₦airaland Forum

The youth of Nigeria is a more extreme reflection of the youth of the world: largely ignorant, mostly vacuous and a determined hunger for a consumerist outlook of life. No matter where you go in the world, it's the same issue. Just that Nigeria's situation is more pathetic because of endemic poverty and poverty mentality. They are desperate to hold onto any form of success, be it an idiot.tic musician or an insipid winner of a talentless show.

It is only in Nigeria that I hear "oversabinus" and "I-too-know" being used as an insult to people whom are genuinely knowledgeable and others will be applauding. Seriously, it's actually a sin in Nigerian society to be smart, well-informed, you are accused swiftly of being prideful and blowing big grammar "How dare you attempt to reason differently??!!" is their motto.

It is only in Nigeria that your father tells you to never lie because Lying is wrong whilst he is getting dressed to go sleep with another woman whom is not his wife. Your parents tell you to read well and oh, here's money to settle your Lecturer. Then they are baffled by the corruption seeping in every aspect of life. They crack jokes about how comfortable they are with molestation and rape of adults but are horrified when a toddler gets raped (no shi.t, Sherlock). They say we are godly and disturb your ears with their houses of worship but put up a story of a junior person stealing from his/her boss or even killing them and watch how the victim is blamed, with no evidence. They all want to live well, have savings and have an iPhone at 18. The girls want to look nice but are fine with your husband paying for it, it's not "their fault married men chase them and they cannot say No". The boys all want natural beauties...as yellow and weaved-on as possible, with a sprinkle of foreign accent and a wealthy Daddy. No-one's parents are asking "how did you pay for your last trip to UK??" they are just delighted their kids are "doing well".

And everyone walks about, perplexed why the society is so rotten.

Even if you gave them all the books in the world, you have to challenge their minds from childhood. Our kids are taught to conform and not be great or not think too much. They are taught to be as mediocre as humanly possible. It is encouraged to a disturbingly high level.

Case in point: at Lekki Conservation Center is a tall ladder to a platform which shows you the top of all the trees. Anyone can climb it and it's not a difficult climb. Every single Nigerian, able-bodied or not, there refused to climb it. All the young men told their young girlfriends to be afraid because "they couldn't do it", a father told his older teenage daughter to "shut up and keep walking" when she wanted to try it. Meanwhile, foreigners of much older age were climbing up (heck some Chinese lady who could have been 100 years old scaled it). That's just a ladder to look at trees, how do you expect those people to hear you say "I am moving to a remote area to study Quantum Physics or Alignment of Stars" without them shrieking in horror and dragging you to church for deliverance and buying you JAMB form to study Accounting, Law or some other safe thing?

If I say "let me take my kids to Osogbo Festival/Eyo Festival", prayers warriors will descend on me. If I ask my child to question even the Pastor of a church, church people will descend on me. If I say "let us all plan a visit to the National Railway Museum in Lagos", absolutely no parent on NL will show up.

No-one wants to learn, no-one wants to be adventurous and nobody wants to take a risk. Therefore the only thing left to do is to stagnate. Which is where we are right now as a society. Which is why we keep producing slower children: you can't give what you don't have.

Whatever happened between Man and Wife is for God to judge them both justly.

However, your father owes you and your siblings an apology. He brought you into this world and is personally responsible for you. He had no right to abandon you guys for 8 solid years and swan in, expecting Unconditional Love and Filial Affection and Respect. He most certainly didn't give his children that love, so why should they reciprocate what was not taught to them??

Nigerian society is already so broken that we cannot afford to keep ignoring people abandoning their personal responsibility and demanding we forgive without them paying for their crimes/bad judgements.

He owes you and your siblings an explanation or an apology or he owes you nothing and you owe him absolutely nothing.

Later on, you will see them crying upandan in their old age about neglectful children, instead of them to admit they brought their troubles on their own head, it is never their fault. Mschewwww.

Onegai:
It's hard to prove medically. It could be a diaper rash gone very bad (yes, the genitals can get inflamed) or an infection. What you need to have at the back of your mind is: have you ever suspected this girl of odd behavior, has she done anything that made you uncomfortable (even though you brushed it off), how old is the Nanny, how old is your son, what was the time gap between the first time you noticed reddishness and yesterday, what is his reaction to the nanny and to people changing his diaper (is he throwing a screaming fit when she comes near every time or tries to take off his diaper, even young babies will push hands aside if they associate diaper changes with discomfort and abuse is uncomfortable). Those are stronger markers, combined with the medical tests. Not trying to say you're wrong but Drs have to look for bruising that is hard to explain. Sexual Abuse in children is mostly psychological, if it's fingering, it's hard to see physical signs.

I don't really want to write much on this here, but try take those questions I asked as a start. Perhaps it's best to search for another nanny too. Because if you saw that and your mind went straight to abuse, maybe your subconscious is telling you something.

In addition to the above, please take her to the hospital. Since you suspect insertion has taken place, the Dr can test for foreign bodies in the wrong place (there are certain bacteria and other markers that shouldn't be in that area, that are indications that someone inserted something in there). Depending on the results, mention me on this thread so we can decide the next steps.

Meanwhile, keep your baby at home until test results are back. I really nothing happened.

freecharles:
Where is the Universal Studio of Art located please? Do you know if they still offer art classes and training? Thanks

I don't know but it is at national arts theatre. Please contact them by going there. Thanks.

babythug:
Hello everyone! How are we doing? The plants? We've just moved and I have space to plant!!!!! Looking for ideas on low maintenance plants/ trees I could plant! I already intend to have cacti all the various kinds I can find then I also would like palms! Preferably the types that don't produce coconuts! Is it better to start from scratch or buy adolescent plants? Any ideas on costs or where to get good breed?

Thanks everyone!

Gimme a minute please...

Buy adolescent plants. Because it is quite challenging to start new plants. Probably look at your space and pics online to plan what to do. Or take a pic of the empty space, upload it here and ask Oriaburefarms and Co to help plan it and make suggestions.

Egunmogaji, pidgin2

There are 2 sides of the coin to living in the US. When I first moved there, I stayed with cousins and their families. And despite the large house and nice cars, they acted meanly and pinched pennies (even in uncalled for situations). Once, my cousin and I discussed the Metro for transport and he gave me $10 (unasked for, I had large bills only so he wanted to give me change). His wife called me later to give me a lecture (over $10!). Another would happily eat the pricey loaves of bread I bought from a special bakery but would harden her face like concrete when I grabbed some grapes from the fridge. As if I could not afford grapes in Nigeria. All nurses, I may add. They whined about electricity bills if I stayed up past 10pm,yet expected the gens to be run all night long when they came to visit us in Nigeria. My mum said "they grew up poor, they live beyond their means abroad because they want to show they have" Arrived", all you see them flaunting is got on credit, mortgages and rent-to-buy". I knew a guy who had $2000 wristwatches but worked as security, so his nna bros back home would hail him. Rather than save up and start something lucrative.

Compare that to my brother, a professional, who drives a nice car and paid off his student loans and insist we have holidays which he pays for and goes to nice restaurants and I can use the internet in peace without worrying who will come and bend my ears.

So you may be one of those who has their head above water in the US but a large number of them don't yet like to pretend to. Maybe Pidgin2's cousins are part of the latter group and you Egunmogaji are part of my brother's group.

I know someone living in her in-law's mansion in the US (he made his billions in Nigeria). Her hubby cannot afford that type of house. She's constantly taking selfies in front of it and uploading for the world to see and admire that she don "Arrive" yet complains bitterly that her relatives back home keep asking for money. Why won't they, when she is misrepresenting her life? Same in the UK, see them at the MMIA looking all fresh and brand-new, yet living in a poky apartment in Peckham.

As for the Healthcare, America is stvpid and Nigeria is worse. The only reason I prefer Nigerian healthcare is that I am privileged to be able to afford the best and have relatives whom are excellent Dr's. I certainly won't wish Nigerian NHIS or General Hospitals, which I applied for and am yet to get, on my enemy. Actually I do, I'm evuls

And stop hyping Cali. In all of SoCal, there's no bubbling church that managed to close on time

sugah:
Onegai please can these wamby diapers pass as swimming diapers?

Yes. The diaper covers only. Swim diapers are not supposed to be absorbent, they are supposed to keep poop out of the water. At the club, I put them over disposable swim diapers (I practice US style of double protection because a lot of kids do training and squad there) and disposable swim diapers break down after one use because of the chlorine so they don't hold leaks as well.
So make sure you get a snug fit with the diaper cover around your baby's thighs for no poop leaks. Try adding 3 fleece liners inside it (for softness), it should work fine (worked for other Mums but I'm training a female Michael Phelps, so madame stays an hour in the water with coach ).
When you get the reusable Diaper covers, make sure you rinse the cover out very well after swimming, as chlorine is hard on everything (hair, skin, swim diapers etc). Working on reusable, unisex swim diapers (soon) so I'll keep you in mind.

MrBONE2:
I Just came across this thread i must tell you it really interesting. May GREAT ONE bless you

Thanks!

olubankemi:
Hmm, good evening Mamas, I appreciate all concerned mothers and your inputs.

The Doctor said we should first rule out abuse and treat it as infection and rash, hmmm. He never had anything like that before going out.

I really coudnt face her to challenge her cos I don't want to accuse her wrongly, however I called her and asked if she did touch him and she said no.

The girl has so many bad vices that if not that am just trying to see her like a daughter I would have since driven her back home. When she came initial she plays with his P.enis and I rebuked her immediately, this girl will do things you have repeatedly instructed her not to once you bleep your eyes. Am so fed up of her.

He is a okay today, atleast no cries when I wash him this morning and this evening.

If I begin to narrate all her nonsense attitude am sure everyone will say then why am I still keeping her. Maybe cos am just pitying her mum. And keeping her in my place is like helping the mum.

I have sat her down and talked to her, make her feel good and free but chai, on Tuesday I was so saddd when she turned her ownself madam when I was away! My house became like a house of dirt and left them to cry and cry.childrenn that don't ever cry. I no send her, she go make amala for them, I wan craze, when I already served their cereal before leaving- she kept their food in the freezer and made amala for them! As in undone amala (I saw the left over and I wept), these little ones ate this thing? I have never asked her to cook for me or the kids, never, so I don't know the gut she got to go make amala for them. She made them stay in the kitchen too, what I never allowed when am around, what if an accident happened? And she also fried meat on top! Haaaa.

E tire me, I no fit to narate again. Her issues too many.

Well, she's got the last warning!

A lot of what you said has confirmed my initial thoughts: she's young and maybe grew up in the village or somewhere very low-income that was hard to keep private life private. Village life is much more advanced and those kids grow up very fast and most are unfortunately abused with no-one caring so they become abusers and see nothing wrong. Playing with genitals and se.xual organs is VERY common. Most end up having children at a young age (I worked on something like this, so I know a little about Abuse). She is not doing it out of wickedness, someone most likely touched her (she may even have slept with a man, an abuser himself) and is at that pre-puberty/puberty stage where it felt good even though she was not mentally prepared. Se.xual relations is about the Mental, not the Physical. Because you are ready at 13 doesn't mean you should go for it.

Please put your child first. You are in no current position to help that girl. She needs a firmer hand and someone who knows about this and has the time, not a new mother. Pity her mum and help, but from afar. You do not have the time or knowledge to help her. And you are endangering her and your kids.

My sister and her friend refused to have a friend's nanny in their homes because she was exactly your girl, age 13, a mess domestically, kept wanting to watch the 6 and 7 year old boys bathe and wanting to be with them rather than older nannies or female babies. She touched her female charge's nipple in the name of "play" (a common occurrence I have seen, especially in lower-income environments with less privacy, they will kiss your child on the bare chest, handle his/her body and get offended when one say "stop", because all na "play and affection" ) and scribbled "I love John" on every surface. Even though her mum was protesting her innocence, we found out later "John" was her mum's bf and had started sleeping with both mother and daughter, at an early age. So her mum sent her away so they won't be fighting over Man. But told everyone it was for her future.

Thank God she left the baby somewhere safe. Now, let the hospital and government quietly organize Adoption to a family looking for a child and let everyone move on in peace. Don't look for the birth mother, find this baby a lovingly Mummy who wants him

Honey, did you just say your husband is spending time with this single female girl and coming home irritable, continually being Superman for the (mostly single) nurses, rarely gives you money and you have even RECEIVED letters from outsiders warning your husband to stay away from other ladies??


My sister, get a job and get your mind ready for a struggle. But you are stronger than this and will one day be happy (whether that man is beside you, I don't know) but you will be happy.

zionx:
Yes o...You don try. Thank you so much Mama. Three gbosa for you.

I just pray he improves soon, his weight is okay too maybe because he is still sucking.

I bought well baby(multivitamin).. still no changes

Tried Nutribom, purity and co ..Mba he no greee collect

He takes rice , bread and tea and swallow once in a while but he so much likes drinking water and eating meat, chicken and fish

I guess I will just keep trying and maybe he will improve when I stop breastfeeding him.


Good Morning Everyone! Wishing you all a blessed day!

Multivitamins don't work the way you think it would. It's not really supposed to make you hungry. Take it from someone who used to drink Multivite (as a child) to the point that the company started using me as a logo (not true, but I was forced to drink it like Fanta).

Kids get bored and have taste buds. So change their menu because they have the attention-span of an insect. If she hears "meat", she comes running, even if Dora is showing (and she doesn't mess with that Hispanic girl and her talking monkey!). I think it was because she needed protein. Which sounds like what your son is doing: stocking up on protein. But always try and add vegetables to the protein. Another trick I use is to let her eat from my plate. She prefers adult stuff (she wears my clothes and underwear around the house) and would rather eat from a big girl plate than a small one. Another thing is to let him do activities that starve him (physical exercise, as in we do Swimming, Catch The Chicken, Chase Daddy etc). Because a hungry child will accept anything you give them.

olubankemi:
Ohhhh, am so pained now. Can doctors medically prove that myy son was abused? Am seriously suspecting my house help to be abusing my son!

I don't leave them home n just go out, I resigned my pay job cos of them n have being a home mother. Their birthday is sunday so I have being busy trying to sort things out and was left with no option than to go out n leave them alone with her. Yesterday was dd sdecond time am doing that, the first time I noticed that his p.enis was reddish, yesterday I left home for sorting things and today his genitals are allllll so swollen and painful. I couldn't wash it well this morning.

I want to know if I can prove it medically, I needd to send her packing if that it is.

It's hard to prove medically. It could be a diaper rash gone very bad (yes, the genitals can get inflamed) or an infection. What you need to have at the back of your mind is: have you ever suspected this girl of odd behavior, has she done anything that made you uncomfortable (even though you brushed it off), how old is the Nanny, how old is your son, what was the time gap between the first time you noticed reddishness and yesterday, what is his reaction to the nanny and to people changing his diaper (is he throwing a screaming fit when she comes near every time or tries to take off his diaper, even young babies will push hands aside if they associate diaper changes with discomfort and abuse is uncomfortable). Those are stronger markers, combined with the medical tests. Not trying to say you're wrong but Drs have to look for bruising that is hard to explain. Sexual Abuse in children is mostly psychological, if it's fingering, it's hard to see physical signs.

I don't really want to write much on this here, but try take those questions I asked as a start. Perhaps it's best to search for another nanny too. Because if you saw that and your mind went straight to abuse, maybe your subconscious is telling you something.

domack99:
Thanks for the response,

Don't know if you are based in Nigeria but am presently looking for something to use as a fence (Living fence).

Am looking for a Cactus plant, I don't have an idea of how to get it and not sure if they can even survive in South west Nigeria.

See my previous link I created in search of Cactus plant and the other plant (don't know the name)

https://www.nairaland.com/3618141/living-fence-need-seed-plant

A cactus may not work because it may still have spaces but cactus do grow in the SW. You may need a climbing shrub.

fratermathy:
Urhobo is already being studied in Delta State University, Abraka, College of Education, Warri, and College of Education, Mosogar.

In DELSU, it is the only native language being studied for now.

We also have Urhobo Language Institute, Abraka and many other Urhobo research centers across Urhoboland.


The problem is not of the existence of these centers/schools but whether they are patronised by Urhobos. Many Urhobos would rather stay at home than study Urhobo language at the tertiary institution level. Those who can't speak Urhobo would never make the initiative to register at the many Urhobo language centers. Even the one at Abraka is hardly functional due to lack of patronage. It would have been closed down but for dedication on the side of its proprietor, Sir Ukere.

Urhobos need to change their orientation really.

All my in-laws, not one speaks. And they grew up in Warri. Even my language, hubby discourages me from speaking (he and I continually fight over having an English name for the kids on the Birth certificate, so far I have been winning with only traditional names). I have made my mind up, I'm hiring a teacher for my kids once they hit 5. They should be trilingual by 7. Japanese and Polynesian kids and Indian and Dutch kids are happily speaking English and their native language, why not mine? We must even attend festivals sef.

Hello domack99 what's up? Saw your pm, could I get a hint of what's up. Thanks

Mcowubaba:
$6,000 is like 2.4 million in black market.
So that can't pay for a 1 year rent of a 3 bedroom apartment in Ikoyi or Lekki phase 1.
U too lie.

How much is it 3 million per year

You clearly don't live around those places. The flats that are serviced flats are paying over N500, 000 just for service charge minus electricity. N2.4mil flat likely outside Lekki 1, from Igbo Efon down to VGC. Ikoyi that they are renting and quoting in dollar, I have never heard of N2.4mil plus service charge in Ikoyi ).

All the wealthy people I know, and I mean the 1%, made their money in Nigeria. Abroad is better for skilled workers who want a decent lifestyle and structure in their life. But to go abroad with a plan to just "hustle", dear Lord, it's hard. Especially now, as everyone is anti-immigration.

Zionx, how are you? It's been a while

[sup][/sup]Jacob's

bbjummy:
OP, can you just please stop living with your extended family and face your immediate family already? Stop now I mean right now if truly you don't want her to leave.
By this, I mean leave your extended family alone. Haba! I can't just understand all these mother-in-law jeopardy. God I thank you for my mother-in-law o! Correct mama any day any time

You will not be the first man to lose your spouse to family issues. But you can't make sure you're not the next in line to do so.

Speak up.

Tell your wife "your value to me is like smooth rocks on a flooded plain, you keep me safe" and mean it. Tell her people are weird and confused and she should pay them no mind. Encourage the friendships between the good family members and leave the rest alone (they will come when they feel like). If there are cousins who will like her, bring them close to her.

Make your MIL feel like a queen. Praise the way she loves her grandchild in your mother's presence. When your mum begins to show signs of discomfort or jealousy, quietly ask her "What has my darling done to deserve your dislike, that you not even being there for our child?" Say it the way I wrote it.

Don't do that Nigerian thing of unlooking in the hopes that things will improve then be punishing your wife for avoiding people that dislike and disrespect her. Don't get angry your wife wanted to leave. Several would run because they are afraid of the unknown and everywhere they go, they are told the husband's family matter more than her. I have seen good wives in their 40s still shiver in the MiL's presence because the old woman cannot accept them still, after 15 years of marriage.

They may never love her but they darn well can learn to respect her.

forzarush:
Adorable mothers of great nations,good morning. Please remember me in your prayers,i really need them and please what can help raise my PCV, I'm tired of blood transfusion? .

Juice Ugwu leaves and drink up. Every morning. That's what I need and combined with my Iron supplements plus eating Kale leaf as part of salads, my Dr and I saw an Improvement in a week. As for the blood transfusions, just to be safe and prepared, perhaps start locating the nearest blood bank to your planned hospital of delivery and ask hubby to befriend them and also have an emergency birth fund stashed in the house. So you get answered quickly if (God forbid) you need a transfusion during birth. Also, know your blood group offhand (very, very important) and have all the necessary medical info concerning what was done and treated to you all during the pregnancy, typed out, in your hospital box. That is what I would do (because my blood group is rare enough that they never have it and I understand what happens in most Nigerian Healthcare facilities. Do not make it harder than necessary for anyone to help you medically, you meet them halfway. I have a blood donor and he must answer me in any emergency). Better be safe and prepared and nothing happens, than leave it all to chance.

All the best, Giddyperson (though I am very suspicious of the fact that you are at 6cm and still on NL, girl you strong ).

Abintuk,

Firstly, remove No. 3. I wouldn't hire you as a teacher or recommend you. So focus on your strengths.

Go to the hotels, restaurants and big Guesthouses within N300-N500 worth of transport to where you live and offer your services as kitchen staff. The transport to VI may be too high for you to sustain but if you can move closer there or to Ikeja, you've got potential for work. You will have to knock on doors and move around and expect "No" a lot. If you can save a bit, move into catering for office staff (packaged foods). Try to pick a location and stick to being known as the premier food vendor there.

Depending on your location, beach resorts like Atican, Oniru and Elegushi may be able to offer you work. I believe Atican Beach (and there are new beaches springing up around there) will have space for you but it may be far for you. But luckily the area is a low-income area, you may be able to afford a room for accommodation.

Most people won't hire you for Nos 1&2 without a referral. You will need to align yourself to an agent who hires for this. Maybe someone can refer you to the agent that brings helps, drivers and nannies for them.

Leave No. 5 for now. Unless you can find a decent event or wedding planner in your area (the one who books a lot of work) and offer your services. You need experience in this industry.

Now, instead of pm-ing me or asking for directions or contacts (which I do not have), show off your No. 4 skills by locating all these places. You have to put in the legwork.

@Ifyalways, it's rarely about the man's love. It's more about the fact that you and he started together, you both contributed to the uplifting of the family and then he decides to enjoy himself and reward only himself. You are hurt but you think to yourself "does this girl not empathize with me, woman to woman?".

Sometimes the wife leaves and the husband shows up in the kids' school and says wife no longer has access to them (legal battle ensues). You leave and his family show up, armed with emotional blackmail "don't let her scatter your home!". A pastor sees an opportunity to fleece a distraught person and begins to encourage "Spiritual battle, watch War Room, and oh, give generously amidst your tears". It's a lot o. And I have seen some cases where what was needed was Violence to cure the side chic of her audacity but the wife unlooked and she and her kids paid horribly.

It's easy to say "Just Leave" but not many Nigerian women have the support (financial and emotional) to continue afterwards. We can all ginger her here but how many of us will follow her to every prolonged court date till she wins custody of her kids? When the man repossesses the shop he paid rent on, that she uses to sustain herself, who shows up at her door with foodstuffs and school fees? Sometimes, facing the side chic ends up being the more winnable battle.

It's not everyone you will fight, just look for the biggest, stupidest one and fvck her life up. The others will quickly realize that to born pikin for your husband or demand for more money than what he pays for schoolfees is a bad idea and humble themselves. Plus, they will never call him in the evening. That is the deal one Lagos politician's wife has made clear. I even saw comments on an anonymous blog where different girls were like "abeg don't near him too much, his wife is crazy".

dominique:
My mum gisted me of a case that happened when she was in school. A woman and her friends stormed into her hostel to fight with one of her hostel mates. She demanded that the girl must leave her husband alone or else she would deal with her. The girl clapped back by telling her to face her man and stop disturbing her. By then her own friends were already there to support her. The fight got ugly and security eventually came in and walked the woman and her friends out of the hostel. While being walked out, they were heaped with insult from different girls all around the hostel. Imagine the embarrassment she brought upon herself while her husband was probably enjoying himself with another side-chick.

She didn't handle it well. I have seen a wife handle a side chic so beautifully that the side chic washed her face free of makeup, plaited all back (she was flaunting to the wife when the wife verbally confronted her that "your husband paid for my human weave" ), wore Ankara dress from neck to ankle and went to the wife's customer in Balogun and knelt down and told her to beg the wife to leave her alone.

Before any battle, choose your ground and tactics wisely. Think like a General and plan a good attack or lure into the best trap.

Why will I go to a hostel filled with hungry single girls, half of them depending on a man somewhere, to fight? Does that babe not go out alone elsewhere? Someone else I know had her friend create job advertisement to lure the side chic to fake interview. She pranced there unsuspectingly (worse, carrying handbag Oga bought her). She met the beating of her life, they stripped her nekkid, took pics of her and promised to share flyers of her pics to her church. The gist went round and every singleton whom had collected the husband's number gave themselves brain . and the wife calmly made sure Oga knew why girls were no longer returning his calls, whilst serving him dinner. He too gave himself brain.

To be honest, sometimes a wife is fighting for more than a man. When you see your kids being neglected because your husband is lost to all except pleasure and you know he's being encouraged by someone who should know better, you run mad. Both husband and side chic should be punished. And there are clever ways to do so.

Ifyalways and Dominique, gotta disagree on this issue. I prefer to judge each situation on a case-by-case basis. I have seen cases of innocently duped single girls, pursued by married men masquerading as singletons. Those ladies are quick to flee when the wife appears.
However, I know twice the amount of cases where the single girl is actively giving the married man more than enough green light so that he is flattered and pursues and they withdraw so he chases. And let us not deceive ourselves, the main reason for this behavior is the Nigerian environment and economy: in a land of $43mil lying idle, why should I suffer and struggle for a share of the goodies when there's a man somewhere with fragile ego and open wallet, waiting to meet me?

Sorry men, if a single girl is "shyly" letting you toast her and acting all helpless and "emotional" like she can't resist your charm, nne it's your wallet that is moving her. She gats bills to pay and the smart ones will deny wanting your money until you are begging them to take it. They will collect eventually, all whilst protesting it's you they love, not the meagre, average-sized or ginormous bank account attached to you. Fact.

70% of the cases I hear about are scenario 2. And you can catch the girls easily. When they defensively get angry and attack the wife and tell her to "face her front and her husband", just calmly ask them "but did you take money/gifts from him, knowing he was married?". The brazen ones will try and defend it, the ones with small sense of shame will shut up.

After all, last year I sat through a conversation with a brazen one (who secured her position permanently with a baby) that "it was not her fault, the man chased her, the wife is okay with the situation, there is an innocent child involved, how dare people judge her". She conveniently neglected to mention she met the married man through his wife and decided to "help herself" to a more secure financial standing through him. I saw the way some girls in a Spa/Salon treated a wealthy relative when he came for a haircut: all flirty smiles and "shy" soft giggles and fluttering. His wife walked in and gbam, utter professionalism from them (they suddenly remembered that they had Company Policy about extras sef). I'm pretty sure those girls will be there, telling aggrieved wives to "face their front and their husband" when they are caught exchanging texts at midnight with a married man.

Thank God I was single and pursued by married men once. The conversations never went past 2 days and they disappeared. Now ask why. And ask yourself "are these girls truly innocent?".

modath:
You are welcome... Congrats milady....

@ General house.....

Been a while my pipo, how una dey?

We're good. How are you guys? What brings you to these parts (you don born ghen ghen gheennnn)

These are actually not bad ideas.

viexcey:
I'm so glad to hear this. Yayyyy. You welcome anytime.

Hello, saw your pm. Could you hint me first what's up? Thank you.

[quote author=katchycouture post=55399742][/quote]Sorry, I think the best thing to do is review your case with your Dr.

thorpido:
Diazepam is a muscle relaxant.Your doctor is trying to control your elevated blood pressure. Most drugs have their side effects but sometimes you use it when the benefits outweigh the risks.A constantly elevated blood pressure in pregnancy can lead to pre-eclampsia which is a serious issue to deal with.
I'm sure your doctor placed you on low dose which you have to use for just few days so it's safe.
If your BP continues to stay elevated,you will be managed till you get to 37weeks and your choice will be a C/S to bring the baby out because that's the only solution to the hypertension.
Cut off salt intake too and try to take foods rich in potassium like oranges,tomatoes etc and drink lots of water.

There was something I wanted to mention to you about Gestational Diabetes and Protein levels in Urine last year. I even wanted to write a post about it, like early warning signs for pregnant women, but things changed my mind. If I get the info, I'll pass it on to you via pm.

Ynnk:
@Onegai
The common Nigerian yarn such as yeye is plain acrylic. If you happen to come across a store that stocks foreign wool, then you may be lucky to get pure wool, cotton yarn and more.
Most yarn balls are 50g or 100g as stated on the label.

Thanks