₦airaland Forum

Hungry Professor!

You are feeling the heat and hunger pangs now that ASUU has gone on their seasonal strike again and you can't sell handouts now!

I guess your old jalopy 1976 Peugeot 504 has started overheating again!?

Abeg give me 2Baba's illiteracy but add his millions join

Only in Nigeria bloody policemen order Lawmakers to leave their chambers with immediate effect!

And the same Lawmakers drive home with their fully armed police escorts in jeeps

This after converting our Abuja National Stadium to a Fulani cattle grazing field and our National Theater in Lagos to a free-trade zone for narcotics?!

My brother congratulations first! At least someone has finally seen potentials in your CV to invite you to a hotel for a training (It's actually going to be a 1hour speech)!

Lasaco Insurance will be offering you a role as a Marketing Executive with NO salary, NO official car, NO accommodation, NO wardrobe allowance and NO transport allowance!

You will only be paid based on commission from the value of insurance products you sell successfully (i.e No work No pay)!

You will however be given a temporary ID card and copies of the company's general purpose complimentary cards where you have to include your phone number with a pen by your self!

It's a marketing job and you'll have to trek long distances on foot in Lagos moving from office to office, school to school, church to church looking for people to buy your insurance products (Life and None-Life Products)!

I suggest you buy a very good shoe with a strong sole or add metal shoe bucklers to your present shoes to stand the test of time!

Pleased don't say that I am discouraging you because I would gladly accept this job if it were in the US or UK!

The only set back with insurance jobs in Nigeria is patronage and poor government policy support. Only a few Nigerians understand why they should insure their properties and lives! The others will tell you God forbid! It won't happen to me! God is my insurance! Some pay their insurance in the form of tithes and offerings to their Pastors!

Take this for free, based on our 190Million population, insurance products should be a BIG sale in Nigeria but today 80% of cars have fake insurance papers or do not have at all!

Weldone Mr Investigator!

Has she lied to anyone in the 'boring' house that she was single?!

The lady is only playing out her strategy to win the dough while you are out there forming Cheaters Investigator

Gifty is far ahead of the other Pidgin speaking, Boring, Clueless and Weak housemates.

This one will never cheat again!

Even in the next life he will return without his screw driver!?

This kind of women will NOT be admitted to hell as a tormented soul, she gets an immediate placement as An Experienced Hire to torment not just other souls but erring demons also!

Rick Ross always reminds me of my dearly departed Uncle, Oliver De Coque

He was supposed to have played at my wedding this year but I will manage Rick Ross as a replacement, I told my boo this last month and since then he has stopped picking my calls, he's always in a meeting everyday even at 6am

Do you think he has left me?!

No comment

Dear Don Jazzy,

This guy is not simply drawing your picture with garri in this recession for the fun of it or to show case talent!

He just sent you a serious message.

Please 'shake body' for Posterity's sake!

Abrupt:
Small small with the lies. BTW, do you know that 'Thunder' is the sound made after lightening strikes? So, literally 'Thunder' can't fire anybody.

Oga, you come to my village. There you hear the thunder before you even see the lightening!

This EFCC guy is joking with thunder!

He fails to realize that some thunders have no respect for seasons in some parts of Nigeria!

I remember witnessing a thunderstorm in my village in the middle of the DRY SEASON at my WICKED uncles traditional marriage

Hian!?

I actually saw this coming

Their excuse will be that El Zakzaky has been behind bars for 2years now and the world has not ended!

Let's balance the equation with a popular Christian preacher

This EFCC guy is joking with thunder!

He fails to realize that some thunders have no respect for seasons in some parts of Nigeria!

I remember witnessing a thunderstorm in my village in the middle of the DRY SEASON at my WICKED uncles traditional marriage

Hian!?

This man just made my day!

What an orgasmic feeling

I have a very bad feeling that the DSS wants to balance the religious scale of El-zakzaky's continuous incarceration with a Christian Pastor!

Hmmm, why did you have to fall victim my beloved Apostle Suleiman?!

Do they still serve watery beans in the DSS holding cells?!

I'm really sad for this guy!

Everything seems to be working against him since he took up this appointment, even death did not play fair with his family

This event might just compassionately save him from being axed as Minister

All this dust simply because he called you a small rat?!

A good friend will simply call him back a bigger rat, have a good laugh and move on with life!

Phyno the Fada-Fada crooner according to Nigerian bloggers

Great song though!

If Yahaya Bello is a small rat even with his 3 beautiful wives as Governor then what kind of rat is Dino Melaye himself?!

Then going further, what kind of rats are Saraki, El-Rufai, Tinubu, Okorocha, Wike and our beloved Fayose?!

I'm afraid to add another name, but i'll keep checking Dino's wikipedia for updates.

This beautiful woman with her fine make up left her house that morning on her 2 legs but will forever remain one-legged till her time is up!

She has now become a disable!

This life is a script that is still being written

May God protect us from wicked drivers on our terrible Nigerian roads especially Dangote and Setraco trucks!

I reserve my comment!

This Bobrisky is getting so popular He sorry She could replace Oluremi Tinubu at the Senate in the next elections

You really don't have to be a Sportsman, Politician, Actor or Musician to be famous now in Nigeria, just display Raw, Consistent and Unadulterated STUPIDITY!

I seriously pity those jobless army of followers on Social Media that won't let me rest with Bobrisky's every movement.

But I still insist on blaming Buhari

Please remind me who called this country a zoo the last time......?!

We didn't need a soothsayer to predict these predictions of yours Mr Freeze!

But come to think of you freeze, Na who you don epp?

If your nanny was considering investing in MMM then maybe you are not paying her enough to even dream of a better life for herself!?

MMM maybe Ponzi and unstable as all its participants knew but they changed the lives of many Nigerians!

Please let's see you CHANGE the life of your beloved nanny by selling one of your EXPENSIVE wristwatches to upgrade her life and maybe Nigerians will start taking you serious!

Unapologetic!

Probably after much Sapele water!

Tell me any state in Nigeria without Power issues thanks to the Minister of Darkness

Why do I get this feeling that I just wasted my MB on this comment?!

Only 6months of unemployment and he has already lost his mind

An idle mind indeed is the devil's workshop!

I however refuse to cast the first stone instead.............

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I choose to blame Buhari.

Unapologetically!