating this inglorious and shameful acts. Give it a break!!

Among the Ashanti of Ghana, children are not recognized as their father's property, but trace their lineage through the matrilineal line. At first, I was that it was an absurd tradition. An interview granted by Nana Rawlings (she was then the first lady of Ghana) that trust was solely lacking in some marriages among the Ashantis did not even make sense to me. Dont get me wrong, I was a teenager then and had not been thrust into the world of betrayal and marital infidelities. I just thought it would be ridiculous if I grew up in Ghana, and then, bam, my father dies, and my mom, including my siblings were kicked out of the house.

As a grown up man, I can't fault their tradition, though I wont adhere to it. On the Oprah Winfrey show, some years back, she had on a guest who narrated a heart rending story to her. He was recently widowed with two daughter and a son, or so he assumed. His two adult daughters were in college when his wife announced that she was pregnant. Naturally, he was excited, an excitement that became intense when he found out that the foetus was a boy. Later on, she gave birth to a baby boy, but died months after her delivery. Devastated, the man told Oprah that it was the month old baby that saw him through the crisis in his life. A year or so later, he received a nasty letter from some guy telling him to return the baby, that it wasnt his. Dumbfounded, he made an investigation and the case landed in court. A DNA was taken and the baby was not his, his wife had cheated on him.

The man, still would not give up on the child he so much loved and the presiding judge agreed with him, so he had to share custody with the real biological father of his wife's baby. He told Oprah that the child sometimes seemed confused (he was past five then) and would ask him who the other man was that was coming to pick him up for visitation rights. Oprah asked him if he had told him the truth that the man was actually his biological father, but he shook his head. So, when he was asked again if he knew that his late wife had been unfaithful, he replied in the negative, but told her that upon investigation, the phone calls, and the trips she had undertaken all made sense to him.

I aint even going to ask any of you if the judge should award custody of the child to the biological father of this child, because I wouldnt (maybe an unpopular view, but I stick to it), but my question is this, would you perform a DNA test on your children?

Even the most confident men sometimes get edgy or even offended if a remark that "The child looks like their mother" is made. But in Nigeria chances of a woman conceiving a child outside the black race is quite slim because of our more than 90 percent black population. Abroad here with different mixture of races, hmmm, sometimes a child with a different color from the father is bound to raise suspicion.

I know I would do a DNA test on my kids, unless they are my spitting image. Heck, if I insist on a prenup, why would I not do a DNA testing on my , that those two are co-related, what will prevent an unfaithful woman from cleaning out her husband?kids? My supervisor at work told me that he wouldnt, because of the trust he would have on his wife, but he will insist on a prenup though. But these two scenarios are co-related, an unfaithful wife may still divorce the husband and take half of his property.

What do you think?


P/S: Here is the Oprah show that interviewed the widower who found out that his late wife was unfaithful to him. The latest news is that the judge finally awarded custody of the boy to his biological father. Here it is, https://www.oprah.com/own-oprahshow/a-dna-test-reveals-a-family-secret-after-moms-death

@gigette

You mean billings method?

Sometimes, I wonder about the future of our society when some people can come up with a topic that is not worth debating.

Very shameful!!!

I agree with your discourse, Metroman but with reservations though. The survey about Nigerians being the Happiest people in the world received mixed reviews. My friend was asking me how people could be happy when they have not been paid salaries for months and went on a tirade on the challenges associated with living in Nigeria. I accepted the survey and I know that I was happier living in Nigeria than living in America. However, the dimension might change, because back home, I lived under the care of my parents. Over here, it is different, so if my parents were in the states, that probably would be a different scenario.

On the subject of psychiatrists, even as a medical student, you should be aware that people do not keep statistics back home. I am even surprised that there exists a data of psychiatrists back home. Insanity is a taboo in Nigeria that is very rarely discussed so those afflicted with such problems are kept under lock and key in their household to prevent a scandal. People do have mental problems back home, but sometimes it countered with prayers. Strong family network which is gradually disintegrating back home keeps people from being despondent. Yankee is different. It is a dog eat dog world here, but the amenities do ameliorate the situation. At least if you are jobless, you may qualify for unemployment benefits which is alien in Nigeria.

Nevertheless, I will pick Nigeria over any other place in this world. It is very unfortunate that our politicians have messed up our country, thus prompting people to seek refuge in foreign lands.

Please read this and then state your reasons on the role USA should play in foreign affairs.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/africa/05/23/koinange.rape.war/index.html

Perhaps, prenup became a popular concept/idea among the rich in order to 'protect' their asset from gold diggers.

What Is Your opinion on Prenuptial Agreement?

Prenuptial agreement is widely popular in the USA transcending nearly all economic class, but mostly common among the nouveau riche. People get married, and when they are not blinded by love, they ask the inevitable questions, "What if this doesnt work out, how do we share our property"? In California, when a couple tie the knot and then divorce, property is equally divided, irrespective of your contribution/share in your erstwhile married home.

But Nigeria, who sai? So, people in a bid to protect their asset, insist on a prenuptial agreement. Sometimes, Love, the ultimate conqueror binds the couple until their eventual death, but you never know whom you are marrying sometimes. Some folks do have a sneaky and shady personality that they conceal during the courtship period, and especially when one is susceptible to being covered with blinders all in the name of Love, those blinders sometimes get taken off after marriage, and one gets to see the other side of their mate.

So few last week, Paul Mccartney and his wife, Heather called off their relationship. The gossip mill churning out in the publications and Television is that Paul will have to pay big time for not insisting on a pre-nup. His estranged wife, actually wanted to sign one, but he turned down her offer, calling it 'unromantic'. Same stuff has been happening to people, so while others are so lucky that they might not be taken to the cleaners, others do live a life of regret.

So, in your opinion, would you insist on signing a prenup? Is it a Christian thing to do? When you do have doubts about the relationship, then that means, it is not worth taking a step further in legalizing it, but at the same time, one can get upended in the course of marital life, like infidelity and take the unfortunate path of divorce.

I would not have a problem with it. My mom retained her maiden name along with my dad's last name and pops was ok with it.
As a matter of fact, I always thought it weird that a woman would bear her husband's first and last name, kind of reducing her status to that of the children in the household. You know how kids bear their papa's first and last name. Always thought the wife's one would be different.

Tell you friend to travel to Canada for vacation, or perhaps take some time off work (like an extended leave), move to Canada for three to six months. then hustle for a job and then weigh the pros and cons of working a menial job. 400 thousand Naira is too much money for one to give up for Canada.

Obasanjo's ills are coming back to haunt him. He betrayed Awolowo in the late 70's, because he was afraid of being probed. Now, his actions are coming back to haunt him, in the sense that he would never be regarded as a statesman, nor ranked amongst the few African Heads of State like Nyerere and Senghor who voluntarily relinquished power.

Bye Bye Obj, you wont be missed!!!

At first, I resented the intrusion of the USA in affairs of other countries. Commonly referred to as the "Global Policeman" of the world, the USA has such a vast influence in today's society, that has been met with resentment and repercussions. Their effort in installing peace in Somalia resulted in the death of at least one of their soldiers in Somalia. I can recall seeing a picture of the soldier being dragged on the streets of Somalia. But lately, the same resentment that I had towards them has quietly evolved into an admiration. Their unofficial thumb of rule "If don't tow our line, we are not going to assist you" has sometimes led to the introduction of policies that have been beneficial to the economy. When the USA invaded Iraq, the oppostion (including myself) cried foul, accusing them of creating instability in the country. While the war has generated a horde of complaints and created dissidents, the abuse of power, metted out by Saddam Hussein is now history. In place is a newly elected president, while the former tyrant is languishing in jail. At other times, others have called off their bluff, clinging tight to power and furthermore imposing some draconian measures to quell civil unrests in the country. Zimbabwe under Mugabe have ignored those bluffings and as some of you may know, the country has descended into chaos with Mugabe still plotting on how to extend power, even past his 70's. So, while the USA's intrusion in foreign affairs at the risk of neglecting their domestic issues like rebuilding New Orleans, eradicating homelessness, can be compared to constant meddling of the dreaded mother inlaw, detested by her daughter in law, what role do you think the USA should play in foreign affairs? Abandon a foreign country to decay into crumbs, like the present tragedy in Darfur, Sudan or risk the ire of its critics and invade Iraq? Do you think that every country should install democracy, or should every country practise their own system of government without the prying eyes of the USA?

Quite funny@seun

I do not suffer from inferiority complex. I am the kind of guy who is adept at handling conversations at a cocktail party with a managing partner of a law firm and at the same time, at ease in cracking palm kernel with my peers at a kitchen hearth.

I don't care how much money a lady makes or what family she hails from, I am my own person. People tend to think that I am 'cocky', while others who know me say that I am humble. My brother's relationship and subsequent marriage to a Medical student was quite a shocker to some people. People were asking me, "Is she really a medical student, or is she pre-med"? And one of them has a visible stature in the society here in the bay area. Another one has a Masters degree. So, while education is usually seen as a stepping stone in curbing one's inferiority complex, that does not really hold true. To be confident, you have to be humble and believe in yourself.

That's insanity. I loved my mother for that. Never meddled in people's affairs. Her words, "I will never be a meddling sister inlaw" still rings true.

Sometimes, I just don't know why women, when they marry the husband, they try hard to exclude him from his family members. Haba, where were you when the family toiled hard to send him to school? Now that their rewards is about to pay off, woman comes in, and automatically drives out the husband's family, while positioning her family members in the household. But all in all, I can't support that treatment of inlaws beating up the wife of their relative. It is an insult.

From what I heard, Arizona is perhaps the hottest state in the USA. It is a desert, period. Temperatures climbing to more than 100 degrees. Dang!!!. Even here in the bay area, 80 degrees and you are uncomfortable.

I meant popular culture. What are our contributions to the rise of popular culture in today's society?