₦airaland Forum

If indeed he's your best friend, you should be looking for a way to set him free and I will tell you how to do so for free.

Get a rugged and trusted guy who never fails to go to church every Sunday, let him announce to your friend how he's "born again" and since your friend has lost his brain — the both of you will find that brain and pump the type of sense you want him to possess.

That rugged guy would start his own preaching while being the devil's advocate (the devil is you, in this case) and preaching against this extremism that has made him a shadow of his old self.

But wait, are you saying, it took just a month for your friend to be stranger?

Are you saying you never noticed any change while you all partied together instead of giving the money to the poor?

Tell your friend you know someone better than that pastor, then introduce him to me.

Sir, if we were having this conversation one-on-one, I would have said 'thank you' ten times in just a minute and 38 seconds. I'm happy a lot of people are beginning to see what I saw years ago even as a teenager — I have always maintained that Nigeria is irredeemable.

I mean, look at everything going on, isn't it clear that these so-called elites know something you don't?

Tell me why someone who believes in his country will keep looting and looting with no remorse even when they know the country is sinking?

Imagine yourself embezzling all the money in your brother's company even when it's obvious your evil activities are slowly running the company down; would anyone think you believe in the future of that company?

Why is it so hard for people to understand?

Almost all of them have dual citizenship, and their kids live in Western countries; how on Earth do you think they actually give a f*ck about this country? Why do they have more investments abroad than in Nigeria? Has anyone invested the money they stole from Nigeria here?

The earlier, this illegal and abominable Union is disintegrated, the better for us — until then, I'm looking forward to making more money so one day, I will be the Moses taking my people to the promised land.

How can a mere soldier of a 3rd world country touch a soldier of Christ and there is no riot or protest?

Why have Christians chosen peace in a world where the violent always takes the Lion share? What happened to the ancient crusaders who reclaimed Jerusalem from our brothers from the other side?

By the way; if he's picking on people to battle his PTSD, does he know how emotionally scarred a soldier of Christ is, due to the constant fighting of demons and stepping on scorpions and snakes?

Isn't it unfortunate our soldiers are yet to channel all of their anger to that Rock in Aso? At least, our soldiers of Christ have been calling down fire on our enemies and although, it is still on the way — there's no doubt it will surely arrive.

Congratulations but my naughty mind keeps tells me it won't be for long before your girlfriend start telling her friends she made you who you are. Before we know what's happening, she'd start telling anyone who cares to listen how you were doomed more than a decade until she used her magical hand to set you free.

I'm sorry but SuperOnyi's mind is like a broken used condom, no man uses it but since I've been diagnosed half insane, my brain washes and stitches this condom until it expands like an overused panties.

This is what you must do to keep her even more loyal, prepare for a romantic date and order enough spicy suya, make sure it is very spicy enough to drive a Yoruba man nuts. Get her hollandia yoghurt and smile as you watch her cough with catarrh running from her nose, make sure you keep enough bottles of water.

While she's already complaining of how spicy it is, tell her how much you've loved her and how you've always wanted to treat her like your ancestors did to their wives.

You can either buy lasticle by our very own ilegendd now or get what we call buratanci in the North, while you're slamming her doors; think of all the pain you've gone through since you were born, think of all the pains your parents went through, think of how messy Nigeria is, and think of the Biafra war...

After this, she will become even more loyal and submissive. You can send a token from your first salary to show appreciation, you're welcome.

Congratulations once again!

This is the type of woman SuperOnyi has pledged to give multiple orgasm just so the high level of frustration in this world would reduce drastically and men wouldn't be converted to simps.

Her ebony skin and pretty eyes were the first features that sent a rare signal to my gbola; I made a vow to hit a brothel, lose my virginity, and help men before they're devoured by these Moanas.

Shawty, call me if you see this.

Good riddance, the devil has done it again! He couldn't use all that muscle to go do some menial jobs but would use it to beat his fellow man up and steal from the community that raised him.

If only he was old enough to understand how much mess his country of origin has become, he'd go down on his knees and thank his parents especially his father for everything they've done for him.

Dear little man, make Canada your new home and pray to God to help your parents because if you know how they hustle in that cold that can't be cured by having sex as fast as a horse galloping, you'd go down on your knees the second time and thank them.

I'm assuming you don't know what sex is, well, it's just what adult and naughty kids do when they try to meditate.

So, forget about Nigeria before I slap sense into you!

They will still lose woefully . Mr. Tinubu must rule this republic of embarrassment for 12 years before handing over to the North.

slaawomirr:
Damnnn niggar
Isoright

The new law broadens the definition to include nonconsensual anal, oral, and vaginal sexual contact

It makes sense
Not just nonconsensual contact
But that of the oral, anal and vaginal

Why will someone rape, touch the vaginal or anal without the person's consent

It baffles me how people rape

If a woman is not emotionally happy with me I can't get an erection not to talk of raping her when she is even in pains and crying

Are you okay? Why are you impersonating another moniker? I've been observing you for so long.

gaby:
No wayyyy

We are stuck on this together.

This marriage must continue by fire by force.

Divorce or separation is a sin.

"One Nigeria is non-negotiable"

This proves that SuperOnyi is not really insane like people would stupidly assume — I have always maintained that every living thing on Earth has life and interacts with each other in ways we cannot understand.

This is why we see how natural plants like Igbó can transport you deep into the realm of a thousand thoughts.

It is also sad that if these scientists were in Nigeria, they would be taken to the SCOAN just like they almost did to me when I ate a food decorated with igbó leaves.

Yes, we do.

Kenn55:
Guy I think you are the simp here. A small girl that doesn't even worth it is trying to set you up with your fellow guy and you are here forming real man.
A real man avoids anything that can lead to potential problems for him especially when it is on behalf of a useless girl that is not even your wife. You shouldn't have allowed her to do that. What if the guy is also useless and came to start fighting over a girl, what will you tell real niggaz? That you are fighting publicly over a useless girl that would jump to the next available guy? Is it worth it? Common, man use your senses.

This was how a guy in my street those days humiliated a guy cos of a woman. The humiliated guy came back with hired thugs to beat up the guy and mistakenly the guy died in the process. The humiliated guy (simp) is in prison as I write, the "real" man is 6ft under now and the useless girl is now married and living her life well. Who lost?

This was so bloody that I had to remind myself that I actually liked the original post and still unlike it just to sure I actually didn't give a like .

You have a point and the OP got a point too.

giftygirl1:
I have changed password once then I use my son's name. Now I can't forget the password even if I turn great grandma

That's an intelligent move.

Let me have that garri because my parents once advised me to cut my coat according to my size. I don't want to start washing dishes for a Madam who bleaches her skin because I couldn't pay for what I ate — if those foods you posted looked anything close to delicious, I would have bet she'd probably be prettier which can make me decide to let her be my sugar mummy but unfortunately they look like worse than gorogoro.

By the way, the moderator that pushed this thread to front-page most likely didn't see the name of the OP.

CandidAdmin:
Okay thanks.

But if you can still help me market am sha.

What exactly are you saying? Market your books? How?

I can bet my balls absolutely no Nigerian gets fazed when we hear any bed news, our immune system has developed a shock absorber which makes it possible for us to moan nawa oh any time we come across any bad news while anticipating another.

When you know there's a very high possibility a lot of Nigerians suffer from a lot of mental issues and Africa has over a billion population and Nigeria alone has over 210 million, you'd understand why Donald Trump wants to make more stricter immigration laws.

A very good development, all these cars, aeroplanes, trucks, and trains were invented by Europeans, hence must be rejected by Nigerians as it is haram to our culture—we can not continue to endorse hedonism like America where half of its population is obese.

Kudos to Mr. Tinubu, the President of Nigeria. Suffer no fit tire us, it is part of our culture.

elverdad:
The way God has punished your family with generational poverty. And these poverty will be in your bloodline for 8000 years

You better wake up because Peter Obi will never win the next election (or should I say selection?) . And he can't even save this country because it's irredeemable...

To save this country, there has to be a blueprint every leader must follow religiously or better still a leader that will selflessly stay in power to put this blueprint at work.

tensazangetsu20:
Lol if Peter obi contests in 2027, God will punish him and his family miserably. Tinubu must rule Nigeria for 8 years.

I 100% agree, only a fool still believes Nigeria is redeemable. Peter Obi will still lose miserably in 2027 and he can't even save this country, his followers better wise up.

Mali 3 : Burkina Faso 0


You can show appreciation later, you're welcome.

Saccharine:
Number one. Watch them crawl out of the woodworks.

If you're busy watching teenage p*rn, please narrow it down to yourself, stop making it a 'we' issue.

You watch finish come de give Green light and red light explanation for a minor who explicitly said her age and the man went out of his way to tell her to keep it a secret.

See how you tried to push blame to the child instead of outrightly condemning this wicked act.

One day will be one day for Una,shebi you de forget your age. Catch them young indeed.. Tuehhh

You better read people's comment properly before you come at them. SuperOnyi will continue to feed the world with the bitter truth even if it chokes them.

Usmanovic95:
If an average Nigerian can be guaranteed of steady supply of electricity, with that you worry less on alternative supply of power like generator and inverter and the cost of fueling and maintenance.

There's been power supply here since in the morning but these guys rather make them cut off the light. At midnight, they put it back on and when everywhere is bright, they bring down the wire. Can you make up any excuses for this?

papyjaypaul:
It's because there are no consequences. This same person will enter London and behave like an angel. Ask why

This is facts!

CandidAdmin:
SuperOnyi, abeg come and help me market my KDP books.

You're really funny, boss.

I remember how you quoted me saying something similar to this when I was deeply angered by the fact that someone stole my laptop but somehow I couldn't even respond in that state of mind .

I'm also a learner too, I have a diary here where I record everything I do on kdp — you should follow people like ilegend.d or pab.on's diary because I'm a learner like you.

giftygirl1:
I de Enugu too o... Independence layout. When you get link, your sister de here o

I'm sorry but I'm amazed.

You registered this account on 7th of February 2007 and have only spent a month and 12 days on the forum. How do you still remember your password or even remember that Nairaland still exists?

I assume you still use the same email you registered it with.

Passionnn:
For even including electricity bill in this matter spoils everything.
Do you know the sharp practices going on in these distribution companies? And fyi, electricity bill is not cheap where I live. We are just 3 tenants residing in my compound. Meanwhile, the estimated bill send us monthly averages around 25k. That would be around 8k per tenant. Meanwhile we still pay rents ranging from 15k - 20k monthly depending on the size of flat.
Meanwhile, the landlord had paid for prepaid meters long ago. Yet no delivery. The few persons who have prepaid meters often tell tales of how they pay less than 2k monthly since the power supply is erratic. So, they expect me to pay 8k for a service that normally 2k or less?
Prepaid meters is the way to go. If they really bother Abt non payment of bills they would have installed prepaid meters. But you see, estimated bills favours them the most and when a cunning man dies, na cunning man dey bury am

I'm talking from experience, there are houses without prepaid meter and each apartment's bill is often less than 2.5k. sometimes, they even find it hard to pay less than 1.5k while the bills keep piling up.

Natbrowny:
Why do Nigerians find it hard to pay the electricity bill even when it is as cheap as bottles of Guinness stout or even drugs like ice (aka npurummiri)?


Its OFFICIAL

OP is on drugs

An average Nigerian can spend thousands of naira on alcohol or these drugs that make their eyes pop out like kulikuli but can never pay the light bill. Na curse?

SuperOnyi doesn't need to get high on loupe or Igbó to point out the decadence in our society.

immortalcrown:
Remove electricity bill from the question. Nothing justifies theft but you are wrong in saying electricity bill is cheqp.
[sub][/sub]

I'm talking about people whose electricity bill is often never more than 2k monthly but would rather not pay so they can illegally connect the disconnected wires! And when a fire outbreak occurs or the transformer blows up, they start blaming the devil.

I'm talking about those Nigerians living in the polluted streets of gwagwalada.

Kidnapping has become such a lucrative business that these cowards now store people like goods like Igbo business men do as they attempt to dribble inflation.

Pathetic!