₦airaland Forum

Signing a petition to the Department of Homeland Security is the wrong way to go. They can't do much because I do not believe they can rescind her visa without a police report. What you can do is to contact the State Physiotherapy Board she is practicing in and her school. Bombard them with emails and links to the original article plus video. That is more effective. Start from here:

https://www.irex.org/people/anthonia-bisola-abayomi-ojo

How to contact Ibex on Facebook:
https://m.facebook.com/irexinternational

Find out what school she is attending and in what state and flood their servers with emails. If anyone can tell me what state or school she is in, I can at least do my part to send an email with a link and make a phone call to lodge a complaint. Ask all the Mums in the US (temporary and permanent to do the same). Those in Nigeria, send emails to the State Physiotherapy Board. They should suspend her and await an investigation based on that, the change.org petition is not going to hit her.

Datgoaldigger1, thank you for sharing that story about Gambling and Addiction. I'm glad you got out on time. It will be tough and there will be a lure to enter back into that lifestyle. Nobody can control and addiction and that is what makes it so hard, that you feel you can be in control.

Please, keep posting and sharing here. If you feel the need to go back to the Betting Store, sign in and post here. I unfortunately won't be able to monitor you, but I will try and get as many eyes here on it, so they can always speak to you until the craving and urge passes. You can find ways to immerse yourself in a hobby to keep you from being idle. Stay strong, Brother.

Cc thorpido
Royalroy
Mindfulness

To all the people crying in anguish over his comments, it must be that you are new to Nigerian Society. This kind of justification for beating, cheating on and abusing your wife is so common that I personally do not waste my time praying for any man. Awon Not All Men™ Boy Band will flood here to sing their chorus very soon, instead of them to tell their fellow men folk "the more you do this, the worse Marital institutions suffer and God will hold us all responsible because He made us the head and we led the women astray". The only good Nigerian man is a dead, rich one. Shrug.

Yul is making mouth. His wife doesn't look like the person that will accept him brushing her quietly. Seen her a couple of times in person. But yes, he just showed his "Quality Upbringing" his Father gave him. I'm glad he has daughters (one of his kids is a girl). One day, he will tell them that their cheating, beating husbands is their fault and cross to bear.

Lyoncrescent:
Please can we get pictures from Delta,Akwa Ibom,Rivers,Cross River ,Edo and Bayelsa. According to the 1967 arrangement these states are supposed to be part of biafra. Can our ipob brothers and sisters please clarify if all those states I've mentioned are supposed to be part of the new 2017 biafra ?

DELTA IS NOT PART OF BIAFRA! DELTA IS NOT PART OF BIAFRA!! DELTA IS NOT PART OF BIAFRA!!!

Tg

Jon had to fight Ramsey Bolton. Whilst he was making battle plans, his half-sister Sansa told him about the personality of Ramsey. He refused to ask her or listen because according to him (quite rightly), she didn't have battle experience. Now, Sansa agreed with him: she didn't know anything about battles but she knew Ramsay's personality.
Let me be clear: your personality is a better indicator of what you will in life do rather than your skills. Which is why the world's billionaires can be school dropouts but everyone else will try that path and be doomed. Which is why you will see a B.Sc holder get a great job and go on to have a great career over a PhD holder who has better contacts. Fact. HR people are trained to look past your degrees and look at what you can deliver.

Anyhoo, Jon goes to battle, gets played by Ramsey, loses more than half his men and is about to die. At the most crucial moment, Littlefinger and the Knights of the Vale sweep in and save Jon's ar.se from being captured, killed or tortured. And Jon ends up winning. Littlefinger did not cut an alliance with Jon, he did it with Sansa. The woman who knew nothing about battle strategy saved them all. When Jon confronts her, she explains and do you know what he did? He kissed her gently on the forehead and told her softly "next time, tell me. We are in this together, we have to be united."

Do you know how many husbands have made the error of not listening to their wives, their wives go behind their backs or do something they don't like to save them, they are saved, but then focus on the fact that the wife DISOBEYED rather than SAVED him and they beat/punish/emotionally destroy their wives? It becomes a matter of Ego, like "how dare she?!" instead of looking at the big picture "thank God she did it!". They become merciless and view it as her wanting to be the Boss™, and it is finished for her. She is "a feminist, uncontrolled, acting like a man, challenging, unsubmissive, a threat, evil, most likely to kill him" etc. They punish her for doing what God intended her to do in his life: save him when he cannot see the danger he is about to fall into.

Look at the Bible, do you know how many influential wives are in it? Every book is filled with a story of an influential wife from the bad (Jezebel) to the good (Abigail). If God wanted men to marry people just like them, gay marriage would be endorsed in the Bible. Even the toughest of women will melt like a snowflake for the right man, because she is designed to help him, love and rescue him, his job is to protect her. No where in the Bible does it say the primary duties of a wife are physical: cook, clean, have kids, bang him. Her duties are emotional and spiritual, which is why he is to honor and cherish her, so she can trust him enough to fight his emotional and spiritual battles. How can you get the full protection of your woman when you never listen to her and when she is forced to take matters into her hand, you punish her for being correct because it made you feel less like a man.

Jon Snow become a leader of the Night's Watch at a young age and was totally unprepared. He didn't know what to do. But he always stayed on the mission he was given. He always listened to Maester Aemon. He made unpopular choices like letting wildings in (some of his people revolted and killed him). But he did it for the greater good and explained. They didn't accept. Some did sha.

I see husbands, big issues come up and the next thing to do is to be avoiding their homes, pursuing women outside and hanging out late. Anything to avoid having to face the truth that they are overwhelmed. Then they listen to their peers, not someone who is a seasoned and trusted adviser. A lot of men avoid their seasoned advisers because the advisers tend to tell them the truth. When issues come up, focus on the longterm
And if you have to take an unpopular choice, explain to your wife. Explain to your wife, don't say "I am the Head of this House/Lion of the jungle of mediocre Ajegunle/whatever chest-beating title you like", frigging explain to your wife. She may not like it but she will appreciate that you respected her to explain. As for those who will try and stab you behind your back, cut them off. Shikena.

Men are supposed to be leaders. But absolutely no-one teaches them responsibility and how to lead (just look at our leaders in government) so they get married with wrong notions and bad behaviors, reinforce it amongst their friends and only 5% of Marriages end up happy. This is true in any part of the world. So, let me give you an idea of what a good leader looks like. And I will use a popular character on a popular TV show.

Gentlemen, may I introduce Jon Snow of Game Of Thrones?

Jon started life in a good family but with strikes against him. The mother of the house hated him and hoped he will die. She was not a wicked woman, she and everyone were told Jon was the product of her husband's cheating. Even though she stayed with her husband and loved him and had more kids with him, Catlin Stark hated Jon to the point of unreason.

Dear men, cheating DOES matter. It doesn't matter if she is smiling at you now, by cheating you have broken her. A lot of women don't forgive because they love their husbands, they forgive because they don't want to be divorcees in a society that will judge them and reward the sinner. It is human nature to let anger, pain and sorrow flow, and it MUST flow out. Which is why you see a lot of guys say "my dad put my mum through hell, she stuck with him and they are happy". Look at their lives: the kids in the marriage are strangely having all sorts of emotional problems later in life. If cheating had no repercussions, the Bible wouldn't condemn Adultery. Jesus never ever said Polygamy was good (sorry, guys who use old testament as an excuse, you are Christians, not Jews. The old laws don't apply to you).

There is no such thing as a Nice Man or a Nice Woman. Those are the most manipulative people in the whole world. Any woman married to them will suffer like she is married to a chronic womanizer. He will forever be playing the Victim card outside whilst killing her inwardly.

Women don't want men that control them, they want men that can take charge when need be. When the marriage is failing, they want a man who tells her "I love you, please whatever you need me to do to fix this, I will do willingly. I am going nowhere". When the finances are bad, a good man comes home, eats Garri happily and praises his wife for her ability to soak Garri well for him. When issues come outside, a good man will call his wife, ask for her opinion and then say "alright I've heard you, decision making time".

If good men like that existed, he will never need to marry a woman he can control. She will willingly submit to him, infact the way she will adore him will scare even his mother. Age has nothing to do with it, one of the youngest guys in my class was the one who ended up with the best marriage. The way he adores his wife, every woman is so envious of her. And she reciprocates with love and submission. Easily and freely. Almost all the good marriages in my class were to young guys, who had one thing in common: a deep abiding love for their wives and a healthy relationship with God (not the nonsense you see paraded upandan like pure water). When you gave a good relationship with God, people will want to follow you to church without asking. If you are speaking in tongues and skabashing and not one of your friends openly says "guy, invite me" then your life is not beautiful and does not reflect God. These Youngs guys, they went to like 2 churches in Lagos and those churches, I respect them. No noise, no frills, no televised "Anointing" service, no calling anyone "Daddy in the Lord". Just pure love of God.


Instead you have men thinking they need to break a woman's spirit like that of a stubborn goat. Worn out and defeated, she accepts it and he spends the rest of his life wondering why she is so dull and chasing outside what he destroyed with his own hands, in his own home. Then you have those that are out of control in their personal lives, their wives react and immediately they accuse her of being "headstrong and uncontrollable".

If you want to marry a Proverbs 31 wife, be the 1 Peter 3:7 husband. You will enjoy. People, please stop ignoring the parts of God's word that doesn't conform to your selfish nature.

ipobbigot7:
After marriage.

Please women need to be commended for giving more in a relationship, while we should stop looking for every opportunity to castrate them on what men will easily get away with.

If the woman in question is called on, you will find that she equally have reasons to be suspicious of the man but she's rather focus on moving forward.

I have a question: would you have been gracious and understanding to your wife if you found out she cheated once, since you had cheated several times and she kept forgiving you. I mean, you would forgive her right, since she has shown you such love and forgiveness in your moments of selfishness and cruelty to her and your kids.

modath:
Alaba or westminster (if you are in Lagos)

As for bottles turning pink... your washing & sterilizing game needs to be on point.... Read resources online to clear any doubt.


https://www.nairaland.com/3822890/brand-new-box-samsung-galaxy

Hello Hot Mum. How are you

Thank you for always checking in on me

FemiFemola:
You people just keep making someone scared of marriage.

You should be. I wouldn't advise the Commitment. 90% of people are not ready for it. Too many people are there for the obligation and responsibilities, not for the other person in it. If I knew what I know now about Marriage before, I'd have stuck to my original plan of just having kids without having to marry some guy. Hindsight is 20/20 and what's worse, 90% of the married posters here feel like this. They just won't tell you because Misery likes company.

natznext:
Can we talk business about this?,

Explain what you have in mind please

.

keepingmum:
Pre-eclampsia is a VERY SERIOUS life threatening ailment that poses a significant risk to the life of mother and baby therefore should be attended to with urgency.
Keeping a patient with Pre-eclampsia for more than 24hrs without treatment (most likely CS) is tantamount to manslaughter! !! Most definitely negligence and in my world, you will not only loose your medical licence to practice, you ll also be looking at a referral to the CPS for criminal charges.
Maternal mortality is very high in Nigeria and a large contributing factor is negligence and the itk/inability to listen to patients by doctors/nurses as well as the ability to learn from mistakes AND the stupid risks that doctors often take with patients lives
Nigerian doctors/nurses are arrogant, unwilling to learn nor listen and like to play god over someone's life.

Unfortunately, a lot of Nigerian women refuse to consent to CS, even after they have been told it could save their lives. One told my sibling "my pastor and I and my husband have been praying, please give it more time". Luckily a nurse was the neighbour to her mum (a retired nurse) so they called the mum and she got on the phone and cussed out her daughter, her husband and the useless pastor till crying, the lady agreed to the CS. Had she died, her husband will wail "Naija Dr's killed my wife and pikin". Her mum employed the entire dictionary of Yoruba swear words and curses to get it through her daughter's thick skull the gravity of her situation.
You have never had to leave a delivery room because your hand was itching to slap the mor.on defiantly refusing CS and praying for a miracle whilst losing valuable time.
Nigerians will tell you they don't have money to pay for antenatal before 6 months so they will use one "neighborhood nurse/maternity clinic" but they have budgeted money for the Naming Ceremony afterwards. When things go bad and they are rushed to GH or LUTH, it remains to blame Doctors. There was even one popular case on this NL where they blamed Dr's and I found out the truth, it was the lady's negligence (which is why I can never donate any money again). See the blame her family were heaping on the Dr's in an attempt to garner sympathy and money for her, when they knew she messed up. When I asked her supporters, they backtracked on the Medical Negligence angle quickly.

Jupiter7:
Hello everyone, I'm so glad to find this forum on nairaland!

I'm a mum to be by October this year. I'm hoping to give birth in the US precisely in New Jersey because I know only one person who resides there only as a student. I'm a US citizen but it has been donkey years since I visited the states, so I don't know what the birthing process is like. Thankfully my passport is still valid. I don't know which hospital to use, what the financial cost will be, how soon I should travel, and what challenges/barrier I may encounter. Pls any help will be appreciated, thanks.

You need to look up NJ state laws concerning Medicaid and Medicare. I don't think you qualify though, as you're not a resident of the state. Some states are more liberal about what makes you a resident (e.g. Ohio may give you some hassles compared to Maryland or California. And forget Texas or any southern state). And the marketplace insurance is such that it's tricky to buy since you have no income stateside (though you have passed this year's deadline, your pregnancy qualifies as an urgent position). But the problem then becomes if you can find a Dr who accepts Medicaid. So, go look up New Jersey Healthcare laws and decide from there. It may end up being easier to pay out-of-pocket costs (some things are covered for you depending on the state). Self-pay is cheaper and easier to bill than using insurance and they give them discounts (which is one of the reasons Americans hate birth tourism (foreigners will pay rather than lose their visa, meanwhile insurance coys will negotiate the bill down before paying).

However,once you buy your ticket, no-one will stop you at Border Control since you are a citizen (they may ask how long you've been out of the country but as long as your name doesn't sound Muslim, you should be fine). You don't even have to fill out Customs Declaration forms on the plane. Just use one of the self-service machines and go grab your bags. Probably try to get your DL from the DMV.

gustavo440:
hello onegai, if i am buying a hemp or bamboo insert will i be needing a snappi fastener? is it just for cotton prefolds? thanks

You're correct, the snappi is for the cotton prefolds.

To everyone encouraging Hotmum to get a young child to be a nanny, because you are all afraid that 19 years old will snatch your husband, wehdone.

My sister and her friend refused to have a friend's nanny in their homes because she was exactly your girl, age 13, a mess domestically, kept wanting to watch the 6 and 7 year old boys bathe and wanting to be with them rather than older nannies or female babies. She touched her female charge's n.ipples in the name of "play" (a common occurrence I have seen, especially in lower-income environments with less privacy, they will kiss your child on the bare chest, handle his/her body and bum and get offended when one say "stop", because all na "play and affection" ) and scribbled "I love John" on every surface. Even though her mum was protesting her innocence, we found out later "John" was her mum's bf and had started sleeping with both mother and daughter, at an early age. So her mum sent her away so they won't be fighting over Man. But told everyone it was for her future.

That was the last case I saw last year. For over 15 years, I can testify to a large number of Abusers being young girls (they are victims themselves). Nigeria's problem with Se.xual Molestation is as bad as India's problem with Rape, just that it is underreported here. But speak to doctors and nurses, your eyes will clear. It is very common to hear of se.xual abuse cases of children inflicting it on other children.

Fear of being unable to handle your husband will leave your child open to abuse. You don't realize that by the time your husband is banging the maid, he is lost to all propriety and has probably slept with all of Lagos and their sister. At that point, he is of no use to you.

tatacherie:
Hello wamby, pls why are you shutting down your Facebook handle? That's sad..just got the msg today.was actually preparing to post pics of my little one on d product

It's okay, you can post it here

Iyomomoreloaded, I know UBTH quite well school of frustration

Nimi22:
Well I'm sure the doc knows why he didn't do it really cos it's even a GH.

Then that means they can do it but they don't want to. Doctors never explain the situation well to patients. Then patients will blame them and the doctor will get defensive. It's very annoying.

Nimi22:
Iyomomoreloaded and onegai I don't even know who to blame sometimes. I was in the hospital today when I heard some nurses discussing of how Dr...... refused to perform cs on a woman last week and now the woman is back on emergency won't he do it? Not long afterwards the doc came in and met the nurses still discussing him he behaved oblivious to the situation on ground which means he still hasn't done the surgery. In the case of that woman what really can someone do cos from all indications she is ready for this surgery it's d doc that is behaving non challant about it. God should just help someone. Healthcare in Nigeria is a very big issue with everyone holding his own share of the blame.

It's a multiple issue problem. Let me use me as example. My hospital has a superstar consultant OB-GYN, however he only sees me if something is wrong and I am usually left to his Residents' care. So I came online and decided to check this thread once and people were talking about antimalarial and tetanus shot. I was like "that's true o, I haven't collected it". So off I went to my hospital to get it. Later on, was gifting with the family and mentioned it. And everyone immediately started asking me "who the f$&! gave you tetanus, you took it 2 years ago and it covers for 5years,why did you risk taking the shot now??". I started sweating and rushed back to my hospital and the residents were like "yah, you don't need tetanus but if we don't give you, you will go and complain outside that we don't know what we are doing. Same as ultrasounds, you don't need most of them but when we only did 3, pregnant Mums kept complaining that we didn't know what we were doing so now we just do it nyafu-nyafu for us to get peace of mind". Plus, they get to charge you/HMO more... #PrivateHospitalWahala

Based on my story, I'm pretty sure the Dr knows why he doesn't want to do the CS. Maybe it is too dangerous for her (CS is surgery, all surgery is risky), maybe they don't have her blood type on hand, maybe he cannot do it because he doesn't know how (or it is a private hospital and he is "managing" the situation until things get critical and she will end up rushed to a Teaching Hopsital or GH. This unfortunately does happen). But the Dr will never tell the nurses why (ego) and he won't explain to the patient very well either. That is why I would recommend her going to a GH now and getting a 2nd opinion. If she cannot get an explanation which makes sense, let her do the needful and save herself.

Benignasweety:
lol, I wish...... well all dix ur gele and everything is not compulsory nah... As a mom who has experienced neonatal loss and itz bang of pains, if I get moni, I for even go for 200k or more costly hospitals jex to make sure everything ends well.... But as I no get, am asking for d one arnd dat 30k, sometin we can afford with sweat o... Am channelling my little savings to scan sha at 1500 to atleast make sure things are alryt.

In another note, my 36weeker is weighing 3.3kg today....

Then plan well. Do you have enough for blood bank? Expensive hospital doesn't mean shi-shi, good doctors matter. And biko ask those questions, even at GH. ISLAND maternity can handle neonatal issues. I can tell you GH is not very clean, they may not have enough incubators, your husband will have to donate blood (and if you are like me, with a rare blood group please locate a donor who doesn't smoke, and beg the person to be close to their phone for the next 4 weeks). Me, I have realized to plan is to succeed. You only need 3 scans unless you are high risk. Please have your hospital bag packed.

Brb

Elixir123:
Oh my!@onegai that was one bloody,flesh cringing exposé on LUTH.
And to think my brother is practically begging them to allow him intern,even paying .
Health care in this country *sigh

It's annoying how one cannot get a posting but yet Nigeria has a shortage of doctors... He should go there, he will meet a lot of great doctors and if he's smart, he will learn all the tricks and shortcuts they know (my siblings ran and became talented and Professors outside Nigeria and can come back like awon big boys and girls and nobody will misyarn to them). And truly, nothing like a Public health trained Naija Dr (that's why they become superstars abroad).

For those asking about LUTH, let me try and explain a bit, with insider gist (I can't remember your monikers sorry, everything is exhausting nowadays )

LUTH and most General Hospitals have 2 problems:

1. Corruption and Poor Management: The CMDs have chopped, heads of departments have chopped, almost everyone has a idea gig going on. So the monies govt have poured into that place for decades, has been used to fund their lifestyles. They lack a lot of functioning equipment and even when they do get new equipment, no-one to train them how to use it. Once, a multinational coy wanted to make a donation of incubators, the heads said they would collect 5 for their personal clinics, the company said no and LUTH 'suddenly" decided that they will only allow the company fund the purchase and not donate the machines (you must play ball or walk away). They are constantly having strike issues and JOHESU staff is the one in charge of their supplies (so you can go there and there are Dr's on ground but the guy/nurse with the key to the Oxygen cabinet is no-where in sight). LUTH is also notorious for having very lax medical students (compared to UBTH and UCH, where the medical students are so frustrated that they tend to have quite a few hushed-up suicides). My siblings taught my classmates and said years ago, LUTH should have lost its accreditation to train surgeons and that half of my classmates were so unserious and never wanted to study (all my classmates disliked them enormously and only one was honest enough to admit my relatives were right). Their students are now your doctors.

Healthcare is not cheap in any part of the world (come to the US pregnant as a citizen. You will appreciate being able to find N30, 000 antenatal in Nigeria. Even with insurance). Our medical staff are so underpaid that I will help process visa for any Doctor graduating. With all these internal wahala, it can be a bad place...

However, you cannot become a consultant unless you pass through a Teaching Hospital so in LUTH you get some of the best doctors in Nigeria. Unfortunately in Nigeria, even though we do NOT have enough doctors, getting a Residency posting is like trying to get a job in FIRS and NIMASA. And any sane doctor who wishes to progress is fleeing Nigeria.

2. All hospitals in Nigeria have a Nigerian Patient Factor. Whereby Nigerian patients do NOT PRIORITIZE THEIR OWN HEALTH AND EXPECT TO BE RUSHED AT THE LAST MINUTE TO LUTH/TEACHING HOSPITAL AND A MIRACLE WILL OCCUR. A man had a mild heart attack declared he was fine, his family took him to their dr, then to RCCG for prayers and he went home. A week later, he had the big one. First, there are no ambulances and people don't know First Aid, so they were shrieking prayers over him and pouring cold water on him. 40 mins later, he got to the hospital. And were transferring their grief onto my sibling and telling him he was a bad doctor for not saving their father's life. If you know the hot, angry words my sibling gave them...
I have seen one of my siblings get beat up by some animals because they were told to go to blood bank and get Rhesus-negative blood and the blood bank didn't have, he couldn't do a transfusion and the relatives said he was being negligent (biko what is he to do, turn water into blood/wine??)
I have heard of some crazy pregnant lady's husband who was told this same issue with blood donation and took it up by grabbing the collar of another sibling and shake him up. Unfortunately for that man, that other sibling is a crazy mo'fvcker and that woman recovered with her newborn and saw her husband, humbled and contrite, with a black eye.
One of our family friends had a sign in his office: "my name is...., not Jesus. LUTH is a hospital, not a mortuary. Stop bringing your dead bodies here and expecting a miracle".
And oh, patients sneaking away without paying bills...
How many of us know our entire medical history, how many of us know our Blood group, that of our husbands and children? How many of us come to Nairaland to ask about medications and treatment and how many of us know that children are susceptible to Cerebral Malaria, worse than regular malaria and it is best treated by a Dr and not the pharmacist they went to?

How do you now expect the medical staff at teaching hospitals and Govt hospitals to perform miracles when you didn't even do the little you could do...

Please, mothers, do your part. Don't go to hospital without your brains (I am told this constantly by my siblings). Know your medical vitals and records. I have informed Consultant OB-GYN in Nigeria and in the US that I need a Rhogam shot, I didn't wait for them to find out themselves. You only have one life, please, please make it easy to save your own life. Do your part, let God meet you more than halfway. Please.

The end.

Oya, let me run away again

PS: be nice to your labor room nurses. They are the ones who will spend the most time with you, in labor. Afterwards, feel free to send a bowl of rice and chicken to them as thanks. Or even N500 recharge card for like, 3 nurses. It will surprise you how much nicer they will be. Don't give money, give a small gift. Even to private nurses. Even outside Nigeria, they encourage you to do so.

Benignasweety:
Ma, all diz u listed are d bomb and wat I sincerely do look out for, but for all d qualities, it must cost a fortune!
Does General hospitals offer all dix atleast for a price of 30k for delivery?

A fortune is nothing when you realise Nigeria has a very high maternal mortality rate. Count it all joy that most of the mothers here are coming back to give happy testimonials and don't assume it is the norm.

And as for that N30, 000, please let us calculate the cost of your Baby's Naming Ceremony/Dedication. Let's see:
Makeup/Gele N5, 000
Maybe you will sew new lace for you and your hubby: N12, 000
Photography: N10, 000
Gift for the church: N5, 000
Food, cake and drinks: etcetera

Easily above N30, 000. But you will spend it more willingly. So which is important, a good hospital or a nice party? The choice is yours, ma.

Hotmum,

1. Get a clear passport photo of her and do a full blood work, HIV, Hepatitis etc

2. Define boundaries. No phones during work hours and no fraternising with the neighbours on your time. No weird dressing or she wears a uniform.

3. Feeding her on outing trips doesn't mean you treat her like a sister. It means you treat her like a human being. Which is important, because she's looking after your kids. She should always eat what you eat, be it eba at home or suya outside.

4. Discuss salary and provisions. Are you paying for her toiletries? If so, will it be deducted from her monthly paycheck? Does she get part of her salary monthly to take care of her needs or will you provide them (hair styling, toiletries etc).

5. Does she get off days?

6. No sleeping with the kids. She can bathe them but let her have her nighttime to herself (to call her bobo, whom she will deny having, her family, her friends, relax, etc).

7. Define all duties and enforce boundaries. You may relax and she will relax too. And stop all this "I treat this random stranger like my sister", do you fight with her, beg her for jewelry (which she has rocked tire and then gives you, grudgingly), sometimes gossip with her, sometimes put up with her excessive demands, call her at 4am to fight over "Why didn't you reply that email, whose side are you on?!!", tell her to pray for your husband and your finances, ask for advice in not killing your husband etc. Do you do all that with your maid or nanny? Because that's how my sisters and I work so my nanny is most definitely not my sister and I don't take her as such. What I do is to treat her like an employee, decent and as fair as possible. She eats what I cook and once in a while I can be generous with stuff, if I have it (I got her good brands of shampoo and conditioner because she didn't want to spend her money and I understand where I live, things are not cheap enough for her to get from her salary).

8. Discuss clearly how long she's staying. Is she leaving for Christmas (so you can plan).

9. I will never do relatives in my house to help me. Sorry but No. Nada. Nyet. Ehn Ehn. Mbaa (someone add the Yoruba word for "No". Because if that goes bad, it does reaalllllyyyy bad. From stealing (because they hate being the poor relative in your home) to interference (where they call every relative to give them updates of how you and your husband fought and what a horror-show you are, even if the fight lasted 10 mins, they will paint it as 1 hour and fighting daily) to grudges (you traveled abroad for business, bought 2 dresses for your child and bought only 1 dress for them, you are evil and her mother back home will be waiting for an opportunity to strike because of the perceived "injustice", no-one cares that you went abroad with limited funds to do business that will feed the family), not worth it in my book. I can't walk on eggshells around my home because I'm scared what someone's mum will say. Especially when it is your in-law. Oh boy...

Sense8 season 2.

I am still confused about Jonas and Angelica (why did she eventually side with Milton/Whispers? And I don't trust how they kept Jonas alive).

Why did they shoot that hot Korean inspector, he berra live!

And I am so shipping Kala and Wolfgang!! C'mon, let them live and make little intelligent Gangster Scientist babies.

I loved that scene at the end in the police truck when they all held Sun.

Waiting for Season 2 of Westworld and GOT

So, this is 2017....and a lot has changed!

Dollar went from N184 to N520 to N390. Very important.

Remember how you couldn't wait to buy baby stuff, especially those super cute gender clothes (pink and blue)? Sooo adorable...and so expensive, especially if it's your first baby.
Buy precisely 5 gendered outfits for your newborn, 0-3 months. That's all you need. Seriously, how many times do you think you will go out in the first month after birth (you will be shattered emotionally and so much is overwhelming, take that time to get used to being a mum/dad). Every other outfit should be white, Grey, orange and yellow. I did that and Baby no 2 has enough clothes at home without having to shop. Which I am grateful for, because prices are not what they used to be and money is tight.
Same with older clothes: stay-at-home should be mostly white onesies and pajamas, keep those cute patterned or graphic gender onesies for later. It may be hard emotionally, but your future finances will thank you.

Same with towels, baby blanket, cup, spoon, combs, pajamas, carseat, anything that comes on options Pink, Blue or White, your choice should be White.

Remember, school (clap) fees (clap) isn't (clap) cheap.

Trish102:
@spiceeamiee I read u stay around ago palace way, I just moved in there as well. please which hospital are u using for ur antenatal.I want to check out some hospital so I can start my antenatal. Mamas in the house I will appreciate if u can advise me on hospital to use . Thank you

Please get one 30 minutes away from you. Ago Palace Way to Festac is way over 45 minutes. You do not wish to go far in case of an emergency. No hospital should be more than 30 mins away from you, Nigeria does not have working ambulances.

Emel is good, as they have a Consultant Gynae and used to have a Professor of Gynecology.

To pick a good hospital, don't look at cost alone, look at

1. Hygiene. Do they have hand sanitizers everywhere and wash hands often? You don't want a baby exposed to all sorts of things like opportunistic infections. Especially newborns.
2. Staff. Are their nurses auxiliary nurses? Whom is their dr and their CMD? I looked my doctors up online and made enquiries (there are ways to check) so I knew whom I was dealing with (can be a neglectful ass but he is an overqualified ass who knows his onions). When you go there, who attends, Resident or new out-of-Med-school (who may get flustered with an emergency).
3. Emergency services. Do they have an operating theatre, can they do emergency CS and stabilize a patient? Private hospitals are rarely fully staffed but the better the CMD, the faster he/she can call an OB, surgeon and great staff to his hospital to perform surgery on a patient.
4. NICU. Can the hospital handle premature babies? Do they have working Phototherapy machines (because I have heard "please the patient has to go to another hospital because we don't have phototherapy bed/light bulb to treat" ). Is the hospital equipped to stabilize your baby and rush them to a bigger hospital if they need surgery?
5. Blood bank. How far is it from the hospital and how well-stocked is it?
6. Distance. How far is this place from me because my water could break, my labour can progress faster than jack Robinson and I really don't need to be in traffic (especially now that raining season has started) crying in a car.

That is how I picked my hospitals, by asking those questions. It's usually blood bank they fail at being close but they pass other things. So I'm not too worried and Dr staff are usually impressed that I did my homework and I'm asking them the right questions. Anybody that gets angry I'm asking if you can save the life of me and my baby during an emergency, thanks but no need to continue using them. HTH.

By the way, after you register, if you are a low-risk patient, they won't be carrying you like a raw egg. Infact the OB (consultant or not) won't show up until 20mins to you're ready to push. The nurses will be in charge. So yeah, super important to codedly ask the nurses "What school did you go, my cousin wants to attend Nursing school". Because a lot of mushroom clinics hire auxiliary nurses and pass them off as more than their qualifications and when you find out is when they cannot handle an emergency and keep calling Dr (always happens at night).