₦airaland Forum

Tearoses, mouldy cake! that is insane. Truly Nigerians are very deceitful so I laugh when they blame the government, they do worse daily.

cococandy:
My Mother's Day bouquet. Still fresh.

Awwww....


I was supposed to have built my terrarium this week but Baby E is under the weather and we may have a hospital visit.

cococandy:

Na who the pikin resemble pass abi?

Of course. All firstborns resemble their fathers and that is the child that will shack him the most. Do you know all the crazy stuff my father did for his firstborn?! He chartered everything Mothercare, cleared out John Lewis (the U.K. version of Nordstrom not even freaking cheap Macy's!), and went to some pricey boutiques. Even the photoshoot was done abroad. To my father, that was The Prince That Was Promised/Azor Ahai Reborn/Jon Snow (this is funnier if you've read Game Of Thrones, ASOIAF). Papa changed those diapers happily! even though the firstborn grew up to be more like a Ramsey Bolton (I have to go and tell la familia that this is his new nickname behind his back )

Please is the lady legally married to the man or she just did traditions rites.

You know, even if your wife is a stay at home mum, you the father of the child can still help her. Being a Mum is harder than most 9-5 jobs (hey your boss isn't as crazy as a baby's demands and you get a break. Mother's don't). Anyone can drive a child to the mall, pay bills and play basketball with them (the driver, their coach, my brother, the guy I'm cheating on you with etc). A father is the one who provides the things said child cannot get outside.

Guys who fight these things on NL are usually unmarried men. Do you hear the men we know whom are fathers day stuff like "I have never changed diapers, never bathe my child" they simply keep quiet when they are these threads and the single men commenting on it.

Meanwhile, I'd be afraid of using that bathtub, all that water. Nigerian babies are not buttie enough to lie obediently in one place.

Niceeeeee

Tearoses, that's good news. I'll ask a lawyer tomorrow (I'm a bit concerned about what will be presented to a magistrate if they ask if she can sustain herself and how she paid for her accomodation. I'll also ask if he has any clues on her way forward). But tell her to please inform the church she was sleeping in: she needs her support base and even if she gets visitation, there is no saying what could happen. So she shouldn't be going alone and NLers may not be available everytime for a visit. Let her focus on work for now.

mom2Zee:
Hello everyone,
my first time commenting here. I have been a silent follower for some months now. The information I gain from this forum is always helpful. I must commend every one who has made input here. I appreciate greatly.
...your post on hair handling was really educating. please I want to ask these questions
1. when you say don't wash the hair frequently, does that include when bathing ? I wash my baby's hair during her bath with her bathing soap. I want to commence use of shampoos and conditioner when she turns 6months. she is 4months+
2. then my baby has full thick hair. usually looks rough after a while. so for church and other random events,I normally make it in tiny mounds (though I make sure it isn't tight ) . is 4months early to do so?
3. at one side of her head, she has a little patch. quite negligible. very little because when I comb through,it gets covered up and is hardly noticed. will it even out as she grows?
I know this is too much for a first time post. my apologies☺☺. thank you

1. Don't use baby soap, it's drying. Even when bathing you can put water on it and condition after. You don't need to wash daily with shampoo unless she constantly gets dirty (food, very heavy sweating, swimming in chlorinated water etc). You can use baby shampoo at any age (we started before 6 months). Some people use African Black soap (Which is milder than Dudu Osun). Herbalists will know it.

2. 4 months is pretty tender-headed for puffs IMO (especially if you're using rubberbands). There are easier styles or just leave it and put a big loose hairband around it. She will still look cute. If you're sure the puffs aren't tight, it's your decision to make.

3. It should grow out as long as nothing is causing the hair there to fall out. The patches on my kid's hair is slowly growing out.

Lilimax:
LIES!!!
This one na ice blocks from cold room or deep freezers. Period!
Una for show us the real rain fall where Ice block dey fall

For this kain whether wey dey hot like this for this obodo Nigeria...

Hailstorm: rains ice. Has happened in Benin city and Lagos, but the ice falling was much smaller.

They teach these things in secondary school...

(When is Nigeria going to take Education seriously )

thorpido:
He should spend the rest of his life in prison.Those who ought to protect an autistic child failed in their duty.

He, his family and village elders will beg. They will even blame the girl, the spirits and the grandmum. They will settle the DPO and appeal to him as "you are my son's age, let bygones be bygones, this elderly man cannot survive in jail one month" blah blah. And offer money to the grandmum and this case will and.

As proof that everything I've said above is correct, please take a look at Nigeria's number of court convictions for rape and child abuse: abysmally low. Because this is what happens 80% of the time.

bookface:
Too much crap!

The fact that this dude chose to emphasize her supposed infidelity shows that he did more than slap her on the face.


What this guy is trying to sell the public is that he had every reason to believe his wife cheated on him...and yet he didn't beat her or anything, she just died mysteriously. What porkies! I swear, i told more quality lies than this when i was a kid.

Someone just sent me this link. A blogger interviewed the sister and sister-in-law of the victim and they sent in screengrabs of conversations with the accused (he's begging to get his wife back and they speak about him beating her in the past and him cheating on her an f impregnating a woman outside). The women even say the neighbours have begged his wife not to leave her husband in the past because of the violence. That he was obsessed with her and constantly accused her of sleeping with any man he was near her (to the point of harassing her male contacts on her phone and Facebook page). So there are witnessed to his last violent behaviour. Now let him come and bring his own witnesses.


http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2016/05/exclusive-interview-and-munched-chat.html?m=1

Silvofitz, tearoses

Please tell her to tell the church that she needs somewhere to sleep and she will help them sweep. Unless Nigeria is filled with evil cruel people who are out to murder each other, I'm sure they will let her stay after she proves herself. Because if I clean and attend church and I see a young woman hanging around not saying much and I suspect that she sleeps there, I may be irritated that she's letting me clean up after her (I'm sure a neighbour to the church may have mentioned it to the wardens that she hangs around when they're gone). Then offer to plait hair after service especially on Sundays before school the next day. And then get weekday job in the market.

She needs to tell her community that she needs help. Because you and I are far away and will move on from this problem one day. But the people around her see her daily and will make enquiries and care for her if she brings her issues to them. Even if she gets visitation rights, what stops her from being beaten up the day she goes by her husband and his gf? Is it people bleating and wringing their hands on NL somewhere? But imagine if she gets the church mother's on her side, who dares a typical Yoruba man (brought up to respect elders no matter what) to lift a finger if she is escorted by 3 mamas of the church. Throwing money at a problem isn't always the best way to solve it. Let her tell people she needs help. I know why I said she was acting like a victim (she didn't think to go to the market and offer her services to one shop there), she's still not thinking straight so let her snap out of it quickly. So she can get her child back and her life back.

Kimoni:
If this 23 year old lady doesn't need accommodation urgently, I really don't know what else she needs. If she is not the epitome of strength, I don't know who else is.
Many have succumbed to life's pressure without tasting half of what life has dished to her.

At 23 - forced into marriage, lost a child, driven from home, restricted access to her only son yet she she is still living and hopeful and I should ask her to be strong?? lol... onegai abeg o; if she truly exist, she needs to preach 'strength' to a whole lot of us, myself including.

Anyways, I don't doubt that she needs help, if only I had a way of further verifying her story but Ibadan is not within my constituency at all.

Errrrmmmm...I don't think anyone forced her into anything, and the OP has stated her 3 needs and based on that, I gave her what i feel is a realistic longterm solution, I don't do sentiments. But we see things differently. OP, goodluck I'm sure she will get the help she needs.

Silvofitz:
The church is not even aware she sleeps in the open children church. She goes into the church around 10 or 11pm to sleep, and leaves as early as 5am before anybody gets there. Only the vigilantes know she sleeps there because they have sometimes challenged her in that premises.
The day we went to verify her claim of sleeping in the church, we saw three women sweeping and we had to pretend as if we were there to make enquiry about the order of service, because she feared they might dislodge her from the premises.

She should have introduced herself, explained her plight, tell them she's not here to beg but needs a place to lay her head and offered to pick up a broom and sweep. Im sure after a week of that, someone would have offered her a space out of pity. In this country of sentiment and religion, she didn't take advantage of that, hah!

Kimoni:
I must have missed something! I thought the OP said she's not asking for a means of survival. Just a year's accommodation and getting her baby back? If she is already fending for herself under this circumstance, I have no doubt she will pick up the remaining pieces of her life when adequate shelter is provided.

Even for working fellas, accommodation is a major expense head they sometimes need help with and sometimes resort to borrowing. How much more...

In Nigeria, she would have to go to an NGO who will meet with a magistrate for the court's to award custody. She cannot meet them and say she sells pure water as that is a very low-income job and cannot sustain 2 people. So she won't get custody. Hairstylist pays more. And by the time she starts and word gets round that "ah that woman who plaits hair dey work to get her pikin back", people will start being in her corner and fighting for her. Which is what she needs more than random sending of money from afar: her community should support her. OP said she needed accomodation, custody and a job because she was a hairstylist. Let her start and then everyone can discuss renting an apartment.

This is how I would position myself if I were in her shoes: pull myself up and let my community and family back me up. External help will only make me stronger.

Kimoni:
But will the church allow her to start a money making venture in their premises? Wouldn't she be overstretching their kindness? Not too sure about that but there's no harm in trying.

Again, if people around see her as a destitute taking refuge in church, how comfortable will parents feel sending their kids to her to plait their kiddies hair? Not sure I would but again, no harm in trying

I feel renting a room solves several issues combined and she can survive on her own after that. Several single mothers abound.

Well I was thinking that if I were in church and one day they announced after service that there was a young mother who was going through challenging times and needed our support but wasn't begging and was willing to raise herself through honest hard work and she would also join us in cleaning the church, I'd patronise her business. I've seen mothers in the Newborn thread sell things like coconut oil (rather than beg) and people patronised them.

My issue with paying immediately for the rent is that I've seen what handouts can do: they can immobilise the person seeking help into thinking "help is a click away in NL". So we give her a room, what are the chances that she doesn't immediately focus on getting her son back (any mother would). But then she doesn't think daily about how to survive. Let her start pulling herself on her feet and we will help her. But she needs to start. We cannot save everyone and it makes it easier to save her if she is willing to save herself.

She got married and people attended her wedding. Her husband kicked her out and denied her access to her son. Why hasn't she gone back to meet the family who gave her away to ask for their support in at least getting to see her son daily.

To be a single mother is not beans. She needs to start being strong and this is her first test. Let her start earning small money, no matter how little and taking care of herself. She needs to snap out of a victim mentality.

onatisi:
I don't know why Nigerians are celebrating this article. In all honesty this is an article that Nigerians should be sad about. Yes ,agreed the profit margin is good and that is even only if the story is wholly true ,it seems the get rich syndrome in Nigerians is what is making ppl jumpy about this news .
A Nigerian has succeeded in dashing almost 10million naira to Cameroon, the Cameroonians will shake hands with us and turn round to make jest of us,no wonder Africans usually call Nigeria "big for nothing", Nigeria happens to be the" only country in the world that export everything that she needs but import everything that she has" how can a Nigerian be happy to invest 76 million naira to import tomatoes and yet Nigerians are happy!!!! A white man will shake his head in disbelief if he reads it. Nigeria has the land,the weather,the human labour and all that is needed to produce tomatoes in export quantities. No wonder dangote is getting richer and richer ,he has seen the huge potentials in Nigeria and he is continuously and continually exploiting them. The only positive I can derive from this article is the fact that there is massive market potentials for tomatoes in Nigeria and the local supply is not enough to satisfy the local demand talk less of exportation. Investing in tomatoes farming in Nigeria definitely wouldn't cost up to the 76 mil or 10mil naira to import tomatoes!!. Instead of Nigerians thinking and racking their brains about dashing Cameroon money,lets ppl come together and work in starting up tomatoes farms ,a poster mentioned something about green houses and things like that ,many readers didn't take notice simply because of the Nigeria factor of get rich quick,buy today sell tomorrow and make profit but it is time we start planing for 10 years or more .

Onatisi, greenhouses are expensive to build and run in Nigeria and require a longterm investment. So we would need backers who are not looking for an immediate return on investment.

MaziOmenuko, I have an idea. I'm not an Agricultura person but an idea person. Let me think on a few days and get back to you on your challenge.

kafeii123:
You this geh!
At the mention of "money"
onegai must appear

But would you prefer me to appear at the mention of Snake, Olajumoke, Tiwa, Teebillz, Tonto Dike, IPOB, Buhari....mehnnn the list of topics on FrontPage is endless

Kayla12 hi i cannot access any PMs. Could you please speak online here? Thanks.

alpontif:
Yea, there was a Time I (in partnership with some folks) wanted to finance agrobusiness Trade Transactions on a Profit sharing basis, our only requirement was for businesses who need the finance to provide us with a Bank Gurantee or APG from their Banks.....

Nobody was able to do that, all sorts of shady characters kept cropping up....

So did you eventually find anyone?

Peterwins:
Good, keep looking. I understand the restraint of trade. It's important for people to understand certain business dynamics. What if he (Ymodulus) suffered a serious loss as a result of a sudden tomatoes glut in the market or an accident. The story will change, people will call him a fraudster.

Most people want a safe investment. However, the greater the profit potential the greater the risk. This should not be a get-rich quick scheme (agric business is not one), hence my advise to the Op to restrain himself from collecting money from anyone.

PS: Potential fraudsters are also viewing this thread to take advantage of gullible people.

you're right it shouldn't be a get-rich-quick scheme and there is a lot of risk on agriculture. Every business may suffer a set back, I'm looking for someone who knows what to do at the right time. And to all the scammers, let them try. I ignore most Pms and treat any entreaties for money as if coming from a criminal. Especially when the words "Christian/Honest/Good/Suffering Family"etc crop up in a business conversation.

Peterwins:
My sincere advise to the OP @Ymodulus, please do not collect any money (or be tempted to) from anyone (especially from Nairaland) to do this business on their behalf. Business is not for the faint-hearted especially when dealing with perishable goods/commodities.

Also this business is seasonal and therefore the profit/loss potential will vary based on the season when the trade takes place.

Protect your integrity.

I laughed and smiled at the ignorance displayed by the guy(s) that doubted your story. If not the fixation on oil and gas, Nigeria would have been an agricultural giant.

Peterwins in every other climate, getting investors into your business won't be a tough thing. But this is Nigeria, where there is little legal recourse. Nor everyome can run into business themselves. People have a right to be sceptical. I'm currently speaking to someone whom her job is to invest on behalf of her clients (she's handled large portfolios and her last big investment was in Mining and Solid Minerals) and I've been looking for some agro businesses to invest it and help expand the business by linking them to my contacts. Nothing has come up clean. I guess I'll keep looking.

catlova2:
The sharp guy/girl duped so many here. A colleague almost fell victim.

I bliv d person was actually into d business tho initially but saw an opportunity begging and he or she used it.

People can be so gullible

I did a quick search and I remember her, the Onion business lady.

Hmmm...

catlova2:
Anyways, share your story. I hope this thread wont end up with some lazy ass sending his/her life savings to someone in the hope of investing. It has happened here before.

Forreals? so what happened?

Ymodulus please I'm going to send a pm right now to you.

More

sheweezy:
Thank you all for the reaponse. It is cos of the sugar content and complains v heard about that i decided not to go for peak 123. I will try the nido. But my question has not been fully answered. Can i introduce it to him now or chill till next month. Then is milo ok or which other beverage is ok.

I didn't want to say this o (before people start doing it) but my doctors gave me permission to give my 10 month old follow-up milk because she wasn't drinking formula but could eat adult good. I don't do it often and decided to still breastfeed (we are weaning now and she's the same age as your boy). So ask your doctors, they may say it's fine.

sheweezy:
Thank you all for the reaponse. It is cos of the sugar content and complains v heard about that i decided not to go for peak 123. I will try the nido. But my question has not been fully answered. Can i introduce it to him now or chill till next month. Then is milo ok or which other beverage is ok.

I didn't want to say this o (before people start doing it) but my doctors have me permission to give my 10 month old follow-up milk because she wasn't drinking formula but could eat adult good. I don't do it often and decided to still breastfeed (we are weaning now and she's the same age as your boy). So ask your doctors, they may say it's fine.

sheweezy:
@onegai, is it safe to take my baby swimming at his age. Then please where can i get swimming diaper please?

Almost 1 year ols? Yup. Jst make sure the pool is sanitary (almost all are becauae they chlorinate the water). We've been swimming since 6 months, if you can find a heated pool (Ikoyi club has one for example) 3 months old baby can go swimming. The only reason i won't take a newborn to a public pool in Nigeria is that it's a public pool and under 3 months is quite delicate. As for swim diapers, they used to sell them at Ebeano but not any more. They still sell swimsuits for babies and kids that you can wear over the swim diaper (to keep baby warm though it's not necessary). I've never checked Balogun market for them. I bought mine in the U.K. and I'm pretty sure Aliexpress has them. I got a pool noodle from GAME for N700 because those floaters were N1000 (in traffic) and they deflate easily (plus babies outgrow them).

Not always. These are guidelines which several children skip or change the timing. As long as it happens then there's no cause for alarm.

My baby couldn't crawl but stood up supporting herself on furniture and cruised around the house. Then learned how to crawl after that. She's just learning to stand unsupported and she's 10 months. A few of her cousins never crawled in their lives but cruised and walked.

byvan03:
The gist frustrates me because no matter what I say, you will always hear " am staying for the kids". I totally agree with you, most times these women's decision have nothing to do with finance.

One lady once told me about her ex-husband whom she stayed with, on top of the heating. She had a job, contacts, no kids yet. She even fought her blood sister when that one came to defend her and fight her husband. When she started having kids, the beatings increased and she finally ran for her life. I still wonder why she stayed. Even in this Ronke Shonde's case, she had a job so she could have left. But take a look at the nice pictures the couple took together (I know happier couples who haven't done Photoshoots).

It's a psychological thing. They are genuinely afraid they cannot manage on their own and they be a internalised it. I remember when I was in a similar situation and I asked myself "what's wrong with me that this happened to me and not others? It must be my fault". It wasn't and that is why I tell people "Domestic Violence is about Control and not about Anger". There women in these marriages sometimes need pyschological help, emotional support and encouragement to leave, more than money. It isn't just to say "Leave" but to say "you are not the problem, your attacker is. This is not your fault".