₦airaland Forum

Indeed, you are wise in thinking.. This is what I do tell all those girls that are miseducated. If you are luck to have your both parent alive "ask your mum how she was able to cope with your dad" also ask "parents above 60yrs, how they are able to cope".. I read a lot of comments from most girls here and shake my head in pity for some... lol..

NobleAngell:
Truth is, our parents endured alot just to keep their home. But we kids of nowadays are looking for the perfect man, home and circumstances.

And what is wrong with that? Especially since they are sharing different flats.. Is it now a crime for families to live together??

Femsyn:
Why are you staying in your husband's brother's house with 5 children?

What's the duration? What's the code ? I also use glo...

WalkerMichael:
Airtel are scam. I stopped using them weeks ago.

I now use Glo, 1,500naira sub gives me as much as 8-9gb. + did I mention the huge call bonus I was given too? Glo just needs to work more on their Internet. They offer the best data plan in Nigeria.

I really don't understand why you're so pained Ma....Please, I'll advice you go and look for your kind. I'm not on this platform to exchange insults..Henceforth, All attention denied.. E.O.D

kaziblake:
I Pity your wife!You are an hypocrite!

Do you want me to say that you are dumb not to have noticed where I said that? You need not remind me of that..lol...

I rarely do not answer people that approaches me with insult.. Channel your energy into getting a client that you can cook for or run errand than looking for who to insult.. If my opinion is not OK by you, just pass. You mustn't comment..

lol

kaziblake:
I read all your comment and discovered one thing..
An hypocrite!

lol.. Apart from the politicians and business typcoon children, rarely can we live the life we want in this part of the world.. No thanks to bad leadership.. We are so grounded to suffering and smilings here.. It's always survival of the fittest deep in our marrow..


5G poses more threat to us and surely it will increase unemployment rate. Human will destory this earth ourselves. Now is the time to hustle hard, acquire assets before the drought that is coming. God help us...

emmaodet:
I tell you bro, capitalism destroyed the whole system, alllllllll.
I don't read novels anymore, now it is all about make money, make more money, i said make more and more money eeeeeehhhhh
Money money money, sexx sexx sexx, more money more money more money
A very dangerous rat race, insatiable.
Sometimes i do think about it - how did we get to this stage??
Sometimes, i just get tired and really want the quite, gentle , slow natural life.
Really missing it bro because the world is too competitive now.
Now, am not even scared of competing with my fellow human beings anymore.
By the time the 5G network comes online fully, 50-80% of people will lose there jobs and businesses to machines/robots.
Bro believe me, you can't compete with those useless things called robots.
A good example is the common machine we all know and like to use called ATM machine.
It displaces a lot of workers from the bank, saves cost effectively, can work 24hrs a day without complaining, tired, regularly asking for pay raise nor fraudulent like humans.
That is exactly what autonomous cars will do to drivers, pilots, sailors. Even the agricultural sector won't be left out.
I watched a youtube video of robots planting, spraying herbicides and insecticides, fertilizers, harvesting and clearing the farms effectively with little to none human intervention. It means the small scale farmers, local farmers will all be wiped off the market by gigantic agricultural companies with latest robots to produce ridiculously cheap and plenty foods.
Bro, the future for the first time to me is really Scary

Remain blessed.. God shall lift you up continally..

Tankunland:
aww God bless you so so much. Wow you and few people kept me alive ooo. O I'm so grateful and God bless you for that wonderful piece of advice that day. I really appreciate you. Have a lovely night rest

The girl is a clown.. She succeeded in taking the guy on a ride..hahaha.. Even the guy was lost! Funny girl!!

Smile.. Happy you embrace such advice.. Now you have find your way back to being happy because the future is bright .. Thank God for you...

Tankunland:
Lol were you the one sir ? Were you the one that give me that advice sir ? Wow

Just as I adviced you back then....Now go forth and advice people in such circumstance that you were; to learn a skill too.

Tankunland:
It was a Thursday in the month of September and i had walked and trekked all over IKEJA from 12pm till 5pm knocking on the door of every single hotel I could find asking them if they needed a new staff because I had been jobless for close to 6 months after loosing my job in the hotel where I worked.


I so needed a job because I was dead broke, hopeless, tired and on the verge of losing my mind when I got home tired and hungry by 7pm from my job hunting with just 50 naira left in my pocket when my neighbor came to knock on my door to tell me it was my turn to load our prepaid meter and I needed to get it done ASAP as it was gonna finish anytime soon.


I sighed in helplessness, I looked up the Sky looking for the savior in desperation and told her mu neighbor that I would get it done, When I got into my bedroom I collapse on my bed and called both the only 2 friends I had to send me 1k to load my apartment's electricity but both of them gave me the same answer GUY ME SEF BROKE PASS YOU and as I was contemplating my next course of action my neighbor MAMA CHINEDU came to knock again on my door but this time she yelled and called my name Mr Michael ( not my real name) you are the only one that stays at home and finishes this light please go get it done soon as I was making dinner for my husband because it won't be funny if this light gets to go off and as I laid helplessly on my bed I had her grumpling and walking away and right there and then I said yes it's enough, I can't take it again, no more, I was weak, i was defeated, i was empty and no will to fight again as the fight of the last 6 months had taking every single bit of strength from me and i went into my bathroom to take a bottle of sniper I had bought a week prior to that day and when I got back to my bedroom i cried, I prayed for the acceptance of my soul in heaven and called on my mom to come wait for me at the gate of heaven and on the verge of downing it all with my heart pounding so fast and my hands shaking uncontrollably a spirit just told me to bury my head in shame and beg publicly on Nairaland and live to fight another day and guy's with tears in my eyes and my bruised pride and ego I wrote an epistle on a DAVIDO and CHIOMA's thread even with my social media account as prove that I was real I begged on this forum that day and some people called me a scammer, some called me a liar but some encouraged me and told me not to give up and some beautiful soul send me all together 9k but one advice that changed a lot of things was a guy that told me young man instead of looking for a job while not create a job for yourself that's me learning a skill so I would sell to people and right there I decided to learn how to fix CCTV camera.


Now I'm about to get into the story fully

You said it all. This is what I meant by "woman control man but some guys just jump at it without reading btw the lines..lol


[/quote author=donbachi post=88212872]Na e make my people sey "wen woman sabi the heart of her husband,dem go sey she give am love portion"[/quote]

Where there is no love, where discord of hatred has been built over some period, such can happen.. At times it could be that the married wasn't even meant to be, maybe circumstances lead to the marriage. It could be that the Husby didn't love your aunty. Yes, it'll be hard to please the man or the woman..

No doubt, some men are naturally wicked. The article is geared toward an average man.

Permit me to say this, Your Aunty married one of such men that are categorize as Saddist or a Mad Man.. Would a sane man beats himself? Whosoever beats his wife, beats himself because you has become one. So we're made to believe. Personally, I do not support violence of any nature most especially when it comes from the man..

GraGra247:
Sotland, I've seen women do exactly what you recommended 2 times over and the man is still adamant and wicked.

My late beloved aunt was an example. Her husband was a champion outside but a wicked tyrant at home.

No amount of petting or calling him good names sufficed. He beats her at every slight mistake and at that in front of their children. He makes same mistakes over again himself.

There are men that are naturally wicked. Nothing can tame them. They're only nice for a short period of time.

You know a lot of women think men are the major problem-bearers in a relationship like marriage.

First of all how easily can you say “I AM SORRY” and you genuinely mean it? You know ehh, that you hurt someone or offended someone isn’t really the issue.

Most times it’s your attitude after that offense that aggravates or ameliorates the whole issue and situation. It starts from how you talk to him.

Your I-don’t-give-a-Bleep stance or go-Bleep-yourself attitude is what brings out the demon in him and it quickly erases any chance of forgiveness.

Zero remorse makes forgiveness impossible. Trying to prove your right standing bleeps up everything even when you know you are wrong.

Go and learn how to pet and respect a man then you have got his remote control.

Everyman is easy to keep and control but you have not figured this out. You are still busy implementing what your friends told you or what you watched on TV.

As long as you are always trying to challenge your husband, as long as you are always coming off with that war, nag and antagonistic mien; my sister forget it, na fight fight you go fight for that marriage tire!!

On the inside you are a dead soul but on the outside you are forming agu nwanyi (tigress). You are forming Bruce lee but you are fed up with the fights and zero marital peace.

When last did you hail him cute names as you ushered him to the dining table to eat his dinner?

Like “Nwoke omam, utom oma, utu gbawara Igwem, dim oma your food is ready”.

Call him “papa okey”, he will be a papa okey to you. Men are gods! What you call your god, that is how your god will respond.

Your husband is your Lordship and the Demi-god you see after God almighty, argue with your left ovary.

Keep doing the wrong thing and expect to be loved and pampered. Treat him like a king then you have won him over. Then you would watch him enthrone you most.

But if you feel you want to remain a fighter, you go fight tire. Learn to handle a man’s ego then you got the keys to his heart, then you got his mumu button.

For the girls out there and as many with their Nigeria version of faminism and gender equality, if you want to keep fighting, go ahead, you would age faster than your mates.

Copied!

cruxgemmata:
Wont still eradicate side chicks. They will become side wives.

If a man marries 20ladies. Trust me. He still get 3 side chicks outside. This time around the side chicks mayb married too, so they become side wives.

Make una no listen to OP oooo. Marry what u can control and avoid drama coz na d drama dey kill men b4 clocking 50years old.

Can a woman control a man?

NoToPile:
The vow broken is the 'Forsaking all others' part.

Honestly I need you to enducate me on the vows taking.. Maybe I am missing something, so I'll appreciate it if you can..

adedayoa2:
You're crazy, talking to her as if she's at fault.

lol.. Crazy indeed..

ayanbaba2:
that Sotland moniker brain has been infested by COVId_20!

he just proved he's a Nigerian!

Sorry.. I am not into your usual quarrels here... So, I'd leave you to your insults and negative approaches.. Lol.. E.O.D... I deal with people that can chat or argue in a polite way without insults

ayanbaba2:
...you mentioned Christian (forgive & forget), marriage vows and hypocrite in your comment!

your IQ is "superb".

just read what you wrote line-by-line. You shouldn't have pen this down!

hypocrite!

lol.. Truth is always a pain to many.. Oh Yes, Like I said "many of us" are hypocrite... If Op likes let her adhere to negative advice . People like you are just adding salt to injury, poisoning her mind... Las las she has a choice to make.. Stay with her husband and manage the situation or end in divorce and that should give you all joy.. Negative energies

elektra:
Lol, classic Nigerian Christianity.

Husband commits adultery
Nigerian christian: bible does not condemn polygamy, husband did not break any vows, he loves and cares for wife because they share the same roof.

Wife refuses to fund child
Nigerian christian: bible preaches forgive and forget, to separate finances is a sign of unforgiveness, such a grave sin.

So many narrow minded people..lol.. Just a simple question she fails to answer but rather chooses to derail and keep running round the circuit such like a clown.

Toxic character here to instigate a divorce.. Op be wise, don't allow someone advice here leads to your divorce. Many of them ain't even married. A word is enough for the wise...

bukatyne:
In trying to tell the OP to 'forgive' her husband and resolve the issue, don't make light of her pains please.

I also do not know the wedding vows you are talking about. I see you mention Christian that's why I am quoting you.

You are the bigger hypocrite because you know what the husband did is wrong on all fronts. Except you are using the Nigerian Bible, you would acknowledge that the husband broke his vows by committing adultery.

Perhaps! You don't understand English or know the use of words. So, I think I will let the hypocritical part slide..lol


Kindly tell me what are the marriage vows?, educate me on that by listing it as said on the day of wedding.. I await to hear it..

Mavis3:
Thank you for this. I feel the same way.The child is not part of my plan and I really don't see him as my responsibility but solely his and I don't think I can give my consent to that.

I bet you would have preferred you and your husband adopt right?

Instead of you to accept the child as yours since the child is your husband blood. You are allowing your mind to be filled with ungodly thoughts..

Oh! It's the financial that is your concern right? Then split the account and take what's yours.. This even shows that you didn't forgive him truly but just trying to live by it..

Remember Nine Years no child.. So, is you or your husband getting any younger? You doesn't beat you, he still loves you and takes care of you. He didn't vent his anger or frustration for not having child or children, he protects you from relatives/outsiders and you don't appreciate it..

What if he decides to marry another wife today, will you divorce him?

Tell me is there a place in the Bible that condemn polygamy? Please give me the verse biko.


Many of us are hypocrites.. We claim to be christian yet we can't practice the true doctrine of the bible "Forgive & Forget"..

Imagine how everyone is condemning the Husband. And that will keep poisoning your mind and heart.

Someone even said he broke the marriage vows as if he or she understands what marriage vow is.. He's still having her under his roof, he still love and cares for her..So which vow was broken?

Becareful the kind of council you receive out here.. The deed is done. Just live in peace with your husband..

One secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...it is a mystery so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

@ the bolded is not true cos ive tried severally to develop feelings for one or two good guys I felt would make a perfect spouse but it just didn't click. And it took me years trying to see if there's a way I can build the love for these guys, or feel something for them but same same.
You can't really force this feelings or develop it yourself, it won't work. This things happen naturally and if it not there, it not there. That is why most marriages are having problems today because you have people advising you saying, " you can build love, love grows in marriage, just marry the man first and love will come later" jaggons. If it actually works like that, then it would have happened for me when I tried forcing it for those guys I talked about earlier.

Feeling is something you can't control. That is why when you feel something for someone, you can't control how fast it grows until it reaches a peak where it becomes a threat. Likewise you dont have the power to control your feelings and make it grow for someone it doesn't click with. It's a natural phenomenon beyond every living being.

Please let not be misguided.
I believe in true love with genuine feelings and that is what covers all sins. As in no matter what the person does to you, you still want to be with them.

It took me 4 years after my ex to fall in love again. And this new guy is a Nairalander. Yes! And this happened within a few weeks. But we had a little misunderstanding and I was heartbroken to which I confided in a guy here about how I felt. So he asked me, how long have I dated this new guy that the love hurts so badly. I told him just a few weeks and he went wow! Like is it not too early to love so deeply?
Now I didn't realized that my feelings had grown so fast and so deep for this guy until he mentioned it and I paused to think but realized its not my fault! Its how nature works and we can't control these things.

I disagree with your opinion that feelings cannot be controlled.. What are feelings? They are love, hatred, anger and every other emotions. Feelings are nature, so they spring up naturally but it's left for you to channel it properly. Feeling s( like, love, hate, anger etc) can be controlled.. Human beings have the power to control it.. This is one gift that even God cannot take away from us Free Will... We can control feelings..

You speak of true love. True love is simple yet entails a lot. What most of you calls love is lust. You could quickly switch to pain, anger when heartbroken and then you split or jilt your partner in the context of relationship. Then you claim you truly love him or her? This is lust not true love... There is just one word for true love, it's unconditional sacrifice. Even, the bible preaches it. The principle of Forgive and Forgot is where True love is built...

The Op actually nailed it.. It is better for a lady to marry who loves them then who they love. Most ladies that marry who they love and not who loves them, end up wrongly.

Punish her by sending her nude on the internet? Don't be heartless and if you do that, you won't go freely in today's Nigeria.. Don't try to act stupidly, just leave her and move on. You've already seen the sign

Broda.. Don't be emotional enslaved and you are gradually losing it....Stay focus on how to make it in life.. You should be worried about not having a passive income earning rather than about a girl.. Use your brain...A word is enough for the wise..

Activeman391:
Mr Sabi all go and help the govt by doling out money to the poor since u have enough and stop masturbating ur ignorance here ..u simply don't know wat hunger can do to a man's brains cos u have nt worn the shoes before[sub][/sub].

If you can't comment in a polite manner, go look for who to insult and start online war with.. I'm not one of those kinds.. I adore politeness, end of discussion!

Activeman391:
Oga it's people like u that will refuse to give ur neighbor food even if he comes to beg. Let me ask u how many people around u have u helped since this lockdown started.Ur heart is made of stone and certainly do not care about other people dying of hunger simply because u want to keep your head safe from covid 19 virus. Death is Death whether thru virus or hunger .there is no such thing as better death. Since the govts have failed in thier part do not Blame the poor if they choose to take their chances out there while running from hunger cos both kills.

You don't know me and so have no right to split nonesense from your mouth.. If you need help declare it here... Stop been ignorance and help Nigeria stop the foreseen outburst of this epidemic... We don't have to suffer because of the likes of you that exhibit ignorance ..

Adonko:
Oh so you prefer they die of hunger abi?

Die in which hunger? Even if you give Nigerians 1 month notice to lock down;still a lot of people will cry of hunger.. Did this so called hunger starts today or yesterday? The same negligence by the govt and ignorance of the people led countries like Italy,UK, US and Spain in the state of emergency that they are.. Are we waiting till there is an outburst of this epidemic in Nigeria before we believe it is real and in the country??

Did you get to read or listen to BBC, CNN or ALJ news? 500+ dies daily in UK, 700+ in Spain just yesterday and 800+ in Italy. These are countries where there is an outbreak. Now is this what we are waiting to see happen in Nigeria? Is it until then that people will believe its happening and stay put at home? I almost shed tears yesterday whilst sitting in front of my TV and watching news hour..

A lot of people claim Nigeria weather is too hot for covid-19. Is our weather hotter than Dubia? Yet dubia shut down economy activities and also observe sit@home. Is our weather hotter than Saudi? Yet even mecca was shut down... Religious fanatics in Nigeria choose to remain clueless and blindfolded. Even Vatican shut down.

Hungry didn't start today, it won't end tomorrow. There must be the poor among us. Yes, the system did subject us to the lifestyle suffering and smiling, as well as that of survival of the fittest as if we are in the wildlife..lol..

The government took a perfect measure..hunger/starvation for two weeks won't kill anyone..if so be it that hunger strikes, let them ask neighbours for aid.. This is the time of helping .


I am not in support of people of ignorance who choose not to adhere to this measure of sit at home. We are stiffneck people in this nation.

Let us pray for God to heal our Land and the World at large.. We should make a hay while the shine.. #STAY@HOME #HUNGERDON'TKILL #HUNGERNOBETODAY ..

SOTY

mexican:
Almost failed a test!!! That's hilarious! I can relate very well. Many days, when lost in a story, I will forget to eat, bath and do ther essential things. Hhaha. But the good thing is that reading makes us better. we can think better and come up with creative answers even when we are dont know it specifically like those that read from sunrise to sunset, we still pass like them. I think thats how I passed throughout my school days.
Good times!

Keep reading bro.

Keep reading? I have lost that part of me that loves reading.. Now, we are in the world of survival of the fittest.. Even if you have millions today, Govt could come up with a policy that will run down your millions into thousands..Gobe! Bro now, its all about meeting financial target, exceeding it and creating another target.. The only reading I get to do these days is researching whatever can increase my pocket and strategies to achieve it.. Gone are the days of reading for pleasure, such days may be reinstall but not now. This is what this messed up society has laid for common citizens..Always survive of the fittest...hehehe

mexican:
I remember Jeffrey Archer. I remember a friend of mine that loved his books if I recall correctly.
Not a big fan of old Shakespeare novels, but I admit it is nice in a kind of way. The October horse? Never heard of it but will check it out.

Archer is such a good author.. Kane & Abel full of suspense.. Truly I love that novel, took quite some days to read the entire novel.. At the end of every chapter, you won't want to close the book.. Back then, i almost failed a test because of the novel hehehe

Kane and Abel by Jeffrey Archer.
Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare
The october horse by colleen Macullough

I can't stop loving this novels

Mercisharelove:
For the mission.... We have a ministry Scotland, we keep keeping on. Thanks

What ministry could that be? lol