₦airaland Forum

In 1998, I went to cool off with a bottle of mirinda in a shop @ Ladylak, Lagos. The curious little boy in the shop picked up an item from the shelve and asked me: what is inside this thing Uncle? I answered: why not check it out by opening it. The boy said: it's sealed, my mum will beat me if I open it because nobody will buy it. So, I told him again: then ask your mother. He answered: I have, he refused to tell me, is it bread? But it doesn't spoil!
I laughed so loosely that people started looking in our direction....



Readers...Guess what it is...
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ALWAYS SANITARY PAD!
The big old type!!!

20. Being told that the money you expected to withdraw hasn't reflected in your account after queing for 2hrs in UBA or Access

21. Requesting for a/c balance and it was given in writing by CS to the full glaring of everyone standing, as N2.23k

22. Network breakdown when it's your turn.

is the guy transiting Nigeria from the Carribean? what kind of name was that?

THREE-MAN SYNDICATE BUSTED THUMBPRINTING IN ROMNEY'S BEDROOM - CIA

ogugua88: Romney is terrible at campaigning. Obama is an excellent speaker and had an amazing grassroots campaign, although not as strong as 2008. Go back in time to Romney vs Santorum in Iowa. Santorum had no money. He literally campaigned in all of Iowa in a few short weeks on his own two feet. He did it the old-fashioned way and beat Romney, who super-over-outspent him. Rather than for Romney to cue in and do his own grassroots, he rallied on his fellow 1%ers and continually distanced himself from middle class America.

Mark my words, this is the last time you will see a republican nominee really on the white vote. Whites are no longer the minority. They have a short amount of time discuss new strategies for the future. They'll have to open up to the same people Romney avoided. Best of luck to them... not.

Results we need......not rhetorics.
More results.

Lanreclassic: [img]http://1.bp..com/-KKTD0MMKsVE/UJjS88fHuRI/AAAAAAAAB5M/Z9a3DIuqFbA/s400/Tolu+Odukoya+Wed+1.jpg[/img]

Tolu Odukoya and Olumide Ijogun, the lovely couple who met themselves during their secondary school days, where joined together as husband and wife on Saturday 3rd November 2012.Pastor Adeboye of RCCG was one of the important personalities who grace the occassion.
The wedding reception was later held at the Haven Events Centre in GRA Ikeja, Lagos. Wishing them a happy married life!

Mummy must be smiling somewhere in Heaven right now!!!....




SOURCE

Why drag Adeboye to the heading when he's merely a guest like many other. You think that'll get you the front page & long thread you strongly desired?!. You've just opened a new floor to these Pastor-abusing NL'ers.

Anyways, I wish them marital bliss.

50calibre: Because the duty of care, nurture and character building lies PRIMARILY with the mother.

it's simple biology, the same principle not only applies to humans, but to all other animals.

...PRIMARILY!!!

I can see you are not a parent yet.

Papa wey don comot since cockcrow dey look for money. Mama wey suppose dey house dey take care of pikin na so so tak tak she dey tak up & down. Now pikin don spoil who him go blame?!

Well, it's all transfer of aggression, and it's not limited to the house of the poor. Someone taking the blame is far better than both parents buckpassing...

seunfly: It is called ófáa ó ni robá, you can also call it kànàkànà in yoruba language.

It's takotako

dominique: Wth is THEWILL

It's a "gaddem" newspaper!
Americana!

pDude: Those two old, senile f00ls who are still trying to be relevant by quarter to the grave

Bruv please try again.

An African proverb says:
A young lad who says an aged man's mouth oozes, he has by extension insulted his lineage.
No more...no less!

Ocutegan: Why do we have a lot of stoopid people in this country sef, jus look at these ones callin the man of God names. So you expect every pastor to be nothing but a church rat..if you're not happy with his success, and which of your wretched family and friends has he scammed b4? jus go hang yourself abeg. Now some people will jus die and their folks will be shoutin “God why” not knowing they pleaded the wrath of God on themselves. Or do you think to live is your right jus because you see others living? Tell me what happened to the dead? God preserved you and now you cursing on his appointed minister. I even saw the sl.ut among these there laffin at her level of stupidity. Mi pity yuh life

Ignore them. Everywhere they appear, it's the same view, same comment. Just ignore them (never quote them...just "waka pass" like nothing happened).
You prayed and it worked for you. Believe what you believe.

semid4lyfe: Won't say I blame him as he's probably talking from experience.

Maybe he put his baby mamas on the pill and it didn't work.

By the way, it does have some side effects like drowsiness, nausea, headache, acne & pimples, tenderness in the breast, abdominal pain, delayed menses etc and long term use is a risk factor to cervical cancer.

So anyway, you wan look am 2face is right. A CD is better but abstinence is the best.

Withdrawal method "nko"?

Engineers! (Civil Engineers)
Everybody knows about that.

Umunede: Then, who are d most generous? I want to know

Why did you hang your ties all over the place posing?
You ride in cute car(s),
you live in a garnished apartment,
you mingle with overrated Gs,
you patronize classical malls, you order everything from pen to penthouse,
you go out with handle-with-care pretty girls to carve a niche for yourself,
you live daily on debts trying to show off to those who simply didn't care (maybe).
Now you're here complaining about a problem you created and compounded.
No sorry.

Why did you hang your ties all over the place posing?
You ride in cute car(s),
you live in a garnished apartment,
you mingle with overrated Gs,
you patronize classical malls, you order everything from pen to penthouse,
you go out with handle-with-care pretty girls to carve a niche for yourself,
you live daily on debts trying to show off to those who simply didn't care.
Now you're here complaining about a problem you created and compounded.
No sorry.

Khai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Asiri tu !

[quote author=Frank-C]Is it not really simple enough from the history of the actors? Ribadu has never been known to be a team builder or a team leader. I think he believes it affect efficiency. Check his records, Ribadu arrests suspects even before investigations finishes. His methods has been historically unorthodox and make no mistake about it, he achieves results. His method shields him from the inefficiency of the beauracracy.
For Orosanye, anybody that knows him will know that he is one of the most principled, process based and fearless civil servant this country ever had. Take a look at his days at the Head of Service. He built majority of the service structure in civil service today, so he had always been a process person and will naturally argue with Ribadu's methods.
Actually, if you look at the committee, you will notice that core professionals were drawn from different fields for this assignment. Ribadu himself is a core professional, very technical too. When you have an all technical committee like this, it is always better to drive it with a man/woman with strong leadership skills. Ribadu has never had that.
To my mind, there is no contradiction here, Orosanya was being true to type, so is Ribadu. But i believe that Ribadu could have managed this team better while achieving his desired result. First rule in leadership is never allow your team to be fragmented.
And to Mr President, we all have a lot to learn from his crisis management. He managed the situation well, while allowing all to save face. He is a thorough team leader.
Now, Ribadu's report has been accepted. Orasanya's inputs can still be accomodated. The collection of these form the report of the committee. This will further expand the discussion points that will lead to concesus. Most importantly, their harmonized findings must be taken seriously and as Mr President said, ALL indicted must be brought to book, but more importantly, the system MUST be made to be more fool proof.[/quote]We know better...
Nairaland may have been fluxed by infants but we know the facts when we read one.
Apology...this ain't one!
Oransaye has been 'bought' to frustrate the birth of a good report, he kept himself perpetually absent so as to hold a strong reason against Ribadu.

Prof Corruption: GEJ has managed to plant a mole in the committee. So much for this president who is completely corrupt. What the hell is Steve Oronsaye ranting about? What prevents him from writing a minority report?

Billyonaire: In every clime, there is always a room for conspiracy theorists. You are short of words but not short of lies. Congratulations for being a Prof of Corruption and lies!

Una dey quarrel before?

Which Nigerian has been kidpapped and where?
Find out from here!
It's a dangerous world we live in.

http://www.proshareng.com/news/18211

Surviving Kidnapping

Kidnapping is rampant in many parts of the world -- in fact it is a thriving business in many countries. The U.S. Government provides tips on what you should do when things go bad. The following is excerpted from DEPARTMENT OF STATE PUBLICATION 10217: Security Awareness Overseas, An Overview [Bureau of Diplomatic Security - United States Department of State Overseas Security Advisory Council].
Kidnapping is a terrifying experience, but you possess more personal resources than you may be aware of to cope with the situation. Remember, you are only of value to them alive, and they want to keep you that way.

The common hostage responses of fear, denial, and withdrawal are all experienced in varying degrees. You may be blindfolded, drugged, handled roughly, or even stuffed in the trunk of a car. If drugs are administered, do not resist. Their purpose will be to sedate you and make you more manageable; these same drugs may actually help you to get control of your emotions, which should be your immediate goal. If conscious, follow your captors’ nstructions.

Captivity

A hostage-taking situation is at its worst at the onset. The terrorists are nervous and unsure, easily irritated, often irrational. It is a psychologically traumatic moment for the hostage. Violence may be used even if the hostage remains passive, but resistance could result in death.

If taken hostage, your best defense is passive cooperation. You may be terrified, but try to regain your composure as soon as possible and to organize your thoughts. Being able to behave rationally increases your chances for survival. The more time that passes, the better your chances of being released alive.

Behavior Suggestions

Each captivity is different, but some behavior suggestions apply to most:
Try to establish some kind of rapport with your captors. Family is a universal subject. Avoid political dialogues, but listen attentively to their point of view. If you know their language, listen and observe; and if addressed, use it.
Plan on a lengthy stay, and determine to keep track of the passage of time. Captors may attempt to confuse your sense of time by taking your watch, keeping you in a windowless cell, or serving meals at odd hours. However, you can approximate time by noting, for example, changes in temperatures between night and day; the frequency and intensity of outside noises—traffic, whistles, birds; and by observing the alertness of guards.
Maintain your dignity and self-respect at all times.
Manage your time by setting up schedules for simple tasks, exercises, daydreaming, housekeeping.
Build relations with fellow captives and with the terrorists. If hostages are held apart, devise ways to communicate with one another. Where hostages are moved back and forth, to bathrooms for example, messages can be written and left. However, do not jeopardize your safety or the safety or treatment of others if attempting to communicate with fellow captives seems too risky.
Maintain your physical and mental health; it is critical to exercise body and mind. Eat food provided without complaint; keep up your strength. Request medical treatment or special medicines if required.
Establish exercise and relaxation programs. Exercise produces a healthy tiredness and gives you a sense of accomplishment. If space is confined, do isometrics. Relaxation reduces stress. Techniques include meditation, prayer, daydreaming. · Keep your mind active; read anything available. Write, even if you are not allowed to retain your writings. If materials are not available, mentally compose poetry or fiction, try to recall Scripture, design a house, even “play tennis” (as one hostage did).
Take note of the characteristics of your captors and surroundings: their habits, speech, contacts; exterior noises (typical of city or country); and other distinctive sounds. This information could prove very valuable later.

If selected for early release, consider it an opportunity to help remaining hostages. Details you have observed on the terrorists and the general situation can assist authorities with a rescue.

You can expect to be accused of working for the government’s intelligence service, to be interrogated extensively, and to lose weight. You may be put in isolation; your captives may try to disorient you. It is important that you mentally maintain control.

Avoidance of Capture or Escape

Efforts to avoid capture or to attempt escape have in most cases been futile. The decision, however, is a personal one, although it could affect fellow hostages by placing them in jeopardy. Several other considerations should be weighed.

To have any chance of success, you should be in excellent physical condition and mentally prepared to react before the terrorists have consolidated their position. This, also, is the riskiest psychological time. You would need to have a plan in mind, and possibly have been trained in special driving tactics or other survival skills.

If you are held in a country in which you would stand out because of race or other physical characteristics, if you know nothing of the language or your location, or if you are held in a country where anti-American or anti-Western attitudes prevail, you should consider the consequences of your escape before attempting it. If you conclude that an escape attempt is worthwhile, take terrorists by surprise and you may make it. If their organization has a poor track record of hostage safety, it may be worth the risk.

Rescue

The termination of any terrorist incident is extremely tense. If an assault force attempts a rescue, it is imperative that you remain calm and out of the way. Make no sudden moves or take any action by which you could be mistaken for a terrorist and risk being injured or killed.

Even in a voluntary release or surrender by the terrorists, tensions are charged and tempers volatile. Very precise instructions will be given to the hostages, either by the captors or the police. Follow instructions precisely. You may be asked to exit with hands in the air, and you may be searched by the rescue team. You may experience rough treatment until you are identified and the situation has stabilized.

Finally, it’s worth keeping in mind three facts about terrorism:
The overwhelming majority of victims have been abducted from their vehicles on the way to or from work.
A large number of people taken hostage ignored the most basic security precautions.
Terrorist tactics are not static. As precautions prove effective, they change their methods. There is a brief “window of vulnerability” while we learn to counter their new styles.

Additional Precautions

Do not settle into a routine. Vary times and routes to and from work or social engagements.

Remember, there is safety in numbers. Avoid going out alone. When traveling long distances by automobile, go in a convoy. Avoid back country roads and dangerous areas of the city.

A privately owned car generally offers the best security. Avoid luxury or ostentatious cars. Keep your automobile in good repair and the gas tank at least half full. Driving in the center lane of a multiple lane highway makes it difficult for the car to be forced off the road.

[Source: The United States State Department]
http://danger.mongabay.com/kidnapping.htm

Kidnapping is not a one-off thing like armed robbery. The kidnappers ALWAYS do contact their victims' families/relatives through phones or letters.
Above all, the ransom money demanded are not wired through banks into some ficticious account in Guantanamo Bay, but rather given by hand (on land and not under water).

Though we're all aware of varying degrees of grave threats these daredevils made to their victims' lives resulting in the panic that consequently gives way to the wilful paymant of ransom money, but money is heavy (million I mean), visible, traceable and retractable, and so are other contact media these criminals use. Why then are they so difficult to catch??

I say without mincing words, kidnappers who succeeded in taking ransom money unscathed had worked HAND-IN-GLOVES with the security agents because it is the dumbest crime ever...I repeat...dumbest crime ever.

It is a criminal act which supposedly thrives in a society that is maligned by corruption.
Lawyers, Bankers, Brokers, Trustees, Families, Associates, Aides and even Friends are all accomplices to the SELL-OUT.

Every other kind of crime may thrive in every countries of the world, but I bet you, kidnapping is not one of them (my view), compared with theft, burglary, scam, robbery, etc.

Why are these kidnappers difficult to catch?
Proffer solution now, someone you know might be in their den someday.

http://dollarvigilante.com/blog/2011/11/8/kidnapping-and-ransom-rampant-in-the-us.html

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]When someone creep outside the home...the likely of catching HIV/AIDS and STDs are higher. I wouldn't say it is suspicion but I would say that common sense would tell someone not to creep outside of their home without protection and common sense that revenge is a double edged sword.[/quote]"revenge is a double edged sword"
Hmmmm...!

[quote author=Mynd_44]Married couples should be able to respect the other parties views and opinion as it is not every time someone will be in the mood for sex. Sometimes, you won't just be in the mood cos you have other things on your mind but when this becomes regularly, they need to talk. And why should the guy get angry and walk out? He should have asked her what's wrong with her as she might be bothered about things he don't know about[/quote]As much as I try to agree with you, a wife may tend to frame up 'absential' as a fall out of an earlier argument, or a turned down request and the likes.
This kind of "turn-down" may be unhealthy to marriages in the long run don't you think?

STD? I think this is going a whole new dimension. Could that be a reason based just on suspicion?

carefreewannabe: In a good marriage, partners understand and respect each other. Whenever, the man or woman are not in the mood they should say it. If your partner respects you, he or she will accept it without leaving the house for the night. If, however, one of the partners refuses sex too often then you have issues to work on.

Well said.
A popular scripture says
"the full soul loathes the honeycomb, but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet"
What that means is that the ground absorbs no water when saturated. Where is trust that someone is not cheating?

The above-mentioned title may look funny but I tell you, it tears home apart like nothing else.
A man was told by his unhappy wife that she wasn't in the mood. The next thing that happened was that the man picked his car key and went out. He returned at 4am the next morning.
My questions now are:
Should the sentence be used in marriage?
If yes, when, how, and why (and maybe where)?
And should the asking be solely reserved for the Man/Woman?
And how should the statement be handled to save one's home?

SMH...........!

An elite turned down an invitation to an event. When asked why, he simply said: "that invitation card wasn't for me, I am Engr Dr (Chief) ABC not Mr ABC"
This was a true story.

A mad man, compared with an imbe/cile and another clown...

I think I'll pitch my tent with the clown.

The clown is clueless but yet harmless.

Can anyone stop his/her mouth from watering at the sight of a delicious meal? It's a chemical reaction that can only be reversed by relocating.
Most men are too weak to flee.

A friend's confession: "I've crossed over 20 women s.exually but I met only 3 as virgins"

My question is...................

Khai! I'm confused.