₦airaland Forum

@OP : a three'some

When some of you psychos on NL throw out garbage from moving vehicles or dump them on street corners una no know say e go block drainage? Besides whats wrong with some nigerians? I have seen worst flood pictures from American,European and Chinese cities. Are we so cursed that whenever anything negative happens in our country,we elevate it and turn it into an abomination of some sorts,forgetting the fact that it can happen anywhere?

Central Hotel Ibadan: This must have been where Pa awolowo lost his virginity

Ibadan is still a nice town,all the rusted roofs gives it that ancient ambience,if this was Europe Ibadan would be a world heritage town. Though the modern skyline around Dugbe area ought to be expanding,but its not.

[size=13pt]Unrealistic expectations is the beginning of many failed marriages. To all single folks out there,mark my words:
1. After marriage ,you will not feel like phucking everyday.
2. When kids arrive,your sex drive will drop further,both of u will have to be very creative in sustaining your sex lives.
3. your priorities will change after marriage,its going to be all about bills,bills and bills.
4. For those of you who may still have a sustained hyper sex drive even after marriage,be prepared to have an extra marital affair.
5. For others,marriage is not hollywood or nollywood,its a sacrifice but unlike other sacrifices,a good marriage still manages to offer longterm joy.
6.Finally,there's no such thing as a bad marriage,there can only be bad couples.[/size]

[size=15pt]This world is not ours,death will surely come to us all,may God help us to be prepared for our own time,WHENEVER it comes.

PS: Some nairalanders need to shut up and stop using every opportunity to highlight Nigeria's problems and abuse the government. Many have been blaming bad roads, forgetting that most accidents occur on well paved roads. Bad roads actually force cars to slow down. Still no excuse for our governments failures though. Let's just honour the dead!

RIP Mc Loph.[/size]

Oh my goodness,NAYAH seems to have won many hearts on NL. I like NAYAH too,but unfortunately on a fora like this just because some Nairalander placed 'f' on their profile,doesnt really mean they are actually females. Nayah may end up being some guy based in warri.
Having saaid that,permit me to also join others and declare my crush on Nayah,who ever he or she or 'it' is, all na Crush nah,7up and Pepsi still dey!

I think the only eye opener the core north needs is when all southern Nigerian states come togerther and give the north an ultimatum to either catch up or merge with Niger or Chad. The few northern states which are catching up quite well like Plateau,Southern Kaduna,Southern Bauchi and Parts of Nassarawa and Adamawa are been threaten by the jealousy filled Hausa/Fulani illiterate,islamic fundamentalists.

@Nayah:
Dont worry about them jare,Tonto and Vicker will sort themselves out. As a matter of fact they may already be sorting themselves out in the bedroom (cos,i'm sure thats where their quarrel,started,LOL )while we are here bickering over their palaver on NL.

Nayah,
I was just answering Kajina's question o. You oughta know by now that i dont take all these comparisms that seriously. But,i have interacted with quite a number of other Africans. Traditionally, Africans are generally proud of their heritage,regardless. However,from my very small travels,i have noticed some trends. The francofone Africans u just mentioned are proud too,but when they stand side by side with a pure french man or woman,they tend to shrink, i could be wrong tho'!!! But if you ask about Nigerians anywhere in the world,u are most likely going to hear the word(s) proud & arrogant,ok well,you may also hear 'crook' too!

Posted by: Kajina
Insert Quote
Quote from: Shokoloko on Today at 12:19:26 PM
Hmmm, I'd rather suffer of superiority complex than inferiority complex, which majority of Ghanaians suffer.


Can you tell me what is the definition of inferiority complex, and how does it apply to Ghanaians? By the way I have read several times on forums where some Nigerians say South Africans also suffer from inferiority complex. So I ask, can you give me a list of other Africans who also belong in this inferiority complex group and those who don’t?

If you don’t have anything to say to defend Tonto’s actions, don’t try changing the topic at hand to a Ghana vs Nigeria bashing. As you can see there are other Nigerians on this forum who are also arguing from my point of view and I believe they will not want to be drawn into a bashing battle between 2 countries. I am not ready for that either.

@ Kajiana
Africans who belong to the superiority complex group:
1. NIGERIANS
2. WHITE SOUTH AFRICANS
3. ANGOLANS
4. ARAB NORTH AFRICANS

Africans who belong to the inferiority complex group:
1. GHANAIANS
2. BLACK SOUTH AFRICANS
3.THE REST OF SUB SAHARAN AFRICA.


Dispute this,    

^^ lol Publisher humm I'd summarize like this : Many have seen this on Nigeria vs Ghana and bashing ghanaians thinking they're overreacted( which I think it's quite true)
But for now I see TD as an irresponsible young lady, who has an amazing potential
See what showstopa has said " Nigeria is the proverbial big brother who disrespected himself so much his silly little brothers do not have any regards for him.It's what you get when you don't get your acts right".


That's the core of the issue

@Nayah
I hate all dem Ghana/Naija comparisms,the truth is that none of these countries have gotten their acts right totally,thats why we are called developing nations. But truth be told,there are some areas where both nations have 'tried'. In music for example,Nigeria has really overtaken South Africa in that dept.,Ghana from what people say have also done well in electricity. I think the issue is this,i was in Accra in 2007/08. And everywhere i went from Teshie lungwa to Dankwa circle and Osu,Nigeria seemed to be on everyones lips,mainly negative,very few positives. But believe me,forget what u read on nairaland,MOST Nigerians dont even care about Ghana,we dont see Ghana as a threat in ANYWAY,for some,they just see Accra as a good holiday spot and business expansion,same way we see Cotonou,Lome,Banjul etc. Many Nigerians dont even know the name of Ghana's current president,everyone seems to remember Jerry Rawilings though. Most Nigerians only remember Ghana when 1.pending football match with super eagles,  2. a certain bag and    3. Whenever some Nigerian journalists want to castigate the Nigerian govt. on certain failures,then you'll hear things like 'even in Ghana they have achieved xyz, '!
Its all good sha, Ghana Nigeria bashing threads can be very entertaining sometimes

@Nayah:
The summary of this thread is that most Nigerians feel that in as much as Tonto is a spoilt brat,her issues with Vicker out to have been settled inside the directors office. Not 'some' Ghanaians ganging up and making it look like a quasi 'national issue', with threats!!!

I just stumbled on this recent article below from www.ghanacelebrities.com. The bolded area,methinks,highlights a major difference in the mindsets of Ghanaians and Nigerians. Please read:

Treat Us Like Celebrities - Ghanaian Actresses.
Actresses Roselyn Ngissah and Beverly Afaglo have bemoaned the way they are treated as celebrities in Ghana. Speaking in an exclusive interview with News-One last Friday, both actresses acknowledged there were celebrities in Ghana.

However, they said, as compared to their colleagues in the Western world, they were not celebrated. The reason, according to them, was “education”.

“We are in Africa and it is now that people are getting to understand what celebrity is and know how to celebrate the stars. We are not there yet. But gradually we are getting there.

Looking at the way people are treating us now and then, I think it is getting better. But we’ve not got there yet,” Roslyn Ngissah said. “You know someone sees you and goes like…if the person wants to say hi, then the person goes like oh it is her, it is not her.

But when we meet people who have travelled abroad and come back, when they meet us they are like ‘oh I want an autograph’ because they understand how to celebrate stars over there. It is not yet here but we are gradually getting there.

However there was a time I went a primary school and the children there were like they want autograph and I was surprised,” she disclosed. “Treat us like a celebrity and the celebrities that we are. Nothing more, nothing less.

If you see a celebrity or star out there and you want to talk to the person or she looks familiar, walk up to the person, talk to the person and chat with the person.

For me I wouldn’t be nasty or rude to people who walk up to me to find out if I am the one. It is not all about autographs. Me, if I see somebody I see as a role model, I will walk up to you,” she added.

“Sometimes when you go to the bank, they will make you join a long queue, they don’t want to care.

But there was this other bank I went to and a lady gave me chance. I am not saying treat me like a god. Sometimes there are people who have been in the bank for hours…somebody when they even see you they even get angry (sic).

For me, I have had too many experiences when it comes to people and how they celebrate stars. But I think we are getting there,” Roslyn concluded.

Beverly said even though she had not done many movies in Nigeria, as compared to Ghana, she got a lot of attention anytime she entered the Nollywood country.

“I realize that the only time people are excited when they see their celebrities most of the time is at premiere. After the premiere when they see you, oh yaa it is ok (sic),” Beverly added. “I love Nigeria. I have not done so much in Nigeria but anytime I got to Nigeria, the welcome is overwhelming.

Because of the fact that they know I am not a Nigerian and from another country, they are happy to see me. Even at the airport, the security and everybody is like I have seen you on TV, we love you,” Beverly added.

Both actresses called on fans and the public to celebrate their Ghanaian stars.

Roslyn and Beverly are popular figures in Ghana’s movies industry with a lot of movies to their credit.

Roslyn co-won the Ghana Movie Award best actress last year with actresses Jackie Appiah, Yvonne Okoro and Juliet Ibrahim.

Beverly on the other hand picked an award in Nigeria for her role in ‘About To Wed’ series.

Guess my small point here is that the only reason Ghanaians,well some of them,are overracting to this TontoVicker saga is cos,unfortunately Tonto is Nigerian.

@cap28: i want to asume that u live in the uk? Good. Please tell me,out of all the chinese,indians and pakistanis who own shops,restaraunts and other businesses in london,how many of them have university degrees? If they do,how many times do they make reference to it? U see,its blacks like u with deep inferiorty complex that spoil the image other other progressive blacks who travel abroad in order to expand their frontiers,and bring business back to Africa. Why wont oyibos maltreat ur type? Ur type are always liabilities with nothing to offer ur host communities except cheap labour unlike Asians and some smart Nigerians. The Nigerian group psquare and mohits crew recently had successful concerts in london,did u attend any? Did any white group or persons molest them? Didnt they just jejely make their money and return to Nigeria? And u are there sweeping subways and washing toilets with ur Bsc in Economics from Ife. Nna stay there o, mugu!

@cap28: i want to asume that u live in the uk? Good. Please tell me,out of all the chinese,indians and pakistanis who own shops,restaraunts and other businesses in london,how many of them have university degrees? If they do,how many times do they make reference to it? U see,its blacks like u with deep inferiorty complex that spoil the image other other progressive blacks who travel abroad in order to expand their frontiers,and bring business back to Africa. Why wont oyibos maltreat ur type? Ur type are always liabilities with nothing to offer ur host communities except cheap labour unlike Asians and some smart Nigerians. The Nigerian group psquare and mohits crew recently had successful concerts in london,did u attend any? Did any white group or persons molest them? Didnt they just jejely make their money and return to Nigeria? And u are there sweeping subways and washing toilets with ur Bsc in Economics from Ife. Nna stay there o, mugu!

Its high time Nairaland moderators find a way of banning Nigerian dishwashers,security guards and adult diaper changers based in Europe from making comments on serious issues concerning Nigeria. Their levels of frustrations has probably melted certain sections of their brains.
I'm serious o!!!

2good said:

@ Builder,
Thank you for your last post. I keep on saying that the reason why Africans are suffering everywhere is because they have been placed where they are by their fellow wicked black men but people are quick to point finger on the white man. If we are fine in Africa, will anybody think of going abroad? To get job in Nigeria, preference is given to foreigners by a black boss. When a black man is in thesame position with a white man in Nigeria, the white man is paid far more than the black man, but if a black man is in thesame position with a white man in a white mans country, they are paid thesame amount.
Why do we treat the white men like a god? That is the basis of the problem. People run abroad to face racism and lack of human respect because their country doesn't have anything better to offer them. Africans need to come together and think of how to make their life better rather than looking up to Europe/America/China for solution because that is the only way we can get respect from other race.
Have you notice that Haiti, the only solely black country in America is as poor as a typical African country and they got their independence from France as far back as 1804, just 28yrs younger than the United State(1776) and we can see the difference in both countries

@2good:
I dont think you really live in today's Nigeria and if you do and still think this way then i can only pity you. Yes,some Nigerians still look up to Oyibos as demi gods but beleive you me,there are lots and lots and lots of Nigerians who dont send white folks AT ALL. You mentioned that Nigerian bosses favour white staff or something like that? Listen ,if a foreign investor sets up shop in Nigeria,he has the right to bring in as much oyibos as he wants and his Nigerian supervisor cant do nothing about it. This happens anywhere in the world. But Nigerian owned businesses? We have over 20 banks in Nigeria,with branches in many parts of Africa and the world. Now tell me how many Nigerian banks have white MDs,CEOs,Directors,Administrators etc? Nigerians,black Nigerian are even being sent to work as expartriates in Many other African countries were these banks have branches. How many white staff have Dangote,Adenuga or Otedola employed in their various companies? The only area where your points may be valid is if you are talking about deep offshore oil explorations,yes,its dominated by foreigners cos Nigerians have limited capacity in that field but that could change soon.
Listen bro,dont let your frustrations on Nigeria's slow pace of development cloud your sense of reasoning. We are all frustrated but lets give credit to Nigeria whenever its deserved and let's criticize constructively. Also,you mentioned Haiti's underdevelopment,you forgot to mention that Haiti also shares the same border with another black nation called Dominican republic which has prospered in tourism,explain that?

PS: The Nigerian govt. did undertake a massive evacuation exercise on Nigerians stuck in Libya. Many Nigerians refused to come home thinking that they would still make it to Europe in spite of the confilict. We are all architects of our own fate. I wish them luck tho'

PLEASE LEAVE HER !!!
An influential member of her church is obviously interested in her,its a battle you can never win. Please go for a girl in either your own church or an othordox church i.e Catholics,Anglicans,Baptists,Methodist etc, i can bet you that you'll NEVER get such a revelation from a sister in those churches.

PS: If a pastor genuinely sees such a vision,the ideal thing would have been to PRAY against it,God listens,he is not wicked,that i know!

IBADAN is your best bet o. As a non yoruba,i was posted to IB for my nysc and i ended up staying there for three additional years. There are many affordable private schools in Ibadan,and the standard of education is very high. Food is relatively cheap (if you have a good job that pays Lagos standard salaries). There are lots of joints,clubs and recreational facilities. My favourite used to be 'sade eleja' at Mokola area. Dugbe and ring road areas are very commercial in nature. Old Bodija,New Bodija,Bashorun and even parts of Bere Oje have very nice residential areas. One thing that really tripped me about Ibadan was that unlike many old and even younger Yorubas i know in Lagos,IBADAN YORUBAS ARE VERY VERY VERY DETRIBALIZED. If you get into a public argument with an Ibadan indigene,other Ibadan people will usually rally around you,the non indigene(i experienced it twice). Also Ibadan Landlords dont discriminate on who they rent house to unlike what obtains in Lagos sometimes where some landlords ask for the ethnic group of an aspiring tenant before they decide to rent out their apartment.  I recommend Ibadan.

I would have recommended Jos,i've been there once and believe me its a magical city,except for the security concerns. However,a Jos resident once explained to me that if in Lagos there are constant battles and murders between area boys in Mushin,Agegunle and Okoko,does that mean the whole of Lagos is unsafe? In other words,most parts of Jos is peaceful but the flash points are thoroughly elevated by the local and international media.

@ajirebi20

Obviously,the excess oil and pepper in your soup(s) has diluted your brains. Kindly go and so-do-mize Awolowo's statue on Allen roundabout ikeja, cos that's clearly the only thing you'll ever be good at. First class mumu!!!!

ogugua88 said:

I hate the bolded so much. When I went to Nigeria, everyone was forcing western influence in my face. I didn't fly 6,000 miles to feel like I'm in the US.

Anyway, they've made a very good point. The west is always funny when it comes to music. There's some exposure in the UK for Nigerian artists. But the US? Hardly any. The US is strictly American/Western music. Breaking into the US scene without doing any collabo is beyond difficult, but I'm sure they're up for the challenge. I'd love to see them do it. If they try, I'll support them all the way.

I agree with everything u said,except the bolded area. I dont agree with the so-called western influence thing. Westerm music as we know it also borrowed lots and lots from other cultures. The music known as jazz originated from African slaves,you know that dont you. Same as most 'western' music instruments. The good part is that no matter how western any Nigerian song sounds,our artistes always go an extra mile to remind whoever is listening that their song is from Naija.

PS: Psquare is on point about the collabo issue and unknown to many haters,Psquare is the biggest act in Africa,they are bigger than D'banj (ask youtube), thats a fact. So they have no reason to beef him. Also Dbanj has got to be VERY careful in collaborating with African American Acts, they DONT like Nigerians o. They'ld rather do collabos with South Africans, their reasons are many. Another discussion for another day.

NBC may have truly banned the song initially, but have u guys forgotten that Dbanj was one of GEJ's chief campaign manager during the last elections? One fone call by the koko master to his friend 'Jona Jona' in Aso rock may have done the trick

@OP
Simply start an affair with another woman jare, Life is too short! But mark my words,when it comes to creeping around in relationships,women are always at the loosing end,on the long run. Be the MAN,and ensure you take care of the kids if and when your marriage eventually scatters. So,go out there,get a fresh,fine sista in her early or mid twenties,enjoy your life jorrrr, Life is short.
I'm serious o!

Nigeria still had the highest internet usership in Africa!

suicide!!!

If Buhari had won,he would be busy setting up committees to review all of Nigeria's problems. By the time his committee submits its report,Buhari's four year term would have been over,and his VP Bakare would be in self exile somewhere in UK.
Nigeria's problem is not ethinc,religious or whatever, its simply GREED and CORRUPTION.
Everyone is asking for sovereign national conference,will this so called conference also solve the persistent clamour for creation of new states from groups who belong to the same ethinic and religious groups? Or will all the Local government and boundary squabbles end? Is there any difference between the needs of Yorubas,Hausa,Igbo etc, such as Security,Health,Roads,Food,Housing,Education etc.
So when this conference starts Bola Tinubu and the illiterate Gani Adams will stand up and represent the interests of Yorubas abi? Ojukwu from his hospital bed or the semi illiterate Uwazirike will also stand up to represent Igbos,shey? Who will represent the interests of third generation tribes who have found themselves in regions other than their states of origin?

I tire!

Obasanjo could not handle niger-delta militants even when the entire country knew the identity of their leaders,is it GEJ that will now handle a faceless group with no known leader? GEJ is not a fool,Boko-Haram is CERTAINLY being sponsored by die-hard northern poiliticians who have lost in Nigeria's political equation. Boko-Haram attacks are meant to provoke the presidency to act decisively and probably arrest many 'northern' muslim leaders,when this happens,the people of muslim northern Nigeria will rise up against the preseidency and claim that they are being victimised because of their religion. The southerners will rise up and defend GEJ's actions,Nigeria will thus be the brink and GEJ's government would certainly fall. Cant you guys see what happened weeks back when the army turned on the heat on Boko-Haram in Maiduguri? Some Borno elders got up and accused the government of victimizing them. This is just a pointer to what they intend to do on a national scale. What GEJ requires is wisdom and lots of it,intense consultations and a stealth-like strategy,i think he will pull this through on the long run. At the end of it all,these experiences will make him one of Nigeria's strongest leaders ever. May God help us all.

Obasanjo could not handle niger-delta militants even when the entire country knew the identity of their leaders,is it GEJ that will now handle a faceless group with no known leader? GEJ is not a fool,Boko-Haram is CERTAINLY being sponsored by die-hard northern poiliticians who have lost in Nigeria's political equation. Boko-Haram attacks are meant to provoke the presidency to act decisively and probably arrest many 'northern' muslim leaders,when this happens,the people of muslim northern Nigeria will rise up against the preseidency and claim that they are being victimised because of their religion. The southerners will rise up and defend GEJ's actions,Nigeria will thus be the brink and GEJ's government would certainly fall. Cant you guys see what happened weeks back when the army turned on the heat on Boko-Haram in Maiduguri? Some Borno elders got up and accused the government of victimizing them. This is just a pointer to what they intend to do on a national scale. What GEJ requires is wisdom and lots of it,intense consultations and a stealth-like strategy,i think he will pull this through on the long run. At the end of it all,these experiences will make him one of Nigeria's strongest leaders ever. May God help us all.

Cant read the whole write up but i need to know why the op grouped being a foreigner with being a polygamist, divorcee, widower or whatever else he categorized up there.

What's wrong with a nigerian woman marrying a foreigner and can you explain why you see it as a bad thing.

There's nothing wrong with Nigerian woman marrying a 'black' foreigner,on the surface people may not care,but let me put it this way and let ur answer be 'true' or 'false'.
Whenever a Nigerian man is walking the streets of any Nigerian city hand in hand with his oyibo wife,people tend to hail and respect him,true or false?
When a Nigerian woman walks the streets of Nigeria with a white husband,people generally conclude that she's a loose,cheap,porn addict,'yeye' woman,true or false? Forget Kate Henshaw here o,inspite of her stardom people still talk, but who cares though?

When the notion of this world being a man’s world is raised, many women rights groups, quickly become agitated looking for any means to prove to us that men and women are equal. The western nations are ahead of us Africans in terms of guaranteeing equity between their male and female citizens. As a matter of fact, they have provided numerous legislations especially in areas of marriage that clearly favour their female folk. Today, in Europe, America and parts of Asia, when there’s a divorce, the woman is most likely a major beneficiary of the ‘spoils’ from the marriage, and the man? In most cases the men also tend to move on with life pretty fast, their only challenge being constant alimony and child support payments. With this scenario in place, one can conclude that women in these countries have attained full equal status with men, right? Wrong!   
In the United States, especially amongst the African American population, there’s a ‘baby mama’ boom. ‘Baby Mama’ is an American slang for describing single mothers, many are divorcées, others never married, and a very small population of them are widows or wives of convicts. In order to know how bad things are, at least in the United States, you need to watch some of their award shows, whenever an African American artiste comes on stage to receive an award, be sure that he or she is going to give thanks to God, ‘my mama’ or ‘my grandma’, hardly do you ever hear ‘daddy’. Many sociologists in the US believe that the immense marital legal protection women enjoy in their society has made it difficult for men/husbands to live in peace with their women/wives while exercising their (man’s) authority over her. Whether women in these advance societies are happier for it or not, is another discussion for some other day.
In Nigeria, of all the numerous things we love to copy from the west, we have graciously added the ‘baby mama’ syndrome to our endless list of man-made ‘wahalas’. In days gone by, Nigerian single mothers belonged to either of three categories; The First category was widows, second category was divorcees and the third category was wayward ladies.
In today’s Nigeria, single mothers are not necessarily wayward, divorced or widowed, we now have upwardly mobile, highly educated, young beautiful women who are proud single mothers or at least they tell us they are. Many of them are career women, financially independent and ready to mingle. About the mingling part, several issues always tend to arise. The bulk of Nigerian and African urban societies, no matter how educated or liberal it has become, still looks down on single mothers, no matter how successful or beautiful she is. They may never come to her face and insult her, but in other gatherings, or private functions once her name is mentioned, the gist will not be too pleasant. Nigerian single mothers who belong to the lower strata of society have already accepted their fate in good faith; most of them just go about their low keyed life style. If they are involved in a petty trade or something, they just do their business and fade into the crowd, taking care of their child or children back home. The modern independent Nigerian single mother on the other hand still wants to be seen and heard, you could see her rocking nite clubs with friends, attending social events, her kid in an expensive school, and basically she’s living life to the fullest. But one thing most single mothers crave for whether they admit it or not is the presence of a permanent male companion in her life. A man that will accept her and her child as his own and show them both that ‘true fatherly love’. Independent single mothers, though outwardly present a strong character and personality are actually very vulnerable when it comes to matters of the heart. Before venturing into any long-term relationship they must put not just themselves but their child/children into consideration. It is also true that most Nigerian single mothers who got lucky in love settled for widowers, divorcees, polygamists and believe it or not, foreigners. Foreigners here does not necessarily refer to ‘white’ men, Ghanaian men for example do not see getting married to a single mother as a big deal. However, it is very rare to find a Nigerian single mother, no matter how endowed, get hitched with a young first timer Nigerian bachelor; remember I said ‘rare’, not ‘impossible’.
So the question now is why do young, fresh Nigerian bachelors shy away from tying the knot with a ‘baby mama’? The first and obvious answer is because her child is not his, biologically. Secondly, what will his parents say? Especially, if his parents are the conservative type, even liberal parents will raise an eyebrow. Thirdly, i was made to understand a term called ‘psychological defeat’. I once had a friend called Tunde (not his real name) who fell in love and actually married a single mother, but the marriage lasted a little over three years. When I pressed on to find out what went wrong, Tunde told me that it all started when the father of his wife’s daughter began coming over to visit the little girl. Tunde stressed that whenever his wife’s ex came around he (Tunde) felt so useless and alienated throughout that visiting period. In Tunde’s exact words, ‘you know, it’s bad enough when you marry a non virgin knowing that other men had slept with her in the past, which is even okay’. ‘But when you get to see the manifestation of your wife’s past everyday through her child and to add insult upon injury you also see the man responsible for it on a regular basis, then it messes up the head’. ‘You start to imagine things’.
Tunde tried to convince his wife to send her daughter to go live with her biological father, but she refused. Tunde even went a step further to call his wife’s ex requesting that he takes his daughter to live with him but to Tunde’s dismay, the wife’s ex rejected the offer saying that his own wife would not accept it. To make matters worse for Tunde, two years into their marriage, his wife already a mother of one could not get pregnant for him. Tunde, fearing that the problem was from him, ‘experimented’ with another younger girl, he got her pregnant and his marriage to ‘baby mama’ crumbled.
Tunde’s case is probably a one off story and surely there are several men out there who are happily married to erstwhile single mothers, but truth be told, these happy endings are uncommon. At this juncture, no one can safely conclude if this world is a man’s or woman’s world but what is obvious is that the male folks get away with a lot of things.  In our society for example, a successful bachelor with five children from five different women still stands a higher chance of finding a young fresh single virgin woman to marry.  Same cannot be said for a successful single mother with just one child; most times it’s her and kid(s) against the world.