₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Zhul-fiqar]how do you separate between the "rules" and the "essence" of something

just playing with words?[/quote]Rules: Instructions of Dos and Don'ts.

Essence: Why it makes sense.


[quote author=Zhul-fiqar]it isn't a matter of consenting adults.it is an issue of the method already explained that you see as ordinary or common "rituals".i mentioned the issue of consenting adults because virgin or unmarried girls are not allowed to enter a mut'ah agreement.so it is different to seeing a girl and using her as you suggested.it was a reply to your question i mentioned the issue of maturity and consent.now how they do it also matters.a mature pros-titute goes about following as many men as possible within a short period for cash return.a woman in mut'ah as already explained very well is not like that.i hope i dont have to repeat myself.a woman in mut'ah is a woman in marriage with all the conditions of islamic marriage like Iddah,mahr,e.t.c. applying.[/quote]What is wrong with a woman following as many men as possible within a short period for cash return? What makes it inferior to a woman that marries a man temporarily for sex (and other transient benefits including financial)?

What makes Muttah better than me meeting a girl, wanting to bone her (and she wants to bone me too), chatting her up, boning each other senseless for one year and then ending it?

dare2think: Unfortunately, only 00.1% of people operate like Onegia.

So fcking well said.

I know no single Nigerian woman that has broken up "respectfully", but they would mourn that they deserve to be broken up with respectfully.

[quote author=Zhul-fiqar]it seems some people are not looking for answers.i have given a detailed explanation and links for you to find out more.but you bring up another question as trap.not to worry!

in mut'ah marriage,one of the conditions is that you cannot do a mut'ah marriage with a virgin girl or a girl that is under parental care without her father's consent.so that makes it near impossible for unmarried girls under parental care to do.that is why mut'ah is suggested for consenting adults who are mature and responsible for themselves such as widows and divorcees.[/quote]It seems you missed the basis of the argument before you engaged in it.

Some foool came here to give a dogma about how his religion is superior and I questioned how what he states makes his religion better or any more sensible.

So if you are going to come and explain on his behalf, don't tell me what the rules are, tell me how the essence makes it superior/more sensible in acceptability.

By the way, prostitution or fornication too can be between consenting adults who are mature and responsible for themselves. That is not a trap, that is a fact!

[quote author=Zhul-fiqar]the difference between Mut'ah or temporary marriage and prostitution can be summarized in one analogy:

thw difference between making profit out of trade and making profit out of usury.God permitted trade but prohibited usury.

if i am to expand forward,mut'ah is not used for material gain in which the woman's body is sold out.in mut'ah marriage the conditions that are present in Islamic marriage also exist.the only difference is that in mut'ah marriage,the couple accept to agree on a time frame for the marriage.those who solicit prostitutes to perform mut'ah marriage are not performing mut'ah marriage.a prostitutes looks to sleep with as many men as possible in the shortest period of time.it is like a taxi service.in mut'ah on the other hand,the woman only sleeps with one man.and after the marriage is dissolved,IDDAH or a waiting period (i think of four months) is observed by the woman before she can enter into another marriage agreement,be it temporary or permanent.during the waiting period,she must not sleep with any man,or else she is committing fornication and in an islamic state she would be punished for that.also,in mut'ah there mahr and dowry and it is a written agreement that is mutually agreed upon.

you can read more about the question of the morality on mut'uah marriage:

http://www.answering-ansar.org/answers/mutah/en/chap6.php

you can also read all details about mut'ah marriage,how it is performed,why and evidence of it in the bible:

http://www.mutah.com/[/quote]And how does this make Muttah better or righteous?

What makes it better than me meeting a girl, wanting to bone her (and she wants to bone me too), chatting her up, boning each other senseless for one year and then ending it?

honor2011: That man should only be proud of himself that he knows his wife weaknesses very well. How many other women can he try the same trick on and get them to send him their nude pix? He was also able to 'hit' it off with the woman because he knows her very well and he capitalized on this knowledge while he was secretly chatting with her. A familiar terrain is so easy to trek. The consolation for the man is to realize that he can always 'get' his wife any day. How many married men have lost their wives without knowing it. [s]If I were the man, I would never reveal my identity but will use the fact to discover more of her secret yearnings and desires and come back home to fulfill it for her in reality[/s]. Again, all men should realize that there are only women who get married, there is nothing like a married woman. Big difference. Other wise what is the implication of that statistics out there that more than 60% of married women cheat at one time or the other. But men are so foolish that we think that just because we have given them rings to wear they are bound and will always respect the sacred vow. Keep on deceiving yourself. Fact is, how many men are respecting that vow. To a woman's mind, what is good for the goose is probably better for the gander. But women know this in their minds but will not say it out loud.

Thank you.

Well said as amended!

MyJoe: I read there will be a courtship of... how long, I can't recall. The parties will be allowed to pick, assess, decline and reject. Fact: many "normal" marriages don't have the fundamentals of a successful marriage.


For those "lucky" enough to find their "soul mate" through this means, for a lifetime. For others, for much shorter or no relief at all.

Bruv, if I were the head of the Kano Hisbah, I would not dump this. I would call a few sociology professors and other consultants from BUK down the road or further afield if none are available there and plan things properly. Tackle the root cause of the divorces and find ways to incorporate birth control into these marriages.

That would be unislamic!

Muhammed said "marry and procreate"!

You can see how your problems would begin.

It will test your interpretation of what was the great prophet's ideology when he said that.

Examples of the problems created when people decide to abandon their brains but live their lives based on what some illiterate medieval people said but claiming to be guided by God.

LagosShia: Holy Quran 25:63
"And the servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk on the Earth in humility and if the ignorant speak to them, they Say: "Peace."


[size=14pt]PEACE![/size]

You are a person!

RUN!

You think you can defend a moronic ideology against me?

Do you know who I am?

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!

RUN CRETIN!

Run if you don't want to be intellectually slaughtered.

[size=18pt]This is SAGAMITE!!![/size]


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzqXggZU3eE&feature=related

LagosShia: not at all! i meant a woman can hire you like a slave,to make use of you and then say sorry,she is no longer interested to spend more time of her life with you,or any man that is mentaly deficient that see people as someone they can "lease" and not be companions to.

You are a person!

So performing a ritual to s[i]h[/i]ag each other and then go your separate ways make you "companions"? It justifies the fact you just both want to bone each other? It makes it more religiously acceptable?

You are a cretin!

LagosShia: a typical loser you are Mr.Cretin,

now you resorted to twisting my words and making things look oversimplistic and ordinary.the nonsense you are saying,is that what i said?is that the way to perform a marriage of any type?

marrying one or two or three or four doesn't make you more or less holy.there is limited polygamy in Islam.you can't even say it is polygamy.polymay is what you see in the bible with one man having 99 wives.

You are a person!

How did I twist your words? FOOOL!

By explaining how dumb your dogma is in simple and ordinary terms?

You can't even say marrying more than one wife is polygamy? What do you have for brains? Fufu?

MyJoe: These women want to get married. There are men who would like to marry them. What the Hisbah people are doing is paying for it - their way of tackling social problems like begging and prostitution. These marriages will bring relief to many of these women. Some of the marriages will fail. Some of the women will go through all the terrible things some married women go through. That is the way these things go, even with "normal" marriages. Now, the most obvious "different problem, or worse" arising from this is that there may be more children whom nobody can cater for. We know this needn't be the case. That is why I share your view about an all-encompassing approach. Matchmaking, or assisting divorced women to find husbands is not the problem. It is the short-sighted approach adopted here that is; and that is something Nigerian policymakers seem very adept at, whether it's albinos writing UTME or Kano divorced women.

Are the fundamentals of a successful marriage incorporated in the approach?

How long will the relief last for most of these women?

These would be worse than normal marriages. It is just temporary relief or fallacious relief.

We do concur that they need to dump their stewpid ideology if they want to improve these social problem. Societies decline or even become more violent when kids are not raised in stable homes. With these, the North will continue being a major problem in Nigeria.

LagosShia: there is no need to use insults.learn to be civilized when you are exposed and your ideas lack substance.we learn everyday.dont feel ashame to learn.

You are a cretinous person!

I am not insulting you, I am telling you what you are. Take it as your Kalam of the day.

Fool says: He is entitled to 4 wives and only 4 wives to be holy based on an arbitrary selection by one person and when being called a cretin, says it is an insult.

LagosShia: and man don't get married to lay a woman? why not tell them,no need for any marriage-just bend and climb like dogs do it.even dogs have their ritual as they stick together.even chickens have their rituals.i'm sure you must be one of those campaigning for prostitution to be legalized.you don't even have shame to back your words with.no morals and you think you have anything to offer others or teach them.

You are a cretin!

So seeing a woman you want to bone, you perform some stewpid rituals and then bone her and then you go your separate ways makes you more moral or holier than one that just sleeps with the woman?

FOOOOOL!

How is that better than prostitution?

LagosShia: you mean a deranged one.mine isn't!!!

You are a fuckard!

Bringing your moronic religious views that is full of holes.

LagosShia: are you saying sex is evil? is it bad to have sex? or is it better to go to areas where prostitutes parade themselves and solicit their services?

you are a very senseless person on nairaland from man experience with you.you dont have to comment when silence can save you from ridicule.are you not the same person who knows no other word than to call others "cretin"? mumu!

Where did I say sex is evil?

You are a person!

So because you perform some moronic ritual to temporarilly shag a women that makes it better and superior to a woman getting paid for it?

It makes it more moral?

You are a cretin!

LagosShia: you of all people thanking him doesn't make his statements right.shisssshhhhh!!!

Having a brain will let you know he is right!

Shish to your dogma!

Tyche: Defending the indefencible. Every dogma has its shortcoming, this is a typical example.

Thank you!

LagosShia: because you are not god.

And you are deluded enough to believe God gave such arbitrary edict?

Which God?

The one of Mordor?

begwong: Because the prophet sticked to four &instructed/warned no other mortal shd surpass that else. . .

So there is no logic to it, it is just because of the whims of Muhammed? And you live your life following it like some ecclesiastical value?

begwong: Its against the tenets of islam as propagated by prophet muhammad-peace be upon him
4wives max,if u are not satisfied by any,u are allowed to change

Why 4?

Why not 3? 5? 7? 11?

Why 4?

Achiles: This is what happened when ignorance and religion take centre stage in any society. Imdays in Kano, women are reduced to nothing and treated as mere belongings. Hisba and Kano State gov are jokers hiding under religion. They should tell how many of those widows have been helped by the officials.

Fcking well said!

LagosShia: [b]the Nigerian Muslims are in dire need of Shia-Islam.the Sunni version has failed Nigerians.this article is evidence to what i am saying.in Shia-Islam,a man cannot simply shout or say thrice "i divorce you" and the marriage is dissolved.this is nonsense.even Sunnis in other part of the world are fed-up from this practice.this is Islamically wrong but Sunnis do it.in Shia Islam marriage is a documented contract.it starts with a recorded agreement and also can only be dissolved in writing and not verbally.if the man is angry or crazy,he can shout "divorce" as many times he likes but nothing!if this issue of divorce was practiced correctly,we won't have this problem in the first place.

also,Islam has provided the provision of Mut'ah or temporary marriage.women that are either divorced or widowed and have physical need (sexual feelings) to get married, or rather get a man, can be married temporary to satisfy their sexual need for a period of time until they are confident Mr.Right is available.many Muslims have the wrong idea about sex.Islam does not frown about humans enjoying themselves sexually.Islam frowns upon the process or method used to satisfy that urge.prostitution is forbidden as it degrades the woman to a material object selling herself for the cash and not to satisfy her sexual desire as a human being with God having placed that desire in us,or out of love for another person but the money.temporary marriage has all the conditions of permanent marriage such as IDDAH (waiting period),mahr and dowry and written agreement.mut'ah marriage is only different because it is temporary,limited by time and after the time agreed upon by the couple to be legally married,the marriage is dissolved and ends-with the exception if they decide to prolong it or make it permanent with a new agreement.these conditions exist and the man takes care of his wife in mut'ah mariage and bears responsibility in the event of pregnancy.many actually frown upon mut'ah marriage because of human indecency and corrupt minded people who apply their corrupt mind to misuse the provision and make it look like prostitution.but this can be used correctly as taught Islamically to eliminate many vices in society.and we should not frown upon anything because of people's tendencies to misapply,misuse or abuse it.otherwise polygamy and even permanent marriage can also be abused.but that does not make them haram or forbidden.[/b]

What utter junk rubbish!

So getting a temporary agreement to sh[i]a[/i]g each other is some form of purer way that is acceptable?

The rubbish you religious people read and follow like idiots and then think you have a superior way of life to non-religious people.

.

D sage: Sagamite,honestly u're a disgrace to d black race.If u dont kno somtin,u beta shut up&learn more.Nobody says western education is totally bad,i was jst tryn to let u kno d negative effect/impact it brought on our people.I'm an educationist,thinkn in d same way while in school some yrs back but when i took more research,particularly abt Africans in their primitive society,i discovered they'd everytin i stated in my previour comment.

Society is dynamic&not stagnant,actually our science&technology might be inferior then but due to d dynamic nature of d society,d tendency to improved is inevitable.
Imagin wat our black smiths,sculptors,enginers etc wud ve achieved by now,if d process was not interupted by western education.The Europeans u're clamouring today started from primitive stages&develop what they hav.

People like you wi say,they brought civilization etc,yes but if they did not,d society wud ve force itsef to developed because development is a process&d society wi sti progressing irrespective of d race,conditions and geographical location.

Pls try to make more research abt africans in their primitive stages/societies.I guess u must b a science student,and dats why i'm not supris abt ur post.

You are a person!

You are an educationist and you type post in these textspeak format, poor grammatical construct and with so much mis-spelling?

You are a cretin!

No wonder our education system is churning out moorons like you.

What would our black smiths (sic), sculptors and enginers (sic) have achieved if not interupted (sic)? person educationist!

Bloody illiterate!

Nothing is wrong with the Western education we practice apart from the fact that, due to misgovernance, fucktards like you can turnaround and say you are an educationist in the system.

zameen: Hi tohirah...I just sent u a friend request now......I'm into UNILORIN admission stuff

Basically you are a fraud looking to scam someone?

MyJoe: I think the Hisbah Board is trying to solve a social problem. What is vexing here is the Shariah prescriptions on divorce which is at the root of this problem. Unfortunately, nothing, it appears, is being done about this by the thoughtful Kano government.

Bruv, if one is going to solve social problems then one needs to develop a visionary, all-encompassing, problem-solving framework. Not this cattle-rearing, 23 kobo, illiterate, plucked-from-a-tin-can approaches.

I can guarantee you this moronic approach would just lead to a different problem, or worse, compound the problem.

The North tend to have cretins as leaders far more than the South does. They have 20 Alao-Akalas to every 1 Alao-Akala in the South. The Hisbah Board is an example.

There is something fundamentally wrong with the North's culture that pushes such people to the fore, practically unchallenged, unprogressive and undeveloped, and the same culture restricts the mental-development of the average man there.

Arosa: Are southerners or Christians allowed to marry these women?

You want to marry from a bunch of women of which majority have fistula?

The North just seems to want to accelerate to backwardness.

Ibime: You hit the nail on the head bro.

Stupidity is a big disease. You can tell by looking at the guy that he has nothing going on upstairs, no wonder he is still chasing an associate degree at community college at 29 years old despite the fact his father is a judge.

Too many of these dumb American types get themselves into Neighbourhood watch and border patrol simply because they have nothing upstairs. . . carrying a gun around and pretending to do some civic duty seems to be a self esteem booster for dumb American men.

Wow!

You guys see why I am absolutely brutal on cretins/moorons/foools/fucktards on NL!

They are a danger to our peace, civilisation and safety.

pass4life: I agree with Chaircover that since he found out that these are the things his wife desires, he should have cut the chase and get down to make it happen.

They are both wrong. We all should understand that man (male and female) are dynamic human being. So lets just try and stop all these TEXT thing in order to prove God knows what.

He should have cut the chase and bury his head in the sand to the fact that his wife is open to meeting up with a stranger to have s[i]e[/i]x.

Wow!

What a fcking intellectual point!

Yorisb: What would've been ur stance had the temptation(?) came from another man? Or don't ya know she could be easily be ''tempted'' same way by another Bloke?

The substance is what matters not the ''Husband's involvements''.....


Xcuse me pass jare!

Thank you.

Trimia: if you read my post you'll see i said it was indecent and wrong of her to send nude pics to a stranger as a married woman. But her falling for him in d first place has taught d man her sensitive spots. If she was so much of a loose woman how come of all her online friends, she fell for him.

What a moronic point.

No 1, maybe because he is the only one out of the online friends that was brave enough to make a move.

No 2, and more importantly, how do you know or expect the husband to know if that is the only or first time she is meeting up with someone from online to cheat?

Danduco: I dont think u know what the fear of God is.
And i pray that God will forgive u for what u said
about the Man of God. Your life and those of the others who said
bad things and rain insult upon the name of Man of God is in danger,i
pray that u will be forgiven. Brother, is a big mistake u just made by calling a Man of God, a thief and other names.
check: mattew 12:36.

You are a person!

stillwater: Researchers found that the rate of Down syndrome among parents over 40 was 60 per 10,000 births, which is six times higher than the rate found among couples under 35 years old. Older fathers over 40 had twice the rate of Down syndrome births compared with men 24 years old and younger when they had children with women over 35.

These are the kind of research announcements I see and I ask for the stats to quantify only to find the difference is completely irrelevant.

https://www.nairaland.com/225719/mother-tongue-english-home/3#3846882

I would shape my life based on reducing a 0.6% chance to a 0.1% chance?

Hell No!

Both are almost insignificant at less than 1% chance.

There are more important things for me to worry about in life.

Marriage on the other hand is 50% chance of failure, 80-something% of utter unhappiness if you add those that are not divorced but still married.

johnwell: ... divorce, sack, pursue, players, blame husband, blame wife, blame social sites, sent home, Never make a LovePeddler a housewife, & lots more.... all these are just sh*t. wait a minute, didn't they cort? the question should be: why tempting her now? there's an alert somewhere that triggers the "bobo" to embark on this research. which one be our own sef, ours may even do worst and still calling us all the names in the encyclopedia of romance..... if the man is not a player, how will he succeed, afterall iron-sharpens-iron. 10/10

Fact-deduction process and analytical prowess of a product of Nigeria's education system.