₦airaland Forum

You lost your job then 'dumped' your girl? How does shooting yourself in the foot feel?

All this prayer talks tends to get me vexed! Kilode?

Mention any problems you are having and you are immediately told to drop to your knees and pray if you havent already done so. I believe in the efficacy of prayer but on the other hand you have to take so decisive steps to fix stuff and not wait on God to come down.

Doesnt your mum speak English? 
There's something about people riverting to a language they know you dont understand. Sometimes no bad things may be said but they just want to make you feel you dont belong. 

My husband is from a different tribe. I do not understand their language. They speak English when I am around. Everyone is happy.

A lot of them live way beyond their means. Those flashy cars are bought with car loans. There are a lot of hangers on and hungry girls looking for their own share of the national cake. At the end of the day, that fat salary is all gone before it hits the account.

Even though she may never smell one penny of the judgement there must be some satisfaction with the verdict. I cant be bothered suing any skank. I will be judge, jury and executioner. Lol.

How did you manage to represent Britain if he was illegal? Did I miss something?

Are you sure you want to go to Naija to face them? Dont forget you'll be on their home turf. Do you know the terrain? You could go missing and I say that without trying to be funny. Besides that thing called justice does not live in Nigeria. I say count your losses, let them squabble for his possessions but sooner or later they'll turn on each other.

Over here there is no such age limits. Almost always anyway. When you make your resume there is no tribe, religion, sex, age, marital status and all the bullcrap you guys in Nigeria put on there. Mainly your name, eductaion, qualifications and career summary.

You invite someone to an interview not knowing if its a man, woman, old, young or married. What you see is what you get. That is what it should be. , . . unbiased. What is the difference between a 26 year old and a 27 year old? Most Nigerian banks peg their employment age requirement at 26. Its ridiculous. Anyway they have been hiring 40 year olds who just lie about their ages.

Missy B:
Rotfl!! Mami-worra!

no be small thing.

pinkielove:
I live in the UK with my husband, we re only one year married and ve a three months old baby, my husbandve changed from who i know him to be.pleas read the following well to understand what i mean,

on the 15th of feb,he rang me from work nd told me bout his work colleaugue in their same institute that told him their was a meeting so he just decided to go since hes never attended anyone before and the venue was not far to see how things go there by 6pm nd that he would only stay for a while and come home.he came home after work,ate ,stayed until 6pm and left and told me the meeting was 6 to 8pm.i was with him when he dressed up.at about half 8,he text me that he ll be home by 9 but never came home until 10pm.i rang him around half 9 but no response.on his way back ,he called me.when he got home ,he was smelling of so much cigarrette and he doesnt smoke and takes only very little alchohol .he told me that a new member was given a higher educational title so he hosted a party for everyone which started after the meeting, 8pm,that people even came wth their wives that we wouldve gone together if not for baby. told me he drank alchohol and was dizzy so decided to stay back to get his head cleared up before driving home.I noticed that :
1. he wasnt wearin his weddingring any longer.i asked him where it was nd he said he doesnt know that it may ve fallen off when he washed his hands after he had a wee in the toilet there that it happen to him sometimes or that it may ve fallen off in the car.he has never for once come back hom without his ring on his finger

2.he wore two t shirts out only for me to discover when he removed his jacket to ve a shower that[b] the one he wore inside was now the one on top with the back instead of the normal way to wear a clothe[/b].he brushd his teeth,washed off babys clothe and rushed into the shower that he didnt like the smell of the cigarrette,i was wondering where he was actually coming from until the next day.the next morning he told me that i should go get the contraceptive from hospital so that we could resume intimacy that day that we ve been thru a lot lately. when he went to work and i saw on his jacket strands of female hair,brown powder on the collar and on the first button of his shirt.i stated to cry.he came back and i saw his ring on his finger,asked him nd he said he found it in the car.he tried to chat with me as usual andnoticed my mood change and asked me why i didnt welcome him welll nd what was wrong with me nd i told him nothing nd the n the next morning he said we had sometin to dicuss.the weekend was our one year anniversary sat me down nd told me that he has notbeen happy in themarriage which i ve never perceived nd he hasnt shown or told me.his points were that i am always negative,and that negative people around him weighs him down,that i dont know my roles as a wife ,that i ve never called him and talked to him as my husband,that i dont carry out my chores happily,that i am behaving like someone whos caged but that am free to do whatever i like and thhat he s telling me these cos he wants a way forward from me on them and would like to hear what i ll say on them.so i told him that he does nt understand me sometimes so that i just keep things to myself nd he got angry,flared up nd asked me whyi would judge him like that nd that as for his ring,he ll never wear it till further notice that its only a piece of metal nd that as for trust that he ll neverr tell me anythin bout it again butbut action, ,that if he had seen those thhhhhings b4 the marriage that he wouldnt ve gone into it,that am not a happy person,he said a couple of things.i cried and told him i was sorry nd didnt know he was nt happy nd then the next morning,he told me that been with hhim nd just smiling is more important to him than those chores nd that i should find a way to communicate with himthat the marriage will be over soon if i dont comm.well.we moved houses nd after somedays he called me nd told me hes noticed good changes nd that hes thankful to od for them

when his phone bill for the moth came in,i discovered that who he was with on the fifteenth was a work colleague not the same branch but same team.and other days that he called nd text her .i was devastated.i als found out that she calls him with private number all the time,my husband sends her message nd deletes it,calls her occassionally nd deletes it.she calls my hus almost everyday.right now am seeing other signs to show hes really cheating on me with her.now we ve a new neigbour that works at the ladys branch and told her my worries andd she said she ll watch out for me nd gave me her number, i ve just confided in her.pls what do i do.i ve not asked him anything since then,hes exhibiting signs of infidelity unconsciously but doesnt know i notice them,please help me restore my marriage.concrete advices needed pls.i ll stop here for now

All these highlighted areas by themselves do not spell infidelity but when put together all in one night or one outing is almost sure fire proof of him straying.
Oh, He tried to turn around and blame you? Cute! Then you apologized? Why?
You also mentioned , in another post that you dont intend leaving him but just confronting him?
Honey why expend so much energy trying to dig stuff up when you'll do nothing or take no decisive action? Like a zillion women before you why not just sit there and do nothing. After all it is the ill luck of womankind. You might as well. (Yeah i'm being sarcastic!) The reason they do what they do is because they know you are not going anywhere and boy are they right!!!! Sit there. Like we say in Nigeria just sit there while goats eat the palm fronds from your chieftaincy cap. Where is your dignity?

A good husband will never make his wife do anything. Whatever happened to compromise?

Uc.Lloyd:
@Poster, i hate when people lie to gain attention, ok now u have the attention, whatz nxt

Lol.

adetoru:
So what about the wives like me who are really working hard to keep their hubby's but he still strays.I have done almost every Kamasutra move on him.My bath time is a ritual so my skin stays soft,my hair is really long cos he likes it that way(even tho i prefer my hair short).I wear cleavage baring tops cos that's what he wants,I massage him every Tuesday and Friday.i give him pedicures.I serve his meals at the right temperature(yeah,I use a kitchen thermometer)I laugh at jokes that are not funny.He even recently asked me to wear really short shorts when am at home with him(I hate them,they only magnify the size of my thighs).
Look I could go on foreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrr

Honey, Its not you. . . .It's him. You can behead yourself and serve him your head on a platter and it still will not be enough.
My advice? Just do you. stop exhausting yourself trying to please him. There's something about a man that tells you what to wear, how to look, what to cook, how to laugh etc. You give, give, give until you have a nervous break down. Stop wasting your time. You cannot make him love or want you.

She is uninhibited jare. using both hands to show the world what she's got . . . . .

Low self esteem brother who can only feel endorsed by white women.
Shame that white skin will always be seen as more beautiful by some. Anyway let him take his tally number and join the queue.

Its hardwork being a wife. The mistress does not know the half of it. She has the easy deal.

Is that a VD discharge?

How did I came about my user name?

Time to put down my crack pipe.

If you were kidnapped?

Siena:
I jumped for joy, and cracked open a bottle of champagne.

You no well.

@ Op,
If you're a guy, confess and ask for forgiveness. Women are almost obliged to forgive. You'll all move on.
If you're a woman. . . . . SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!

So sorry. Time will make it more more bearable.

where are you? I must buy u a drink

@ platinumnk,
the land of the free.  

Many nigerian men like to talk the talk but when it gets time to do the deed they get all churchy on you. They constatantly fantasize about freaky no strings attached wild uninhibited coupling. (ehehehe. Hope they dont change that word to intimacy.   nairaland has made me hate that word intimacy.)

Anyway where was I?
When that willing woman comes along they think its too good to be true and run for the hills. "Dude, come back! Its true! I really want to knack you for free" you yell to his fading form. *Sigh*  These small boys sef.

Women are capable of no strings attached relationships. They however tend to make discretion priority due to cultural reasons. Do you blame them? Who wants to be stoned to death in the middle of the street because they got some?
Marriage is not always on the brain oh. Not that marriage will solve any of a woman's problems.

f****d comes to mind. Sorry.

i'm all for a gun in my house. Locked far away from my little busybody daughter though.