₦airaland Forum

kokorunna:
Lecture the children about stealing and tell them about the consequences, if they refuse to change then tell them you will inform their teacher and school about their behaviour.

I agree with the red highlighted statement, just not the other part. This could also be a psychological condition and you woudnt want to exacerbate it by exposing the child or embarrassing the child.

I think the mother needs to get closer to the child and ask questions why is the child doing that in a nice and gentle manner though, this will help the child to open up. Who knows this could lead to the core of the problem. Maybe a child is being bullied to bring money for friends, or they feel the need to fit in and gain popularity among their friends,

I am starting to understand the value of having enough money now, it means you are prepared. Yes the topic is not about money but lets think about it, especially after hearing from responses about some people who do not get along well with their parents/inlaws.

I personaly would choose to keep them, my conscience wont allow me to hand them over to anyone. Now back to the issue of money if you own a house with a big yard then you can build them a cottage within the yard and hire a caregiver to look after them while you are at work, away on holiday or just needing your own space.  By the way this means medical costs and other stuff.

Ok Damn! I must just work hard 'cos we never know what tomorrow brings hey! This is one of the reasons why I need to get rich quick LOL!

Wow! sorry to hear that. I am trying to put myself in your shoes here and I realise just what a difficult situation you are finding yourself in. I am certain that it pleases God that you have forgiven this man. Too many questions are likely to asked concerning your father, trying to answer them or even get him to answer them will be a waste of time.

Your grandparents are right being unhappy about the situation. It was up to you to inform them officially about the set up with your father and what this new life means and how its going to affect them if there's potential for that. Your father is still not man enough to go and apologise to them which he should have done. I am not judging him, its also possible that he is old and too tired of fighting issues of life, I think he came for peace, he must have been too troubled to come back rom where he's been.

You also owe your grandparents an apology for not expalining the whole situation in the firstplace and what you want to do with it. This is a difficult one.

I really hope that the young men who are in this forum take heed of the message in this story and tell their friends that leaving your children or having children that you do not have plans to care for might brign disaster in the end. We are not going to stay forever young and days are much longer when we are older, and this is when we start to reflect on the days gone by. The question is, are we going to look back with Pride?

This is heavy

Poster have you had any talk with your wife about this. I get a sense you havent said anything to her hence she doesnt think of this as an issue or something to take any serious. Please talk to her humbly about the seriousness of the matter and explain why is it so important for her or maybe for you that she learns the language.

I hope you understand that she is already an adult and that this is going to be a mountain for her to get throguh, even more so knowing that she's going to be under a lot of pressure trying to please you and doing this for someone else.

This might be an even bigger problem knowing that you've lived with the situation since you've known her and now two years later in a marriage you want to bring it up. What have you seen better out there? Guess what I am not being mean by asking you this question, just a caution that you should expect such questions from her as she tries to defend herself.

You should talk to her and support her through this. The last thing you need is to make her feel small. This might come out as a personal attack on her esteem and intellect and dont be surprised if she goes on defence mode.

globalaid:
@tolutara, may God continue to bless your marriage, dont mind the haters, the fact their own did not work does not mean yours will not work. Let your marriage keep on growing from glory to glory, you and your hubby are blessed indeed. It will still be like that 10 years, 20 and 60 years.

Nice one. In fact I am tired of talk about marriages gone wrong. Can we at least make talk about good marriages. It will certainly help make good marriage fashionable. Poster keep complementing your man, why not if he deserves it. Thank you for sahring good news for a change. Likewise lets start making good news fashionable please,

1. Be careful what you ask for, you might just get it, "So be very careful"
2. Things arent always as bad as they seem,

Poster I say move out. Dont blame your father for treating you the way he does for the following reasons:

1. Its his house everything under his roof must just obey his laws you cant come with your own rules under somebody elses roof and claim that you are an adult. Adults live indepedently.
2. Sometimes our parents find it difficult to let go and accept the fact that we are all grown up, they will want to protect us at the most silly things. I guess its the only way they know how. Come to think of it they've been doing it all their lives since you came. Nobody told any parent that this job ends/stops at some point. Your father is not being spiteful or anything, he probably thinks he is doing the right thing trying to protect you and doing what a father is suppose to do.

From the lines in your post I get a sense that the only reason why you are still at home is because of societal expectations and standards. I cant blame your societal background in this instance because this would suggest that you havent heared of evolution yourself. C'mon girl you are living in twentieth century,

Black Coffee the artist rocked my holidays with the following house beats.

1. Juju featuring Zakes Bantwini
2. Mama Featuring Ringo
3. Never saw you coming featuring Tsepo
4. Superman featuring Bucie
5. We are one featuring Hugh Masikela

I listen to these songs every morning on my way to and back from work since the beginning of the week. "POSITIVE VIBRATIONS" all around me everytime I play this music in my head and Loud in my car,  I'll probably tell my grandchildren about these songs and how I used to rock the dance floor LOL!

Ooooooh! what a way to end a year and start a new one.

Depending on the circumstance why am I finding myself having to say anything to him, I picture he's decided to come back and make his wrong right. In that case I'd be more happy for him, that he finally found it in him to do the right thing.

Its moments like these that you know a person has been to hell and back it didnt happen overnight. He didnt just wake up one morning scratched his bum, brushed his teeth and decided he was going to look for you.

Human beings dont always make the best of decisions and choices in life. Forgive the poor guy and make good friends or whatever would best define/characterize your relationship. I doubt if it will ever be a father/child relationship. But for what its worth make the most of it and please God. God Loves forgiveness it breeds harmony.

Otherwise If there's no such reason as my example above,  then I have nothing to say to anybody who has nothing to say to me for 15 years. Clearly we must just get on with our lives.

For goodness sake, here we go again. When are we ever going to learn that we should never keep check of our life existance against numbers. Young and old people we must learn to live and let live. You are not half human because you've just turned 25 and not married let alone have a boyfriend not to mention a guy who gives you that second look, same for guys. If its what you want then it will happen when it happens. Just live and never be stuck in the mud, For Christ sake please stop it this is so tired,

Bless be all of you Naira's,

Fhemmmy, are you ever going to tell us the answer to your question? You've even managed to open old wounds that's enough,

Guys thanks for your word of reason. I often cant stand people who carry on through life with self inflicted misery (this may be harsh, sorry). You know those people I am talking about, their world is made of "I who have nothing, I who have no one". I cant understand them because in my world there's a solution to every problem, and I have also learned to live well enough without, and accept things I cannot change. Yes some days are harder, but for each one of those days there's faith. Oh! by the way "Be careful what you ask for, cos you might just get it" Life has taught me that too,

Sorry for getting all heavy over such candid talk guys,

May all the women/men of earth that yearn for children be blessed with plenty children, this will be my prayer tonight,

I think sex education is good especially if it comes from home. The problem we are faced up with is the education system that opens a lot of information to children without taking care of the basics, or creating a buffer that will assit children to understand how and when to use the information thay have. How do you give a child sex education and not complement such curricular with moral and ethical responsibility.

I still believe that this lack of moral and ethical education in early education is absolutely irresponsible and criminal.

Out of curiousity please allow me to ask this, being married and childless is it really a desparate situation?

Guys I see women well beyond 30, 35 and at 40 pregnant everyday. Is the poster's statement or question real? I dont know but I may have to differ,

I cant be with somebody that cant go out for anything. It may be cute in the beginning since I'll be getting all the attention I want from a man, but do you know what its like to be in each other's spaces and faces ALL the time as a couple. I mean there'll be times when I really dont fancy your company and that doesnt mean I love you any less as my partner. We need to miss each other in between if you know what I mean. I wouldnt ask him to change but get him to understand that I still needs my alone moments and that I still need to go out every now and then whether alone/friends/him and I dont expect him to find anything wrong with that.

I also have a problem with the fact that he is not flexible in anyway to accommodate other people. Some occassions/moments are best spent with your partner e.g. year end functions at work, a friends baby christaning (hope spelled correct), weddings, dinner with friends and plenty more,

No! No! he is definately not my kind of guy. I'd probably keep him as a friend, you know a Shoulder to cry on LOL!

That's an easy one and a lot of on point messages have been sent through!

1. Ask yourself what have you learned form this
2. Walk on by
3. Wherever you going, take the lessons with,

^^^^I am feeling this thriller thing, See me moving my head from side to side,

I wonder why is it that this thread didnt linger on. Interesting Topic. I am almost tempted to say "I feel very sorry for the man that is going to marry me because I aint going nowhere" divorce is erased in my vocab. But on the flip side !$# happens and its the way of life, If there's children please can I have them and dont make it a mountain to climb for me on this one,

Stevie Wonder Again,

HAVE A TALK WITH GOD

There are peolpe who have let the problems of today
Lead them to conclude that for them life is not the way
But every problem has an answer and if yours you cannot find
You should talk it over to him, He'll give you peace of mind
When you feel your life's too hard
Just go have a talk with God,

If you can find time please find the lyrics even the song. The song got me thingking how at times advice from people can be so tiring and the last thing one needs to hear, I am sure many of us have been to that point before where all is grey, nothing making any sense and you just want people to shoosh up!

Oh! by the way its a song you can get jiggy with ENJOY!

Could people not have children out of wedlock, its just not the one,

Poster what are you saying? now that you know what you know she is then not worthy of love?

C2H5OH:
@Poster, are you infertile?

Ohhh! you just killed me with laughter right there please dont do that, tltltl

I want to get married because I want to have a lifetime companion. I want a witness on my side as I walk the path of life, and compatibility counts in this regard. However let us not be naive over the fact that there is a very very thin line beween love and hate. This now brings me to the issue of a marriage contract. Let us not forget the fact that as we grow along with our partners (married or single) we invest time, energy, collective decisions are made which people would not otherwise make as individuals, hence the contract. I will sign that contract in a heart beat.

I've always been a firm believer in the notion that Love is not relative but absolute, hence I wouldnt need a piece of paper to prove it, but experience gave me a hard slap right across my face. He moved to a different city (career move) and it all went pear shaped. It was a mutual agreement and I cited to him that I wouldnt want to be that women who's standing in the way of his dreams and that for as long as he is with me he is free to be. I didnt want him to resent chosing me over his life in the end. This was something I could easily understand because I know myself once I feel like I am being bound to something I cant function properly. I mean afterall what could possibly end our love it was ABSOLUTE. Well guess what? it all crumbled before my eyes and I couldnt save even the most beautiful and simple momets we had, not a thing.

We loved each other enough to let go when the time came. When we both agreed to end things it was painful to watch us fight about which property is to be sold since we had acquired and invested in a number of properties together and this was a business decision. I couldnt believe the deppression that came with it and at some point I thought perhaps things could have been better if people agreed on contracts which we both didnt believe in while busy thinking ours is untouchable.

Be careful there is danger in absolute love. Should the end come and I repeat, should the end come you lose all the way. Its been two years and its like I gave absolutely to him and there isnt any day I wake and not thank God for having revealed the love I had for another person within me. If I ever get over this and find it in me to love again I will definately do the marriage thing with a contract.

Ohhh! its cold in here, naira's I said you shouldnt make me laugh like that. Seriuosly now I almost fell off my chair,

YEAH! OGAGA4LUV OOOO, are you referring to me typing names instead of quoting their posts. Please get me out of my misery, tried this insert quote icon but was a bit sceptical that it might not be seen on the other side, OGAGA4LUV to the rescue please

Queenesthr, Come now! you know we all have those things in our lives that makes us chuckle every now and then especially when you see them happen

Good morning or evening friends
Here's your friendly announces
I have serious news to pass on to everybody
What I am about to say
Could mean a world's disaster
Could change your joy and laughter
To tears and pain

It's that
Love's in need of love today
Dont delay
Send yours in right away
Hate's going 'round
Breakin gmany hearts
Stop it please
before its gone too far

Shhhh! that's Stevie Wonder singing, so please sing along if you know the song and have a blessed day

^^^ the boys from private school I see around and am very close to are the extreme. I mean snooty, turkey, they fancy themselves the alpha male and are totally unforgiving to anybody who cant speak their mind, be seen and heared. They will label you "one dimensional" if you cant rize to the occassion. I personally dont promote anything turkey if its filled with attitude, but to be honest their company is always refreshing every now and then.

From what you've just said I guess what I take for myself is that, there's people who are just polite and conservative and will chose to open up only when they are around people they are most comfortable with. Its a character/personality thing in the end. e.g. Obama and think Obam the man and not the president, given his background if you could put him the "hood" if you know what I mean he'll survive just fine. No hustle, no mess, no fuss (at least that's what I think).

The same goes for the boys I am talking about in my first paragraph. They can hold their own at any given situation, time, place and people around. They come to the township (the hood in SA) they fit in, they speak the lingo (street language), take them to the bundus (rural and remote places) its alright with them just bring it on and they will handle. By the way I know of plenty girls with that streak hey!.