₦airaland Forum

Those asking you to forgive him have the tendency to steal.
This is not how first time. If he was broke, why did he not request for salary advance?
Don't worry about him being a family ma since even him is not worried about losing his own job.
Report him and let management be the one to give him his last warning. He is just greedy and not appreciative of his humble beginning.

I wish that I saw this thread earlier.
A woman should be financially able to feed herself without a man even if she can not build a house.
I don't know how any adult would be comfortable being dependent on a man for a need as basic as food.
Even old parents that depend on their children should be frowned upon except they are handicapped. People die everyday. If they did not have children, would they not live? Children should take care of their parents out of care but it should not be compulsory.
I work very hard myself as a woman and no brother of mine can even come and say he wants to marry a woman with no job at all and if she is a fresh graduate, let her wait. Otherwise when PHCN come during the day, she would allow them to cut the line because husband is not at home? God forbid !
Money is never too much. Even Politicians wives have functional businesses.
It is even the disobedient and promiscuous ones that expect men to pay for everything including their hair. I would ask how the person has been doing her hair before she met me...

This is how people make avoidable mistakes when the obvious is right in front of them

She has a habit id praying but trust me that she is no saint to be living with you full time. Worldy days would always catch up with her when convenient.

I am surprised that you said she is your fiance when you are this confused. It would have been better to say that she is your girlfriend and you are hesitant to propose because of her lapses.

She is never going to change most likely. The little chores she is doing is because you are not yet married. Feminists would say that you should do the chores yourself since you know how to do then but they would not support her sharing the bills with you. At the end of the day, you would be getting too little for what you give In the relationship.

Conclusion. She may be a good woman in every other aspect of a relationship but be clear on what you can live with and pick your battles. Nobody has it all. You may meet the disrespectful type that is so good with house chores as part of her way to control and boss the living and non living things around her.

You may find another who is poor at generating income and compensates it with doing house chores. The ladies who are all rounders may just not be available for you and that's how life is.

I like your caption so much.

As for the advise, you know that it is the cooking you should go for.

The truth is before you.

Your wife is not faithful to you and you can tolerate it because the foundation must have been this way from the onset.

It is good that your children are important to you but notwithstanding, your marriage is not stable at all. All that you think she is capable of is a reality.

Why is the wife using this opportunity to ask for food and cash?
She was part of his problems

Girlfriend, you say?
Leaving home? Whose home?
Anyway, she needs to get a job.

You would outgrow it.

I am glad that tou acknowledge that it was naiveity and one day, she won't have any effect on you.

Try a new relationship and you would realise that the things you valued about her are not as valuable as you thought they were.

She is selfish but you allow her to be.

I just want to offer some useful advice.

I believe your story but I am not going to give you money.

Every single day, no matter how hard it is, try to add value to other people. I'm the least, be courteous and kind.

Things are hard in the country but still, many are finding help. It should not be so bad that one would have nobody to call upon in times of need. It may be a neighbour, church member, relative or friend. There must be someone who knows you personally that would be moved to help because they know that you deserve it.

Don't take my advice the wrong way, please. In final year, strangers should not be your last resort to seek help. Try also to encourage your siblings to learn a trade or get holiday jobs. The mentality that they depend on you to fend for them in the future is already problematic.

All the best.

Your father loves you and has been quite responsible keeping you safe.

At 19, you may feel like an adult but in Nigeria, the reality is that you are a child. Are there any plans for you to attend higher education or learn a different trade from your father's?

At 19, most people are still dependent on their parents and since you did not complain of deprivation of basic needs, you are not doing badly.

Let your focus be on improving yourself as a person. Your dad does not want you to go astray and at 19, you might easily do so.

R I.P. to your mom and know that one day, you would have so much freedom that you won't know what to do with it.

Below is the message that I found in Wikipedia this morning. For those who can afford to and value knowledge, you may Visit any Wikipedia page to find the message and make your donation.

To all our readers,
Please don't scroll past this. This is the 1st time we've interupted your reading recently, so we'll get straight to the point. This Thursday, we ask you to protect wikipedia"s independence. 98% of our readers don't give; they simply look the other way. If you are one of our rare givers, we warmly thank you.

If everyone reading this donated $2.75, we could keep Wikipedia thriving for years. The price of a cup of coffee is all we need. We're sure that you're busy and we don't mean to interrupt you but we must remind everyone.
We don't charge a subscription fee and Wikipedia is sustained by only 2% of our readers. Without reader contributions, big or small, we couldn't run Wikipedia the way we do.

We know most people would ignore this message, but we hope you would consider supporting Wikipedia today.

We want to make sure everyone on the planet has equal access to knowledge, and we need your help.

If Wikipedia has provided you with $2.75 worth of knowledge this year, please take a minute to secure its future by making a donation. Thank you.

Give him whatever you can dash him and that is all.

A man must learn to cut his cloth according to his size.

Do not be too trusting. You have good I tensions to help but you would be shocked at how this man may pay you back. Let him sort out his needs and debts by himself. I must have friends and family and a good partner. If he does not have, then his character is questionable.

All the best.

If I was the owner of the uncompleted building, I would make the man sign an undertaking to never sleep with his wife again....just kidding.

Life was not unfair to them but they brought it upon themselves. As hungry as they are, having no shelter but having sex enough to yield six children is irresponsibility and wickedness to the society. The man and woman should be separated and rehabilitated while the children should be confiscated by the government.

If we help them get a better source of living, I think they would relax and have more children. Those children are already a nuisance and problem to society. What is the location? Let me see if I can get social workers to evaluate them...

Which school do you attend?

Stay focused. Every one has a story to tell.

Why don't i see anyone mentioning gossiping?

Back in the day, the gossip that we can't share with others, we share with each other. We play games, gist and go out a lot. We cooked and cleaned together as well and studied and travelled.

That was all back in the day though...

I read this in Twitter earlier today.

It is not wrong at all. They both had it coming to them.

The same way a married man invited his younger brother to his house to help his pregnant wife with domestic duties. As gate would have it, she did not include the brothers good in her cooking because she k we she would get away with it.

The man was not realistic enough.

Do both at the same time

You may say Davido is rich and famous but we have heard of many times that he has been generous.

If the rich like giving to each other, I don't think it is bad. Some so called poor people are very wicked and selfish at heart and add no value to those around them while some so called rich people have a lot to offer morally and intellectually if not even financially.

Shameful man!! But people sef give too much honour to so called pastors. Which deliverance now?

Pastors are just like everyone of us and nothing extraordinary but it takes the highly intelligent ones to decipher this.

No need to beg anyone.

There does not need to be I clarion ur recession before an intelligent man decided to marry a productive wife in the first place.

The one who willingly married the o e with no income can continue to live with the aftermath and the one who believes that she must be kept by a man, should continue to lack independence.

You must end the relationship.

More red flags are about to be unveiled.

It can never end well. Why should ha have the guys to even ask?

You may end up doing it because you are desperate to be married but the signs are already there for you.

Everyone should learn to respect boundaries and not feel entitled.

If your brother was sharing a flat with a friend or co-worker where they share things, it would be right for you to consider the other person's feelings in your actions.

We all have different ideologies. Some kind some things while others don't mind them but in all my dealings I try not to be too assumptions or entitled.

When I was newly married, his siblings would use his towel and I did not like it because I also use his towel when I like but then, I did not show my disapproval for fear of being misjudged.

She is overfed and comfortable.

She can not change except the circumstances surrounding her comfort change drastically.

Don't let people guilt trip you into believing that cooking and being pregnant is a chore. She would cook for herself if she was single.

The Nigerian economy is not favourable for only one partner to earn income. Her attitude is not sustainable.

I have a solution that is 90% guaranteed but probably send me a DM. She would begin to enjoy paying bills and being productive to the extent that you would want her to relax.

If the nanny is polite and hard-working then you might let them be...
How did you not suspect that this would happen when you invited the nanny?
Your father -in- law might have considered the rental awkwardness of the situation before delving into it but he didn't. I am sure that there are other inappropriate things that he does.
All the same, cause she is a nanny does not mean that she can not be a good wife to him. Who has been paying her salary?
The nanny is also vulnerable swing a home owner versus her small income and hence took baba on his word and got pregnant...

Sense would not kill you

Society and double standards.

Why did she living with him. Have they not been having sex before now? Maybe even rough sex. They are both at fault. If she visited him one afternoon and he did this to her, it would be very different. She mid have known this guy had the tendency to be forceful. Where does her family think she is living?

Hur1:
Only girls are replying and bashing the dude

It seems the dude is paying a lot of bills and want return on investment ! That’s where most girls commenting here got it wrong. No man will waste money on a girl in this century without wanting something in return . They might pretend at first but will ask later! She has been fucvvking him for a reason so why stopping which means dude must have stopped doing somethings for her! For the girl You should pick your poison. Struggle on your own and make a man respect you with dignity !


The girl shouldn’t be living with him in the first place until they are married . She can be visiting even if it’s once in a week or 2!

for the girl, if the dude is the one paying your bills or paying over 80percent of your bills and you don’t want sex then stay away from any relationship if you don’t want sex until you are ready to marry in a month then start dating! Move out of his house !

After what happened between you two, the last is supposed to move out or live with it.

Don't mind the people calling you bad names. You are bad but the lady had it coming. Why is she living with you when you are not married? If she had her own place, you would be arguing over her not visiting.

She may be physically tired and she may also be cheating. She may also no longer be attracted to you now that she has her own money.

If you have been having sex regularly before, she must have known that one day, you would force her. I am not justifying your sins but I am addressing your matter from the sinful point of view.

You are no longer important to her and she must find her independence and accept reality.

If two armed robbers are fighting over their loot, we would know if one is trying to cheat the other even though they are both thieves and deserve what unfairness they deal Each other.

You have made the first mistake and it is leading to other mistakes.

When chiding a life partner, the upbringing of the person is very important. This woman would not change and I tell you boldly as a woman myself. If she assumed that you were doing all these out of care, she would be sober when you complain of her neglect and embaraased that if things escalate, her friends and family would be ashamed of the reasons casuing disagreements...

Don't be fooled into getting her a maid that you would pay for. I don't really believe much in gender roles but I believe in partnership. The one who pays most bills, should not be doing most of the housework inclusive.

The lady has some power over you that you must balance to live conveniently with her, otherwise let her go away. If she is so beautiful then let her go and find the one that needs beauty alone and decide if she would be happy with him.

Don't be deceived by her online business claims. How much is she actually making?
When she gets pregnant or has children, you would see the worst of an unreasonable woman.

Each partner should be ready to compromise in a relationship. Some men are overly neat and some women are overly neat as well but they must find ways to accommodate each other. It is too early for a decent and respectable woman to be threatening divorce. E don reach like that? Don't mind those telling you for better for worse. It is her they should tell that.

Don't do it please.

I'm too sleepy to give you all the reasons now.

Well, you may have a baby first and leave as fast as you can. Don't give him your money.

How old are you? You need to have cameras in that house you are moving to. All the best but experience is the best teacher.

In all this, please correct the notion that pretty women have split personalities or what you call it.
Your wife is not mentally stable. You need to get help for her.
You can not walk on egg shells all your life to prevent her from being exposed. What you have to do is seek professional help.