₦airaland Forum

You go, girl! Must watch and hit social media for her.

Hullo again! Here with some more ideas about toddler meals or solids.

In addition to all the sweet potatoes, avocados and co, introduce fruit and spices to your baby. From 6 months, there are a lot of safe, nutritious spices. Because baby food (the westerneised ones we are used to) is very bland. And I think that's why babies vex and suddenly refuse to eat anything.

Try Quaker oats, add a pinch of salt when cooking it (to reduce the amount of sugar needed to sweeten it), add cinnamon, milk and grate fresh pear inside it. You can add a small bit of honey if the child is over 12 months.

Boiled plantain with lightly tried tomatoes, pepper and beef.

Banana, flour and eggs mashed together and pour into a frypan with butter to make pancakes. Serve with butter.

For Oatmeal cookies, add combined flour, baking soda, cinnamon, salt and nutmeg; mix well. Add oats; mix well. Drop dough by rounded tablespoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake 8 to 9 minutes for a chewy cookie or 10 to 11 minutes for a crisp cookie.

Rice, stew, with mixed veggies and add slices of apple (boil it in the rice). Or cook turkey with Apple and green beans and grate carrots over it. Add a touch of nutmeg.

Eggs with milk and small ginger. Garlic is good too.

Moin-moin is not bad either. And wheat bread with mayonnaise. Also, give lots of fruits but avoid too many acidic fruits for now (Orange, pineapple, strawberries, raw tomatoes).

Look up Indian and Mexican food ideas because our food resembles them more than American and British food (which is what you find more on sites like Babyentre). And those sites will make recommendations like Broccoli and Cauliflower, which in Nigeria is horrendously expensive (N1400 per head of Broccoli alone) and your child may not even like it. You can buy it once in a while and use it for the entire house (stirfry) but I personally won't do it weekly. And it doesn't store well (maybe because it's not fresh when it's flown in). I've tried.

Forgot to add: Chicken and meat stock is really good for kids. I add it to scrambled egg. However, I don't cook with Maggi so you may want to have that in mind.

And you can eat all these as well. I know my fridge can be filled with rather repetitive meals and I get bored, Himself gets bored and Baby E gets bored. So we try new stuff.

If your parents were married legally, she can take your step-brother to court and get him to sell the house and divide the profits equally or settle for living there for the remainder of her life. There was a court case not too long ago about an Igbo lady who took her siblings or uncles to court to inherit and she won. So there is precedence. You need a good lawyer who specialises in these things.

OlaNiran107:
Hi. Got dat 100%. HIV test's been done ovassionally on both parties. Tried reaching out to the kid's mum but they're hell bent on no marriage rites, nothing to talk about. Sent family over but they get hostile at them. Sincerly, i think i should just let them breathe. D kid's gonna be fine. Thanks for your advice though. And yea, no more random sexual encounters.

They are treating you like this because they are most likely Nairalanders and based on what they read here, think their daughter's life is over and she will never marry. So are trying to force her on you. If you and the mother could talk away from parents, and you could convince her that "look, let us take our time to sort ourselves out. Because if I am forced to marry you without liking you for the sake of my child, I may cheat on you and deal with you to the point that you will have a special spot on the carpet in front of MFM pulpit. Just read Nairaland if you think I'm lying". Women who have had better starts to marriage have suffered even more, talkless of your situation.

You can speak to a lawyer but I guess your parents assume that eventually when school starts, the sinking economy will force them to the table and they can handle things amicably.

RiloKiley:
I'm not interested in joining any crowd or thorpido or whatever cliques u guys have going on here. I'll make my own assertions and come to my own conclusions, thank you very much.

And yes I have gone to "another country" and have relatives living there still. I know nursing is very lucrative and a lot of women use that as thier first choice to contribute to the upkeep of the house. I also know the sacrifices the men make to get thier wives into nursing school in the first place.

Nobody knows the full story, neither do you. I doubt any sane man would get frustrated with his wife if she was well behaved and contributed to upkeep and was responsible. I am not supporting his actions in any way but at the same time I am aware there are some things our women do over there that can drive a man crazy, even to the point of murder. That's my point.

I am not aware I wrote anything outrageous in my post , if u think I did then feel free to point it out.

Dude, you act like you are part of a clique. Which is why I mentioned you should try and listen to the person I assume isn't playing any sides here. Because all of them here in this section, I'm convinced they are all sending nudes to each other on pm

There is no such thing as a sane person. Your definition of sane and mine won't match the guy's defintion down the street. Stvpidity, however, is letting someone push you to the point where you throw your life away. If the husband had kept quiet for so long, nothing stopped him from handling this is a manner not calculated to get an Assault and Domestic Violence charge slapped on his forehead. There is no plea bargain like "she pushed me to it, your honour".

And I'm going to leave things there.

OlaNiran107,

Dude, do you want your life's story to one day make a HIV pamphlet?? You dated a girl who wasn't steady with you and got her pregnant, you are dating another girl who isn't steady with you. That is a lot of other sexual partners you are exposing yourself too.

Now! Here's what we are gonna do: we are going to stop dating. Until we are sure of whom we are. We are not going to come to NL Romance section or Family section for more advice (because we will go from "maybe gonna end up on a HIV pamphlet" to "yep, that is definitely me on that HIV pamphlet" because of the bad advice we are given). We will get our heads right: just enjoy staying with yourself, no chicks and if you do meet some interested ones, please inform them you are a father and are not looking for anything permanent right now (also, bring a condom. Super important, that last bit). But we will try avoiding random se.xual encounters and learn what a relationship should be (trust, love, respect, understanding, humour) with our pants on. We will contact our daughter's mother and insist on getting Visitation rights and paying for whatever financial responsibilities for the upkeep of our daughter brings. We will not marry the mother, but apologise to her for the craziness of Life and tell her that we do not want our child to suffer for our mistakes. We will apologise to the mother (do it. I don't want to explain it but please do it). We will spend time with our daughter.

And life will eventually reward us with some peace. Do we want an e-hug so we know everything is going to be okay?

RiloKiley:
Fine, I agree he wasnt civilized in his approach.
I'm glad your example also included a woman acting in an unruly behaviour. You will agree that its actually possible the woman of that husband actually misused her powers in U.S hence the man's annoyance , so much so that some offered to continue beating the wife for him while others told him to forgive and forget. No one absolved the woman from wrongdoing. The woman herself did not deny the allegations but in fact was remorseful.


A lot of ladies go over there to the US and with thier newfound freedom and "rights", behave very badly. They frustrate the men who worked an arm and a limb to get them there in the first place. The men feel that they have done their all for this woman, the least she can do is show gratitude, loyalty and respect. When the woman decides instead to take advantage of the situation and humiliate the man then u can be rest assured the man will seek his own pound of flesh when he has the chance.

One does not shoot his foot trying to cure a nail infection. This guy did. If his wife documents her bruises, goes to the U.S. embassy, files a police report and gets a restraining order and makes it public, he can kiss a lot of his life in the U.S. goodbye. Unless he's a blue collar worker. Even multinationals in Nigeria are beginning to act once a domestic charge has been filed (at the next evaluations, someone will be found "wanting" ). And have you ever gone to another country or lived there? It takes 2 to survive so what it this "after all he has done for her", did she get there, hit the couch, Amazon, the mall and the remote control whilst he slaved away? Do you realise a lot of Nigerian women become nurses just to support their husnands as he tries to establish himself? And Nursing is a strenuous career anywhere in the world. Relocation is a two-man job. Marriage and building a successful life is a two-man job. No party should get more applause than the other because they need each other. She was not right, but he humiliated himself: if I were there and i saw him elsewhere, I'd nudge everyone and tell them "that's that aggressive man we saw beating his wife at the airport". And everyone will call him a bush animal and village monkey and say this is why we can't have nice things. it's only people from poor backgrounds that accept such behaviour as normal. Like my dad would say: "you fight the danfo driver, fight at a wedding for souvenirs, fight the next person for your share when a politician throws change in the air, fight your wife because dinner isn't ready, fight the landlord. No-one can blame you, you are merely living out what your social status demands of you".

Try not to join the crowd here and follow sensible adults like Thorpido. There was a line you wrote I was going to address, but the answer would upset a lot of people.

eagleccentric:
I wasn't referring to your quote pls, i was referring to HARDBUOI or whatever his/her name is. Your post may have come in while i was writing so its as if i was referring to you. BTW, your post was quite educative. Thanks

Okay bros. No vex

RiloKiley:
Many women of this generation are highly ignorant of what makes a man tick.

You really think a man will simply start beating his wife in public at the airport for no reason. Simply because he is a wife beater?
Ok.

Yes, I believe so. One has no idea how lawless Nigeria is. Case in point: I boarded a plane at Heathrow and everyone queued up in an orderly manner to pass Immigration and final boarding. 6 hours later, those same people landed at Muritala Mohammed Airport and started jostling and fighting each other for space on the Immigration queue, to the point that one man loudly declared "I will slap you this woman! You don't have husband to give you training!" And the woman replied others "don't mind him!" And people had to step in and defuse the situation. Same people, different countries.

What stopped this man from tabling his grievance in the privacy of his house, with his family and her family there? Let the issue be sorted out properly. Instead he beat her in public. If that wife has a U.S. passport, she can still mess him up o. He won't be the first that had a wife who nursed a grudge and went back home to finish what he started. Violence has never solved anything in the long run.

dahmie2013:
Thanks 4 d questn. We have sweeping, dusting, removing cobwebs, scrubbing toilets & bathroom, washing & mopping. Understd dat some women don't like doing these tasks. Dey find it difficult & time consuming.

All those tasks you listed above, most people would rather do them than wash and iron. That's why washermen exist a lot. Plus, if you are hired only once a week, your client has to pay N25,000 or N31,000 per month, for 4 days of work. For that price, you can easily get an adult live-in help who will do all and more, daily, in Lagos. So you've priced yourself out of the market. Anyhoo, all the best.

Eketem gave pretty good advice. It's good you came to vent here. Get it out of your system. You have nothing to do with the mother of the child and neither does your husband. He should parent his daughter fully and take up any responsibilities. You should treat her politely. Don't expect a relationship overnight and don't ask for one. Let things move at a natural pace. The worst mistake to make it is to start pretending all is well and be hugging and overdoing things. Focus on supporting your husband through this and your future babies.

Trump really is a bad idea. He wants to isolate the U.S. by fire by force. This seems good but he supports Putin (who wants to annex former parts of USSR back to Russia) and will leave Europe to its fate (against ISIS and growing Islamic Radicalization). Then he wants to deport American Muslims (which means he will anger the ones living there and they will start radicalising in larger numbers). Basically, think of WW2 all over again. But instead your useless morons in Africa will be supporting ISIS to destabilise their own countries. So Nigeria will be involved. Not Boko Haram but the group which will form after them.

Hillary will at least make Immigration tougher for Middle Easterns and Muslims (she has to, because the people of the U.S. want that, they just don't want to say it out loud, Americans are very good at wanting one thing and saying another). And she understands that Putin wants to drag Europe into a needless war. And she will continue working with Europe to build a network of Intelligence to keep everyone safe from further terrorist attacks.

But whoever wins, they will have to force the Muslim world to deal with this crisis going on within them. Because one day, the world will have had enough and no more political correctness, no more kid gloves. The mother of one of the Belgium attackers lost 2 sons and said when she went to report her son to his mosque that he was becoming radicalized, the imams told her "why are you trying to stop him? He's going to fight with his brothers in ISIS". The solution to these attacks lies in the Muslim leaders. Same as how if Nigeria wants to clean up her image, the solution lies with us, not with telling everyone excuses like "we were colonised! We are not given visas! Our country is poor from foreign companies exploiting us!". All true but that doesn't mean Nigerians have a right to become scammers and drug mules.

princey83:
Even if you are the chief justice of the state, you would be fined aslong as you find yourself in the wrong side of the law. If there was prior warning like traffic signs, then the fine would stay. i dont believe anyone is above the law sanctioned bu the state government. "Do you know who i am would not work". lol

But that's the point: the places they are operating in, do they have signs saying "No parking"?

Saintdennis, the Festac spot they were seizing plates, those people parked on a residential street. They actually parked beside the bank.

Got ý

saintdennis:
I was in a bus to the immigration office opp shoprite & the bus driver refused to open his door until her parked well in the b/s

His response to the angry passenger was na u go pay my fine?

Also why plead guilty if u didn't err? Stop kidding yourself the driver might not have been aware of the traffic law he flouted my bro too has been accosted for parking (on the part of the road for peeps turning right) while he waited. For green light.(THO I DONT KNOW YOUR CASE)

Even that woman (am very sure) is being economical with the truth about where she parked did she park in skye bank premises or on the road? (yes there might be some false charges) but i've experienced MANY where the rrs & monitoring unit were correct.

A year/2 from now other states will start implementing theirs. Street hawking is illegal as far DANFO drivers? C'mon we all know flouting traffic laws is their hobby.

I believe I saw them doing this outside the intersection of Zenith and some other bank in Festac last week. Those banks don't have ample parking provided so what are customers to do? If the government and private entity provide parking, then yes, let it be on your head for not parking in the right place. But to penalise people when you've not done your job...no way, Jose.

Let them try it with the wrong crowd...someone parks somewhere right and legal and you pull off his license plate and charge him to Magistrate court and then you find out that he's a SAN. Or some Government official or someone else with pull. Either it will end the scheme or they will beg and return his plates. So just pray they go after someone with clout who gets angry enough to challenge it in a court of law. As long as you are parked somewhere properly and rightfully, they should not be able to do this to you and you should fight them.

Schwartz:
I took my time to read this story. From my observation the girl wasn't charmed:
""As I always did I called Blessing when I woke up that morning to alert her that I was awake and she could come to the main house (she stayed in the bq) but I noticed that her phone was switched off. She later came in and I asked""
They slept and woke up and she ran away with the money. Then at what time did she run into the jazz people? During her sleep? If the money she stole was much I won't doubt if she has used part to bribe the police as well. Her sister shouting on the OP that she ruined her shows that they are working together.
And for those who didn't read she was employed in December 2015 while this incident happened in March. All within a space of 4 months of hiring a total stranger into your home.

Dude, just forget people here. The OP mentioned "travel, help, Oniru". Those are code words that made them sympathise with a thief over the victim. I've seen it happen several times in Nigeria: come and claim they stole your Honda, people pray for you. Come and say they stole your Range Rover, it becomes your fault.

Please leave her name and picture and credentials up there.

OP, a lot of people in Nigeria are criminals. Even the girl who scammed me this year, denied it furiously and claimed God and all sorts. Our last help publicly swore she stole nothing, until her agent brought my ATM cards back from where she had hidden them in another house, after she had left. We didn't recover the phone and other things she stole. If we all keep exposing thieves like this, crime will go down. That is the only thing that keeps Nigerians honest: fear of being treated like the criminals they are. Keep sentiment aside and do the right thing because by the end of the year, another innocent victim will go online and see this story and realise that there are a lot of liars and thieves out there.

The police let her go because they don't know their work
And they couldn't be bothered to prosecute her. She was guilty.

All these people saying "let her go", will they give me their account number and allow me empty their accounts, after all, jazz is popular in my area, I could be jazzed na. They don't need to eat or pay bills, they should understand and forgive me! It's because you sound financially comfortable, so they think you have plenty and won't miss it. If you said the money was for your rent in Ketu, these people will have fished her out by now.

Keep her story out there! Let her be ruined. Anybody can claim being jazzed, heck I steal money I will claim jazz because I know the millions of gullible Nigerians out there will let me go scotfree.

Let us all be responsible for our actions.

TheLeakyTribe I'm advising you, keep her pictures and names there! You won't get sympathy from people that don't understand. Name and shame. I support you.

I like being helpful!

I was on Broad street today and remembered CSS Bookshop used to exist back in the there. Turns out, they are still there! CSS Bookshop is probably the oldest bookshop in Nigeria (I believe I was told that were established in the 1800s).

They've got a huge selection of Children's books and I believe this is the cheapest I've seen them (barring those selling second-hand on the streets around CMS). Prices start from N350.

They are on Broad street, Lagos Island, at the junction of Tantalisers and PEP store. There is also a library across them, open to the public. They also have branches in Kaduna, Port Harcourt, Abuja and Apapa.

eagleccentric:
six weeks is the recommended period but some women heal fully much earlier than that. Depends on how she heals.

And for above comment, this is family section pls.

But do you realise it is the "Family section", not the "Religious (False Morality) Section"? Do you want to take a minute to think that the OP said adults only?

Nigerians are funny: a husband comes to ask married couples about sexuality within his marriage. An apparently single guy gets uncomfortable with details. Because Sex is dirrrttyyyy, even if God created the organs for it and has santicified it during Matrimony

Anecdotally, I think for most women it's back to normal at 4 months after. Are we scaring her? I wish I had known these things, so I would have been more prepared as to what happened rather than "surprise!".

OP, it's not all bad and it's not all pushing daisies. It's actually the best time to bond with your husband, if he plays his cards right and you do your part, your marriage will be strengthened smiley and so many girls do 3 hours of pushing, produce a baby and are back to business as usual 1 month after. Every woman is different.

it's Mother Nature's way of protecting the species (after doing her best to kill it grin). Nature wants to make sure the newborn gets the best chance at survival and nurture by Exclusive Breastfeeding, Baby's need for constant attention (the human being is the most helpless of all animals at birth, it could die easily compared to all other animals) and Hormonal changes which affect her libido. This makes the mother not want to get pregnant anytime soon so she pushes the father away because she's not in the mood for sex. And the newborn gets breastmilk and attention required during the crucial stages.

So most women are fine by 4 months postpartum but depending on things like how traumatic labour was, it could take longer for some mums. So yeah, sex will be going through the motions for that time (your doctor will recommend KY jelly and encourage you to be patient with madam). The best way to overcome this is for the husband to help out with the baby and domestic chores. I'm serious. A nurse asked mothers in Healthcare section and almost all of them replied that the more the husband helped out, the more sex happened. Your wife will feel guilty and want to reward you for your loving care. Mentally what happens is that she acknowledges you're part of the parental bond when you do so and welcomes you back in (it will take a while before she becomes enthusiastic but at least you will be shining her Congo till then).

http://www.whattoexpect.com/family/6-common-sex-after-pregnancy-problems-and-solutions

http://www.babycenter.com/0_lets-talk-about-sex-after-the-baby_11802.bc

I kind of feel they should make fathers attend birthing classes or antenatal classes once in a while. Someone should organise these Mommy-Daddy-and-Me classes

It's an emotional response, not just physically. Do the above mentioned and take things slow.

fav444:
I think we are also from the same church

Please tell me it is not the Catholic church doing this rubbish?? When I was getting married, they asked that I be a member of the parish (Family was) and Baptismal card.

I don't need to be part of a group and I'd appreciate if everyone not part of my life stayed away. I don't need some people i never knew showing up to show false grief over me. Why should I join part of a group in church if I don't want to? The one that irks me is when people show up at the house to console the family and they are expecting a fantastic meal, that's way before the burial o. As in, my aunt lost her adult son and people were showing up and grumbling that there was "no Malt, just Mineral, not enough food nko" and were laughing merrily and her sisters were there rushing about trying to feed everyone until one sister got pissed and asked publicly "is this a party, should I put on party clothes?" And their shame made people get angry at her for being truthful.

And I truly hate all those grasping relatives that randomly show up, shedding fake tears when you know for a fact that they hated your lost one and hadn't called in years. And why fight over souvenirs?? If you get one, isn't that enough, do you need everything they share??

greg7:
@Onegai: the sad truth is, this is Nigeria and not USA or England where everything is structured and organized, here in this country the internet is very porous and anyone can go online and pick up and employ any information or material without even the slightest suspicion that it maybe someone else' patented property. Its not right i agree but its the atmosphere under which we have all found ourselves and do business and the likes under.
If the intellectual or otherwise property that is actually patented of anyone is xeroxed or employed in any manner without the permission of the owner, the simple thing for the owner to do is to contact the defaulter and issue a warning with proof of the copyright (given that it is only wrong to use the material ONLY if it is PATENTED) because the defaulter might have no idea whatsoever that he/she is actually defaulting because of the porousness of the internet.
So in this case, may i humbly suggest that the rightful owner of these pictures should please send me a direct mail on gregtega@gmail.com to inform me of my supposed infringement along with proof that the materials are actually patented because from where i sit, this is quite a simple issue, we are all humans, you might need something from me tomorrow too, so whats the biggie if we trade favours here and there every once in a while.
You could also call me on my direct line 08183387283 as well and we can easily sort this imbroglio out without any hoopla.
Thank you

My dear, one day, you are going to have a lot of fun about this issue. Not now, later. Take care of yourself

Well done! We are planting veggies in containers as well. I'm curious, why didn't you use fresh tomato seeds from here? Like from the ones sold in the market?

Can this man not be expelled from the Church? How dare he bring disrepute to the Holy Order? Why can't he leave and start his own Pentecostal ministry and be making money? What is the Archbishop doing??

OP your story is a joke. You cannot file a petition and be granted even under 1 year in a Lagos Court unless you can prove Exceptional Hardship or Exceptional Depravity. You also need to prove a year's abandonment, public drunkenness, abuse or adultery to start filing. You cannot even file a Motion and you certainly cannot get married, move out under 2 months and get a legal petition for divorce, you will be advised to wait a year to see if your spouse contacts you and attempts reconciliation. Unless you are saying the document was typed by a lawyer and not filed. Take a picture of the petition and send it to me, or I label you a liar.

I see you have a blog as well and are calling for a super mod to move this story to the frontpage the idiotic stories people tell on NL for fame or self-promotion or scamming is getting so boring that truly I've been thinking of leaving this site. Let me go and waste my data elsewhere.

greg7:
its the clothes am selling not the models, i honestly do not see any biggie in using her pics to sell the same outfits, its not like the pic itself is patented na. am a small start-up thats trying to sell, whats the biggie in borrowing model pics when i have the same outfits in stock?

So I guess you won't mind one day if I use your pictures and hard work in getting models, styling them and snapping, to sell my business. No problem. And the pictures are under copyright (which is actually a law that is enforced in Nigeria and yes, I know someone who has dealt with some small startup who tried what you are doing). The fact that your customers know you are using someone else's business in Lagos to falsely advertise your store just makes you look very shady and dishonest. But it is up to you, maybe you think it is too much work to beg your friends to pose and use their pictures.

Nigerians: do wrong stuff and declare they are right and ask God to bless it.

The police has announced that the shooter was confirmed to be a German-Iranian guy. They are saying he acted alone.

Kazrem:
Wow!!!
I love this. Want to go subsistence farming now. Can I pm you?

I don't have a lot of info on it but why not check Agriculture section. There is quite a bit of info there on subsistence farming

netotse:
Maybe it's changed then, the boat ride was a separate item you could choose not to have them pick you up, it was 20K per trip.

I just confirmed, it's no longer per head. It's per room and it's still 60K.

It was Late 2014 I wanted to go there.

Oh okay. Coolness.

netotse:
if you mean casailashe, it's per head o...not per night...made the mistake of asking. It was also 60K then.

Is that with the boat ride? The boat ride was N 70k and the villa was about N50k and that was in December.

I'm growing spring onions, garlic and leaks in cans in my balconey. Will try tomatoes, lemons and carrots next. Here's some I harvested yesterday for a sauce. Urban Gardening makes sense.

Ilashe beach. But hold your money, even the boat ride is expensive. And renting a villa is like N50,000 per night.