₦airaland Forum

AjanleKoko:
Critical thinking is overrated jare

A pastor somewhere told his congregation to eat grass and they did, and you say critical thinking is overrated?
I'm a Christian, but I'm would be stupid not to know that Christianity has been bastardized.

bellong:
Teach them the art of debate..... occasionally pitch the two against each other to discuss about a simple daily topic. The older may have an advantage but it will help the younger....
Teach them to always give reasons for their conclusion and also to evaluate reasons given by others to issues..
Don't stereotype their lives, let them have the ability to question norms. Explain to them always why things are done in a certain way not just for them to accept whatever they are told as the norm. This will encourage them to question things and subject to logical thinking.
Encourage them to ask questions and you as the mother can ask them questions also to stimulate their thinking. Make sure you answer all their questions in a simple and honest manner. Don't call Pen.is uncle john or vagi.na prismatic hole......
For every answer or solution, ask them to think about an alternative solution not just the conventional solution.
Don't confine critical thinking to purely factual or academic matters, let them reason about ethical, moral and public policy issues. they can analyse a movie, game, event etc....
Encourage them to write.
Give them room to play and explore their environment.........

You've said everything I wanted to say.



Anyway, for academics, avoid cramming. A child making good grades might not necessarily mean she understands the principles behind the subject, she might just be cramming. At that age she would be relying on how good her memory is, but as she grows older memory reduces, so it's best to develop her brain at that age so that she can be able to apply the principles she has learned.

Ewuro4:
Its a counterfeit oh Live from Houston TX.

Abeg I'm not gonna play ostrich on this one.. Igbos just don't dig our owanbes and ashebi aso ebi ceremonies , I get it ,that's what makes us different but trashing us is going too far.
And to think I have Igbo Aunty that knows every nook and crannies of owanbe boggles mind

@tribes
They mostly ask me same q too. I just kuku ma bring out my atlas

Lol, I always say it here I prefer to go to Yoruba parties. I wont be surprised if I'm in one youtube owanbe clip.
As for sewing uniform, my mum would only sew a uniform during Igbo village meetings. For weddings she would wear what she likes. My dad doesn't even have a traditional wear, lol. I think it's recent Igbo people are imbibing some color code into weddings too, only the bride or groom used to coordinate or maybe the maidens following the bride. Igbos are not strict on the asoebi thing.
I've seen Yoruba wear asoebi for a 6 year old doing her birthday, wear a different asoebi for sunday thanksgiving...these are the things we find weird, I wont lie. In my mind I'm like hanhan it's not that serious. lol.

The warrants go on to state that Uwensuyi-Edosomwan "unlawfully and willfully for the purpose of sexual arousal and sexual gratification engage in sexual contact, by pushing his erect joystick onto the [second] victim's hand during a medical examination by force and against the will of the other person."

Nigerian men in the news for the wrong thing... as usual. May God deliver them! Hanhan how do you think you would get away with this in the US? The witches in his village must have been on overtime . If he can do this in America, only God knows what he has done in Nigeria.

SAMBARRY:
Babes what are you saying. A 13 year old some where in Nigeria is managing a home cooking and cleaning as well as taking care of her infants. If you train your children well why can't you leave them at home for months and trust that they will manage the kids. At 10 I was fetching water from the well and carrying it home. Long distances. All these over rotten kids that cannot clean and cook and take care of themselves because their mother is not around is appalling

This is some serious ajepako thing.

babyosisi:
If is not a joke o
One man in this USA told me when he went home to search he had a suitcase filled with toilet soap and lotions
His aunts were organizing the girls for auditions
Anyone that comes,he will interview her,reach into the suitcase and give her one lotion and two tablets of soap and 500 naira for okada or keke
In one day ,he will see about 6 or more
I laff taya
One day sef he saw a girl in the morning and her younger sister came in the afternoon lol
I said nna you must have kept an exercise book for records
In the end he says he asked for three of the girls to come for a final selection and he eventually picked one

So these things in nollywood happen in real life? So people hunt for spouses? I thought it's a natural thing. I mean boy meets girl, they date and then marry?
I've always wondered how these relationships work. After selecting, do they date first or it's marriage straight?

prissyluv:
Herz,nawa oo.have you left the guy already?
Bukatyne,it is just the tribe issue. Dad has even refused to see him.
Stillfire,what sort of independent will I be?

Have you ever disagreed with your dad before and how did you go about it? I suspect you haven't.
By independence I mean, do you have opinions of your own? Have you always been a Yes daddy, yes sir kind of person?
I know with African training, you can't go against your dad's wishes, they will use all the superstitions in this world to argue why you shouldn't counter their argument.
I am not saying you insult them, just be firm, practical and rational.
When dad says bla bla, respond and say Daddy I do not think I agree with you and give your reasons why succintly.
I can assure you they will throw a big tantrum. African parents have the biggest egos on earth, but maintain your stand.
If you have been doing this since you were 20 or so, they would have gotten with the program.

This advise is for adults o, not teenagers. If you're a teen and I catch you disobeying your parents ehn...

Yes the person is evillllllll!
We need to stop treating this issue with kids gloves.

bukatyne:
Extremely true

That is the key...

Train the boys lest they become beasts when they grow up

Some men will still be terrible irrespective of the training given.

True, but the likelihood would decrease.

prissyluv:
I applaud all the capable hands here. You guys are really doing a great job!

My own problem/headache/confusion/depression is tribe and parental consent. I must admit that I got lots of advice from snazzylove thread about intending couples and couples but more is needed esp in regards to my fears below.

On 14th feb,my dad told me that i should forget the idea that he will give his consent to me marrying a benin man. He said it is very very impossible for him to do so,that he wont even give his consent at a gun point but on the other hand if I decide to elope with him that I am clearly on my own.
In my heart,I know this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with but my parents actions are saying otherwise.

Now my fears and confusion:
1)If i leave this good man,how sure I am that another good and better men will come? And one who will treat me right.
2)When will that be?I found it also difficult to love.(my love goes off and on) I am also one who does not like sexual activities that much. Will I find that understanding man?
3)Wont I get to regret my actions of leaving a man I love becos of tribe in my later years? I am very impatience in nature,I am afraid I will pick the wrong guy down the lane.

The problem here is that you've not done anything to make yourself appear independent to your father that is why he is still that brave to feel he can control the direction of your life for a flimsy reason like he's from another tribe. Other people also see other tribes as nuisances as well including yours, so your dad does not have such monopoly of distaste. African parents will baby you till they die, it is left for you to decide whether you want to be babied all your life.

We should endevour to train boys better, I keep on saying it. Virtues like patience, kindness, understanding, humility, tolerance is for everybody, not just women.
In many households a daughter would be struggling with house chores and the son is lying lazily on the sofa, why would he grow up to think he should help around the house too when married? Why wont he grow up to have a chip on his shoulder?
This cycle of violence would continue if we don't train boys better.

It's not even TV any more, but the addiction to the internet and these new age devices. Take away these things from today's kids and you would see how restless they become. It even affects adults.

Yes they should apologize.

okotv:
who gave you the exclusive right to bash the black man who told you that we just sit and discuss women and how they live their lives with all due respect, some black men might be weird but not all. We didn't tackle Ebola discussing women or did we Africa is the continent of hope, no matter what is said about us, we can only get better.


@poster...
If you have serious issues with ladies, control your third leg and urges, stay off relationships and stop degrading the black man.

Sorry, but just help me warn your brothers.

See another 'bodyguard' for women on the loose! Bloody monitoring spirit! See im mouth like 'moral decadence'.

Nigerian men have no damn right to talk about morality.

Joel3:
you should be asking God on curse on africa women rather

Boring! Go and fight the White man. Stop disturbing african women! Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

carefreewannabe:
I wonder.

It's a phenomenon a sociologist could elaborate on.

Absolutely.
Not only sociologist, but a psychologist and neurologist to decode the black African male.
The neurologist would tell us if it is brain cells or cotton wool (or sanitary pad since dem sabi female matters pass dem mama) that is in their heads.

EfemenaXY:
Where is Aisha2 when you need her most?

I think this was the sort of new-breed-bone-idle-generational Nairaland males she was referring to. The ones who spend all their waking hours scouring the net and coming up with silly threads to make them feel important on the www. Small compensation for their inadequacies in real life. She also did mention that they don't bathe either.

Freaking bone idle to the bone marrow!
The type that will be counting the eggs in a woman's ovaries, act as her unpaid time keeper to monitor when she's due to be married.
They have uncountable things to whine about women and nothing to show forth in the 'advancement of science and technology'.
No wonder the White man could take over Africa.
Bunch of whiny, powerless and ineffectual nonentities.
God why? Why did you curse us with this kind of men?

slimyem:
What agony?

How many have complained to you?
...and to reiterate Efe's question..how is this thread supposed to change anything if there's really a problem?

Exactly! How is he changing the so called problem? Is he and his brothers marrying these girls in 'agony'?

Joel3:
continue

This type of girls are highly desperate, most of them hardly have a choice this time around unlike when they were 22.
any man that walk up to them is their lover, they will try to trap him. they will packed and start living in his house even without him proposing to them.

And Some bad once are only looking for transit at the main time. They just want to hang around with any guy first all in the name of moving out from their parents house. From the guys house they will be trying their luck with different guys hoping for a better man. This are the set of girls that will lie that they are living with their brother not knowing its their boyfriend.

the spiritual ones will only take the names of any guy that work up to them to churches and prophet. By fire by force you must to marry this year.

To be continue

See the crap he wrote and he said he's not bashing them intentionally?
Bloody liar!

Joel3:
I also blame the administrators for allowing
EfemenaXY carefreewannabe to post and comment rubbish on sensible topic.

This is NOT a sensible topic.
What is it with black men always always discussing women issues? Bloody hell! What is wrong with you people?
I cannot imagine White men sitting down to discuss the 'agony of women still living in their father's house?'
What the heck is wrong with black men for goodness sake?
What a bitchy set of males unleashed into this generation!

You too see him as a brother.

obowunmi:
He married 2 women within 6 months?

Lol!

@topic
Na man be this? He can't even make up his mind. Woman go come take this one put as head? Rotflmao. No wonder Africa is in such dysfunction when the supposed head can't think straight.

LordReed:
What a stewpid thought! We need more workplace accidents to teach people how to be safe at work? We need more traffic accidents to teach people how to drive well? We need more thefts so people can learn to be more security conscious?

Whatever happened to plain ol' instruction and leadership by example? The call for more failure in other to highlight successful patterns is the most stewpid I have ever heard.

You're right. Punishment in this case divorce aren't always good models for preventing abuse of something.

damiso:
When I was asked what my birth plan was for my second baby I said one word. ..EPIDURAL.

With my first I had read all sorts of 'snazzy' natural birthing methods 'hypnobirthing' ' water birth' 'ante natal yoga' bla bla. I was so hung up on 'letting my body do what it was designed for'.I went for all kain classes and my birth plan was as long as iwe ipejo (court order).I even bought one yeye 'natural noises' cd that I was told 'calms' you down in labour.plus all kain natural oils (they never actually left my bag ) .fa fa foul dat birth plan flew out of the window and after being in labour for 10 hours I was gasping for that epidural I said I would not have Unfortunately I was too far gone to have one.

Unfortunately abi is it fortunately I also did not get one with my second cos of my now impatient son. The boy could not wait to come out.I had him 10 mins after we got to the hospital.

10 hours?

bigdiva:
Hmmm, i feel like ive been in your shoes before, luckily i wasnt married to the guy, but we were crazy in love and dating. I switched off and it took a few weeks but he started begging me. I dont think its a good idea to try in a marriage though...anyway i would bug him to death till he gets fruatrated of my questions....i think.

That won't help either. People like that would go into their shell even more if you disturb them too much.

taryour:
My sister/brother no soul can be as wicked as a woman. No bitterness can be compared to the bitterness of a woman. A woman can keep malice/hatered/secrets/vengeance/ e.t.c till eternity.

Do you know how deep a woman mind can get There is a saying in yoruba that goes as ** a woman mind is deeper than eternity ** sorry can't type in yoruba. But you understand yoruba well,you understand better.

The only difference in women is that some are God fearing and very emotional while some are Devils.

We can't really quantify bitterness or wrath anyway to determine who has more wrath like the other. But after the past week I've come to realize hell hath no fury like a man scorned.

Hotstepper:
Instead of being scared, take a lot of time to pray and tell your God what you want and it shall be given unto you.

My 2 pregnancies were painless nd no contractions. Infact, the doctors are still wondering how that's possible. You can imagine them telling me to imagine pooing so I can push. 2 pushes and babies are out. Mind u, I just had a baby 5 months ago.

I tell God what I want and the funny this is cuz I don't feel pain or contraction, God always lead me to the hospital at the right time nd am always told I would have delivered at home if I wasted like 20 more mins

Lucky you. Some people have it easy, some don't. Same with periods, some don't even feel pain, some feel pain.

Was he like this before?
Not everyone is a talker, but if he is like this to only you, then there's a problem.

MaziOmenuko:
Foolish rodents that called themselves children of the woman:
1. They left the mum to go and leave in another of their late dad's house: why? To fvckk freely without distraction while their mum stays alone in the big house with just the maid and cook. They think those chicks they pick at night clubs don't have brothers to fight them and break their own heads? I'd!ots!
2. They attacked a man in his most vulnerable position. Why didn't they pick on him when he was approaching the house? They had to ambush him at the room equiped with weapons: quite immature!

3. They drag their family name in the mud! They think they disgraced the man? They disgraced their mum and family legacy if they had any! What stopped them from talking to the mum and demand that she stops the relatnship immediately?

4. Prodigal children
5. Prodigal children
6. See #1-5

Lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll !

taryour:
Happy my foot. Na small time e remain before they start hating each other and regretting their actions.

Nothing can be compared to the wrath of a JEALOUS woman.

You think so? What about a man who finds out his woman cheated or she lies her child is his and later finds out the child isn't? I mean for the past few days we've been barraged by NL boys who swear tooth and nail to kill their spouses for 'disrespecting' them. That kain wrath pass a jealous woman wrath o.

God knows I am taking epidural. This isn't up for debate! I'm too fragile for such a traumatic event.