₦airaland Forum

I have read that sometimes it's the foot that your machine has that could be the problem. But I'll call in a few experienced tailors. Cc tatacherie, alphahandmaiden

AlphaHandMaiden:
If the decision is for her mum to leave she should be the one to mention it to her mum.

These matters can be very sensitive and can be mis-interpreted, even when said with the most polite of ways. we all know many men are a liiiittle bit more direct in their approach and speaking. if it comes from the hubby, it may just end up as " my in-law drove me out of the house".

She knows her mum better and likely to use the right words.

Well, that would be more appropriate but this is Nigeria, where Husband and his family have more say in marital home than Wife and family. Reading Family section taught me that.
Besides, her mum is going to not take it well if she says it (no nice way to say "please leave, I prefer my MIL". That is how feuds and all sorts of drama start). But if a husband says "my mum is coming", (not a word uttered about her leaving) politely, mama will jejely go. Especially if they have no space and mama will not want to be outshone.
Reasonableness sometimes isn't the best way to attack a situation, no need looking for trouble when you have the excuse of Cultural precedent to take advantage of. Sometimes, I go "oh Grand Mama, tis not I whom made such suggestion but mine husband" and she will mellow and see the reasonable thought behind the words, rather than if I said it and she hears it through the mouthpiece of someone she spent some years thinking was most immature and that she wiped my ars.e and gave me biscuit to shut me up (like all parents do).

Yesitsme, tell her "please I need more help", or even better, let your MIL, start coming. Let your husband tell your mum "thank you soo much for your help but my mum is coming next week because she cannot wait for her turn to play Grandma". Let it be said firmly with a smile. Your husband can ask Mama politely to leave. Postnatal Depression is real and can be aggravated by people, blood or not.

My mum did a lot of work (at almost 70!) and so did my MIL. The Grand Mama is tough so she drove me up the wall and my MIL actually wanted me to leave the baby more with her (she felt I was running too quick to the cries assuming she couldn't handle things). I have a picture of MIL kneeling with a 3 month old strapped to her back at 2 am.

OP's child has already graduated to Primary school by now.

Everyone look at their child and start at whatever age is right for Them. It doesn't matter the age if at the end of the day, you the parent are not sitting with them to improve on the little they learn in school. Lesson teachers at age 6 is a sign of parents not giving their kids enough time. Age 8 in JSS 1 is not a sign of intelligence, look at Nigeria and show me the innovation and creative thinking that is a better sign that starting school that early paid off. Not first class that still doesn't know much compared to peers abroad.

Personally, I would never start my child in school before the age of 2. The school systems with the best education start at 4, and to be honest, Nigerians are poorly educated. It is not enough to cram "2 times table", you must know its application in real life. So the comments of "my 4 month old is in Nursery 1", not impressed. Because Creative Thinking, Logic and Reasoning, Critical Thinking is not valued in Nigerian Educational system. So at the end of the day, they are still behind their peers in Finland.

My 21 month old can identify shapes, numbers, colours, some alphabets and has a good pencil grip and writes. Reasonably socialized as well and knows animal sounds and names. Knows what books are and will bring hers to me to read (usually pushing my phone out of the way to do so ), knows her nursery songs and sings them. She will have access to good Arts, Science, Music and History programs because of her parents (she's already gone to see a live turtle exhibit). We could do better with eating but her favorite foods are fruits, not Caprison. She doesn't attend school, that was all me and daddy. We know that the educational system here has too many deficits to leave her education to the hands of people who are opening schools for profit and teachers teaching for a salary to survive, not for passion. We want her to think outside the box and see the applications of "2x2" and not just recite it and pat her on the back and call her "brilliant and intelligent".

Yemi1261, in addition to going to a teaching hospital or even Yaba Psychiatric Hospital (I know some of the consultants there and I'm sure there is a Pediatric Psychologist on their team. There is no shame in this please), please please Please listen to shaybebaby. Because her boy is just like yours and you need all the help you can get and she is handling it successfully and her son is thriving. Not all this "pray this, pray that" from people who don't know the challenges of having a special needs child. Your son will be fine in Jesus' name and have a lovely unique life. But you need to start thinking on a higher smarter plane.

There is a Chinese version being sold in Nigeria for N3200. Please, the original Sophie Vulli is made only in France with very safe BPA-free plastics and hand painted with food grade paints. That is what makes it safe for babies. The Chinese one is made with random plastic (most likely laced with heavy metals like cheap plastic usually is, even pure water sachet is not safe) and the paints are synthetic. So buy at your own discretion (there are other teething toys that are safe and it's not like your baby will miss your N12, 000 plus Vulli Sophie whilst you bawl and ask hotel staff "una don see wan giraffe lyke dat??"

I really don't like seeing when our people go and get the cheap version/made for Africa version, of something safe and pass it on to consumers, all for profit. Things like feeding bottles, teats, creams, mens and co, manage the Western version. Cheap gets expensive in the long run and so many issues happen with it, so many health concerns. See what's happening with Coca-Cola. And so many companies do the same, the refined imported fuel sold here that we breathe in daily and cough out is banned in EU (because it's poor quality). The safety levels applied To African products are non existent. No-one cares about Africa's health, we are expendable and resources are scarce.

In this economy, minus 4 mouths to feed, dude you should meet up with Pastor and shake his hand warmly for being so good to you! #GlassHalfFull #BrightSideOfThings

AlphaHandMaiden:
My selection of teehers/ teething rings.

Personal favourite is "sophie" the giraffe. It comes in 2 styles the other one is much bigger but my dd started teething very early and this version was much easier to hold.

The yellow and orange ring one came as a 2 part cannot find the other one.

The green and white one is filled with fluid and you can put in the fridge as the fluid retains the cold for longer more than the other ones. It may just be this brand bought we thought it a bit hard and myDH didnt trust it not to leak and dd swallowing the fluid So we never really used this one much but read good reviews anout this style of teethers online.

The elephant one..... welll its good but for a younger child i couldnt work out how to sterilize it because of the fabric so that is my only gripe with that one so i never used it much in he early days.

Sophie the Giraffe can grow mold in it (insane parents cut some up) and the manufacturer had to announce that you are not supposed to put it in water. Plus some weird babies choked on theirs (my brother says "kids whom evolution has deemed unworthy because how dumb is that kid?!" ). Also, when you lose Sophie at Radisson Blu and you are crying and mention how much it costs, more experienced parents will insult you for being daft enough to spend that much on a #$@! Teething toy and your mother will tippex your name out of her will. And your younger kids will forever hate your firstborn because Mummy spent so much on a teething toy and on Aden & Anais blankets and all the lastborn got was a fairly used tricycle from Idumota and old wrapper to nibble on.

Just talking theoretically.... Not like I did that or lost any thing... Nothing to see here, move along...

Comtem2011, it's good to see you. How's your little boy?

holocron:
Not modern day Egyptians! Those are arabs who displaced the original inhabitants.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/DNA_history_of_Egypt

Their DNA has been studied. Arabs invasion accounts for 10% of modern Egyptian DNA. They are still mostly berbers and co, more related to Libyans and co, desert-dwellers (Tuaregs in Niger are light skinned too), more than dark skinned African.

Explorers:
I learnt Israelites spent about 400yrs of slavery in Egypt.

During this period, lots of Pharaohs have ruled.

But according to ask&quora, i learnt moses approached Pharaoh Thutmose III 'let my people go'.

Not so sure it was Thutmose, I saw on Discovery Channel that Rameses III was the Pharaoh (he ruled the longest).

abagworo, Pharoahs looks was determined by which era. Early Egyptian or Late Egyptian. Rameses I, II, III, Thutmose, Nefertiti, Hapshepsut (long ruling queen), Akenatan etc would look like modern day Egyptians, Ethiopians, Eritrean,Sudanese and co. Later Pharoahs like Cleopatra and Ptolemy were Greeks and would look like dark skinned Europeans.

Went for a couple of exhibits about all of them so some stuff stuck.

Jadeite, start saving up slowly and pick a date and country you want to go to. Egypt will be cheaper but England has good museums too. No dream is too far away if you plan and make sacrifices (no buying expensive phones when you can put it in an account for a plane ticket)

Nigerians have no statues because they keep destroying them in the name of religious fervour. Some MFM pastor burnt her husband's 200 year old ancestral family masks rather than donate them to a museum. No-one wanted to speak to me the day I got a slightly old Bini bell (not up to 100 years sef but probably used in worship). That 100 large clay pot unearthed in the North last year was destroyed overnight because the natives said it was built to hold a "Jinn" (wicked spirit). Why not donate it to a museum let the spirit disturb them and you get paid to get rid of your spirit, ehh? Nigeria's biggest private collector is treated like a Juju worshipper for trying to keep most of her artifacts belonging to Nigerian hands rather than to eager foreigners.

Sugah, knock at her gate and put on your best deprecating smile (that half smile, half grimace that looks awkward, like you want to apologise) and say "hello, I've seen you around, congrats by the way, these are some of the things my baby used and I wondered if I could SHARE/OFFER (do not use the word "Give" ) some diapers and formula with you. My son just messed up and never drank them. Would you care for it?"

Max, she will say "No". Nigerians and their silly pride about these issues. Never realising that acting like you're too good to for some stuff makes people NOT give you anything later.

Just realised, this is Nigeria: the religious angle will come into play and she may refuse it because "her pastor has given a prophecy about an upcoming demonic attack in the form of gifts from a stranger". I'm exaggerating but it does happen.

AlphaHandMaiden:
Oh wow.... not even close....

I actually work in the Building Construction/Engineering Consultancy industry lol!

i wont mind the stay at home wife oh..... just praying Alphahubby becomes CBN Governor so i can retire...lol!

Very short-sighted of you! CBN Governor is like 3 or 4 years' term, is that enough to cover school fees till 24?? Better join me as I learn my language and Himself's own, visit the homeland and aim to run for Senate or HOR permanent position for at least 10 years and no-one will be taking your name to babalawo Everytime dollar rises. See Remi Tinubu nah!

modath:
If i were her, I'd let my "past taxes" cater for medicaid bill.. A USC is eligible anyday..


How are you & lil princess? Missionary 2 loading?

We are fine o. How are you guys?

She actually wouldn't mind giving up her citizenship set for an EU country, she and her hubby. He doesn't even want a green card. They are trying for Australia or NZ. They lost a first child so now their mindset has changed.

So is anyone up for another crafty tutorial?

twoods, can a U.S. expat self-pay? my cousin is due and she has been making calls. We tried to get Marketplace Insurance for her but once they hear she is a USC with no income in the U.S., she is turned down and told she is eligible for low income Medicaid (she's a housewife/small scale business owner in Nigeria due to a few conditions). She would rather stay in Nigeria and file after birth but checked quite a lot of laws and it seems sensible to go abroad.

she's paid taxes in the past as a low income earner.

tatacherie:
Thanks a lot ma'am.
Pls I couldnt find any reasonable stuff related to ruff n tumble on Google, kindly put me tru,it sounds interesting already..

Ruff n Tumble is a children's shop, please look them up online.

beqs101:
As for the rape, i wouldn't want to go into so much details here and we're trying all we can to take the necessary actions against the rapist.

All we're concerned about now is how to take care of the baby when he/she is born by looking for ways to manage the situation.

I think, since you all feel this way NOW, it's best to plan to put the baby up for adoption. It would be bad to grudgingly keep this child and bring it up because of "what will people say?". Adoption sometimes is a loving choice (compared to dumping the baby in a soakaway). And I believe I know 2 people, both male, one a teen and another a man almost in his 40s, who are glad till tomorrow they got adopted. I know a lady who immediately upon seeing her new little brother, swore to forever love him (even got his name tattooed on her), and that kid is crazy about his big sis now.

Remember, all these people saying "how can you give up your flesh and blood", piling on guilt, will move on with their lives (by Sunday they will not even recall to enquire about your pregnant teenager) and not be there for school fees, childish rebellions and frustrations which will one day make you in anger think "you that no-one wanted!" (And anger is a normal human response, there is no saint on planet Earth so don't let anyone deceive you otherwise).

If you do end up keeping this baby and supporting your sister, she must do the bulk of the work and you must do your absolutel best everyday to love this child ( you will fail once in a while but dust yourself and keep loving the child).

tatacherie:
Abi ooo lolzz I followed madame Onegais pattern on page 2.difference are the ribbon & spagetti hand
Tnx ma'am

Really, really nice. This totally made my day because it's nice to see people respond and you even advanced and took it one further.

Start thinking Ruff n Tumble, girlie

Let me see the dunces that will applaud Dangote and Buhari. The future of Nigeria has been sold in the name of power grabbing. Indorama and Notore produced the same bag for N6500. Instead of Buhari to support local Nigerian companies (who have huge plants and can deliver), the Moroccans came around since last year and Dangote encouraged this deal and used his influence with Buhari so as to remove competition before his plant launches. Thousand of jobs will be lost but you will all be shouting "Dangote!" whilst he continues to destroy the economy in order to create a monopoly.

Next time they release unemployment statistics or all of you are begging for any type of job in desperation, remember you all worship at the altar of those who enslave you (Dangote and his cohorts).

SalamRushdie:
Very stupid..that place is an Indian supermarket for God sake and TRS Gari is for Indians ..I buy a lot of TRS products like cummin and turmeric from that same place and I have done so for ages .

TRS spices are sold at several places, not just Indian supermarkets. Even Ebeano supermarkets sell some of their goods. So they cannot say it is only for Indians and Arabs. I cannot Nigerian goods at mainstream stores outside the country unless I go to a store catering to African or world market. We should do the same.

Dtush I'm so relieved for you and your family.

BritneyStacy:
I don't mind. ..am loosing my mind...maybe venting may help! God. ..am ashamed of myself!

Of course you are losing your mind! You keep fighting with your husband like he speaks Igbo and you understand Hausa, you have a child and expecting another one and the economy has crashed. you should totally buy a gun.

Now imagine how he feels.

You know one of the worst pieces of advice ever given? "A woman builds her home" and "Men are not wired to take care of kids". Seriously.

Imagine if I put you in a box and labelled it "Strong, macho and head of the house" and no matter how you felt, I insisted that was your role and you should do nothing else but it. Won't you hate it because sometimes, you just want to be britneystacy who makes mistakes and feels scared and is unsure of the future from time to time? Especially when everything on the outside is messing and you certainly cannot fix the economy, you come home and you feel there is no space for you to just be you (and not be the Head of The House) and every time you make a suggestion (you probably said it in an annoying manner ), your wife loses her shi.t because she said she wanted answers but not those answers. And the resentment keeps piling up and building inside. So the fights come easier...

Take your husband out of the box.

If he comes home at night and the baby needs to take a bath and you have to make dinner, give him to his dad and do NOT look back. Don't worry he will be fine. (and I say this as someone whose brothers and husband are more understanding of babies than sisters with kids and my mum). If he comes home, let him know it's his house and he may be feeling terrified of what is out there, I mean, sardine just jumped from N220 to N300 in a week, where will money for 2 kids and a wife come from?? And it is OKAY to feel scared and to tell you he doesn't have answers and to just be a dude. And it is perfectly okay for you to stop telling yourself "I am a wife, this is the list of expectations from me in this marriage".

Be his friend in the sh.itstorm and stop trying to fix things because it just makes it worse. After all, you and society gave him title "Head of The House" and told him his responsibilities and he may be struggling with them, so he turns to the one place he thinks he can fulfill a role and you are there doing Superwoman and not giving him space to help you and even your most sensible suggestion, he reacts to like you are bossing him around and he acts up and oh look, there's another fight.

Let him fix you. And you fix him. As friends. Friends don't have too many expectations, husbands and wives do.

I know this seems like weird advice but take it from someone who did it and stopped wanting to otapiapia her husband

callola you could start a thread on it, encourage others to join it and share support and tips. a lot of people don't like admitting it.

britneystacy, wanna talk?

ginababy,
1. what is his exact highest temperature?
2. if his blood work is negative (malaria parasite says zero instead of plus, white blood cell count is normal), why are they prescribing anti-malarial? Ask for full test result.
3. Paracetamol is fine, no need to discard. Ask them why they said it.

Danzak, what are his highest temps, where is the full breakdown of his blood work? collect the one the lab gave the Dr. Get a referral (Dr should write what he is treating your kid but and what meds). I think it is a stomach virus but there should be something the drs are seeing. Is he in pain, have you done a light, upper abdomen massage? I only have a few hours here and I'm off again so try and reply as soon as you can.

Same

Same ss bove

Phone double posting

Doubledouble:
Madamé, that is so not right...u have practically accused Onegai, of being envynot...do not throw accusations you can't back up...I am not a defender of anyone but we should all learn to appreciate one another...we all have one thing or the other to contribute. Onegai, did well for this forum and no one can take that away...not said a word since this brouhaha, cos honestly, we are all adults - mothers at that- and should know better. Cheers!

Darling, you must learn how to hush, wait and let things play out.

The average child uses about diapers from birth to potty training.

2.5 years of nappying a child equates to 912.5 days of nappy use!

Assuming on average a child uses 7 diapers a day, that means 6388 nappies over the life of a child, from birth to potty training. Assuming your child is completely potty trained by 30 months of age.



Buying 3 “unbranded –Lord knows what” nappies for N100 :

Over two and a half years, you would have spent N213,000 or N85,000 per year


Molfix at N4500 for a pack of 100:

63 packs over 2.5 years = N288,000 in 2.5 years or N115,000 per year

Pampers with N22,000 for 130

50 packs over 2.5 years = N1,100,000 or N440,000 per year

Huggies at N25,000 for 180

36 packs over 2.5 years= N900,000 or N360,000 per year

The above prices does not include cost of wipes and zinc based diaper cream.



How much do cloth nappies cost:

Lets compare it with the cost of the cheapest nastiest brandless disposables on the market at N85,000 a year.

So, What will N85,000 a year of cloth nappies get you from Wamby Diapers?

6 covers – N15,600

24 prefolds – N36,000

2 bamboo inserts – N 3,800

2 hemp inserts – N4,200

2 wet bags – N6,000

20 wipes – N10,500

10 Reusable liners – N5,500

1 pack flusable liners – N2,500 ( can last 4 -6 depending on usage and age of child)

Total: N84,100

With N900 change for banana ground nut and cold coke!

Wipes already included in price, all you need to do is add water

Diaper creams are not advised with cloth nappies as they affect the absorbency, so what do we recommend, good old coconut oil or shea butter or Wamby baby's all natural bum butter will do the trick.

This basic stash will let you do your diaper laundry every other day for a younger baby, and every third day for an older child with a few extras to use when the nappies are drying out.

Please note that there is also a cost attached to the laundry (water and electricity) involved in using cloth diapers, but this is relatively negligible considering the average nigerian is really bad at leaving electrical gadgets on and plugged, so the money you would save in turning off and unplugging electrical ampliances, can easily pay for your extra washing machine cycle for your cloth diapers.

How long will this last you? Our cloth diapers are designed from about 10lbs to 35 lbs that is basically from about 5,5 kg to 15Kg which is roughly 2 1/2 years or 3 years old when your child is potty trained. So you will use our diapers for 2.5 years for one child, and most likely, use most of it for a second child as well!

There will be some wear and tear as with anything that is used and washed as intensively as our diapers and we will be honest with you, you will have to replace a few items depending on usage. But changing a couple of wraps and buying a few disposable liners which are an optiona purchase is a negligible cost!

So what if you have a baby smaller than 5.5kg:

Well, Wamby diapers are working on a scheme to help parent cloth diaper their babies from birth irrespective of birth weight( starting from preemies of birth weights even less than 1.5kg – yep!!! You read that right!) So watch this space.

N2700 is chicken change, abi na? Or is it...

http://mameandboo..com.ng/2017/01/n2700-is-chicken-change.html?m=1

We got 2 friends to make a bet about how much their diapers cost. For the same price, they got disposables and cloth diapers. The results are in.