APC2:
Greetings nairalanders,
I need your advice regarding this issue:
I set up a new business that cost me millions of naira and I told my wife to write application letter and submit to me so that I can employ her to manage the business, she refused. She said she will not write any application letter and will not collect any appointment letter from me to work in my establishment. She just want to be in charge of the business without any formal documents.

I have told her that I will employ another person if she did not want to pass through the process of formal employment. My wife is not working and she is in 300 Level in a Federal university. She is not serious with her studies, having carry overs every semester. I'm the one sponsoring her education.

I am thinking of informing her brother that if her sister did not write application letter and pass through formal employment procedures, I will employ another lady and will not be responsible for the social needs of my wife. I will only give her money for transportation to school and not for birthdays of her friends and the unnecessary visitations she always do to relatives houses.

I can't trust my wife with any of my businesses without formal documents. She may one day claim she is the owner.

What do you think?

Jman06:
Bullsh1t!

As if anyone cares about a man before Men have always been used to loneliness and finding their own happiness their own way, so don't even threaten us with that loneliness at old age crap. It won't work!

Jman06:
If you refuse to offer your husband great sex, small girls outside will offer him. In fact, the sex would even be more adventurous and fun.

Case closed

Jman06:
If a man "drops" money like you put it, then the woman shouldn't complain of doing chores and also making out time to sex her husband. She could get a maid as well.

The last I checked, making money nor be beans! Or will you be comfortable switching roles

Blunttruth:

Thanks, it's not all rosy, we have had our ups and downs, but we are what we are today because we were both determined to make our union work.

Blunttruth:


Oh yea of little knowledge. I guess everyone is just different, she's my lobster and I am hers.

baralatie:

And his dropping of money at the home makes him useless?

baralatie:

How are you sure that it is not the wife that is been selfish

phemmyfour:
She's getting it elsewhere

2. You guys ain't in good terms: You can't treat a woman like a trash in the day and want her to submit her body to you in the night.

3. This is the most scary: She doesn't find you appealing SEXUALLY. You're only living like neighbors, sexual attraction = 0

voidUpdate:


1. That's no excuse. It's just a phase of life. It's too difficult? Get a maid to raise your child. Lol.
3. Attraction fades over time, too bad, that marriage. Lol.
5. Pay for sex? Lol.

AdamuKD:
It's no longer a topic that most married women loose interest in sex after marriage and start denying their husbands his conjugal rights even if she is comfortable with the marriage

Please married women what is the cause because right now, I am experiencing this in my house even though my marriage is not up to 2 years

pocohantas:


Same here. E good say OP and his unending topics na man. If say na woman, they’ll say he wants to teach the battered wife feminism. Make she dey there.

oldienavie:
I have payed keen attention to our behaviour and society and its hard to argue that the black race is not cursed.
We fail to learn from the mistakes of our fathers and continue to repeat the same cycle thus stagnating and refusing to evolve, the oyinbo man would evaluate the life of those that have gone before him and adapt and thats how he has progressed.

I currently live in France and my caucasian friend just told me something today that broke my heart and don't know whether to ruin this Naija guy life.
She is married to a Naija guy who from my investigation just needed the oyinbo for papers.
But that's not the issue, this lady asked me if it is normal for Nigerian men to beat their wives.

This stupid guy without papers has been beating his wife, this is very sad and I am trying to really manage my emotions.
My wife wants me to tell the lady the truth so that she can report and expose him(I found out the guy has a family in NIgeria).. I wasn't going to involve myself in the matter but what the lady told me today really provoked me.

What is wrong with black people in general, why are we always behaving in this manner, how can someone take you in and feed, clothe and support you yet you are assualting her despite that you do not have papers and you can be deported if she goes to the police.

Do you guys think I should expose ? I don't want to get involved but my wife is putting pressure on me.

Raalsalghul:


Is she not aware of the laws in France?

Does she not know the power she wields by reporting him to the police?

Something else might be at play here and I'd advise you stay out of it.

sisisioge:
All these low intelligent oyinbos should stop disturbing people's peace jare. Even if it is in the guy's culture to batter his wife, is it now in the wife's culture to accept it? Abeg! She should swerve! Some women are just destined to die in the hands of men. Whew!

frozen70:


Thanks dear

It takes madness to correct nonsense

frozen70:


Since her husband is a liability, let her Concentrate on the one she has at the moment till she finds her bearing

If it happens that he want to go and pregnant another woman outside, let him go

After all she has nothing to loose
The man is just milking her while saving money for another woman

Dont be surprise that marriage is not even stable and may hit the rock

Intellectuall01:


For the whole Naija, na only Yoruba lady get that kind loyalty

kay29000:


I don't support this, but I can say the theory is true. I have two girlfriends right now... They both know each other, so it is not like I'm hiding one from the other. Yeah, it is a complicated situation, but they're both okay with it... And I must say, the first one calm down after I got the second girl. This theory is really true, but as I said, I don't support anyone having two wives sha, but I get why some men marry two wives.

klonboi:


I dey laugh you!

You never see anything.

klonboi:


Ma'am please that's not enough reason for him to destroy another person's joy.

If you have worked in a Nigerian bank you will fully understand what the op went through. It's a norm in every Nigerian banks.

Pressure! pressure! pressure!

udofia234:
Good morning everyone!!! I'm so so going to pay her back with the coin she paid me!!! I once worked in a micro finance bank as a marketer and my MD happen to be the relative of the owner of the company and guess what friends she's just 23 year (graduate) when I go the job I was 33 years then, guy she was even the one who employed me and she happens to know I'm also a senior graduate and older than her! this lady is so rude!!! I could remember the day a customer called her to lodge a complain which was false sh never waited to hear my own story, this lady insulted me eh! after I left her presence I went to the rest room and wept bitterly, but since there was no job I had to manage it, but this lady picks on me at any slightest mistake, I couldn't attend my brothers wedding because of her, I lost my relationship with my brother because we where very close and we planned it all together! Guys I know u won't believe this! I resigned from that work simply because she attempted to slap me when we had a little argument but thank God I was smart I dodged it, if I had my chance I would have beaten her but I can't because I'm not trained that way, so I simply resigned and relocated away from that place. To my utter amassment my mum called me that my cousin who state with is from childhood until he graduated from the university and now works with dangote was bringing his fiancee to the house to show them, I was happy and told my mum I'll come over. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this stupid, useless and God forsaking bastard of a girl that never Regarded me as anything, she humiliated me out of that place!!! I hate her so much, when they came into the house cause we where sited already waiting eagerly for them, my brother was the first to come in and then her , when our eyes met she was shocked and uncomfortable, I was so infuriated that I gave an excise and left them there, and I know her conscience is judging her already!!! I haven't told my cousin and dad the kind of lady that is about to join our family!!! And I'm bent on destroying every thing , I swear he won't marry that Jezebel of a lady!!! imagine me!!! the lady that insulted my whole life was greeting me and smiling!!! to who? guys I doubt anyone one of you will also allow this union to happen!!!

Adonispco:


Emotional creatures will always try to shame us rather than reason logically.
Rob which poverty on whose face? Did he raped her? Women will always be manipulative;
@Op like someone said above; if she rejects you aiding for your foetus upkeep; go to her family relatives tell them whats at hand. Life is not easy; dont let any daughter of eve use you.

francisbarrack:


C comment. Pls leave sentiment n give reasonable advice. Imagine if op happened to b ur brother will u make this up.

tunapawizzy:

Hahahahaha God abeg o protect ur sons o...make toxicity no kill dem o

Worriedguy6699:
(Female opinion are not welcomed in this thread)

As the saying goes, spare the rod, spoil the child. Since women are perpetual children, I think it’s time to start correcting them the way our ancestors did.

I think the rise in unfaithful women these days is because society has castrated men and stripped them of their masculinity.

Even women want to be corrected with strength and dominance.

Please do not spare your woman if you catch her or are suspicious of her. Flog her very well on her bumbum (with love of course).

She might not talk to you for a while, but when she comes off it, she will forever fear and respect you. She will not love you because women are not capable of that kind of love you see on TV (it’s all formulated by Hollywood).

Even the Bible tells women to respect their husband not love them (the Bible knows women are not capable of love)

Do this and She will forever respect and adore you.

susrite:
cos she told me. She had symptoms of a pregnant lady. For a whole month she kept spitting profusely. Even the fiance told me himself

Joepic:
Like father like son

Womanwoman:


Thank you. I have prayed. I am still praying