₦airaland Forum

It's complicated.

You should not be cohabiting full-time

He is behaving like my estranged husband. I know for a fact that his behaviour would become worse after marriage. He is too petty for comfort

Call of the wedding please. Many things are wrong. Do your parents know that you live with him and they still claim that they want to pray about it?

No guarantee that you would end up with someone better but be sure that a union with this side would be problematic and filled with regret.

This is such a simple matter to tackle but the fact that you are asking as a husband would warrant that I withold my suggestion.

You've married someone who has more power in the relationship and hence, you won't be able to take my suggestion appropriately

In his calling as a father, i would rate him 89%
He is too damn responsible and a man of integrity

My children's father on the other hand , I rate him 15% as far as fatherhood is concerned.

He could have married any good lady but he chose to settle for the bad one. What for? Beauty?

From the get go I believe that she had no good quality

That's what happens when a man can not use his brain.

What quality did he admire in her from the onset?

What value did she add to his life?

Guys prefer to pick beauty over character and this is the result.

I don't pity him because I could pick from several ladies but chose to do this to himself.

Entitlement mentality of lazy people

It is a mystery how a man took two children from you.

It is not impressive that you can not single handedly raise your own kids. What if he died?

Ladies, let us learn to do better. Having children after marriage is not beans talk less of having it outside wedlock and again talk less of having children without a tangible source of income.

Do not bother trying to get him to pay child support. Focus on getting a steady and profitable job and then file for custody.

Begging is begging and no matter how it is garnished, only unfiltered girls do this.

Don't let any broke babe guilt trip you into making you feel stingy. Even if you are stingy, it's your right.

How does one live life with no close friends? When one is down, family or close friends should be sought first and not strangers.It is a bad habit and such people should be avoided. You might also have the look of a gullible guy and not know it but don't worry, do well to not give out your hard earned resources to beggars.

Even the genuine beggars in the street just and up procreating and reproducing more and more beggars.

When a person is genuinely in need and embarassed to ask, you would know.

Ladies, please let us not remain in abusive relationships.

A foolish woman went ahead to marry this wicked husband. She would be suffering by now also
Let us also be our sisters' keeper. The neighbour that left when the heat was in could have called for help instead of just leaving the two.

The signs are always there. For our own safety and sanity, ladies must continue to reject abuse of any form. The men should also avoid dangerous and selfish women.

Marriage is not a scam but you looked in the wrong place for the wrong qualities.

If I advised you not to marry her then, would you have listened?

Many men are still falling for this.

There are too many hard working and cultures women out there and so it is not a pity when an eligible bachelor fall for the free loader.

Have you done DNA test for your children?

Awaldfirst:
Fear women!!! my on wife told me how ever since she married me, all i do is borrow money. The same person i have gone out of my way to give money on 4 different occasion to start a business. The last money i coughed out plus shop rent, furniture's was about 1.5 million and less than 3 years, she could not account for 50k plus goods . NOTE, I am responsible for the upkeep of her and the children. i still took a car loan to get her a car for easy movement which am still coughing out from my salary till date. i always try my best to make my family comfortable, most times i go out of way if ground no level. Marriage is a scam!!

If she is try your fiance, you should know how to find her and punish her but she might be one random gi that you met but you don't want to sound stupid.

That girl must be punished. But is there no needy person in your family? Or any close friend that needs money ? Why do you think that it is a good thing to take a loan for someone else's daughter?

Why are people talking as if celibacy is so difficult ?

It is what one feeds their mind with that the mind would act on.

I trust that the man has been sending money home and in that case, he has not abandoned his wife.

What the woman is doing is wrong and it is only such people that would say this OP needs more proof.

Many have lost their partners to death and many other reasons and they are not formulating 2yes later.

It is also possible that the husband knew that he married an insincere person and decided it is ok by him.

Body is not wood but discipline is key. Not every woman rushes to sleep with a man other than her husband because of small distance. She could even kill him with this behaviour so the gigolo can take over.

It is a myth that you have to give more to the church than you give to individuals.

What matters most is that you are non and generous. I pray that you would also find help when you need it.

You can also improve on the use of the word "larger"

Continue to give when you can, but please don't let people take advantage of your kindness.

Your heart is in the right place.

Two months of dating is quite little.

Love can not be forced. Make sure that you do not have another baby.

Try to continue your education which ever way that you can.

You have made this big mistake but you must correct it. Do not clamour for love that you may never receive. Focus on getting your own money.

Do not spend too much time going to church or praying away the problem. Be focused on improving yourself.

Make sure that the house is tidy and you cook delicious meals and keep yourself near. Watch educative programs on television and don't get carried away watching soap operas or Nigerian films.

The only way out of this news is to empower yourself. Be courteous to your neighbours and be a hands on mom to your daughter. Do not feel entitled to your husband's money. Manage whatever he gives you and do not complain.

You must get a degree and learn a skillful trade at the same time. Do not think having another child would alleviate your problems.

The law of Karma is not real

I do not believe in giving money to people who are not productive.

I do not believe that everyone in need deserves to be helped.

I beleive in giving and not expecting anything in return.

I veleive that generally, the one who gives is likely to receive more.

There has to be a catch.

Why would you allow a man to tell you not to work and you accepted the offer.

Go and find a job.

I've have once thought about this as well.
There are many widows who have more than even men.

I personally don't like the notion of associating widows to being in need of charity.

I also don't believe that a woman should have more children than she can cater for alone because a partner can drop dead at any time or can even become out of reach or incapacitated.


I would not hesitate to offer money to a struggling widower who puts his children first.

You can marry both if your fiance would really not mind.

If you are a Moslem, some women are used to the idea.

Hope you are not trying to inherit her wealth for your children. Make sure of this. Let her wealth be enjoyed by her own nuclear family.

How can you be giving a girl money and expect her to share toothpaste with you ?

The two don't go hand in hand.

You either date a responsible, cultured and productive woman or you date the ones that have nothing to offer except sex.

You can not be paying for sex and expect toothpaste for free.

I don't but this.
Government doesn't care about brain drain because at the end of the day, these doctors and nurses send a lot of money back home and more doctors and nurses are raised via such funds.
Economically, the government does not lose because the money comes back here with less people to cater for.

You would get over her with time. Now, it may seem inconceivable but trust me that you would soon wonder what you ever saw in her.

Focus on other things that make you happy.

The mistress should not even be here in the first place.

Even if the man says that the house belongs to him alone, the mistress has no business facing the wife.

I did not hear what they were talking about clearly but if this mistress has friends or family, it is a big shame to them. It is also shameful that a man would claim to love a woman who does not mind putting up a fight and receiving humiliation with a legally married woman. Even if a man caught his wife with another man, it is not the business of a mistress to interfere.

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh.

She was childish to say it but if she loves you just enough, she won't even fun herself saying it.

Women at many out there. Don't short change yourself for life.

He had a bright future. God rest his soul. May God grant everyone the ability to live themselves enough.

It is very wrong but I can not elaborate on why.

Ask even the pastors that collect tithes and they would tell you it is wrong.

Why is he still a boyfriend after ten years ?

Is your sister so desperate to please this gigolo ?

It is wrong and do not let young nairalnaders tell you that it is not a big deal.

Are you make or female ?

If you are female, it is so wrong of you to serve a make friend without permission and if you are a male, it is still wrong but not as wrong as the previous.

A cultured woman who respects her husband would not react the way she did packing your belongings and locking the door. She has no regard for her husband even if she is paying the rent, she does not need to act that way.

For you as a person, learn to respect boundaries. Even if your brother owes all his wealth to you, you must not be flaunting that to third parties.

Let's hear how your brother reacted when he found out about this.

Don't be naive.

What has she been doing with 50k monthly for all these years if she has a job?

If she knows that you are more educated, what stops her from pursuing her own education further even if it is a distance learning programme?

You should have realised this lkng before now that she is easily comfortable staying in her comfort zone.

If you leave her now, it is the right thing to do but no guarantee that you have the maturity to seek someone who is all round better.

Many men think they are doing the right thing by giving a girlfriend a regular allowance. How is it right? I do not think Obama was giving Michelle an allowance while they were dating. Your local government chairman with two shallow wives might have been dojng that though.

I think I see where the problem originated.

Did you say that you borrowed money to pay your baby mama's school fees?

Why do you have a baby in this condition?

Why did you impregnate a woman in your condition?

Why are you dating a woman who has bad judgement and no tangible source of income?

Why is it you that borrowed for her school fees and not herself?

There are fundamental problems that keep one in problems on a long term basis. We have all made stupid decisions in life but we must identify them and be conscious to do better.

The woman's words were harsh but only God can punish her. You did well to find work instead of begging but your mindset must also change. Sorry about your experience yesterday.

Being open to marrying a single mother is so much different from seeking a single mother outrightly. Perhaps you do not want to have more children but none the less, I'm suspicious of your intentions and my guts tell me that I am right.