₦airaland Forum

If you get a metal bucket, put 6 holes in the bottom with nails and a hammer, either get some white grout (the type used to lay tiles) or take it to a contruction site when they are mixing cement or get some cement (one cupful is enough). Smear it all over your cleaned metal bucket and place pebbles or stones or gravel in the cement or grout. When it dries you have a lovely stone planter, cheaply made. I've done this before so I know it works. You can even use concrete mix (cement, gravel and water) to make it look like a stone planter. Because stone planters are a bit pricey (N5000 upwards for one).

There's a store that sells quite a bit of crafting yarn and crochet needles, it's in Ikeja but I don't have the address. Go on Instagram and check @Crafties4all. I believe they also have a website but check their Instagram page. I met them somewhere at a fair and see their stuff but I don't have any info on them as per contact, just instagram. HTH

bigx:
Thanks!
Reading a lot about the Peace Lily. I believe we had them growing up but not too sure. Would search for it today. Thanks a lot!

No problema. Try and look at the location of your plant: if it's somewhere where kids can eat it, get a palm or an aloe vera. If children don't run around your office a lot, any other plant works as well. Also you can paint your planter to match your office decor.

Minnie Root/ Ruellia Tuberosa

Seriously I should get paid for this! Not one single gardener knew this for ages and Aunt Nimi-Of-Awesome-Garden got it right.

This is a very common ornamental plant. I've only seen it in shrub form (and getting peed beside a lot #FilthyLagosians ). A Ruellia Tuberosa is also called a Cracker plant (don't day that amongst White folks please!) Or a Minnie Root. Most versions of this plant are poisonous (some are said to be abortifants) but they've also been used extensively in Ayurveda (Indian medicine).

They like full sun but light shade, so definitely an outdoor plant. Those lovely purple flowers will add sparkle to your garden!

I'm getting worried. All this issues with babies vomiting, are you sure it's not the water used to wash their things or make their food? There must be a trigger. it kind of seems seasonal.

November/December, so many mothers here were complaining about colds and catarrhs, some had no problems even though some of us were sleeping with air conditioners and fans nightly. I noticed that most of the mum's with no problems were avoiding certain respiratory triggers. Same thing with the rashes. Same thing again happening. As a child and an adult, me throwing up everything and putting my fist in my mouth to throw up meant I had food poisoning and vomiting was actually a relief (body trying to expel the bad virus or bacteria).

Why not start asking "what are the triggers around this?" What is the one thing they all have in common where they are? Could it be the way you are preparing their food or washing their stuff? Even I am beginning to cook smaller quantities for the baby and throw away the rest if it has stayed too long in the freezer.

So who would like to do a meetup? let's start developing our hobbies and ideas and have something to do.

bigx:
I've been looking for this.
I need indoor plants for my office lounge.

Please do you have an idea what they would cost and where I can get them in Port Harcourt

Hi, I have no idea about the Port Harcourt market, sorry. But why not download the pictures I posted and ask your local gardeners for some? Most of the popular air-purifying plants are very common here in Lagos so I'm assuming they will be readily available down there. Then if you cannot find it, we can help send some to you (container and plant). HTH.

Emary:
Love the idea! Will try it out this weekend.

http://inhabitat.com/diy-how-to-make-your-own-green-terrarium-to-keep-or-give-away-for-the-holidays/

More very detailed steps for building it. Please post pictures when you're done.

jaymichael:
Interest in the thread has waned. I don't know if it's worth it, posting more updates.

There's still interest o...

I've got a long list of ideas for you to try. Was going to post it here but someone may steal the ideas. Will email it.

joychioma19:
she knows how to cause depression for someone. told dad about the text.. am not with them na, so dad will always go with her wordings.i won't even try to call her as am stressed from pregnancy already.

My mum is a lot like yours. But she had her checks and balanced because none of her kids are calm and quiet. Just now, she came to heckle me about something for my baby and I gave it back at her. That's why I told you to forward the text to her husband (your dad, at least he can see her words). She wants you to listen to her every word and be in charge of you and only take decisions she approves. Listen to her advice but be clear that you will only take it IF you feel it will work for you, not because she said it. This is not about "honouring your parents blah blah", some people are bossy or overprotective to a fault. Be a hippo, let her words flow off your back like water, don't get depressed.

Blank her. It will work. Even if it takes up until the baby is born, blank her (no calls, nothing). All the conversations and gentle pleadings in the world will not work and if you don't stop it now, it will just get worse. She has 6 other kids, let her to and micro-manage them. If you were me, I'd have "accidentally" forwarded her text to Dad and maybe some aunts, to shame her a bit into being careful never to send anything without considering how her words will land.

Arsenate:
Mehn, nairaland women are easily the biggest hypocrites there could ever be. Whenever a lady comes around and mention one or two flaws of her partner, they will quickly advise her to dump him and move on. But if a guy does the same, they will advise him to try and work it out. Yeah, he should do it love. Love conquers all, bla bla; their usual emotional manipulation lines.
Truly, I'm learning how utterly selfish women can be. The rules and situations have to favor them, ALWAYS

Ogbeni,

If you show up here to tell us about this 35 year old lady who has nothing to show for her time, is a convicted felon and has issues with several countries, has no viable source of income but is pressuring you to take her home and wife her...

...we won't need to tell you to run, you'd only be mentioning the story as a cautionary tale which you've already run from.

Most people are advising caution and telling the OP not to get pregnant because the situation doesn't look good. Would you impregnate said gf if the sides were reversed?

Everyone has a past, it's upto you to decide what you can live with and see If the other person is remorseful of that past. If the OP was 100% sure in her mind of this guy, she wouldn't be asking us. To all the people talking about "some neighbour who was down on his luck and married a woman and now they're balling", please answer: was that person a convicted felon?

Who's gonna pay for the wedding, where are they going to live, how will they eat, how will they pay for antenatal and diapers and babyfood. Especially now that prices are rising steadily daily of every necessity.

Would you happily hand your sister or daughter to the OP's boyfriend?

Terrarium part 2

I got some glass jars from Iponri market (they had a lot of options there). But you can use even old mayonnaise jars, wine (port) glasses, glass tumblers, so you've got a lot of options in your budget.

You can landscape your terrarium by painting some of your kids toys and putting it inside.

Terrarium

So let's say you have absolutely no space for a potted plant or you want some greenery in your office or anywhere or you want to teach your kids something about Science (greenhouse gases etc). Then look no further than a Terrarium!

A terrarium is a group of plants and moss, all together in a closed or open glass container. It acts like a greenhouse in that is a small regulated world.

It works wonderfully for humidity-loving plants (which we have several of free and available because we live in a humid environment. Ferns, moss, cactus, succulents, baby tears, snake plant, aloe vera, earth star plant, bromeliads, small and slow-growing plants thrive in them.

Start building one by first getting plants that grow small and slow. Go to a gardener and ask him for plants which fit that description and don't need a lot of light. Get a glass jar, decide if you want covered or uncovered (you can use any type of glass jar). Get some pebbles (raid a construction site!), wash them. The pebbles are for drainage so your plants' tips don't sit in water and rot (also for display purposes, clean white pebbles look nice). You then put a later of that green small mesh from window construction over the pebbles and spread some ground charcoal over it (to deodorise everything).A later of potting soil and add your plants.

Now, a closed Terrarium requires very little maintenance or water (humidity is high). An open terrarium requires misting from time to time.

witorwitoutyou:
Evryone is just makin reference at d present issue,Lets assume d Op leaves him like what majority has advised here,and go for some1 else more financially bouyant now,is dere anyguaranty dt tins will b rosy forever?
My own candid advice for d op,from ur write up,he has made some silly mistakes in d past and he's ready to adjust to reality but d hustle is nt yet yeilding result.In as much as he's making effort,u can support him with ur prayers and advise on what to do,dis is d best time he needs u most. who knws tmorow,tins might turn out positive .I knw of a couple who started deir life's living in(face me I slap u) tenant,d husband was not working and d couple depended on d wife's salary,wc was just a meagre 10K per month as a teacher.but fast forward till dis day,d husband can go to any country he likes,he has 3cars,and oda landed properties.Oto ni iwe,oto lowo. No b by cert person dey use dey rich.
Don't luk at d present situation,Instead luk at his zeal and effort he's pullin togeda to make it in life,support him more with love and prayers,Nobody knws tmorow.In as much as u guys re fine with each oda,stay put.Dont leave him for one uncertainty

Did your neighbour to do jail for drug-related offences? Twice??

For me personally, I cannot abide a drug dealer. I've seen how drugs damage people and a person selling it is supplying a bad demand.

MRBrownJ:
@Onegai
funny story, but allow me:
#1 if a man complains bitterly about girls chopping their money then, unfortunately, you need to place the entire blame of your fellow criminal sistas who are defrauding good men all over the land, which makes these men ever more tight fisted.
if you had ACTED RIGHT, and gave him time, he would have seen that you were a good woman. sadly you were in a hurry for gifts and handouts, i guess.

#2 if a man seek for sexual favors and you refuse to give, then how are you any different than the person who refuse to give you gifts?!

#3 if such man breaks up with you then OBVIOUSLY he didnt like or care for you

#4 it is YOUR duty to show a man that you are a woman WORTHY enough to deserve anything. a man who spends for no reason whatsoever will equally dump you for no reason whatsoever.... because you have no idea what his aim is.

#5 so he went on to meet "gehs" who he was spending money on?! damn, something was REALY foul about you then?! maybe it was your narrow minded tribalistic views about Yorubas.

but the IMPORTANT question is: if he was a Yoruba demon (as you claim), then why were you gladly dating the "demon"?!

Sigh. Are you the new misogynist on the Family Section block? seriously, you realise that it is not a paid job, bah?

Lots of stunningly bad assumptions on your part. "Yoruba Demon" is a funny meme about Yoruba guys. If i am tribalistic about the tribe, then I'm hating quite a lot of my family. You don't know much about Society, do you? Dude likes the type of girls who are wonderful about flaunting for the 'gram. Those type of girls don't date poor guys, infact they are precisely the type of girls your ilk to insult behind their backs but beg for numbers to their faces your assumption that i treated him wrongly and i am "unworthy" doesn't explain why he tried to come back (or in your rush to pass a cheap insult, you ignored Logic?) I could go on, but eh, don't let me shatter your bad fantasies about me (your comments here might be the highlight of your day, why should I take your little joy from you )

Wow...

The same person commenting on his thread with 4 different monikers

Give it about 6 more months, then decide what you want. No talk of marriage till then. He has made so many poor choices and my fear is that he may make more poor choices out of desperation and get-rich quick mentality. Is he remorseful over his past, does he acknowledge that he started out wrong? Because if he feels that the only mistake he made was that he did not hammer over his illegal deals, well then you have to live with that and ask yourself if your conscience is good with that (several womem marry drugdealers and all our polithiefcians are married).
He has to get his own place, you have to stabilise yourself. For pete's sake, keep your ovaries away from him to avoid stories that touch (you're an adult so if you wanna open your legs, your choice. But open your legs and keep your ovaries far away, okay? Gerrit?) #BirthControl

tearoses:
Sis you never jam some religious parents awon Deacon ati deaconess mother in Israel parents
They will rather die than have a pregnant daughter live under their roof
Especially if they have been warning the kid before then about her activities with the opposite sex
The boy sounds like a mummys boy too if not he would have gone to hustle

Someone I know left parents comfort to go and hustle in another city so he could make a home for himself and his wife and he was living in an almost completed building with no curtain even though his parents had houses in Lagos.
That is what is called a man.
No one can boss him or his wife around.

My former neighbour kicked her daughter out of the house, and hers was a sad story about how she ended up pregnant. Boy went home to the East to inform parents that he was bringing home pregnant fiancee. His parents objected becausd they didn't like her tribe and her church. He died on his way back on Benin-Ore road. Her parents were pastors in their church. They said they couldn't be preaching morality and allowing immorality under their roof. His parents said they were grieving for their son and couldn't house her (since they had never met her, how can they confirm the baby is actually his, Lagos girls and wayo blah blah blah etc). So she was a homeless single mum for a bit, even squatted with my relative at some point.
She's married now and the baby she had is now the darling of all grandparents

I have dated an oil company boy who did the exact same thing: never once opened his pockets to buy even a Valentine's day gift. He too complained bitterly about girls chopping, he too stressed me for sex (which I kept refusing). He too accepted many thoughtful expensive gifts without even sending a recharge card (he once told me to keep the N100 change from buying a drink ). This was a fellow who i organised gifts to be deliveres to his office on valentine's day and he took them happily then told me he had been too busy with work to get even a card (even his office friend was ashamed to meet my eyes). He broke up with me. When I told my male friends, married o, single o, they said the same thing: a man who cares for a woman likes to be seen as a provider, no matter how little. They were so annoyed because they rightly guessed he wasn't serious about me but happily took all gifts (I was still doing foreign-babe mentality according to them). Men, older than him and married, advised me to never date any guy who refused to spend on you because it is a Nigerian thing to provide for your woman. So, are they not men?

Happy ending: the idiot went to chase "gehs" who wanted to chop him well until he lost his oil and gas job. Then 1 month later, he came back begging. And I had happily moved on. He still sends me a message yearly wanting to keep in touch. I ensure I always ask him "remind me who you are again please?"

He was a Yoruba Demon as well

HaneefahRN:
And the ITK relatives too, like one that was telling us not to administer diclofenac for her mum that it makes her sleep and that she prefers diazepam. Stuffs like that.

But why exactly is that a bad thing? The patient may not have felt comfortable taking some drug (btw i hate diclofenac) and expressed it to her daughter, who shared with you. Perhaps you could have asked her to speak to the doctor concerning her drugs. I've been prescribed Lexotan by my gynae in pregnancy and I informed her I wouldn't take it because the risks for me outweighed the benefits and she later agreed. I had a treatment and the nurse kept injecting me on one particular side till it bled and I had problems moving. Another nurse lost it when she saw it, shouting "but they taught us in school", conferred with doctor and changed my injection site.
I used to faithfully swallow every medicine handed to me until stuff happened and my relatives (consultant doctors) told me to question and research everything done to me and always ask for a 2nd opinion.

Farmpride, how much is needed to start a nagging and shipping business of strawberries? Thanks

Lerin:
Good morning beautiful mamas,Hw are our angels doing. Pls mothers what brand of multivite is very effective to use for my DD,since I stopped ebf @ 6months she has refused all am introducing,she can give the food in her mouth and block her throat most times I had to pinch or beat her so that when she cries the throat will open,her not eating has really affected her weight(7.6kg) at 9 month,though she is very active but am worried cos of her feather weight. People call her portable.

Please stop beating or pinching her, she may choke as the food may go down the wrong way. I too have a baby that the more she was forced, her screams got worse. So I stopped forcing her, some kids are snackers: they eat in bits. So keep good constantly in their mouths all through the day.

As for food, babies have taste buds (if you don't like eating certain goods you've never tried, why expect them to?) and they also get bored. Baby E doesn't like blueberries and she discovered this the first day she ever tasted bluberry yorghurt in her life. That's how humans are. So don't expect that baby will look at amala and ogbono soup with glee or even like Cerelac (my kid gets bored of cerelac quickly but will motivated to use her walker to locate me if I'm eating a fruit or bread and eggs) A few pages back, I posted some menu options (including fruits) and lots of people have posted theirs too. Please use the Search function and find them and exhaust all of them first before throwing in the towel.

I've been assured by doctors that multivitamins don't make people hungry, it supplies vitamins they're not getting. So don't expect baby's appetite to miraculously improve after taking one, still do your part.

Tell us about the production: is it coldpressed or hot pressed, mature or unripe coconuts used in production. State your prices.

Sell your product

rchilee:
Good evening mamas please where can I get fenugreek supplement from in ph cos am not lactating well

I think you should check Medplus and Healthplus because they usually have it. Or go to the Natural Hair care sites (Google African Naturalists, she sells Fenugreek powder and should be able to ship to PH)

rchilee:
Good evening mamas please where can I get fenugreek supplement from in ph cos am not lactating well

I think you should check Medplus and Healthplus because they usually have it. Or go to the Natural Hair care sites (Google African Naturalista, she sells Fenugreek powder and should be able to ship to PH)

OP, ifyalwys is right, pick up a skill. But don't just go into baking, small chops, makeup and sewing. Those fields are crowded and you may not stand out effectively. Specialise! Go and learn gele tying very well. Every Friday and Saturday, look around for an open field, there's bound to be a wedding or function going on. Beg for a plastic chair and carry a cardboard which says "Pro Gele tye", charge N500 to N1000 depending on your skill, speed and location (don't get greedy if you're not good enough for N1000 take N500 it's still something). You can make upto N30,000 in a day.

So...

Don't get her a sewing machine right now.

Get her a sketchbook and colour pencils or feltpens. Ask her to draw her designs in it. Ask a very good tailor (one who knows how to see well) to please teach her how to cut fabrics (that is very important). Then get her a fashion illustration book (there's an set store called AB Artworld in Ojuelegba,well -stocked, though I haven't been there in ages). If shes still interested in it as she grows older, in her teens find a fashion designer (not your local ones o, people who are professionals. They are found in Lagos) and let her intern with one. They will teach her how to cut different types of fabrics, garment construction, actualizing your concepts and so much more. Depending on how good she is, se can study Textile Design at Yabatech and get herself a scholarship to study abroad (preferably in Europe or Asia)

If she's interested, this is the best way to ensure she doesn't end up as just "a tailor". If she's not, all you've spent money on is her sketchbook, feltpens and the fashion illustration book. Still cheaper than buying a sewing machine.

Fashion illustration, Textile designer, fashion designer, stylist, curator...those are a few of her career options. Just don't force it, okay

So...

Don't get her a sewing machine right now.

Get her a sketchbook and colour pencils or feltpens. Ask her to draw her designs in it. Ask a very good tailor (one who knows how to see well) to please teach her how to cut fabrics (that is very important). Then get her a fashion illustration book (there's an set store called AB Artworld in Ojuelegba,well -stocked, though I haven't been there in ages). If shes still interested in it as she grows older, in her teens find a fashion designer (not your local ones o, people who are professionals. They are found in Lagos) and let her intern with one. They will teach her how to cut different types of fabrics, garment construction, actualizing your concepts and so much more.

If she's interested, this is the best way to ensure she doesn't end up as just "a tailor". If she's not, all you've spent money on is her sketchbook, feltpens and the fashion illustration book. Still cheaper than buying a sewing machine.

Litmus:
lOL , Cabin Biscuits; almost forgot those things exists. Beautiful. May Nigeria never loose her wonderful culture.


As an aside, here's a peculiar thing; these Bride Prices Culture are used by those that can never see anything good in African culture as yardsticks to beat us into submitting to Western Values. "Commodifying women", they would say; "women as slaves to be bought", they would add. The tragedy is, that they are blind to the fact that this Nigerian Bride-price culture places values on women in a way uncommon among nearly all other cultures of the wold. In India for instance, a woman's family pays groom price. This places more value on men and consequently, in India, female children are viewed as cuss. Many put their daughters to death. Feeding the infant girl raw rice is one favored method.

Nigeria has a lot to be proud of, unfortunately there is an industry out there selling us self-hate with a vengeance.

But was it always this high in the past? Because it seems like only wealthy, older men would have been able to marry in the past when paying such hefty bride prices.I dunno, it seems more like a recent thing: the categories they pay to are the same from the past but the amounts are way higher.

ORI1:
Nice write up maam. But why do you discourage reading self-help books?
Wish I had seen this thread earlier.

I read some when I was going because someone challenged me to. Reality is that, I feel they don't teach you much. They can motivate you but not share much with you. "Rich Dad, Poor Dad", I learned most of it fr my father. Same with a few more. I feel what people need is tailored advise. What works for you and your situation won't work for me. HTH

ponkitibobo:
Thanks. Just my thought too. Or how else, ur ex of 20yrs get connected back childless. And the only encounter wit her produced a baby. This is mystery common sense cannot explain. Some things are bound to be.
May she is d most appropriate woman my friend suppose to marry. Who knows.
People should look beyond d surface. Things happen for reason beyond what we can see .

Of course Baby Mama Ex is the appropriate wife and woman for your friend, the other woman who has been married to him and has cared for him in the 20 years Ex was gone is useless. You guys should throw her out for Sweet Cynthia.

(Ladies, never delete your exes. So many husbands need to start learning to forgive and realise that they and their sacrifices meant nothing after 20 years )