₦airaland Forum

modath:
Wakaing pass... I say make a holla my peeps..

Zaynie, soonest, onegai, kimoni, feddy27 , proudmom38 , mama zino , liftedhands , itssettled3 sugah , hafsat24 (should be 26 now at least) sayoberry , favorgal etc .... If i no mention... Nor vex, i can't fit disrespect my connect (i go come edit am)

Continue to waka pass! When your legs enter this thread again, may you catch 9 months punishment

I joined a gym but would go home to replenish my lost carbs with white bread and rice so it didn't work. But this time, I mean life! That 65kg must come back by fire by force. I even found my Latin dance shoes, so I must wear short skirt and shake my bum bum in slim thighs. #2017Goals!! The only issue is silly HUNGRY Naija boiz who will be tapping current like they don't see women outside, instead of dancing.

ifyalways:
Blend, sieve out water and then cook/turn as your normal semo or wheat

Ahhhhhhh!!!!

Big Mummy is pregnating or carrying newborn pikin!!

(How is omugwo going. I'm supposed to come back and join you for truppr, no more dulling myself).

FortuneTeller:
You are lying if you are in the US. I'm here also and have worked around quite a few attorneys. I'm not saying no lawyer has an outside child while being married, but it's nothing like Nigeria. Many people in the US have been married more than once, so of course they are going to have other children from their prior marriages. Americans have a low tolerance for infidelity and don't mind getting a divorce if a man is cheating excessively. If you don't want to marry again after your first marriage failed, then that is your choice. But don't try to tear down another country because of what you experienced in your life.

I was sorta surprised to hear lots of people have secret children in the US, especially in California (a certain former governor doesn't count as "a lot of men have secret kids" and last I checked, no random deadbeat dad impregnating girls from age 14 counted either). I mean, just thinking of the Child Support alone... Most men don't get like divorced because of Alimony and Child Support payments gulping half of their paychecks.

wholesomegrace:
New grains.... i've not heard of that. Who has heavy carbs epp? I've been substituting white rice with ofada even before keto, and If a diet includes that I eliminate refined flours for coconut or almond flour, sugar and sugary drinks etc, then its healthy. It's also a diet recommended by doctors for some set of people, can't remember why except i check online again. Keto is infact healthy, and I don't know of any long term effects of eating healthy

White rice isn't healthy and I would substitute it. Sugar and processed flour, most definitely is a good idea to give up. Those are the basis of almost any healthy eating lifestyle changes. But the people who were selling Keto diets to me were talking of making swallow out of some very weird stuff and some other things. And I have not seen a Dr so far recommend it to me o (and I have asked a lot of them and since I wasn't paying them for their advice, they were brutally honest ). And I have met some good nutritionists (well-known) who don't approve of any named Diet. It's pretty perplexing. Healthy eating is quite different from a diet, according to all thess people.

Another take on the Nanny-Creche Discussion:

http://nefescorner..com/2017/06/a-nanny-day-can-it-keep-creche-away.html

Creches seem like a better option but it depends on each individual. I have seen a wonderful nanny whose salary started ast N25,000 and she ended up leaving with N500,000 as a gift 4 years later, with an offer to always feel free to come back when she wanted. Hopefully this gives you a clearer insight.

Another take on the Nanny-Creche Discussion:

http://nefescorner..com/2017/06/a-nanny-day-can-it-keep-creche-away.html

Creches seem like a better option but it depends on each individual. I have seen a wonderful nanny whose salary started ast N25,000 and she ended up leaving with N500,000 as a gift 4 years later, with an offer to always feel free to come back when she wanted. Hopefully this gives you a clearer insight.

Cc spiceeamie

WambyDiapers:
So many babies and children are developing Asthma and other allergies nowadays. Our world is no longer the safe, healthy place it was in our parents' time. Choose the organic option today, keep your baby chemical-free and safe.

We have seen so many parents complain constantly about rashes and sensitivity to chemicals in disposable diapers and we know that cloth diapered babies are very safe! 100% organic and natural, pure and breathable. Give your child the best.

Please reas our take on chemical-free diapers here:

www.nefescorner..com

Please lovely blog readers, check out www.nefescorner..com, I have moved!! the blog will cover even more topics apart from cloth diapering and feature guest writers, lots of pictures and great videos. I sincerely hope you enjoy it and turn it into something interactive,your comments are more than welcome and you can always contact me to get your great cloth nappies and diapers. Thank you very much.

Cc fvine

wholesomegrace:
I've been on keto for a month now and have lost at least 7 kg, it could have been more, but I cheat often, infact, when i cheat and check my scale, i find out i gain between one or two pounds back or remain on the same number for some days.

So for those who want to start and are breastfeeding, you are advised to do nursing mothers meal plan so that breast milk will not kuku finish. Flat tummy water is a no no too.

And for those of us who have packed bweest for oga and subsequent pikins, we do the main keto. The koko is once you cheat, get back on track again and if you feel you need to take the non compliant meals, do it in moderation i.e when I had this consistent headache as a result of keto flu, I started taking normal meals once a day before enemy will go and faint and i'm fine now and back to keto. Keto requires consistency and thats why those that have achieved their ideal weight still go on maintenance cos if you go back to ur old ways of eating, the pounds will begin to add up

To all my foodies in the house, I yam the chief foodie, infact, I have been on the big size right from birth... story for another day, I was so big, and from my mums story, only God and God alone saved her. My appetite does not have part two, hence, i have always been on one weight plan or another. What it takes is discipline, and keto as been the easiest so far so I rarely exercise now, (no where to put baby).

Add yourself to the groups, they are plenty and read success stories. You will be encouraged

Hi, I've heard a lot about Ketogenic Diet. I'm a bit concerned, as it seems like you guys are substituting one food group out (most of the heavy carbs) for new typed of grains. I would have liked to try it but I'm not sure about the longterm effects...

enque:
cc wambydiapers

Hellos! Goodfortun, how may I help you?

https://www.nairaland.com/3511128/how-cloth-diaper or www.nefescorner..com for all your info about Cloth Diapering and Cloth Nappies. And I'm on hand to answer as many questions as possible.

Shoot me a pm?

I'll be moving the blog to a new address so please watch this space. New pictures and posts as well, there's a new model in the house I actually got guest posters (but they insisted I pay them, because the economy is not smiling and there is no longer anything like "We Are Family )

(enque thanks for the mention)

All the best to the June Mums. I know it's the final phase and you've done a lot of hard work to get here. It hasn't been easy for most of us but I believe things will work smoothly. So good luck and happy pushing!

adexsimply:
Hello, please can I send you a PM?

Okay

modath:
I just PMed you. Didn't ask first... .. How is lil princess? Missionary 2.0 nko ? Or you are waiting for USD to come back to sub 200?

All dem ME countries will be fearing someborry now sef... The hostility in that region is off da chains!!!

Ifax is right, what is happening is that they are changing flight plans to avoid the countries banning them. So expect some delays. However, I personally wouldn't want to be having a long, need-to-leave-the-airport layover there for now. It won't hurt to call the airline beforehand and confirm.
MamaOO, Emirates and Etihad are fine, you could look at those airlines.
Modath, the cause of the wahala makes no sense (it sounds like "he-said-she-said crap", like Ghana and Nigeria banning themselves over Jollof rice fight ) but the speed at which other countries retaliated is silly and everyone is saying our dear Orange Cheeto is the one pushing them to do it. I haven't seen any message from you o.

Well, on a good day in my naive past of halcyon happy days, I'd have said Joro is a liar as usual, buuuuuttttt...

Story 1: a very popular Lagos big girl, whose marriage included her husband coming to her company to slap her for daring to send a challenging message to his current side chic, in front of all her employees. Marriage eventually packed up after the final help not only got pregnant and flaunted it, but attempted a kidnapping of one of madam's children.

Story 2: one of our former maids, who in front of my mother's disbelieving eyes, showed up at the salon, dropped off by oga, to do her hair, calmly greeting everyone. The owner of the salon said oga even convinced his small kids that maid was better than Mummy and his mother was calling the maid "my dear". The juju was THAT strong (eventually wife prevailed though she went grey all over her hair and aged from the stress).

Story 3: wife found out about maid and husband after maid tried to forge a cheque from husband's account book. Imagine being called to the bank manager's office and maid is screaming "oga give me cheque after we fvck, I jus make small mistake try add another 0, no bi tief I tief am". Wife dies internally, she's being paying schoolfees like a good supporting wife because hubby said his money was going to building their home.

I'm just saying, Nigerian Men are capable of anything...

In the spirit of being kind (no-one will answer me if I ask but no p)

Qatar is having a diplomatic row with all the countries surrounding it and they have shut down their borders, ports and airspace. Those countries are also ejecting Qatari citizens from their country. The Qatari govt is scrambling to make sure Turkey doesn't also ban them from their airspace as Saudi Arabia has (I believe a portion of your US trip flies over SA airspace, you could ask some pilots or check online) so they are not completely isolated. Everyone in Qatar is rushing to the supermarkets to stock up on groceries (kinda like what you would expect if a country is in some crisis). The US is the one pushing for Qatar to be isolated and has also approved social media searches for visa applicants.
Anyone planning on using Qatar Airlines should probably have a rethink for at least a week. At least till the situation on ground is clear.

Cc mamaOO

With all I have seen and heard and experienced about Nigerian Marriages, I'm going to spend all my time bringing up my son rather than my daughter. Because it's not our girls with issues, our menfolk simply cannot appreciate a good woman and are not taught how to be good husbands. There is something so fundamentally broken in the Nigerian Man. You cannot spend 22 years plus training a girl child for marriage and ignore the male child and expect success stories in Marriage. OP's story is so commonplace, it's not even funny. I don't know which married woman in Lagos is not living this life right now. You see them everywhere. You do your best, you pray, you look your best, you cook your best, you smile your best, you bang your best... He acts like he wishes he was in Jericho, bored, selfish, emotionally withdrawn and listless.

KanwuliaJaara was right, don't carry any man on your head and keep "distractions" quietly on the side. It's painful but she was right all these years...

Seriously, Nigerian women, stop denying yourselves. Plenty single guys dey. Be super discreet. It's nice to be chatted up once in a while and at least, you know what's up.

luscioustrish:
@Onegai

Thanks for taking time to reply patiently with details when u can


Can I send a pm please?

Sure

advania:
Can I send you a pm?

Thank you

Sure

Florena:
Mamas pls weigh in on this!

I've concluded I like baby sitting, I mean I love it and I love babies........ I want to take it as a profession.i have OND already and I'm in my final year for BSC(grade looks good ), just started the session actually, service is still there and I have my own baby (over 6months old).

my questions are:
Is there a course here in Nigeria i can take, so I can be more professional?
how does it sound leaving your own child to care for other people's children or can I take him along?
when can I start, considering my academics too?
is it possible to earn enough, considering what I might get from other jobs?
how do I approach hubby with this idea?
how do I package my own kind of Nanny?

i believe happiness comes from doing what you love.

Okay, you like babysitting, you want to take a course in childcare. Based on that, you are about 35% ready to take care of my baby . Because you are more willing and love your career more than half the people working in creches.

Now, I don't know if Nigeria has childcare courses and I doubt it (I have met former classmates who own creches and I wouldn't have trusted them with a puppy sef but here they are). But... What about the World Wide Web?? The internet has lots of resources on this and probably some courses. So read read read.
I would expect you to know Health and Safety, First Aid, Baby Nutrition, Baby Development etc. I'd like you to ask me for a schedule of Baby's events all through the day and meals. You've got to have at least 18 hours light (because of milk and food storage). If you also tell me, "after nap time I will toss all babies in a stroller and take them to a nearby playground and I have a movable baby cam so you can always check up my behavior", you've got my child already.

Maybe start by either asking a creche nearby if you can volunteer for 2 months for a reduced salary so you know if you can handle multiple screaming babies. And start by taking in no more than 3 kids, preferably close to your child's age.

You're not ready to open a creche (let's learn how to paddle before learning how to swim, because Nigerians will urge you think big and then you are not ready). But does that stop you from taking in a few Babies into your Baby-proofed home. Try and set up a child corner, diaper corner, feeding corner and play area. No electric sockets, sharps or wires or bottle of Raid and Sniper. No buckets and toilet door always closed.

Put up colorful flyers in your area and word of mouth. And then take it from there.

advania:
Hello.
Can I talk to you please?

Okay

By the way, nobody should have friends of opposite sexx in Marriage. Nobody should have Pastor of opposite sexx in Marriage. Stop deceiving yourself because it is very hard to have boundaries once you justify it with labels like "Friend" and "Pastor". God intended your spouse to have those labels and wear those crowns, which is why it is easiest to cheat within those groups.

Katyamizotta I'm good, hope your kids are good too

Istoctober,

Please listen to me. You did it once right? Good.

CONFESS IN 4 MORE YEARS!

If you were a serial cheat or this affair had lasted 1 month long, I would make you confess tonight. Instead, you made a mistake. A stupid, selfish, thoughtless mistake. And you are paying for it. Good!

And let me be honest: ALL CHEATS DIE FROM GUILT. WHEN YOU FEEL GUILTY ABOUT SOMETHING, EVEN RAIN WILL LOOK LIKE PUNISHMENT. THAT GUILT IS PUNISHMENT FROM GOD.

Hallelujah. God never said you would commit a sin and He would forgive you and all would be groovy (which is what churches teach yoi), God said He would restore you, after you paid the price of your sin. You must pay the price but God has bought some of the debt. Like you owe the bank N250, 000 but your parents pay off N100, 000. If you don't pay the price, then there is no Justice in Heaven. Even men pay the price and the longer they sin, the more their debt is (it then spills into their kids).

You have taken Responsibility for your sin so in my book, you owe just like N80, 000. That's great news!

So, go to a women's group. That is whom you need, no more members of the male sexx to give you the emotional comfort you crave and you then cheat emotionally and physically, you did that the first time and have the scarlet letter branded on your head to show as a badge. Unburden yourself to your women's group (preferably this group is not related to your church, human beings can't keep their mouths shut). They will help you. They will help you and give you support while you pay off your debt. They will be there when you need the intimacy your husband is not giving. For now.

Next, identify every problem in your marriage. Starting with you. You must have felt no emotional satisfaction in your marriage (men are not taught how to marry, they are taught that paying schoolfees and rent and holiday and buying car = Great Husband). So, you need to work on identifying what you need. Then go get it from your husband. Say "I need you to spend time with me and not with UCL Juventus vs Barca" (boys, you can watch that football match later, don't neglect your wife for it). Tell him
"I feel secure when you come home early".
"I feel loved when you use soft words to correct me"
"I feel intelligent when you give me a chance to advise you"
"I feel sexy when you come into the kitchen and slap my arse when I'm cooking and leave again",
"I feel safe when you send me 5 messages during the day when you are at work because it feels like you think of me a lot",
"I feel Happy when you come home and unwind then join me on the couch because I feel like that means you love how you feel at home",
"I feel passionate when you see me looking unkempt and you push me into the bathroom, shower with me and insist on rubbing lotion on my body".

Don't even think of blaming him for this. You had a choice, you chose wrong. Same as he, had he cheated, he will have chosen wrongly.

From there, work on your relationship (notice I didn't say marriage, I said work on your relationship with your man). Fix you because you are the offending party (screw a wise woman buildeth whatever blah blah, a CEO builds his company, stop giving guys a free pass to fvckup their marriage till they turn 60 and old age and sickness suddenly gives them brain).

The offending party/cheating party starting to fix the marriage first means the marriage gets rebuilt in 5 years. The Betrayed party starting to fix the marriage first means the marriage gets rebuilt in 10 years. That's why most Nigerian wives tend to enjoy their marriage 10 years plus, not earlier.

Once you rebuild your marriage, THEN you can then confess and apologize. Because to apologize right now, you're only doing it to Unburden your guilt to him. Because it's too heavy, you're not confessing because you are wrong and want to make amends. You will feel a weight lifted off you but finalize the destruction you brought in his life. You will confess eventually, to clear yourself and be ready to keep apologizing for even 2 years.

So this sound like a plan? You got work to do girlie

Istoctober,

Okay, let's do this!

Let me tell you a story: 2 people meet, they are happy and they think "Hey this could really work!". So they get married. And suddenly, one is speaking Hausa and the other is speaking Igbo and neither understand why both are so sad and upset. Add in children, stress of money, family challenges and the house is no longer a home. Everyone is suffering and smiling and managing.

Now, maybe one or both partners, in weakness, takes the easy way out: men run to bars, friends, develop friendships that cross the boundaries, cheat. Women develop friendships that cross boundaries, run to church (because this is Nigeria, there is nothing else for you to do as a woman than to have babies, attend weddings and go to church. Even if you wanted more). Both parties are exposed to our so modern and convenient life (which is horrible). And one party finally crosses the bounds and.... An affair happens.

It could be emotional cheating (where you dream of this person being your spouse, spend more time being friendly with that person, share your happy moments with that person, feel good when you see that person, confide in that person, hide the fact that you are spending that much time and that much energy on that person) or it could be physical (when you cannot get enough of that person's touch). Both are the same. Both are horrible.

Cheating is a symptom something is wrong. But it is NOT A JUSTIFICATION OR A GOOD REASON TO BREAK TRUST AND LOYALTY. This applies to men and women.

That means, it is NOT your spouse's fault you cheated. Cheating is looking for JAMB special center instead of working your butt off. There is always a "justifiable" lie for you to cheat. You had problems and you decided to fvck up by taking the easiest route. And your pastor and you started from emotional cheating and ended up in bed.

So, now what?

Okay BRB istoctober

Do you want me to post here and talk to you?

Hi katyamizotta

cococandy:

Forgive my laughter. It's just funny.

I've an older female related to me that this describes perfectly. And sometimes I just keep quiet so that someone won't go report me to my parents for being disrespectful.

I've always wanted to ask her in a not very nice way. "What did you gain from your marriage and why are you always on the case of single girls"?

Eh, I just got my own tongue lashing. I reacted to very obvious wickedness and it was met with shrieks of "Are you being rude to me?!!! "when the actual thought was" At last, an opening! I can finally break her down, I thought she would never snap, whew, now whom do I report her to so they can finish the good job of demolishing her, I need to protect my own at her expense". I cannot WAIT to fvck her daughter up one day in a likewise manner.

It makes no sense to them that they can be a better way. Change is hard, especially when millions cannot do it. That is why they will tell you "Marriage is not easy, Love covers a multitude of sins" whilst glossing over the fact that not only did God abhor Adultery and Abuse so much, He put it in the 10 commandments but the Bible is filled with scripture telling men how to act better. However, who's in charge of most churches? So why fight the status-quo.

cococandy:
It's true. What I wonder most is this.

I did notice based on personal experience that it's even the women in unhappy marriages who are usually loudest about enticing other girls to get married.

It's almost like they have a secret joke that I'm yet to find out.

And when you have problems and want to leave, they will fight you to the bitter end to make sure you stay, armed with biblical passages, browbeating and ruthless emotional blackmail. They will swear to you they are now happy after 10 years of sorrow, so you should get in line. They are also the chief procurer of the movie "War Room".

In the North, it is women who celebrate child marriage loudest. They went through it and survived, how dare you think things should be different? Peju Alatishe made a statue to it.

cococandy:
Lmao

Why are you laughing, it's the truth we can scream all we want about what will happen after (the terror, anguish, heartbreak and dumb acceptance of their jail and sorrow and clinging desperately unto prayer and the Church), but they are too busy fantasizing about the asoebi, how pretty they will look, the attention they will get and how sweet it will be to start every sentence with "my husband said/did...". Idiotically, they don't realize that is why weddings are all about the bride: because you should always dress the animal to be slaughtered for sacrifice in a nice manner and pet it, you wouldn't want it bolting in fear now, would you?

I mean, the happiest married Nigerian woman is usually in her 40s. Let that chilling remark sink in as you wonder what happened to her 20s and 30s.

Juzzybabe, relax your child won't grow up and hate you. My cousin doesn't care about his father (he loves his mum), I don't send my dad, infact I won't even name my child after him (and he left me property sef), and as you can see, there are a million threads on NL stating how they love their mothers, not their fathers. So ignore all these people trying to scare you. They have to try so that when you break down and go back to your marital cage like a dumb and broken animal, they can high-five themselves on a job well done and hope when it is their wife's turn, others will help break her down into dumb acceptance.

Marriage for women is like chickens voting for Christmas; they know they are gonna die but they still want Christmas to be celebrated and are happy when it comes around.

Where are all hospital, creche and school fees receipts? Get your bank statements for at least 6 months. More than enough proof that he paid zilch for upkeep. Then get a shi.t hot lawyer. You may need to start a social media campaign.

temi4fash:
With the wooden deity repercussion is immediate...

Reason why our politician refuse to be sworn in with it...

That was his point, 3 years ago my priest said the same thing to me: that if he walked into a room and greeted, he would only get half-replies. Buy if a random babalawo walks in and says "Ifa catch you for not greeting!" almost everyone there would react, rush out, run to MFM/Rccg etc for anointing against attacks, innocent or not. We have no fear of God. If we had to swear at Ifa oracle to be faithful in marriage, people will be so honest and marriages so fantastic the world would be forced to come down here and find out what our "African" values are. The divorce rate would be low, which is why we always talk about how awesome marriage was in the past: people cheated and abused their spouses but it was with less impunity and more fear. There were repercussions.

dingbang:
please and please, cheating and battery is not only associated with the women gender.. You are being totally biased

A man wrote this. Please take it up with him.

Someone sent me this:

"#Repost
If and only If we can start taking Marriage vows before Amadioha, Sango and their brethren, many marriages will experience more bliss.

People stand before God and lie because he is very patient with us.

Just imagine that you took a vow before 'Arusi Njaba' that you won't cheat or hit your woman, that you would provide for her, that you won't abuse her in any way; if you go against your vow, its instant judgement.

Most of us will then learn to respect our vows. I would rather that people don't take marital vows serious any longer.

I feel it is mockery and it is no longer funny."

Copyright, Victor Ibeh 2016

I agree. I had a male friend who stopped attending weddings simply because it was a waste of time, to him. He didn't understand husbands' behaviors. He refused be complicit in helping them hide affairs and cheating whilst inviting him over for lunch with their spouse and kids the next day. He got tired of the mockery of marriage. Church wedding has become a joke, I'd rather celebrate Traditional Wedding in my village in front of some wooden deity.


2025 update: Marital Vows should be taken in a proper religious setting that you respect and adhere to. I quite like the Church for mine.

Thorpido and Mindfulness, I'm good and about to increase the world population any day now. Hope you guys are doing great too.

realsupermum:
Please mamas don't read and pass,please respond.

Go visiting until you find one that makes sense. Few teachers, good curriculum, a nurse, no electric sockets open in children's range, ask them what they did when they heard there was a meningitis outbreak in states around Nigeria, how do they handle food etc.

hunniesuzie:
They said the school is in the UK oh, Keele University School of Health & Rehabilitation, Newcastle under Lyme Staffordshire in the U.K

Keele University School
School of Health & Rehabilitation

Dean: Dr Cath Bücher
Phone: 01782 734344
Email: c.bucher@keele.ac.uk

Good. So you can send an email to the Dean, nothing impassioned or emotional, simple:

To the Dean, blah blah

I would like to bring to your attention the actions of one of your students, Antonia Bisola Abayomi-Ojo. During her time working as a physiotherapist in Nigeria, she was caught on CCTV camera physically and mentally abusing one of her charges. A criminal action was taken against her and she confessed to her crimes. However, she absconded without facing the effects of her actions. I feel strongly that your institution should be in no way associated with her and should not award her any degree because she has shown conduct unbecoming of your worthy profession. That she should not be allowed to practice and cause further harm to children who are already at risk due to their disabilities.

Please find below the report detailing her Crime, attached to it is the video evidence of her abusing a child with Cerebral Palsy.

https://www.bellanaija.com/2017/05/my-daughter-with-cerebral-palsy-was-battered-by-the-therapist-i-trusted/

Thank you for your cooperation.

The school gets a 100 of these emails, they'll call her to explain herself. It will take you less than 2 minutes to send it. It will take you less than 2 minutes to post of IRex's wall (she may have gotten a scholarship from them). UK Mums, it will take less than 2minutes to make that phonecall.
Or we can all keep crying, handwringing and calling on God to smite her, ineffectually. I'd rather she lose her license and career. But that's just me.