₦airaland Forum

Breastfeeding is not a sacrifice but it is hard. It may be what's best for the baby but some women are incapable of it or do not produce enough milk. And they will have tried everything. It can turn a woman mad because people are putting pressure on her and judging her because of something she has no control over. Women have starved their children to death in desperation trying to EBF and refusing to give formula. Sit her down, pull up close to her and ask "what's really going on with this EBF, you know you can confide in me". Then open up websites about breastfeeding and both of you look at the info together. If it's just for purely cosmetic reasons, you have shown her she's wrong. If she had concrete fears (she may have been watching your child lose weight and listening to nosy people comparing your child to a plumper baby), you have allayed them and slain her dragons. Which is what every woman wants in a husband.

Or you can keep snapping at her. Whichever works best.

Mmotimo, God bless you for this. (It's nice to see Family landers here from time to time).

Benignasweety, carry your load back to your parents for now. And absolutely nothing will happen to your baby if you leave. I wanted to speak to you much earlier because I knew they would make you beg (and that would make things so much worse for you and he). If your baby is upto a month, he can make the road trip (he can even fly sef, though that's not an option for now). Just go home and don't let anyone make you try and fix things. All you need to do is focus on yourself and your kid. Try and avoid talking to him and if you want to speak to anyone about him, pick someone you trust or you know you won't see too much after this, so you can vent to your heart's desire. Just go back home, don't even think about what he's thinking. It is for him to fix things, he's the head.

Benignasweety:
Nwannem, myself too have planned on leaving, jex dat Zizi is still too small to travel down d east with me. My case kwa na dat of battering too and yes dis mrning I was battered! chai... tinz we go tru praying he will change.., dey dont change at all, dey get worst!

Cant wait for month end to travel.

But I said we should talk na. Oya, don't throw your own ring away, my sister advised me I needed to keep my rings and sell them . Infact, find his ring, dust am. If it's gold, it will sell for a nice price (he has responsibilities o).
Are you still in the house? Has he left? Pm? My replies won't be too fast sha but let's see.

TWoods:
Difficult to see such a constitutional amendment happening at all. However, what i suspect will happen (if immigration reform ever passes) is likely the elimination of the ability to seek medical treatment in the US on a B1/B2 visa. People who wish to have kids in the US would then need to apply for a specific medical visa. That would eliminate all these cases of "sudden" pregnancies once visiting visas have been obtained.

It will. Everyone is now aware of homegrown terrorists and the Right has successfully painted Latinos and other immigrants as the cause of all wahala. Did you see this?

https://www.ice.gov/voice

https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2017/02/28/politics/donald-trump-voice-victim-reporting/index.html

Trump is the useful idio.t a lot of powerful guys have been waiting for. He will help them pass Laws even crazy Republicans can't pass. Because he appeals to the most fringe sects (who rabidly voted for him). Lower class and middle class people vehemently believe too much immigration is hurting them.

I believe the issue is, frequency. A situation comes up and it's understandable. 3 in 10 will have these issues and that's fine. But when 9 out of 10 show up, with the same "issue" and excuse, then it becomes suspicious. In the past, no-one cared as long as you paid your bills. They were delighted to welcome new citizens sef. Even UK was begging Nigerians who schooled abroad to apply for British citizenship. But what happens now? The system got abused and at Heathrow, Nigerians are treated like criminals and grilled aggressively. Same thing is beginning to happen in the US: someone came here a few weeks ago to say how a CBP officer tried to deter her by saying they no longer allowed foreigners to come give birth. I kept quiet, even though I could have mentioned that in my former county (a nice, liberal county), they found a home for wealthy Koreans used to organize childbirth tourism and called police on them and had them escorted out, it was on the news because protesters even showed up. Last month, a nurse at one of the popular hospitals mentioned on this thread was grilling my cousin "Why are so many Nigerians coming here, it's because of the birth by citizenship isn't it?" during her labour. Nigerians tend to see something, it makes sense and they flood it unthinkingly until it crashes (everyone does makeup and sings and is a model/designer now, before everyone entered IT, before then everyone sold lace, then everyone rushed into Banking etc).

Be honest: I'm going to give birth, here is my plan. Yes or No?

Once the embassy says "No need for letter of intent" and Trump's strategists push the new law for extreme vetting of visa applicants, including vetting their social media, next thing they will work on is that in 5 to 10 years' time, constitutional amendment: citizenship by birth and parental only. UK, France and Germany is suffering from from second generation (children of immigrants) turning into terrorists (they can't deport citizens). You think the US is not considering modifying things already? Okay na.

And for those saying "I have millions, I don't live in America by choice, I don't need them blah blah", great. Then why go there and hassle to give birth? The truly rich Nigerians are turning down US citizenship, in fact once you go to the US and spend some serious dough acquiring assets, they offer you citizenship (the entire family). No need for "please what is the cheapest state blah blah".

jreyez:
Hello everyone, I greet each and every one of you.

My girlfriend is about a month pregnant and she doesn't want the baby.
I know it's wrong and irresponsible.
Please I have made a research about getting rid of it.
And most people say D & C is very dangerous.
Please what do you guys recommend?

Doctors in the house please help?

Thank you.

First of all, this is the wrong place to ask about abortions.

I'm not here to judge you, at the end of the day, you and your gf have to live with the consequences of your actions. I would also rather not have you go to do some back-alley nonsense or swallow pills from an unscrupulous source. So, open your thread or... Go to the thread about Gynaecologist in the house (it is usually on the first page of the Health section), look for a Dr in your area there and ask him via pm for a consultation.

If you do decide to still not keep the baby, may I recommend you guys at least consider adoption after birth? There are plenty orphanages and people looking to adopt and that child may end up with foreign kpalli (like my cousin's) or living in a nice house in Lekki (like my friend's). I believe your conscience will sleep better at night. Because abortions are a very hard decision to make and you do feel emotionally wrecked, especially the female, for a long time. Years, not months. Adoptions, now I like those. Much easier to hand them over to an orphanage than to dump them on the road.
So much better to hand them to a loving family than to keep the baby and both of you take out your frustration on it for the next 18 years. Not everyone is cut out for this or for staying with a partner they are unsure of, in the name of "we have a baby together but I hate him/her".

At the end of the day, it's your choice. All the best, I pray you make a good decision.

. From what people say here, it seems they apply for a Tourist/visiting visa and then send a letter of intent to change visa a short while later. Which does come off as fraudulent. After all, unless you're saying you only realized a week later you were pregnant and decided to make such plans, it looks like you were circumventing the VO's ability to judge your visa application.
And, you have no idea whom is a VO or married to a VO, on NL, reading your comments and passing them on. So, don't be surprised in the near future, an official announcement is made about the Letter of Intent, declaring it null and void. Then the fun starts.

Just be honest from the get-go when applying for your visa, medical tourism in the US is not a crime. It is a nation of Immigrants and it's constitutional to get US citizenship (though it's in the works to change it as middle America dislikes the idea. I once met a lady planning on lying to CBP about why she was in the US, pregnancy and all. Because she said everyone in Nigeria advised her to just say "vacation" and then go on to give birth.

Benignasweety:
They change wen dey chose to and not a family member can make dat happen, instead it creates a bigger rift like you re d talkative who would keep inviting 3rd party to your home... You get now ma?
On d positive side, he is trying on changing and I pray it iz permanent dix tym not d change today, continue tmro kinda tin...

We will talk, hopefully soon.

Damsel21:
So sad to say I inventualy lost d pregnancy after wks my pain now is incomplete evacuation, am so scared right now will be going for another evacuation today pls pray for me

Here, close your eyes and imagine you're stretching out your hands. Now see us all in your mind, holding onto you, tight. You're going to be fine. You're going to be just fine. We'll all be there with you in the hospital room today and if you feel like coming back to talk about it here because you're sad, it's okay. And it's okay to be scared. Remember, we are holding onto you tightly here.

angeltolly:
Organic Mama yaf come Oya mamas that need reusable pad should contact her...... As for me, I won't need one anytime soon. So lemme invest in praying for our economy, who knows, 1 Dollar may be equal to 1 Naira by the time I will be needing one.... so I can buy disposable pad

$1= N1

Benignasweety:
lol... ma u misinterpreted me. Am not comparing single folks o
datz far from it..

I meant a situation wia your better half always parades himself as single and keep girlfriends like he is dating dem and wld one day get married to any of dem... shey u gat d point now? all dix is cuz of youthful exoberance as he would claim it to be while I hurt d most cuz I really want my man to atleast acknowledge his marital status, keep healthy female frndz not d ones to talk back at me and tell me if am sure dat dia own boyfriend is married like I claim.

Please I'm quite confused by this and I sincerely hope for your sake and sanity and wellbeing, you have rung the alarm with his family and yours. That is not youthful exuberance in any manner or form, and you waiting for him to "outgrow" it means you are planning on unlooking and managing in the hopes that one day, he will tire (they don't, not until late 50s).

angeltolly:
500 Naira It is not a small something Abeg, wey all these mamas weh dey design and sell reusable diapers ooo...... This is your time to shine when are we getting the reusable pad version

Hi. Will you buy reusable pad it's one thing to do reusable diapers, but even I get icked out by reusable pads. I can't stand the sight of blood, even mine. For those asking questions about wipes, I used cloth wipes for first baby and I'm using the same cloth wipes for this baby.

I wish I could post pics up right now...

peggygee:
Abeg how do they take pix down? Help! I'm a novice ooo

Click on your post "Modify" and click on the file, under "Choose file"

Hey! Happy Recession!! Shall we update this thread??

Mods, Fynestboi and Richie, can we please move this thread to Careers? Thank you.

[quote author=ciscamustexcel post=57510744][/quote]Her hair is stunning.

jazzyjazz:
Wow

It was an impressive feat: basically she says "I'm going to Akwa Ibom today", gather her funds, calculate her transport and feeding, look for things to do there those 2 days, get on the transport on time, find a hotel/guesthouse and make it back safely, under budget. And this was pre-Instagram and Twitter Era. She was so resourceful and excellent planning skills. I would have hired her as a PA because I know she's so organized I won't be worrying about my schedule or making meetings or missing appointments. A CEO will just say "I need to be in Guangzhou by Friday", Wednesday she has booked ticket, hotel, transportation and even gotten an agent that speaks English and can take her CEO around town, gotten forex and just drop all the plans on his desk and clear his schedule to get him to MMIA on time. I'd pay her N350,000 minimum for those skills. That was how MNET reasoned it. What more does one need in an employee biko?

jazzyjazz:
Lol
Your mum is funny

She wasn't lying sha...

I know a girl who got a job with MNET based on the fact that during her NYSC, she traveled to every state in Nigeria for 2 days (she didn't know anyone) for sightseeing. They said it showed an ability to plan and execute,work without constant managerial oversight, adventurous spirit, proper time and resource management. She had no single experience on her CV. More qualified people were bounced for her (she didn't know anyone sef, no connections).
When she started working there, they were proved right.

HR is like VO at embassy, they want you to convince them you are hot cake.

jazzyjazz:
Noted. Thank you ma'am

It's rarely your CV that gets a job If I write my CV, I may not even get an interview. So I would walk in and get face time with someone. I swear, I would have a job by that evening. Even if there was no vacancy. My mum used to be fake-angry because she said "you're the laziest twit in the world, why do they keep falling for your tricks?!"

Jazzyjazz,


https://www.nairaland.com/1899177/why-youre-not-getting-job

Read that please. And next time you go for an interview, make sure you know 5 things about the company you are interviewing at. He wanted to know if you could balance work and home life (unfortunately a lot of Nigerian women are constantly using "my kids, my family" as excuses to underperform at work. HR people know this and discriminate against married Mums because of this, can't blame them). If you had gone there, asking "so I read in the newspapers your company is handling blah blah construction, I noticed your website online was not yet fully developed to maximize outreach to potential clients etc" if you act like you work there and have so many ideas about how to impact the company and sound interesting, you will get hired almost immediately. Because he won't look at you as a Secretary/woman with distractions planning on being present mentally and physically only 60% of the time, he will see an asset, 80% ready to grow the company.

Trust me.

Pweetiebabe:
Thanks ma'am, was abt talking d pics down wen my fone went off...Thanks a lot.

Coolness. I am serious, love your bra. I wish I could remember how to buy nice underwear or even where to get them in Lagos.

PweetieBabe, this is cute (love your bra by the way!) but please take the pic down. NL is not a safe place and there are really a lot of young, perverted twits calling themselves boys who will see nothing wrong with saving the pics and using them as a meme amongst their friends. Or worse, it will end up on one of their cheap por.n sites and used as a banner on NL to advertise "Slutty Housewives For Your Pleasure"...

Hmm, I'm surprised to hear that Molfix just came into the market (since there are posts showing Mums using it on NL from 2013 and even 2015). That corresponds to what I was told off-NL. But yeah.

I'm working on this right now for cloth diapers. I know some mums have struggled with folding the cotton prefolds so I hope this will be easier (the absorbency will be higher but it will take a bit longer to dry). Once I can get my quality control and an honest price that is fair to all, no problem. Please remember me in your prayers. Quality control is important to me so it won't be out just yet. I'm passionate about my project and we have to start believing in our own goods

(besides, aren't you just TIRED of all our leaders in Politics and Industry making mouth that we should sacrifice for the good of the country but sending their kids abroad, buying only imports and throwing lavish wedding and birthday parties in the Obodo Oyinbo ??)

dimpules8:
Hello mamas and papas. Please I need urgent assistance. I had to change my 18month old baby's diapers to Huggies dat has an Asian baby on it(size 5) as I could not find d Huggies we were using previously here. Each morning he is drenched in urine despite my aunt's claim dat she changes him 3-4 times b4 morning. I tot she was lying until I confirmed ds morning dat a diaper changed by 5am cud not hold urine past 7:30am!! Even if he pees 10x which is not possible for such a short time. I previously told her to look for molfix size 5 but she cudnt find any too, kept seeing size4. Please can someone help give me a name of any functional diaper please.

What I use is cloth diaper for my baby and she doesn't leak. I recently had some made and was testing them quite recently. It's 100% cotton, doesn't require a fastener and very absorbent but takes a while to dry. Otherwise it's a great product. Once I can confirm my quality control and an honest price, then moving out to selling. so please watch this space, I will put up pictures.

Pampers, Molfix, and some brands have some issues, they fall apart or poor elastics lead to leakage and the gel inside, SAP, is what is causing the issues. It touches the skin and causes rashes. But the truth is, those brands are made abroad but specified for African market, so is shoddy. So one batch is decent, another batch is poor and at the end of the day, profits are what matters to them (do you have the money to sue them? They didn't even reply my emails last year). Before you think I hate them all, I will willingly use a disposable diaper that works (and my daughter now has to use one during the day for school sadly). But for diapers, I just want something that works. If you really want to use disposables, sadly you have to buy the US brands for some quality control across packs, there is no such thing in the world as cheap/"affordable" and good. Take it from me, Ms.PennyWise-PoundFoolish

Which is why I trust my cloth diapers.

For your issue, in disposables you need to go a size up, size 5. Any leaks in any sort of diaper is caused by baby either outgrowing that size or poor usage or poor construction. 18 month olds have decent bladder control, are getting ready for potty training and shouldn't be soaking through diapers in 2 hours.

An oldie but goodie on why I always recommend cloth diapers.

http://nefescorner..com/2017/02/atopic-dermatitis-growing-concern.html?m=1

olubankemi:
Number one is molfix. As in, aside that I use it for my babies,what I see on most babies is molfix. They are also doing promo now, I buy 3500 from the distributor now (that's the big one with 92 or 84 pieces). Since you are buying for resell am sure you can Get for 3300. Some stores still sell for 4200.

Diaper store won't be bad. Then with time add other baby items.

I wish you well.

This reminds me, I beg mamas using molfix for their kids, plsss, did you notice any reactions of late?

Yes. I spoke to Pediatric dermatologists about it and they said Molfix and some other brands had reduced their quality for some years (brands specifically coming to the African market). And it's not just diapers,
certain brands of Sanitary napkins also are affected Remember, there's no-one out there looking out for product quality for you. Not SON and not NAFDAC. Sad but true.

http://nefescorner..com/2017/02/atopic-dermatitis-growing-concern.html?m=1

http://nefescorner..com/2017/01/diaper-rash-oh-my.html?m=1

Hello Mama's,

I know this is old, but I still like it and think it works. Especially nowadays. HTHs

http://nefescorner..com/2017/06/new-baby-lets-go-shopping.html?m=1

http://nefescorner..com/2017/01/how-to-build-your-stash-for-cheap.html?m=1

ntyce:
Good day all,

My wife is a few weeks pregnant. We ve been married for 4 years and battled infertility (a failed ivf). We were preparing for another ivf when last week she went for test and was told she was pregnant.
She started noticing the usual signs - tiredness, stomach movement etc.
Yesterday, she got worried that belly movement has stopped for a while and she was having a sharp tingling pain by the abdomen.
I asked her to see the doctor, the doctor did different tests and informed her that it was an inflammation of the appendix. Antibiotics were prescribed and she was told not to worry.
I am a bit worried and confused, could this sudden inflammation of the appendix be anyway related to the pregnancy.
Could these not be signs of ectopic pregnancy (thinking of the worst)

Pls, I will need suggestions.

Thks

The best person to explain this to you is a Doctor (preferably a Gynecologist and since you were doing IVF you know one). At few weeks' pregnancy, maybe the belly movement she felt was Quickening (but even then how many weeks is she?). An inflamed appendix is determined by physical exam, usually a surgeon checks for it (least that's how I know, but it could be different). Did they query PID? These are serious medical questions that are best answered by a competent dr. As for ectopic pregnancy, any of this happening:

"Sharp or stabbing pain that may come and go and vary in intensity. (The pain may be in the pelvis, abdomen, or even the shoulder and neck due to blood from a ruptured ectopic pregnancy gathering up under the diaphragm).

Vaginal bleeding, heavier or lighter than your normal period

Gastrointestinal symptoms

Weakness, dizziness, or fainting"

Is an indication. Does she have any of that, if yes, straight to the hospital ASAP (it's an emergency). You guys have a risk factor (fertility meds in rare cases are linked to it) but your Dr is the best person to examine her in person. So leave the online worrying alone and go back to the Dr and mention all your worries till you get a satisfactory answer. If not try another consultant gynae.

cococandy:

Hush, child! Sit back and watch them die of anguish and hypocrisy. They are denying that was what the Book of Hosea was about: God's love in the face of people refusing to love Him back. If I had typed this to a woman, I'd be getting shares, likes and applause. They would have added this to their roster of Bible passages used to manipulate a woman into staying with a man who was unrepentant about cheating, but God forbid they look inwardly and see the Bible is gender-equal and tells men to do the same. Their own "special bible" also says men are polygamous even though the Ten Commandments says "Thou shalt not commit Adultery". It's their right to cheat.

Yesitsme:
So my lo did this while breastfeeding...And all these religious people will now come and say it's illuminati sign. Wetin my pikin know sef, she was jejely enjoying mummy's undiluted bobi and her hand started to dance to the sweetness.

Nonsense, bone any illuminati, she's a rock princess and that's a good thing. Below is a video of the girl who recorded the theme for the biggest movie so far this year. She too, is a rock princess (and a classically trained cellist, great paying job, lots of opportunities). So better don't dull your girlie don't dream Nigerian dreams for your girl, there's a lot she can be #BlackGirlMagic

https://youtu.be/0nq7AeFDAz4

[img]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nq7AeFDAz4][/img]

From the mouth of "Pastor" Victor Ibeh

Hosea 1:1-3

And the Almighty God said to Hosea, "go and get thee an harlot for a wife, for I want to use her to teach the Israelites, what true love is".

Hosea got a harlot wife who gave him three children and kept cheating on him with random men.

While she was cheating on him, he didn't stop loving her. Occasionally, he begged her to stop cheating but she refused.

Hosea was patient with his wife AS ALL GODLY MEN SHOULD. At the time she was tired of being married to him, she divorced him and moved on.

Dear Nigeria virtuous man, be like Hosea. Learn to follow the right example. Stop chasing away your cheating wives.

When your wife is cheating, it is because there is something lacking in your life. Don't get mad at her. Be patient with her. Entreat her to stop.

Above all be prayerful. Prayer is the Master key and Masters of the house should always know how to use prayer.

A man is the head of the family just as Christ is the head of the church. Christ does not throw us away when we cheat on him. He draws us closer and shows us more love.

When your wife cheats, show her some more love. Love is a powerful weapon. If she doesn't stop after you have done all these then give her freedom to satisfy herself. But don't stop praying for her.

Remain blessed as you show forth godly examples in your families.

Amen...

Copyright, Victor Ibeh 2017

Let all this DNA test stop because it is ungodly. Men, love your wives like God instructs you to do. Be faithful and accept the children in love. God is watching you and He hates divorce. War Room. Hallelujah.

mofy1:
Tnx mama I will leave first thing tomorrow morning.

How long have you been feeling contractions? You may have to go tonight. The contractions won't be regular (one at 5mins, another 20mins later). But you will feel really uncomfortable, and it can last an entire day (I did 7am till I got to the hospital at 10pm).
I could walk and the only reason I was taken to the hospital was because my brother didn't want to miss his dinner (he wanted to dump me and run). I walked in to the Nurses' station and said "please check me so this dodoyo can take me back home and I can eat my steak in peace" . And it was already 3.5cm. But no water break and no mucus plus. Just period pains all day that were uncomfortable.

mofy1:
Pls mama's help a novice mama. Can I be in labour without water lick or seing mucus plug. Pls mama's don't waka pass.

Yes. I was at 3.5cm dilation and saw none of that. Mucus plug is easy to miss though. But my water didn't break, they had to break it at 9cm.