₦airaland Forum

U moved in together too? Hmmm . . .

Hmmm . . . Lets reason together. Tell me what U feel would prompt me to say U encouraged her to do what she's done and I'd let u know whether or not U are on track and understand me. That way it'l be like U discovered for Urself and U would find Urself feeling more informed on the decisions U need to take to make things better or have a good exit.

The wife sef dey find her own trouble but I noticed that even those of us that think Ur phone is Ur business also know that we'd care what happens on it at some point when we see we really think the person matters in our lives.

Ur wife doenst trust U like she wants to and that myt be cos she doesn't think U should trust her if she were doing what it is U r doing or cos Ur just not giving her enough reason to rest secured in the knowledge that U can be trusted.

What's Ur own sef with hanging onto the past? Is the devil marketing "Insurance" to U gains a failed relationship with Ur wife or are U just being naieve?

See the thing about forgiving someone and trusting them to not do what ill they had done again in the future is that U need to do it wisely. Ask and U shall be given, seek and U shall find, Knock and the door shall be open unto U. All action words.

Don not cast Ur pearls before the swine, In other words what u treasure do not give to those that will not value it in a way U would be comfortable with.

When U decide to forgive someone, ensure it's not just to make them feel better cos they will return to that wrong again. Make sure they are truly repentant and not just sorry they got caught. It takes a lot of maturity to handle this cos Ur emotions would probably be playing loud noises in Ur head.

The girl cheated and from all indications U've given it wasn't a spur of the moment thing. They were calculated, albeit weakly.

If I were in Ur position I'll get the soldier of my mind to put my heart under house arrest and then take over the reigns of power and then be sensible enuf to make her know I'm with her cos I chose to be with her and she's my girl cos we could agree. If U can't "agree' with someone, chaos na im una go dey see.

I hope U know U "encouraged" her into this sha cos U did.

Meanwhile, all these people taking of past burying the past let me inform U that the past is like a fertile ground nurtured in the present. Weeds are the seeds to evil we sow and wheat is the seed to good. Weeds don;t need to be nurtured, as long as nature provides them the right environment they will spring and multiply. Wheat however need to be nurtured and catered for to fruit.

The fields U leave to fallow will be fruitful tomorrow. If U don't want weeds springing U have to root them up and make sure U don't leave a trace of them behind; having done that, U will need to continue to make the field uncomfortable for them to resurface and at the same time conducieve for the wheat to grow well and fruit.

What I'm saying is it's best to thoroughly deal with issues in the past otherwise U should expect them to show up late in the future. Things don't just go away they have to be told to go away and shown that they are unwelcome otherwise they will keep coming back and one day they will meet U when U are weakest and they will do damage to the important things to U leaving U in a worse state than U can imagine,  bla bla bla.

Tricky Tricky. . .

Mehn with the number of girls around that tell a guy they would cheat on their husbands with him if they ever married some other guy, this is one very tricky situation. Ha!

See when a guy says such a thing he could be playing and trying to fit into the moment as he feels would be appropriate no matter how inappropriate such a "declaration" would be; but when a girl says such a thing, 8 out of 10 times she means it and all the guy would have to do when the time comes is to press just a little and flood her heart with strong emotions that would bring back the memories of the past.

Me I don't know o. . . This is a tricky one, really; the good thing is if she can decide on her own without being pressured into it, then her resolution could effectively counter her declarations to that man. Na God fit help the both of una here.

Busy_body:
Ouch that was cold, cold, cold, chillingly and icily at that too, ouch

Onchedu is right, grammatically and otherwise, he was addressing the thread title and OP's post generally, not the poster, Mrs S, who could be an unmarried poster, as far as he was concerned


Come oh you two, Mr & Mrs S, wey the lil Siena-let, wetin na, you pipu should commot thread go dey do am joo, i wan come chop rice joo, get to work jare, on your knees too if it will help

Thanks for understanding what my intentions were in my response.

Oh so U've been following my posts? No wonder. U finally got the guts to say something, sadly U chose the wrong comment to come out with the bile on.

U should have been a lil patient and waited for me to say something inconsistent that isn't intended as a joke then U wouldn't sound so obviously embittered.

U don't have to agree with things I say. U could just skip them U know; then again the truth is hard to ignore isn't it?

Smart boys know how best to handle silly girls. She could end up making a stupid habit of her common practice and Ur mind has told U that.

No carry last.

So what's new? It's normal occurence for the majority of girls that ever walk the face of the earth to let good men slip thru their fingers. Why do U think majority of boys end up becoming men that think little of women?

Submit Ur story to M&B and they just myt make a good novel out of it for girls to read and fantasise about and follow and the circle can continue.

I understand that not everyone is good in English Comprehension.

Mr. Cold, get someone to expasiate on my post for U and if possible, translate it into ur native tongue then maybe Ur antagonistic mind would more easily assimilate and understand what I said and why I said it clearer.

Abi na U be the husband?

Left, lefter, lefetest. Abi Leave, Leaver, Leavest.

Pick Ur choose.

drnonye:
she doesnt know when 2 stop even wen I tell her 2 stop. 

mayb  she really enjoys  flirting  and might just cause me more harm than good.

so do i just work out now b4 i  get 2 involved and save me the stress cos I have no time 4 dis crab

I see red flags. Blood red flags.

Why don't U just marry a man of noble character and be a woman of virtue so U wouldnt have to preoccupy Urself with worry issues like personal assistants?

If he's not a person of character U should just pray for him and not put ideas into his head like choosing a PA for him.

Sounds to me Lashontae, like U had Ur eye on J and didnt realize it till his gf made U aware that U did. So U r a bad girl gone good and now U feel the best way to get even is to go worse? How girls dey think they baffle me. Wetin sef ehn?

So ur roomie is a loud mouthed good for nothing sex addict deceiving some dude that treats her good and consoling herself in self deception that knowing someone else' dirty past makes her a good girl ehn?

Anyway, what U have to do do it quick knowing that who knows what is right to do and fails to do it to him/her it is sin.

Hope say U no be naija babe cos Ur own stupidity resemble oyinbo girl own pass.

I dey trip for some guys o. BlackBerry while still declaring manifesto. that's how some other dude bought a girl a Toyota Camry 2009 to say goodbye.

Una well done.

Cheating comes from the inside. Not the outside. It's irresponsible people that blame others for what they decide to do. No matter how spontaneous the act is, there is always a time to decide on whether to follow through or quit.

Beautiful or ugly, the man that has will cheat will cheat.

Rich or poor, tall or short, sensitive or insensitive, big rod or small winkie, a woman tat will cheat will cheat.

don't say things like that Pweety. U never know who is listening or what they would make of it or of U.

Depends on what?

They say girls end up relating their husbands in the ways they did their dad and guys their wives how they did their mums. In many ways this is true. This persons case myt be different sha. Who knows?

Mehn see novel now.

I think we all have the internal warning device in our heads that tell us the truths in relationships we would rather hope dearly were not truths.

Irapada and MrBrownJay, I'm totally amused at your points of view on the workings of the institution called marriage. U have in your comments shown Urselves ignorant to a certain degree on what marriage is.

From what U have said, do I take it that should the girl be whole and able to take in and she looses that child, ending up with complications that render her unable to bear children again U would say U have found grounds for divorce and/or re-marriage?

Do i also assume that should U, being potent and able to impregnate a girl, have an accident after U've married her and it leaves U impotent/sterile, then she can leave U or worse still bring men home to service her and still be called your wife?

Make una dey try think before una talk. Marriage was set up by God and to get the best out of it we need to follow his rules.

However if U both are willing to take the heat off of her when retribution comes in a covenant against what she has with God so her bf can have his way it won't be bad if U did. After all U feel strongly that she is wrong and he is right and a covenant with God means nothing in the civilized world.

If n be devil dey find how him go take do U strong thing after U don marry (if at all U marry her last last) why U no go just leave her and her God in the name of the love U claim to have for her? If U impregnate the girl she born U come get accident die nko. Make she no get husband easily again?

jayflex:
@onchedu

I no go lie i always feel very sorry for men when i see them outside with their girls and their girls are eyeing other men. Its one thing i have never been able  to stomach and i'm sure no other guy can take that nonsense

That's probably one of the worst ways a girl can let her guy down. It's usually one of the reasons some guys don't want to be seen in public with their girls; so they don't end up catching them in such a disappointing act.

Some other guys remedy it by never taking their women too seriously that way, such a let down won't be so hard to stomach.

Anyway, life goes on.

shadrach77:
recently i met a lady on facebook and we began to develop a friendship, then i asked her her age and she said 39 - so i asked her why she hasn't been married and she claimed she was dating a man in 9ja and they got married and the man went to America and she waited for 9 years for the man to come back and take her but the man never came back and eventually she learnt that the man has gotten married in the US. She said they had been warning her since year five that gthe man was married in the US and she did not listen and waited another four years for him - the whole thing sounded like a cock and bull story to me - can a woman wait for 9 years for a man when they have no kids together? - how long would a woman wait for her love? 

Yes there are women and some men that would wait that long; some even longer. The rational behind it is lacking and the reasons why they do myt be illogical, however some do.

In this woman's case she was married to him so it can be understood, especially if he was in regular touch with her and she was with him. The question now is why on earth didnt she just go to the US to be with him?

Now going thru this waiting. Was she really waiting or is this one of thse pseudo waiting gimmicks where she's actually getting her "groove" on and doing a good job at not getting found out that becomes waiting when some other fella(s) get her heart broken?

There is this guy i met on my way coming back from work and he approach me and tell me that he want me to be her girl and two weeks after i see it in him that he is very serious about it and i make up my mind to give him a trial and after ten month of datting each other i found myself in love with him, now our relationship is a year plus.
one day he called me on phone to come to his office and i quickly ran down to his office and he sat me down and told me that this boy friend ande girl friend relationship of ours is getting too long that he want to settle down with me and he want me to get pregnant before our marriage.
Now am totaly confuse cos he knows that am a vergin and have made a convenant between me and God that before a man can sleep with me it must be after we left the alter, Now i dont know what to do maybe i should go on and do what he want or i should stick with my convenant until the right man comes on my way and he said without sleeping with me he will not take me to the alter and i love this guy so much, what should i do ? is he real or he want to diceive me ? plz i need you people advice or opinion ?


Are u seriously asking us to counsel u on whether or not it is better for U to break a covenant u made with the supreme deity to please a fellow mortal who myt in the long run prove to be lacking in character and a dishonorable person?

The guy myt just want sex. Wat if he's one of those immature guys that guage a woman's possibilities of performance in marriage based on what they get outside marriage? What if he really just didnt know how to get sex from U and is trying his final call card?

If he truly loves U he will respect ur covenant with God.