ojobolinda:
I regret getting married. My marriage is just a year old.
I can't go into details but the bottom line is, I am not divorcing just want a separation.
Reason for my decision
1) I hate sex where as my husband loves it. I have being unable to satisfactory fulfill my conjugal duties to him. I can stay a year without sex and I am happy but its unfair to my husband because he loves sex. We quarrel about it often.

2) Where we are living is affecting my mental health and I pleaded with him for us to relocate but he refused.

There are more which I can't type because it will make the post lengthy

I want to live apart from my husband and his family. I just want to move to another state and stay alone, all by myself. Marriage is not for me. I don't want my parent to know about it too because they wouldn't approve of it ( I have always given them this impression that I am happy in my marriage).

I am currently pregnant and we both agreed he will have custody of the child when he is born.

I just want to know if I will regret my action in the long run

Pregnancy hormones at work

Pls help us with their pictures.no light here o

Hannn:
I'm a lady, almost in my thirties now. I have a mother who is very godly , if not over godly (she claims after God is Jesus christ, then after Jesus christ is her) p.s , shes a pastor.
She believes she does nothing wrong and incapable of offending anyone.

She and my dad used to fight alot when he was alive, to the point that she left the house on various occasions with us to go live somewhere else, later we would come back , when they fight we would leave again and the cycle continued several times affecting I and my siblings education. I used to think my dad was the bad person(that was what she made us believe). She painted all bad pictures of him and his family to us, this has today caused a gap between we and our fathers family since theres no relationship whatsoever .

Even with her own family right now, shes at war with them. My cousin died three weeks ago and I know we're not at speaking terms with them but my mum showed no sign of sadness, all she said was that one of her enemies has died.

Even members of her church dont stay with her ip to a year at least. People are always coming and going, she talks to someone anyhow in church, insinuate things about them and paste it on them. There was lady who just left. She sufferd emotional abuse from my mum a lot. The lady is a gullible type and always succumbs to what my mum says. Worst part of it is that my mum always uses her sin to condemn her each time she feels the lady has offended her. This lady will be crying most of the time and I'll be like she's a fool, already she has a choice, me and my siblings dont. That's how this lady beared and beared saying she want to obey God ( my mum), so her life will be okay until one day she cut all of us off including my mum, she spent want to speak to her again.


Now to my own personal story. I'm the third child , I learnt to live with this character from my mum but as I grow older , it just keeps getting on my nerves. I cant make decisions for my self because I have to obey God (my mum) . I can't have any friends, she said all my friends are possessed that she doesnt want to see them In her house. One of my friends even lost her mother due to stroke, I knew the mum at the time she was sick, so it was something that made me cry, when I told my mum she said she's a witch that it's good that she died. My elder sister doesnt talk to her till date based on how she treated her. My elder brother had to sneak away from the house just to have peace of mind.

She doesnt know how to tolerate people/us or overlook our actions sometimes, everything she must talk. There was a day when she started at me, saying things I have never imagined, justifying it with the fact that shes a pastor who sees all things. I only tried to explain myself, she started beating me which I told her to leave me alone, next thing she injured me on my eyes , blood flowed that moment, I thought I was going to go blind but thank God. Several times she has physically abuse me and mostly it is saying things that can make me commit suicide. She has no iota of respect for her children. This is the woman I give almost half of my salary everything, making me not to take care of myself as i should. When she feels that I have paid, she'll start thinking i dont want to give her money, she'll say I must give her, that shes the one that trained me to read and write( lies! My own education was entirely my dad's doing. And I'm even a sec school cert owner, not like she trained me to university level) . I sha wont have peace for those days. Still yet she wont respect me. She acts like this to all my younger ones but my own case is worse. I've depressed because of her, I got so thin and she was still the one laughing at me again, she said shes ashamed of me that I look so unattractive, and compared me to my younger sister back then. The more I stay with her, the more I become bitter towards her. Now I'm not saying shes overall rude, she has her good times, when she all okay and tries to provide but she makes it important that we must have issue at least once every week and its affecting my mental health.

The one that happened of recent is that in church on sunday, she left what God asked her to preach and started comparing me with one of her member mocking the clothe I put on(this Is something I've been wearing in her eyes, she called me a old woman and all the members were laughing at me openly, then she told them I was going to cry, where I sat I was just boiling, i has to walk out of service that day. If i dress fine she'll complain, if i dont she'll compare, i just wanted to look simple that day. She really offended me that day cos i cant get that laughter off my mind, now shes expecting me to come kneel down and beg her(for what?!) She refused to talk to me since that dsy, she travelled, she calls all my younger ones and they pass the phone to each other but she doesnt want to talk to me, me too I dont want to call her, I dont know how to pretend cos shes the one who offended me. I dont know If I can ever enter her church again cos I'm so ashamed of myself.

I plan to get work on the island and I'll find a friend who I can squat with, so I can leave her house for her for my mental health sake and so I can take care of myself. I would have left since, but because of what society will say about me being a lady not in her parents house. I dont think I care anymore


Sorry for the epistle, if I should go on and on you might read for three days straight. Thanks

I can relate to all the traits here, my advice is for the sake of your mental health leave the house and get somewhere you can chill for a while.no matter how good and nice you are,it will never mean anything.


Only you can make yourself happy

Flashylily:
Hello everyone,
Please can anyone recommend a good hospital that I can register for antenatal. I reside in Ikorodu. I am a first time mom and I am confused on whether to do private or govt hospital. This is my first trimester.
Thank you

Ikorodu general hospital or ita- Elewa health centre

Omotehanny:



Thanks realtalk19

I do much appreciate what you've said

So you said you moved away from her house. How was it for you. Did you feel guilty like I did the first time when I left home?

No I didn't feel guilty I felt peace and was happy.i had to work hard to pay my bills and it was worth it

Omotehanny:
Thanks everyone

Moving out has always crossed my mind but when I go to meet people for advice, they always tell me to bear. That staying alone as a lady does not paint a good picture of me. But it's getting out of hand year by year.

And most times I emotionally immature but I just cover myself up for people not to understand anything about me

She said when she gave birth to me she died and woke up. Is that why shes treating me with extra wickedness. Sometimes she even says I came into this world to kill her but her head was stronger than mine that is why she came back

She is trying to use all those things to break you and blackmail you emotionally.

Try to find your own place even if it's a room and work hard.

Omotehanny:
Hi everyone

I'm 28 years of age and I'm female
In the book of ephesiand there's a verse that says children should obey their parents , but there is also another verse that says there that [/b]Parents should not provoke their children[b]

I'm open to criticism but put yourself in my shoes.

My mum is a pastor but at thesame time very very toxic person. My dad (bless his soul) has been seen has a bad person at home, it was not until I started looking at her toxicity apart from me that I knew that my dad wasn't has bad has she painted

She does and says everything she feels is favourable to her, then she puts it as that is what God wants. She literally calls herself God most times. Like when she wants you to do what she wants, she will say you are disobeying God that you will die.

When I was much younger I had depression which I've not recovered from till today both mentally and physically. I had no belief in myself, neither did I have a personality. It didn't make a sociable person, for example when I have a quarrel with other folks or even my younger siblings I end up crying.

She uses words that a mum shouldn't use on her children, she curses her children. She narrates how she has been suffering ti feed you since you were born , how she has clothed you , how she has sent you to you, she will always ask if you can repay her? Like why would she make such statements, did i ask to be born?

The one that will baffle you most is that as old as I am, she still physically abused me, she beats me even at this age. Last week she injured me near my eyes and the blood I lost was much. Several times I've wanted to report her but she will later manipulate me with words because she is manipulative also. She acts like okay at times just for you to listen to her , to things that had gone down in her life. But if I tell her things about my life she will use it against me tomorrow. So I usually keep my happenings to myself and just listen to her. It is still her that will be crying and saying that she takes us as friends but we dont tell her about our lives.

We are not in contact with our dads family, even her own family because of her as she is fighting them. Ever since childhood she has been narrating bad things about them to us, even encouraged us to not greet them whe they were still living with us in thesame compound.c

She fights everybody , even neighbors when she doesnt get what she wants.

And the problem is that she is extra toxic to her girl children. My elder has left the house for long and doesn't talk to her at all, she even got married without my mum attending her wedding(me and my elder sister do not share thesame father). She did not attend her mothers burial because of that quarrel she had with her family and she is the first daughter. My younger sister( thesame father) got intentionally pregnant without wedlock just to leave the house. I'm the only girl child at home now and my own level of tocixtiy is just 100
Na me suffer pass everybody. She never listens to anyone or take advice on anyone on how to discipline her children with love and not with violence.

She doesn't respect a child. Even tho I give her almost half if my salary every month, she doesnt give me a single respect. She abuses me in front of my younger brothers and their friends.


There is nothing I do that pleases her. She will use what has happened for years to still judge you, repition upon repition. She doesnt truly forgive and forget. She expects you to always do everything to her liking, forgetting you are human. She lays false accusers on me when reporting me to people , things I did not even dream of doing. She lies on me. One moments she loved you, the next day she hitting and beating you like a goat. And whether you are wrong or not , after physically and verbally abuse you, she will still expect to kneel down and beg her like God, forgetting she hurt you also.


When my dad was still alive, whenever she starts with me my dad will not make a single speech, If he does she will face him head on.
She brings her family matter to the church and preaches it like a sermon only for the members to be treating you as a bas person. She made me not to believe in God, I'm just gradually recovering from all those.

I've left the house bedorebeause of all these. But she manipulated me into coming back', crying and saying she was not able to wat

But honestly, with the way she injured me this last time, I've lost all fear fro her. At this moment we are not crossing paths. When I greet she doesnt answer me, whenever she is praying, she is abusing me saying all sorts of evil in her mouth while praying. Which Christian does that, not to talk of a pastor.
Shes still looking for ways to make trouble with me but I'm avoiding her. I don't fear her anymore. She stopped us from wearing jewelry when I was 16, but now she has made me stubborn. I'm wearing jewelry in the house and shes saying all sort of evil against me , but I dont really care

I dont think I can continue staying her. The boys dont have much problem with her. She gives them once in a while. But the girls is too frequent. P.s I'm not a bad person, I have never had a fight with anyone before, just misunderstanding here and there which is unevitable.


I want to move out, I'm not buoyant enough but as long as I have peace and mental sanity I dont mind. Because even though we resolve It today( which she will make me beg for days as if she is God) . A worse scenario will come up again

What do you think?

Mine is same but the difference is she loves my siblings more than me( not same dad).it messed up my self esteem and confidence.i do have panic attacks once a while especially when tensed.

Don't make a mistake of getting pregnant just to leave the house .it may not end well.

The best you can do to is to work hard and be successful. Do what you feel you want to do for her in future from afar. Be the best friend to your own children.

Thank God I have my own place now.i hardly tell her things but send her whatever I can from afar. I keep things to myself and would rather share with an elder or matured friend.

I will never behave or act like my mum.i will be a better version .that's how I heal and feel better.

List
Clog
Toss
Cots

ObalendeCMS:
Me, I put on white noise on my phone & voila I'm in dreamland!

I also have this app that plays different rain sound, I love the sound of rain on the roof.

What about you?

.

Movies

Hot beverage

Stressed out

OlawaleBammie:
Ok, with the thought that I will be traveling for the yuletide vacation very soon, so I went to a vendor to get some items to cook my usual concoction rice, everything were going smoothly (tho not as expected) until I was given this baby skumbia for 1k..

Normal normal wetin dey for this one body wey a wan eat biko?? I just kuku buy four eggs join to augment the package


My fellow concoctionists please update me, e don red reach like this for ur cribs??

3,000 for 1kilo now

mariahAngel:
Compliments of the season people. ✨✨✨
Christmas is here again, and we all know it's a season to give, receive, enjoy and make merry with family, friends and acquaintances.

Yeah, we all know things have been somehow, but anyhow, we must find a way to celebrate and enjoy Christmas, right?

It has not been easy surviving the present day Nigeria, we know, but we survived up till now, right? 🤷🏽‍♀️
So, we deserve to give ourselves some treat, no matter how small.
Take this as a reminder to reward yourself.
No excuses o! 😌

Even if you have to wash cars or do people's laundry to earn small money to give yourself a treat this festive season, do it o.
No dulling. 👀

I don't want to read nkenwa kinikan stories O! 🧐

So, what are you getting for yourself this Christmas?🙂

Pictures source: Google

Movie date with myself and i

This is my mode of operation at work.for every item purchased,I take a picture and attach with a short message and send to my boss for approval.

Fuels remaining in kegs are marked and snapped.

Condition and position of any materials sent or any thing kept in my office is snapped and saved just Incase it's tampered with.

You don't want to be accused of what you no nothing about.

beekind:
I am the 2nd born out of 2 children, my elder brother has been married for some time with no kids as a result I am super careful with issues relating to fertility.
I am in my late 30s and have been dating a 27 year old lady for 4 months now, the relationship moved so fast as she is a perfect match for me .
I have met her family and she has met mine, we are already planning marriage and have started counselling sessions in her church.

She complained of irregular periods so I told her to do a hormonal profile test and see a gynecologist, turns out she has got PCOS.

I have done my own fertility test and I am fine, I am at a cross road now, I cannot afford to struggle with child birth considering my age and also my only other sibling still also having issues with the wife also still trying to get pregnant after many years.

The only other option would have been to ask her to try for pregnancy before marriage but she is a virgin and wants to keep it that way till wedding, besides if I disvirgin her, how will I be able to walk away incase she doesn't get pregnant ?

I am at crossroads now, its not too late but walking away at this point will be very costly for me since we have already started plans towards the wedding and our families are already in touch.

My heart is heavy and I am confused, I need good advise as I cannot discuss this with anyone.

From Getting pregnant and carrying to term successfully with giving birth to a healthy living baby is only by God's grace. Even with the PCOS she can still get pregnant and have a baby successfully.marriage goes beyond having kids and being fertile.


What if you part ways and you meet your kind of woman as desired,what if despite passing all medical fertility test she is still not pregnant or not able to carry to term ,will you not still face the same fears?


What if the lady with PCOS have kids before you after parting ways because you feel she has a health challenge you could not deal with

You can follow up medically and settle down properly with an open mind of being there for each other .

Marriage is like a vehicle with no manual on how to drive it.

Fountainofyouth:



Madam, you are not the first person that has helped people before neither will you be the last, it is not an achievement, it is an act of selflessness to get nothing in return, genuine help is not a give and take situation, do not expect anything because you helped people, you are not humble, you are arrogant and entitled, you feel because you help people, they should answer you in quick haste and without hesitation when you call, imagine calling a mother on phone to send one of her kids to you to run errands, like say na your maid, very belittling, what happen to your legs? Can't you run your errands yourself whether it is near, far, or the streets? She was nice to just say okay, if na me I go over blast you regardless of your help. The effontery to do that is because you feel they are at your mercy, meaning your help and care is not genuine, it is from a place of servitude, you demand a lot in return which is very bad

Your first bolded, I don't know why you feel the need to tell us that story, so because a friend helped you, and you choose to serve and worship her, that means people you help MUST also serve and worship you abi? Is that what you're trying to insinuate and expect from that woman? You feel you're her human god because you helped her abi? Who thinks like this in this 21st century? That's a silly mentality, very silly, disgusting and stupid thinking.....let me stop here

The last bolded shows how extremely petty you are, you sound like those street gossips that when told to narrate her side of the story, she'd twist things for people to sympathise with her, what has being childless got to do with a mother's preference on her own children? Why do you feel threatened and pained by that all of a sudden? People have pointed out your fault here, yet you feel you're right, why do you choose to be blind to your own faults?

Well said

Vinnie2000:
Basket of Rice..N5000- N5700
Spaghetti. N450-N700. 😯🤨
Basket of Beans. N2400-N2800
Garri. N1200-N1500
Oral B Toothpaste. N300-N450.
Indomies. N350-N450.
Ikg of Gas. N700-N1100
Etc.🙂


Which PRICE of Items do you Find Surprising?🤔🙂

Spaghetti and onions

Zee0007:
While you were in school. Which exam got you smiling like this and what did you later score in the exam?

Mine was English and l later scored D7🙄

Biology

Opanka44:


You're correct Bro. I'm not even a management staff, yet he overburdens me administrative tasks. It's saddening

This is exactly me presently.doing 5 People's job at the same time

labake1:
According to the UK nurse's statements, a man who is not capable of taking care of his family, shouldn't get married. I think this controversy started because of Kie kie's interview.
Bills splitting can be 50/50, 60/40, 70/30, I think all this depends on the financial strength of a man.

My opinion is, just like the nurse said, a man should be capable before getting married even if your wife will assist you, it should be little. A wife should help her husband out if he has financial challenges and husband that have financial challenges shouldn't just sit back and watch their wife do things. Try and do little things till you stand firm.

What's your opinion about splitting bills with your partner?

No matter how rich a wife is, husband money is dignifying, sweet, and satisfying even if it's not much.

IyaTola:
God will provide.

Amen thanks

IyaTola:
What makes you wake up everyday and sit at your desk & continue being happy st what you do?
A. Feeling Valued
B. Career progression
C. Pay
D. Other benefits

Survival. As a single mum with bills to pay and kids to take care of,all I think of is how to put food on the table and cater for the kids welfare. I barely save anything for myself because every penny goes to feeding and my children's welfare.

labake1:
I have fear of height (Acrophobia), I always run away from storey buildings. In fact I always avoid a situation where someone will carry or lift me. On my wedding day, I will tell the MC to skip that part. I don't know how to overcome the fear.

What are you afraid of?
And have you conquered your fears?

Cockroach and dark places

labake1:
It's Saturday
Have you done your chores?


From this list, what's the one chore you absolutely hate to do?

Is don't like ironing. I just programme myself to iron three weeks clothes ahead asides my children's school uniform which is weekly

siofra:
Maybe I'm young and foolish, but I really don't mind being a second wife (or third wife or whatever) but I'll not be a first wife to a man with other wives.

And there are terms and conditions.

He must be super rich (like Ned Nwoko rich)

I will not have children for him (my mind may change)

I'll have my own apartment and I'll not take his name.

If he's Muslim, I'll not convert to his religion.


☺️

Lolz,side chick requirements

agabaI23:
You should take me to one

And you should wait to hear from the men why?

Remember that those cases will also include those who are willing and has been doing the needful who probably has fallen on Buhari time at present and bad times at other times.

The woman would happily let the court know he is no longer paying

At least some men still make effort. How about those that don't and still don't care.

because a divorced woman is angry and vile. Some of them try to turn the back of the kids against their daddy by saying all sort of bad things about him, no matter how hard the man try to be a responsible father, the kids would not appreciate it. Men know this and that is why they dnt indulge themselves. Not all dads tho.

Not all women speak ill of their ex spouses to their kids. if you try as much to involve their father and he isn't doing anything ,will you abandon the kids?

Moana:
go to the maintenance court closest to you this week and see if you will not find at least 10cases of men who neglect their children after divorce and you will know its something frequent.

You are right.even social welfare will be advising you to settle instead and God help you the man is loaded or connected.the case wunt move an inch.

omogin:

You sound like you are speaking from experience, lol...every case can't be same so you can't just say 'that's not true'

She's speaking fact.even while together some men are not responsible talk more of being apart.it should not affect your responsibility as a man to the child involved.

agabaI23:
You have seen A father. One father doing that does not make a majority. The women foolishly do that as a way of punishing the father.

She's speaking fact.men like that are just naturally irresponsible and deadbeat fathers

This BB season is pure vawlence-a- thon

Cowbell521:
You're of no value to his life. Divorce him ASAP. Free the man from your constant nagging. He owes you nothing. Divorce him and free him so he can have peace and better life

It's obvious from your comment that you have a brain of a 2 year old.

Cowbell521:
On his behalf, I thank you from freeing him from your baggage. He owes you nothing and stop sending him account. Free him completely!

So his children are now baggage? Do you understand English at all?

momsloved:
So this thought keep resounding in my head. Divorce.
The beauty of life is when two people In love decided to join hand and work hard to survive.
It's becomes difficult to survive alone when the one who is supposed to hold you up, is the one breaking you.
Life is hard and it's very difficult to get help from other people because everyone is facing their own challenges.
I understood. That's why I asked everywhere for help, and non helped me.

Now,
If a woman is married to a man who cannot or making effort to provide for the family, shelter, food, train the children, non take any responsibilities in the family,
Is this act not worthy of divorce?

A man who sleeps comfortably knowing that everyone in the house is hungry including his little baby, hasn't he proven himself worthy of divorce?
What exactly is the essen of being married to a man who lives all the responsibilities of survival to his wife, knowing that she's struggling and can't just ignore like he do when the children are hungry?

To a very sincere man, pls tell me.
What go through a man's heart, why would he refuse to make himself valuable to provide for his family and yet comfortable?
To a very sincere woman who can put herself in this shoes before commenting.

Would you stay married to a man who push ALL the responsibilities on you? Knowing you are not financially capable?
A man who watch you struggle to feed his children while he's there, you struggle to pay school fees, struggle to pay bills, struggle to get shelter.
You do all these yourself because if you don't, he wouldn't make effort either.
A man who can even thought of living you behind because he couldn't afford the rent, so you could sort it out on your own.
What kind of man does this?
Are these not enough reasons to divorce him and walk away?
What would you advise?

I can relate well to this.very similar to mine. I had to move on with my kids. Till now ,after ten years nothing.despite sending the children's school account, not even happy birthdays nor welfare.

He was never responsible from the onset and he will never be responsible. Just make the sacrifice of taking care of yourself and children and allow him fend for himself.

It is well with you.