₦airaland Forum

bestdudes:
Well, I am not like that dude. The only reason I walked away is that I am of the opinion that when someone is being a gentleman and decent in their rapport with you, courtesy demand you return the same.

It is just basic logic.

If you're being a gentleman, and she's not returning same vibes, please walk away immediately



Don't put your gold in the snout of a pig.



Gentlemen are becoming rare nowadays, so please be yourself and save your personality for a woman who deserves you.




Among men, there are good men, and bad too, likewise, among women, there are good women and bad women too



Your job is to filter and find the good woman for yourself.



Believe me, one smart good girl will meet you and hold you fast, so don't miss out on such a beautiful possibility because of fine face, ass, and booty.



Good luck.

MNDY:
Which people?
Women are wired that way jare!
If you do gra-gra to get her, she will use that to do shakara for you.
But if you make her feel less of herself, she will be running after you.
There are many aspects to flow in different ways with a woman.
He can motivate her to be a successful woman.
But to get her attention, a man should yab her and pretend not to really like her, that's the formula for that one.
It is how you women operate. To beat you to your game, men should operate like you. VERY SIMPLE.

Buhahahahaha


Kikikiikkikiki




Your strategy will boomerang back in your face if you're not careful, maybe not now, but definitely in the future.



If you turn love and marriage into a game, you'll end up with a playa. (Or you think girls are not smart?)



Please don't reply me o, just remember what I said.

Octopusssy:
Tell me that and I will ex you forever. It shows you have no respect for me as a person. Anyone who falls for this reverse psychology obviously has self issues

If he now marries a woman with low self esteem now, he'll come back to Nairaland to complain about how she can't be ambitious.


Thank God for this anonymous forum though, it makes it easier to see the true heart of these people.

bestdudes:
Lmao.. you are funny. So point out where I made a mistake and the girls are not at fault?

Did I ask them for sex or ask them for anything? What will it cost a grown-up adult to be decent in their engagement? At my age? At my age, I would leave any girl alone as soon as I see any indecent attitude or red flag.

Maybe you are the kind that tries to convince yourself that "it is not a problem, continue to try your luck and gets disrespected even further"

Gerrraheree mien

Mr man, you need to calm down.



From the little I've read if your posts I can give you a few pointers if you can chill a little


1. You need to understand that a lot of single people, both male and female are looking to settle down. You need someone, just like the ladies need someone too, so don't treat them like they are the ones who should be desperate just because they are females. People who are sensitive can observe these things even from text messages.


2. Be wary of where you pick your ladies from.


Looking for love on Twitter is not for the faint-hearted. It takes a lot of patience to filter out the kind of lady you want because you will meet a wide variety of people.

If you're the conservative type, just focus your search on one-on-one contacts.


3. Just chill generally, I believe you'll eventually find someone good for you as long as you keep being yourself.


The most important part is to settle down wisely to avoid future problems.
Good luck.

oldienavie:
You are just speaking out of emotions.
I gave you some cold hard facts but you have chosen not to be objective.

The truth might hurt but its better to live in reality than to live in delusion.

You failed to provide any reasonable or sensible arguement and chose to curse and bully me.

Read my post again and compare it with yours then tell me if your response is fair.

Let's treat each other with respect, we can disagree without devolving into abuse. You can respond to me and provide reasons why you think I am wrong without being this abusive.

Seriously?


You can't take what you're dishing?


I've always observed that the most insultive people are the ones who can't take a bitter pill. Interesting.




You feel good when you use words like 'cold, hard facts' right?


But you can't even process simple words like 'it's boys in your circles who're not getting married'


Take this fact, people are getting married every Saturday. Go to the registry on Thursday and Saturday and see for yourself.



So, don't paint the world with the tiny little brush in your limited imagination.



Now, buzz off, I've got stuff to do.

oldienavie:
Are you married ?
How old are you ?

The number of women flocking Redemption camp every day praying for husbands does not support your claim.

A 32 year old UK educated Msc holder just became a 5th wife to a monarch almost 20 years her senior.

You ladies are either decieving people or doing this to mislead young ladies...

A woman in Nigeria of today has to think twice before walking out of a relationship, men plenty wey wan straff but very few are willing to marry.

So if a woman cherishes marriage, she will sacrifice and tolerate somethings.

But if the poster does not care about ending up like tonto dikeh, iyabo ojo who are living as singles then she may take your advise.

People like you come to Nairaland and say what you wish for your daughters.



Being a place where you can hide behind your phone and type nonsense allows you to put your senses at the back burner and just vomit the rubbish you have saved in your brain.



You and the men (boys) in your circles are unwilling to marry. Your girlfriends and partners are low class, senseless, weaklings who have zero respect for themselves.



I don't want to treat the case of each woman you mentioned because they are distinct individuals who have separate stories, besides, it's not my fault that no one raised you to be a wise, observant, young man.

(Is it not obvious that no wise, God fearing woman will want to settle down with you? Only desperate opportunistic gold diggers will flock around your type)


Even though it makes you mad, I will repeat what I said earlier:


There are good men out there.


Good men are finding good women and they are getting married every Saturday.


If you can't find a good woman, that's your own personal cup of tea.

Exquisitely:
Thank you all for the suggestions. I'm grateful to this family

Exquisitely:
Thank you all for the suggestions. I'm grateful to this family

Please leave this guy.

I can assure you that if you look very well, you will find a hard working man who will contribute equally to the well being of your home.



There are good men out there.


It's not your job to be the mother of a man-baby, to raise him, feed him, nurse him, clean up after him and still take care of yourself and children!


You are in the best position to save yourself before it's too late.

I say again, leave him now.

ufotty2001:
Yes. You are the most useless person in the world. Full of feminism. Nowadays! How many girls have visions, ambitions and innovatives? But men do marry these girls without thinking twice. Go out and do a research! Pick up 5 girls and interview them. Ask them what they want to become in life.. u will see their reply.

Wait o, I thought you men don't like achieving women.


So, who are ones marrying these NFA girls?

Chinelo154:
Good afternoon to everyone my mum is really suffering in her marriage and I really need your advice , I am the first child in a family of 5 children I was born in 1998, my mum is a midwife in a local hospital and my dad is not working for like 10 years. My mum is the breadwinner of the house with her little salary , and I am also working my salary is 12k , out of my younger ones only one is in school the last born 14 years the burden is too much on my mum she cannot afford to train all of us to the university , we thank God we are ssce holders one of my brother is a bricklayer we are stuggling to survive sometime i cried alot when i see my mum stressing herself to put the house in order but my dad doesn't appreciate all her effort . The issue of ground is last wk Friday i returned from work only to find my uncle , his wife and their 5 children in the house , they came from the village i was shocked because we were not aware of their coming , I greeted them and went straight to my mum room, she was in a very bad mood , I asked her if she was fine she didn't say any single words to me, she was badly affected with the coming of my uncle and his family, I felt her pain because she is struggling to keep the family up and in the order side my dad is bending it how asked myself how are we going to survive in a 2 bedroom house with 14 0f us plus feeding and everythng will be in my mum head , my dad has instructed me and my 2 sisters to leave our room for my uncle and his 2 daughters , while we moved to their bedroom and my 2 brothers and my uncle 3 children will sleep in the parlour. How can a big woman like me to be sleeping in my parents room, I did not complain we went to the room we packed our belonging and moved it to my parents room. That night I didn't catch sleep seeing my mum loosing sleep she didn't say anything but she was awake all night , she was trouble a lot was going through her mind , in the morning I heard my uncle wife and mum having a discussion she told her , if she knew the condition we were living was this bad she wouldn't have come , she said my dad has told them to come because things are fine with us and she was disappointed with what she saw , so my mum asked her so my husband was the one that convinced you to moved in the city she said yes , my mum shook her head she didn't say anything else and I become very angry I confronted my dad asking him why did he do this to my mum when he knows the condition is not good, why did he tells his brother to come not just him alone but with his family, he started shouting at me I am not a wife material if I bring this my character of not liking my inlaw to my husband house he will send me packing and he will not allow me back to his house , I have told him he is very wicked he want mum to die so he can bring him another woman , he stood out he went inside the house he started shouting at my mum how dare she ask me to confront him and what's wrong with him bringing his brother to his house, my mum did not send me she is a quiet type and I am not i co fronted him by my own will , he said my mum is wicked woman he was shouting in the presence of my uncle and my uncle has started insulted me too , telling me the house belong to his brother if I am not happy seeing them in the house I should go and rent my own house because he is not leaving anytime soon , if I had somewhere else to go I would have left the same day but I had nowhere to go, I went inside my room crying and later on my aunty was telling me to not mind my uncle , she don't blame me for standing up for my mum because as a woman she is she will not tolerate it she told me she don't know if my dad and her brother are curse they are just lazy and they have left all the responsibility to the wives , she said she can't tell me everything she is also passing through the same thing with my mum , I thanked her for her understanding and for not supporting her husband and my dad. It is been few days now I don't greet nor talk to my dad and uncle , I go to work as usual and when I come home I sleep in the parlour with the boys me on the sofa them on the floor , I am not happy with my dad and I don't think I will ever be happy with him again , did I overreacted for confronting or I did the right thing I am just asking for your advise so i will know the right thing to do after please do not insult me I am wearing the shoe I know where it pinch

I have zero blame for you.


Let me give you some ideas:

1. Put your younger kids in a public school near you.

2. You are 24 now, a young lady, go and open an account for yourself, only bring small change home because your money will soon become family money.

3. Don't say anything from now on, not to your Dad or Uncle (don't let me call them useless)

4. Tell your Mom to stay more at work, and avoid the house as much as possible, everyone will meet at night.

5. Don't cook unless the men drop money.

lilioj:
The bills were paid by sister's husband, they had to do an xray.

Seriously disappointed in the school.

So, why are they still keeping the child in the school?

newdays:
The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know..
Stop thinking that you field will be greener elsewhere.
Remain the good wife that you are and
Just learn to forgive him in advance.

You're not female

Life2020:
Hi, first I want to thank you all for your advise the last time i was here.

The last time I brought up my problems here, I vented out about how my husband is being a total pain in the ass.

The problem is one, he's cheating on me with several girls and still want to have sex with me but i refused stating that until he does a full STD test we are not having sex, simply put i need to Know that he is STD free before we have sex again.

Two, he's never at home, sometimes for two weeks he stays in hostels with girls, partying and spending his money, at first i tried to understand him because we did marry young, i felt that maybe he misses having his Independence, so at first i said nothing until it got worse. I now feel like a single mom, i do everything, the children don't even know anything about their dad, they see him as a stranger now, he's always cool towards them and i don't like it, have told him several times that i want the children to bound with him, i need them to have a good relationship with their father and have even advised him to take them out, maybe to a theme park or anything really but he has refused stating that he's busy.

Thirdly he body shames me, telling me that i look like a clown, I'm fit, it's not like I'm dirty or anything i take care of myself, i know he's lying because i have admirers, like a lot of them, ever since i started making money and could afford to employ workers, i have done everything to make myself look good, i go to the gym, do facials and i make sure I look beautiful, honestly I don't know what's wrong with him.

I have come to the conclusion that he is only saying it to be mean to me, maybe as a means of control, honestly i think he thinks if he makes me feel less than i am, to make me think i have no where else to go.

Thirdly when we first got married, we both agreed that he will go to the university first then later, i will also attend, after finishing his university education he couldn't find a job so i gave him two of my lands to start a business, he because successful in the business and his now lavishing the money. I have a farming business, it's very successful, with it i have many lands and i built the home me and my husband live in, ever since he started making money i advised him to build his own house but he has refused, instead he bought a fancy car, i want to build an estate so that i can have another source for revenue but for one reason or other, my husband is advising me against it.

Now back to me wanting to attend the university, i want to study accounting so that i can take my business to a new level but my husband has refused saying that he wants more babies, we already have twins (two lovely girls). i told him later, after I finish my university degree and our girls are a little bit older, we will have more kids

Now back to the present day, have decided I'm kicking my husband out. Recently, I noticed he was always at home, I was happy but surprised, I thought he had changed. I decided we need to spend time together as a family, I was even planning on us going on a vacation, give my children a life I wasn't opportune to live, I talked to him about it, we made plans, he agreed to go for a full STD test. I was happy
little did I know that my so called husband has fathered another child outside our marriage, he told me this himself, saying all sorts of nonsense on how I should advise the girl to abort it so that we can be one big happy family, I just looked at him, I haven't said anything to him in days. But I have decided that I'm kicking him out. I want to do this in a way that it doesn't affect my children, I really want them to build a relationship with their dad but as for me I clocked out of this marriage a long time ago.

I was advised by my a friend to make a video while I kick him out but I'm not going to do, he's till the father of my child, and I don't want my children to grow up and find those videos
honestly I just need emotional support while I go through this divorce.

Call a family meeting, explain all these things you typed, tell them you want to separate from your husband.

Then let your family take things from there.

OLAADEGBU:
My point is that some babies can survive outside mother's womb as from 22 weeks. How then do they get their supply of oxygen and nutrients since they are out of their mother's womb.

It's not my fault that nobody took the time to raise you.


No one took the effort to educate you


Stick with your fellow ignorant morons and get lost.


All the days you spent in your mother's womb are a waste.


She should have aborted you.

OLAADEGBU:
I still insist that the baby's body and blood are different and distinct from the mother's, they are different. You are dealing with another living human being here unless you want to tell me that you are a murderer.

You, and all humans who force women since the creation of the world into a state of barest existence are murderers,

You were raised to cut short a woman's destiny and potential.


You don't see women as complete human beings who deserve to be happy for a second of their lives.


You want women to be miserable and beg you for money.


You kill destinies


YOU ARE A MURDERER!!!!!!


The very sight of a successful woman turns your stomach.


You teach your fellow men to restrict women from God's service, from education, from any form of leadership.


You want to turn women into zombies as against the plans of God for them!




In my opinion



YOU ARE THE WORST!!!!!!

pabostt:
The potential threat the career of a woman can cause to her marriage especially if her husband isn’t as successful as she is has always been a point of discussion. Moreover, some single men are even afraid to marry a woman who is successful in their chosen career than them. Some believe that the norm is husbands “should” hold higher job status relative to their wives. When this norm is violated, and wives hold the higher status job, negative consequences can follow: Women are more likely to be targets of husbands’ aggression, and the risk for divorce increases.

Question
is it a crime for a woman to succeed in her chosen field or earn more?

Source

Every woman and man has problems with their marriages.



Stop being ridiculous

OLAADEGBU:
How can I be a troll on a thread I opened?

A troll has no sensible points, only posts for attention.


You have no point, you're only seeking attention.



You sound like someone who needs to go back to SS1 and relearn basic biology.

OLAADEGBU:
For your information;
i) The baby's body is different from the mother's body;
ii) The unborn baby's blood is different from the mother's blood;
iii) The unborn baby's eye colour, height, hair colour and personality are all in their DNA which is distinct from the mothers'

Tell me how the mother's oxygen plays a part in babies that in the incubators or in surrogate mothers.

Real men protect women, born or unborn.

How can a foetus survive without the mother?

I find your stubborn and dogged adherence to foolish unscientific points very repulsive.

To survive, an organism needs nutrients, and the mother's body produces what is needed, genetic information is stored in the DNA which affects the appearance, so your argument on appearance and genetic information is so stupid, you should not be allowed anywhere near anything educative.



Since you say the foetuses have rights, go and interact with them now, speak with them and let them speak with you.



Ungrateful lots, women don't need your understanding and appreciation anymore.

OLAADEGBU:
For your information;
i) The baby's body is different from the mother's body;
ii) The unborn baby's blood is different from the mother's blood;
iii) The unborn baby's eye colour, height, hair colour and personality are all in their DNA which is distinct from the mothers'

Tell me how the mother's oxygen plays a part in babies that in the incubators or in surrogate mothers.

Real men protect women, born or unborn.

Maybe you should stick to your incubators then.



Real women want to live without your clinginess.

Helpout12345:
This argument was started by democrat politicians in the US for sole purpose of using it to campaign for the mid-term elections coming up on November 8 and democrats are even lying so much about the whole thing.

The Supreme court did the right thing to overturn RoeVwade. The supreme court said RoeVwade judgement that stipulated abortion is human rights enshrined in the US constitution was a faulty decision, that no such rights exist in American constitution and any of its amendments. Therefore, any matter not in US constitution are decided by the state laws. Each state in the US has the authorities to make laws over such matters and not the federal government.

Based on this decision, democrats states that legalized abortion up to the last minute before birth can continue to have such laws while republican states are also free to limit abortions. However, democrats are lying about this to their base that the Supreme court decision has banned all abortions in the US. That is lie number 1 in democrats’ argument.

Lie number 2 in democrats’ argument is that Abortion rights is part of US constitution. US constitution is a public document. In fact, everyone can google the constitution and all its amendments to read. Abortion rights is not in US constitution.

Lie number 3 is that republican states banned all abortions without any exceptions. Most republican state laws allow abortion up to 6, 8 weeks, in case the mother’s life is in danger. So, the argument of rape and incest is killed here. If a woman is raped, she has up to 6 or 8 weeks to abort. The premise for this time frame is that a pregnancy has developed to a life by 6 to 8 weeks by having a child’s heartbeat. The democrats want to abort a child even up to 1 minute before birth at the delivery table but the republicans are saying that is radical, inhumane and lack all moral grounding on the rights of the child.

Democrats are saying a child should only have rights and be protected only 1 minutes after the child is born but they want to allow aborting the same child up to 1 minute before birth. It does not make sense. There is no difference between a child you abort 1 minute before birth and a child you protect after birth.

Once the pregnancy become a life inside the woman, breathing and kicking, that life has human rights and must be protected. We have numerous people in the world today that were born prematurely (6 month, 7month, 8 month) and living perfectly today.

My sincere advice to everyone on this abortion politics is that, please listen to both sides by watching both Foxnews (Republican controlled) and rest of American media (Democrats controlled) before you take sides so that you hear both arguments and not be fed only with one sided lies.

My question to you is this



Will you provide everything necessary to carry a pregnancy to term?


If any woman can no longer follow through with a pregnancy, no one should force her to keep it, especially since there is no guarantee for her well being at any point in time from anyone.


If men want more babies, they should step up and start being more responsible.

Modified:


I know that the majority of the voices against abortion worldwide are masculine, but unfortunately, most menfolk worldwide are useless in terms of providing care and support for their spouses and tender ones, women end up having to pick up their slack!



Imagine irresponsible men asking for more babies they can't cater for, is that not hilarious?


Majority of governments worldwide do little or nothing to protect women and children, women are being left to fend for themselves and their kids, yet, they won't hesitate to force women to keep increasing the population they can't cater for, isn't that interesting?


Personally, this argument doesn't affect me, because I don't need an abortion, but I can't sit by and watch women getting dragged deeper into poverty because of the foolish insensitivity of men.

OLAADEGBU:
If it has a heartbeat it is human and you have no right to take the life of another human being, the reason it is called murder. Whether you call it foetus or unborn baby we are still referring to a living human being. The difference is that it is inside the womb of the woman.



The unborn baby is a gift from God it is not a choice. It has a body and is not a parasite. The mother does not have the right to take life because she is not God who put the life there, she is only given the right to be a custodian not the maker and taker of life.



Is it the baby's fault that the mother was raped, why punish another person for the crime of the rapist? And we know that this excuse is minimal when it comes to the case of abortions. Most cases are social not criminal. It is not by force for the mother to keep the baby after it is born, she can give it up for adoption because there are many women looking to take care of these babies. Watch the short video clip below and see why abortion is murder.

If My Father Raped My Mother...

You are just a troll


A pregnancy is a gift from God?


Stop using God in arguments like this, because most of you only remember God when you're not the one to obey Him.


Hypocrite

OLAADEGBU:
Yes but don't forget that the baby has a body and therefore has a right to live, no?

I won't blame you for your ignorance, since a large population of the world is like you anyway.


That foetus you are fighting for, will you supply it's

Oxygen
Nutrients
Water
Blood
Iron
Platelets
Bones
Skin
Hair

After it's born, of what use are you to the well being of the mother and child?

Ectopic pregnancies, will you offer your abdomen to carry the pregnancy to term?

Preeclampsia and all other life threatening pregnancy complications, when women go through it, of what relevance are you to anyone's survival?



How many less privileged people have you supported?



Only to open your mouth waaah and spew trash.



Your type is disgusting!

Richy4:
He might not be cheating....What if he is inexperienced and was covering his inadequacies up....
It's not as if once a man is married, he automatically knows everything that needed to be known based on bedroom matters...

A 30-something year old man without experience in sex that is finding it difficult to ejaculate?


Come on, not everyone can be as gullible as the OP

Sholayeaminebir:
We've been married for 4momthhs now. We are both young, in my miidddle 20s my husband in his early 30.
My husband complains the reason he didn't ejaculated was because I wasn't feeling the sex and that I was dry. Even after I told him it might be as a result of the anti biotics I just finished taking. Pls what should I do

1. He's blaming you
2. He doesn't enjoy sex with you

My conclusion: he's cheating.



Even if a man hates you, once he gets in bed with you, he must release unless there is nothing to release or he can't even get it up.


Stop believing everything a man tells you.

persius555:
Rip well kid. Sloppy adults failed you.

I'm this day and time, where infra red devices are programmed with surveillance cameras to setup alert at real time.
Measures like this need to be in place around pools. I'm presently working on a hotel building and the M&E consultant missed a surveillance spot on the plan.
On the day of running my pipes , I duly alerted the technicians to run a pipe for that spot.
The idiot started asking me if that was necessary. I told him, will he be around if accident start going unnoticed.
He nodded and walked away. Precaution people.

You should have notified the consultant of the oversight before running your pipes, a reasonable person will understand your reasons.



There's a reason why his signature and seal will be on the approval plans, because he will be held responsible for any future problems.


Let's work together for the benefit of good relationships. Peace.

ebubeson:
It is true that "God sees the heart but man looks at the outward appearance", but the same Bible says "let your light so shine before men that they may see your good work and glorify your father which is in heaven".. God still wants you to show outward righteousness so that your light will shine before men and they will see your good works and glorify God.

Men do not have the privilege of seeing our hearts, but God wants you to show them how Godly your heart is by the character you display, and in dressing, in telling the truth, in not collecting bribe, in not duping people, in not fornicating, in not comitting adultery, in not committing evil....

Happy Sunday.

You are 100% correct.

God bless you.

Basiljoe:
*Yawns*

Is that the best you can do?

All these bitter evening Newspapers self with no womb.

Buhahaha


No womb?



Is that what they packaged for you?



Haaaaa I can see why you're projecting your bitterness on me.



Sorry o, won ti gbe e ni handicap.




Buhahahahaha

ISTP:
Omo, at least his excuse for marrying lots of women will be a valid one. He will say it's the leading of the Oracle.

But, what if Oracle directs him to put his right hand in the fire, what will he do?

He's a king, you're not, so you won't understand.

Mryacks:
I understand the points you made. But as per ur second paragraph, I think u misunderstood cos I was not blaming the woman.

I just made a point with reference to 'the handwriting of someone's character" been on obvious when people are dating but still go ahead to end up marrying that same person while expecting a blissful home. Women tend to be mostly at the wrong end of the stick...

I don't think she's at the wrong end of the stick here, she doesn't have a child with him yet, so, she doesn't have to remember him.

She still has her job, so she won't go hungry, so how can she be at the wrong end when she can move on fast.

Basiljoe:
This is how you spot a Bad/Damaged Woman.

I'm even surprised you didn't mention abortion, una regular fail-safe method for bad reproductive choices.

It's obvious you're ignorant, contraceptives are to be used by all women of reproductive age, especially to protect them against primitive, animalistic, irresponsible sperm bags like you.


You can't feed yourself, yet you want to drag innocent women into your eternal poverty.


Nonsense.

ISTP:
So, you support him too? I hail thee.

Nope, I don't support it, but rumor has it that the oracle asked the king to get 12 wives, he refused and stuck with the Prophetess, then a lot of things went wrong, so, now, he's obeying the oracle.

Mindlog:
Some men who have more than one wife, still have side chicks as polygamy does not cure philandering.

To be honest with you, I have looked at some cases, especially when the wife is far away, like overseas, some men simply need a second wife, this is my personal observation, not biblical view.

Mindlog:
If the story is true, why didn't the husband go for medical check-up and possibly, treatment?

He knows that his secret will come out, and he doesn't know if the wife will cover his shame.