₦airaland Forum

DrAda:
Too sugary? That's strange. Didn't know this.

I just checked, Sucrose is no.4 on its ingredient list. Well, let Mothers look at the ingredient list of follow-up milk so they can decide which is best.

Oduastates No.5 on your list was already implemented by Lagos state government, LAGBUS. They did not maintain them so the traffic reduction that happened immediately after that launched want back up. We lack maintainence culture. Lagos state has refused to make water transportation work and has never bothered to try and even educate the Danfo drivers (that can organise driver education for NURTW people) so a congestion charge will punish the masses.

People will come and insult the author of the article. She did not say one single lie in there, she didn't even have to exaggerate. Why are we still deceiving ourselves? Like Chxta said on Twitter, the National animal of the U.S. is an eagle, the National animal of Nigeria should be an ostrich. Because we like burying our heads in the sand to deceive ourselves.

Why is everyone suddenly blaming NDA for fuel.scarcity and no light? We've been suffering these things long before they bombed last week.

When are we going to start holding state government's and governors responsible? I'm from the SS and all of my state's past governors have not achieved anything meaningful but are quick to whip up sentiment towards the Federal Govt. And gullible people follow. The oil companies have paid out billions for oil spills and everyone in power from governor to local chiefs have shared the money without even building a health centre in their village yet they will ginger youths to die for them. Sheer stvpidity.

zaynie:
Thanks @ Onegai, that up there was much needed by me.
I'm about shopping for my daughter's hair products.
But the detangler, its good

There's honestly no such thing as detangler, it's a marketing name for leave-in conditioner. My last experience with Kids Organics (which btw is very inorganic) was years ago. I thought it was okay. The new lines like Carol's Daughter, Shea Moisture and co are better but pricier. Shanyi Organics is organic and affordable (im currently using it now), Natural Nigerian is pricier but organic as well. It's upto you to decide because there are now a lot of products for natural hair and kids' natural hair (which is good). Google, there's almost too much info about what is good.

Aim07:
Many thanks to u for prompt response, pls is texturizer the same as detangler? If no, will i get it in any supermarket?

(Lord knows why I'm doing this)

Relaxers and Texturisers are chemicals based on Sodium Hydroxide and Calcium Hydroxide. They are corrosive chemicals and cause a lot of burns on the scalp when applied wrongly. The difference between the 2 is that Texturisers are meant to be left on the hair for a shorter period. A texturiser is a lighter form of a relaxer. If you wanna put that harsh chemical on a child (when it is burning the scalps of millions of women around the world), that is your choice. But for the rest of us who would like to learn how to appreciate and manage our God-given natural hair texture, please continue reading.

African hair is very tightly coiled and thick and sebum doesn't travel up the strands as easily as Caucasian or Asian hair. That makes it prone to dryness and tangles. There is no such thing as stubborn hair, if your hair is hard to comb, it is because it is dry and kinky. There is a growing movement of women who are embracing theur natural hair and managing it well and it is growing to unbelievable lengths (the front of my hair is below my lips almost at chin-level natural. It's long). So the same tips that apply for them apply for anyone with natural hair (children and babies too).

Don't wash the hair frequently. Our hair ia already dry and most shampoos containing Sodium Laureth Sulphate (almost every shampoo on the market) dries it out further. If Baby E doesn't go swimming or rubs food in her hair, we wash once a week. She's not getting very dirty. Don't scrub at the scalp, add a little quantity of shampoo on hair, told baby's head back and wash once, rinse in that same direction to avoid the water entering her eyes.

Apply a conditioner, I use a leave-in conditioner. Conditioners' job is to soften and moisturize hair, and that makes it easier to handle. Adult conditioners tend to be heavy on younger hair because the strands are fine. There are children's lines like Kids Organics but even better there are organic lines like Cantu kids or Shea Moisture and even made in Nigeria ones like Shanyi organics (Hibiscus-based conditioner) or Natural Nigerian leave-in conditioner (Orange-based). Apply conditioner when hair is wet.

Apply either an oil or a butter: jojoba, coconut, almond or olive oils or Shea or cocoa butter work fine. This seals in the moisture and gives hair some slipperiness and allows combs to pass through the kinks.

You can wash once a week but add water and condition 2-3 times a week without washing. That is why you don't use an adult conditioner or use an organic conditioner, so that product build-up will be less and children don't itch at their scalps.

Use a big comb. Small combs snag in tangles and break the hair so use a big detangling comb first then neaten the hair with a small comb. Gently start at the tips of the hair and work upwards to the roots. Comb hair only when you have conditioned it and it is still wet.

Stop using rubber bands and tight accesories to style hair because I've seen babies whose hair has fallen out due to pulling tightly. Stop doing braid attachment (after the child has screamed her eyes out due to the tension from the braider she will now have to live with the heavy stuff on her delicate strands which will break). Baby E has patchy hair right now and some parts are long enough to plaid but I refuse to, I only add a hairband when she's going out. Don't comb hair often, infact just leave the hair alone. African hair is very fragile. If we are not going out, we don't comb out hair.

It is normal for babies upto 1 year to have patchy hair. It is not normal after 2 years for their hair to be scanty and patchy and breaking. And that is caused by mishandling. All those tight styles, braids and chemicals will result in them not having long hair by age 5.

All the products I've mentioned can be bought in Nigeria, there are stored who sell them online and will ship to you so please Google them. There are a lot of natural hair ladies who can explain more (Google them or go to Fashion section and ask them on their threads).

Zaynie, I hope I've fulfilled all righteousness and can be quiet now

@ifyalwys please where are they located in Lagos? I haven't been able to join a Truppr run because the ones I've seen are usually on the mainland. Thanks

poseidon12:
I can see lies all over this killer's story. First he says his wife provoked him by confessing to cheating on him. Then he claims he did not kill her because he has no motive to do so. Yeah right.
He also claims he only pushed away his wife's hand on the stairway, on Thursday. Yet he says he came back Friday to see the wife still lying on the same spot but still thought the wife was pretending. Wonderful!
He claims the son locked the door and yet neighbours had to break the door to gain entry after the kids started shouting. Of course he locked the door and took the keys with him after killing the woman.
You need to do a better job and cook up a more convincing story.

Please just stop, it's not even worth it. Can you not see people on this thread already defending him by saying his wife must have provoked him? It's women I blame: be chopping beating until you die and everyone will blame you for not leaving sooner and your murderer will go scot-free. The only reason the police started a manhunt was because it had gotten everywhere on social media. The man would have gone to the police station with this tale filled with holes and th police would have let him go, because he's a Nigerian Man and it is never his fault.

But was anyone expecting him not to flee and claim he "merely" pushed her? Does that explain the cuts and bruises? He says he hasn't beaten her in 3 years, yet neighbours and her family day that he constantly beat her and accused her of infidelity.

Well, I've never met an abusive person who didn't blame the victim. Never. The first thing they do is to blame the victim. First sign of an abusive person: after the first slap or punch lands, he/she will tell you that you provoked him, that it it your fault he/she lost control.

cococandy:
Everyone is suddenly chanting "why didn't she leave?"
Let the story die down and you make the same comment elsewhere, then you're tagged the evil divorce advocate even though you haven't said anything slightly different from what everyone else is saying now.

Whatever rocks their both jare.

I'd rather use my post to advice those who are alive then type R.I.P for the dead.

Ngwanu the everlasting children of God and marriage preservers should come and congratulate her on being together till death do them part.
Nonsense.

Only a feminist will tell a woman with bruises all over her body to leave her marriage. Because feminists lie and are suffering much worse but coming to crow online. Right?

Do you know on that same thread talking about this case, a female poster said "oh this is my life right now. I didn't go to church today because the beating of yesterday was so bad. God help me".

My jaw dropped. Someone is seeing how a similar story to hers ended in murder and she's still sitting there, contemplating if God will send a knight in shining armour for her (rather than use her brain and her legs).

Sigh.

Seun, lalasticlala and RoyalRoy please can you lock this thread? The issue has become obscured and is just causing strife.

Seun, please if you do read this, last year I wasn't on your side when you announced you didn't want threads asking for help on NL but I can see why now. If I may suggest, meet with members of the TeHN. Verify them and let them be the ones to handle all philanthropy and aid cases. State it clearly in all sections that anyone who needs help should forward their cases to TeHN and they will verify and decide how best to get the rest of Nairaland's cooperation. Ask you lawyer about culpability if anything goes south (you should have a lawyer).

But please lock this thread. And any other thread like this. Because most of us are not equipped to handle this sort of situation and there are a lot of cunning people around and a lot of innocent people. Since TeHN seems to have a working method for verification and fundraising, let them do so and make sure you're covered legally. Simple.

Double post Moonwalker

Godzchild, which health centre are you at, is it the one at Isolo? I'm sure there are some expectant mothers registered there that are also on this forum. Also please post your hospital list, I posted one and asked if you could corroborate it. And if you are truly bleeding, didn't the doctor prescribe bed rest so you wont go into early labour? So how are you expecting us to send money, since i don't know any doctor who will say you should go to market. why not post your list and then people can see what needs to be bought.

Domestic Violence is NOT ABOUT ANGER, it is about CONTROL. They are not hitting you because they are angry, they are beating you up because they have lost control and they feel that is the best way to exert it back upon you.

One lady commented on one of these blogs that her husband would punch her for replying him so her pastor advised her to keep quiet and walk away. The next fight happened and she kept shut and walked away rather than exchange words. Her husband picked a chair and smashed it on her back, screaming "how dare you ignore me". Even in silence, the abuser will slap you and say you were using your silence to mock him (I've seen it happen and the next thing you know, the victim tried to leave the room and she was knocked down and being choked whilst we tried to save her). And once the victim of Domestic Violence tries to leave, the abuser immediately does his best to make her stay: either with apologies or threats.

If it were truly about Anger, the abuser would be beating up even a stranger over a trivial matter. But we know that does not happen often. If it were truly about disliking bad habits or being tired of the victim, the abuser would be relieved when the victim leaves. But we know that the abuser tends to fight against that happening. We see, time and time again, that the abuser is described as a "nice guy" outside the family unit and we erroneously think that perhaps it is the victim's fault. Nope.

Abusive people are manipulative and will do all they can to isolate their victim against the world. All in a bid to control them even more and when they cannot control their victim, resort to violence.

Domestic Violence is never about Anger, it is about Control.

Ahswear, some of the most hated words in my dictionary are "God sees blah blah, helpless, sleeping on the streets, orphan" blah blah blah. Because Nigerians have abused those words to the point of no-return. Once i see them, i deliberately refuse to help. OP, don't garnish your story abeg. She looks even better than some househelps I've seen, healthy and robust.

Now, if she's sleeping in a church and the workers know, what is stopping her from getting a wooden cutting comb, a big comb, one small blue rattail comb and Apple hair cream? N1000 can do all that and leave change. Let her tell the workers that if they have small children and wards, she can plait hair for a fee and you, OP, go to a cybercafe and print out on a paper a sign that says "makes hair" with her phone number, make copies of it, paste it on your wall and some other places. Because even if you pay for her room this month, what about next month? And the next?

Who are the people who attended her traditional marriage on behalf of her family? Where did they suddenly disappear to, what about her siblings? They don't need to give her money but at least she can sleep there.

EfemenaXY:

Sweet sister, will you not aid my plight??

Just the helmet alone is $1000, biko make my baby great. I have pictures, you can verify this.

tearoses:
Guilty
But not because its imported, but because sometimes you cant trust what is in what you are buying and mostly because the quality is poor.

Go buy and a cane and administer 20
hot lashes to yourself right now

The quality is poor but sometimes you can see the effort behind it. Sometimes you've gotta have faith in people. I don't know why I haven't given up on this country, we have friends who are relocating back abroad with the economy and it makes sense. All the people i know who are actively trying to help Nigerian society are those who can afford to move out of it. Meanwhile those who have no option but to stay here xould harsly care less about improving their society. But I keep believing and hoping for the people to be the greater good that we need (i know, i'm an idiot for believing). There's a guy I know that makes leather bags and honestly I wish I had money to invest in his business. Basic things like bleach, I can get made-in-Nigeria.

ifyalways:
@Onegai, please dear can you help me with a list of the basic but important things that 15-20K can get the OP. Thanks

I don't know precisely (I didn't get a list myself) but from other mums in the pregnancy thread, some things like:

Diapers (newborn size) a pack
Soap (I've seen Imperial Leather soap mentioned or Dove Pure and Sensitive soap).
Bleach (Sodium Hydrochloride, HYPO bleach is he one most hospitals use).
Vaseline (you can use it as a diaper cream).
OP can use one of her towels, she should boil it then wash. That will sterilise it for the baby towel.
Baby onesies (baby pajamas are okay and I don't think the OP can/should buy any baby clothes. Also check the second-hand people, wash and bleach)
A baby shawl (she should get from the people who sell secondhand) or use a wrapper
Detergent
Ladycare sanitary pads (rather than adult diapers)
Use shea butter or coconut oil rather than baby body lotion.
Avoid powder (doctors will tell you that).
Cotton wool (Lord knows why this is on the list but i have seen it on some people's lists)
A baby can use any type of comb, same thing is to sterilise it by washing in hot soapy water and some bleach.

OP what else is on the list? That should cover the basics for a month or 2 of infant care and please explain to the matron about your plight that you cannot afford more than the basics. You have to cut your coat according to your size. I'm pretty sure someone in your church will be willing to help.

May I suggest we not give the OP money but let us are who is around her area who can buy and give her the stuff? Sorry o, but ive been scammed recently by someone who called God more than the OP (she actually was a youth pastor sef), claimed she was an orphan and a student (when I got ahold of her friend, that one screamed in shock to hear that because her girl was a graduate and her parents were very much alive).

Btw madam, how was your trip? Didn't you see on the other thread where I said I needed help too? Horse-riding lessons and gear ain't cheap

Godzchild:
Please mods I know u doing a great job trying to verify me.God bless u.I equally want to plead dat those that have my complete id can verify me in physical.I gave the mod my main fbk address,going on my page to ask random people or people you think am friends with about my pregnancy and all is not nice.I don't even know some people that add me up on fbk,I have people that haven't communicated me in ages,I lived a private life so just asking them randomly if i have birthed is not healthy for me as some are strangers or old friends even distant people.friends are calling to ask about me been full term etc.Am at the laststage and u ddon't announce it to everyone atleast till I birth.mothers will understand.most above all,my about to be marriage crashed,my emotional state is shattered,I am staying like a recluse to pick my life back so exposing me to fbk strangers or people u think am acquainted with is just reopening my sorrow and too many questions.pls I beg in Gods name lets do it here for now so I birth safely,depression is enoughgh to kill.I know u understand.Godbless

Please may I suggest something? Go and meet your in-laws. Go and meet people in your life, private or not, there must be someone whom you have that can loan you at least N15,000 to buy soap and diapers like Molfix are like N3200 per pack of 90 pieces. Vaseline is cheap, so is bleach and the few things you all need for birthing in a Government Birth Centre.

Everyone feels strange about this story. There are issues in your story and when people you asked to confirm your identity asked your Facebook friends (whom you first told us didn't exist because you have no Facebook account), you were unhappy. At this point it is hard to verify you or even believe that you are not trying to make some quick money on the side. Which is unfortunate. My dear, if you were bleeding and stressed and in the final 2 weeks of pregnancy, all this wahala you are doing will be stressing you even more. So forget this story for now, meet some of your friends on Facebook and take a soft loan from them (you have said you are willing to hustle after birth, so repayment won't be too hard). Explain yourself to the matron and ask her if she can recommend a cheap list of items. Go to your church and talk to your pastor who probably knows you. Rather than relying on strangers who are suspicious and understandably doubtful. HTH.

Kaira333:
No dear

Please do you know his parents or family?

Kaira333:
yea, well talented. He is in Anambra state

Are you related to him?

Kaira333:
Dear all, Its OK. Enough of all these stress. She might be fake or real but please anyone dat has something to offer should just do it and leave d rest for God. If she is faking all those things just to scam , she should know dat she is bringing curse and hardship to herself. In case u don't have or u don't wish to help please be calm b4 u say something dat will make God unhappy with you. Sister in case ur story is real I sincerely feel for u especially for d innocent unborn child.

I love your profile picture! The boy who built that must be so talented. Please where is he?

cococandy:
They will come for your head o. You're bashing NIGERIA.

But seriously though something has to be done about our 'foreign products are' better mentality.
Even thought I suffer from it small I won't lie but I can say I only do that with stuff I'm sure is definitely better not just because it was imported.

All the so-called Lovers of Nigeria, please in their day to day lives, how many of them are actively buying Nigerian goods? How many of they take the time to purchase a Nigerian finished good as an alernative to an imported product

cococandy:
I'd get a beautiful stained glass pot and put them lovely shells in there. So cute.

So let me narrate a funny story about how badly Nigerian mentality of not appreciating what is theirs, is:

A few weeks ago, I went to one of my regular pro gardeners. I saw some big seashells there (about the same size as mine). I picked them up and asked her about it and she said "oh they are for sale". I was like, "okay, how much are they?". This was purely curiosity. She replied "a bag is N2000". I had to exclaim and I then asked her why they were expensive. Guess what her answer was?
"Oh these seashells are from Togo and Benin Republic!
I was dazed. So we are importing seashells now?!! When I asked her what the difference between these "imported" seashells and our regular seashells here on the beach, she replied that the imported ones "were whiter".

Even worse, all this happened in Ikoyi. The beach is less than 40 minutes away. And she even said they eat it in her area but it didn't occur to her to get some kids to pick it for free, she bought from Togo. I'm just praying she was lying to me, so she could make a profit. Because that would be so so much better than "we imported seashells to sell in Nigeria".

Wait, why am I complaining? There's a shop that sells packaged seashells from China, in Iponri market, as part of home decor

Nigeria's problems are many...

mrbillz:
People with such physique still floats. He's just too stiff and not flexible at all. I have seen muscular people floating well and doing freestyles

I thought so too but he said has very dense, i.e. his body mass.

mrbillz:
Lol! You cousin na stone

If he punches someone, you won't feel your face for a while. And he does mixed martial arts.

Went swimming when I was 7 months pregnant, took Baby E swimming when she was 6 months old. The most open body of water I've swam in was a lake, but we don't have lifeguards on our Nigerian beaches and saltwater stings my eyes. I'm so planning on going snorkelling soon.

Swimming is awesome. Yeah, one of my siblings can't float, too much muscle density.

phattie:
Well said, doc, but a pharmacist, by training, can respond to mild ailments and this is agreed upon worldwide. However, it is not in the jurisdiction to go beyond mild ailments. So going to a pharmacy and getting drug recommended isn't out of place. Depends on what you are getting and what is being treated. Cheers

I know. But the reality is that in Nigeria, a lot of people depend on pharmacists for what a doctor should do. You will hear people meeting pharmacists for even STDs or they won't tell them their medical history and pharmacist will prescribe not knowing their full medical history. A pharmacist prescribed antibiotics for swollen eyes due to teething, and apparently that's an okay call. Malaria is not a mild ailment, in this Nigeria any doctor that tells you malaria in a child isn't mild ailment hates you (I'm speaking from a place of having one of my family who used to one of the leading doctors on malaria research in children in West Africa and they made it clear to me not to joke with medicines or medical help. I am lucky to have access to them when many don't because of our healthcare system. And when I told them about this, they refused to join because they said they hoped we were not playing doctor here). My family members have cried over losing young patients to malaria (the patients were not related to them but theý were pained by the decisions the parents took and the child died).

I think since we are all adults on this thread, it is upto everyone to make a decision on what is best for their child. Me, I'm moving on. There are plenty sabi mamas here. There was also a group on Facebook with doctors which some mums joined, perhaps anyone interested can join them. Take care, ladies

cekhoe:
I officially give up in my dream to meet a governors son,its hopeless, as it can't be undone

My dear, governors' sons are entitled jerks. Take it from someone who knew some when they were young. And why do you want to marry a rich guy, do you wanna die of hypertension? All the girls chasing him and he feeling too cool for school. And some of them, their parents don't send them, they have to do all sorts of silly things to keep up appearances. Marry a man who's making it on his own, one day at a time.

Jarus:
Only rich have access to and mingle with the rich. And vice versa.


A good number of couple met in school. Rich and poor children don't attend same schools.

It wasn't always like that. In the 1980s, everyone went to Federal schools (university and secondary) and mingled. Oyeguns went to UNIBEN, Aminashauns attended UNILAG, Babangidas went to FGGC and QC, all the guys went to KC, Ambode attend FGC and the list goes on. It was calculated to intermix the social classes and it worked: rich kids made friends with middle class kids and pulled them up through marriage and business to form an upper middle class and strengthen the middle class. The distribution of wealth was better for the masses (more people with financial buying strength is a better economy. The proof of this is how our appetite for imports grew. Much more money and access to it flowed). Femi Otedola was a former Governor's son but Nana Attah wasn't. And they got married, as did an Okoya daughter to a guy of lower class and Igbenedion's daughter as well. Estates were a mix of rich and poor (Festac, Ikoyi, Surulere, Apapa).

But then the 1990s came and the corruption was swinging into peak mode. And the rot was eating away at the masses so things got more dangerous in society. So the rich started shielding themselves off (private schools like Corona and Home Science became popular) and by the 2000s, private universities grew as well. And estates became more exclusive (Nicon town, 1004, Friends Colony, Ikoyi).

So the classes no longer mix as freely and the next place they can meet is Social Media. There are billionaire's kids on Nairaland and Instagram and Twitter, same as kids from Mushin (btw, anyone with a moniker with the words "rich, wealthy, billionaire"etc is a struggler trying to impress people who don't know better).

The intermingling of classes helped distribute wealth because it helped create chances for people of all backgrounds to meet and see that they needed each other. Now, that's getting harder. And the poor are working harder to break into the upper classes. There's so much golddigging from men and women (just tell a guy or girl thay your parents live in Ikoyi and see how fast they start toasting you and declaring commitment. Then tell them you live in Surulere and watch how the same people take their "time to get to know you better before thinking of dating". And the middle class is shrinking.

pcguru1:
Because i thought u were referring to cooking, sweeping the crib and household chores, not sure why people think it's feminine to do those mentioned activities.

I guess breast-feeding fits into this one.

So you mean you cannot lactate? Guy, wia hav u bin?

Ohio is not the backyard to NY. He should go to Washington D.C. or Maryland. There are some Art residency programs he can apply to (but people get them from applying from Nigeria). What are his plans apart from the conference (is he planning on doing a school course or doing a short program at a private workshop/studio) and why didn't he contact his fellow artists here in Nigeria to ask them about what to do (because I know several people who would have recommended him to certain contacts abroad). If he had registered for a good course (depending on if he's an oil, acrylic, watercolour, pastel painter etc) and had documentation about it, accomodation would have been easier (whixh he should have some before spending his money). Let him contact his fellow artists here in Nigeria to see if he can get help, because it will really be tough for anyone to open their doors to a stranger. If not, come home.

lawydewy:
It mustn't be during the festival along. Let's. create event,cultural and tourism centers. Where they can perform and recite symposiums.

Only some few Masquerades that only come out ones in
a
year. Others do parade the street to catch fun and make
money.
Tourism centres on weekends, there will cultural displays
and dance,traditional modelling
(you can bring your wife in Ankara to cat/fish walk or
elephant walk if she is fat).
Normal Masquerades perform and recite poetries.
Your children can give symposiums or poems,I will clap
and drop something.
That will get he/she note books for a term.
Papa Emeka can sell soft drinks and sachets water,
while you can sell cigarettes and hard drinks.
Mallam Adamu will sell his Suya, he will not fight you
people in the bush.
Mama Kayode can sell rice and beans at one corner.
Mama Abdullahi can sell Kunu and Zobo just close to the
gate.
All these people are doing something,instead of poke
nosing, back biting&backfiring, gossiping and stealing.
While me at the weekends, I will come catch fun,relax
and
flex away troubled system of hard work.

This is a good idea and will work, only in Lagos and Abuja. Everywhere else is a disaster waiting to happen. I'm flexing in Jos and suddenly there's a religious riot. I'm flexing in Anambra and guess what, someone is burning down a mosque or Fulani Herdsmen are attacking. I'm flexing in Benue and Agatu comes up. I'm flexing in Warri and some militants (who.are actually nice to innocent people) smile at me and ask me to buy them drinks, so things don't get ugly. I'm driving around flexing in Lagos and a policeman flags me down...and keeps me there for 30 mins in the hope that I get pissed off and "settle" him just so i can continue my journey.

Which of those myriad problems has been solved before proclaiming the employment viability of Dressing masquerades?