₦airaland Forum

chingyjant: Venezuela is one big hell of irony where people are suffering in the mist of plenty irrespective of their oil money.Another end of an era of a Dictator.Rest in peace

JallowBah: It`s not like all of the women LIKE cleaning either, you know.

I actually hate it. It is boring and I wish I did not have to do it, but I still do it, because it is needed.

JallowBah: I have not changed anything, it is you and the other dude who just assumed I -made- my husband to the chores.
I could never marry a man that wanted me to do everything in the house, even when both of us are working. He has clearly said he could never marry a woman who expected him to pay everything.

My husband is a lion. Him not working fulltime does not make him any less of a man.
I have been appreciating him all along, it is not my fault you boys make up stories and think to yourself that because he do chores, "SHE MUST HAVE MADE HIM DO IT!".

The agreement for us is that when we work full-time, we take apx half/Half each. He has responsibility for some parts of the house, I have for others.
If one of us cook, the other take the dishes.
Most of the time, it is me taking the clothes, floor all around, cleaning the fridge when needed, windows etc.
Most of the time, he takes the bathroom-cleaning.
For us, this agreement works. For others, probably not.

JallowBah: Lol. Did I choose to be born in my country...? Nah, didn`t think so. Do you really mean that because something is not fair, you should not try to MAKE IT FAIR..?

People in my country pay TAXES sp the goverment can pay out not stipend, but social-help, so you can survive. Most of the time, it is barely enough for rent an food, and all other bills get pushed away. There is a reason not many people stay long on that one.

I have never had a swedish man in my life, and I have never imposed anything on my husband. I have talked about what I like to him, and so has he, and then we have come to an agreement together, like grown ups do. Exactly WHAT we have talked about, is impossible for you to know.

I work full time, he work part-time. So..guess that one falls out for you.
I have been paying more rent than him when we were both working full-time, so some the money could go for his mother, and for kids to go to school. He has been in Eu for 10 years without me, and has an arrangement on that already. Almost all the people in his family makes money on farming, or with real jobs, so they do not depend on him, it is mainly for school.

I have given money for my mother in law, yes. How much is none of your business, is it?

My husband is a lion, and I am his lioness. He shows me great respect, and I show him the same. He was living alone for more than 10 years with no wife, no mother, so he knows how to cook and clean, and I did not have to make him do anything in the house, he took the responsibility himself. That makes him less of a man in YOUR eyes.

JallowBah: If the husband think it is ok, good for them!

But for ME...I don`t know. It`s just not fair in my eyes. I would not feel proud spending all my money on my self, and expecting him to take full responsibility for finances. Again, that is ME.

jidegirl12: @Michky... I've asked this before and ask again, when we talk about household chores division , what and what can you or not do?
I understand your standpoint very very well, you don't want your woman telling you what to do ko? cos they tend to make it a hobby , I get it.
But wouldn't it be nice/ romantic if you could help with manly stuff like shovelling, mowing lawn , fix stuff round the house , gas the vehicles/ take to car wash and so on? Mind you , you can pay to do those things too without anybody/ bills suffering from those extra expenses.

Lets leave @Jallowbah out of this, she's not Nigerian and didn't even marry one so I don't see why going back & forth with her. I respect her values but 95%Nigerian men are way afar from that attribute and that's why the Topic kept coming up gazillionth time.That being said, whatever works for everybody ( I know it's kinda cheesy )

kandiikane: Yes, because if many arguing were married or even living with their partner they will know every marriage/partnership is different. What works for someone doesn't work for another. Washing your wife's panties doesn't make you any less of a man, you are not better than her. Marriage is a union and you're meant to work together. It's not a union where it's king and subject. If you don't have a job, you Should help around the house, it doesn't make you any less of a man. This shows the disrespect and ill mentality Many men have for women.

"Oh, I'm not a domesticated cat,Why should I wash plates?" what the hell, does that mean? Respect your woman and treat her as you would want to be treated if you want to have a happy and bliss union.

JallowBah: You can laugh all you want. Our agreement has not been an issue because we DECIDED TOGETHER. You know: grown ups can talk to each other, and find out what they want together.
Guessing that is too difficult for you to grasp.

JallowBah: So because me and my husband have an agreement in our marriage, tells you I am coming with western bullsh*t?
Grow up, dude.

And what the hell is going on with your comparison to fruits and animals? My husband is a human, a damn fine one as well.

Boss13: So that later you can call him a useless man, your mates are making money and you are here siting down with me. Abeg be a honest woman and stop this nonsense forming naija woman dey do these days. We men know una.

JallowBah: Lol. Oh, so because I am oyinbo I can have no matter in any discussions in here? Bullsh*t

JallowBah: I already chose love over money, and have not regretted one, single day since. I can work and make money as well, you know. As long as we have food on the table, roof over our heads, and are still able to help his family when needed..I am happy.

Yes, things would be easier with more money, of course. But I have also had my husband working his a*s off, and almost not being home, and I see what I prefer.