₦airaland Forum

They frowned at their son's way of life and he tried to punish them for it

Or, they were bad parents from the onset and raised a son who constantly makes bad decisions.

Abuse is not only physical as many people are mentioning.
Why should a child grow up knowing that their parents don't crack jokes with one another?
Why should a child grow up knowing his father has other love interests and his mother isn't allowed to complain?
Why should a child grow up thinking it is normal for his maternal grandparents to talk down on their father whenever they feel like?
Why should a child grow up knowing that their father can not express displeasure on anything going on in the home without being attacked verbally or physically?
Why should children grow up knowing that their mother submits all her salary to their father as the only condition whereby she is allowed to work?
E.t.c

Kids are not the reason for staying in an abusive marriage.
This has been a common excuse for people who are too weak to move on financially or socially.
Kids should grow up in a loving environment that would boost their confidence and inspire great standards.

Your heart is in the right place ma.
Only God can reward you.
Kindly be very wise with your choices though
Not all poor people deserve to be helped. Some poor people are more wicked than the rich.
I like how you insist that the person must be an old member. Read through their posts and create your impression of them before you give your hard earned money to the self centered.

From a woman's point of view, I can be 80% sure that she has cheated on you and it is not because she refused to swear with the Bible. There is a point I have seen but I won't share that with you.
But don't worry, she would convince you in the near future that she has always been faithful.

Your father brought all this upon himself and his first fruit.
Since you did not tackle the matter of the bad woman when he was alive, it is better to let go right now.
She is already pregnant despite your dad was buried in July?
Children can do better for themselves but they allow their father's to intimidate them.
You should have known how it would end when you watched patiently how your father made bad choices.

The truth of the matter is that the guy has probably not even proposed.
It is likely that they are not even dating yet but the last has marriage on her mind and the only prospect for now is this Uber guy

Your focus should be on his personality and the family background.

This question would not be raised if there were investment bankers and civil engineers seeking her.

The last must be able to convince herself why she deserves better, otherwise there is nothing wrong with an uber driver of today.

This is really good but it would work best with two separate covers

In the Nigerian website for driver's license application, there is a place where they said you should "safe a number" instead of "SAVE a number"

Your boss might be one who has OCD to poor grammar or spelling mistakes. It is his company and can do as he pleases.

I might not disqualify a person for this mistake but I would surely address it and make sure it does not repeat itself.

This is not to say there are not numerous areas that I also need to improve but it is to say that we all see things differently.

No matter how much the patents struggled to raise this man, they are not justified to move ibto the apartment without mentioning it earlier.
It is even more wrong because he is already married.
If they are genuinely this close to their son, mentioning it should not be a problem. He may have a sibling or other relatives who would move in and never plan to leave. His wife may have more of the income that built this house and it does not appear beat that her in-laws just moved in.
Never the less, it is hopeful that we all out-live out parents and in that case, even if it were their own house, it would be inherited by the children afterall.

The imported premium always with purple wrapping is what I'm used to but recently tried Kotex and it is so comfortable.

In Yoruba culture, the father of the child gives the first name . Where there is love, any name can be adopted.
I know someone who wanted to give her child an English name and because she has so much hold on her husband, she imposed it but this was very weird to the husband's family and they kept calling the child their own traditional name and put it to their son that they knew the name was not ok by him either.
A family where everyone has strong Yoruba names and the mother chose to name her son Clinton is amusing but not illegal.

Do not fall for it
You ought to have thought about this long ago and not 8yrs later.
Does she live you for who you are or for the meal ticket?
Do not let anyone man you feel bad. From my experience in life, poor people can be very wicked and bad natured. I would not do it I I were you but I fortunately, you have paid her bride price. May you not for young after being milked thoroughly.

Your friend made up this story as an excuse not to leave his abusive wife or he is indeed gullible and unintelligent.

This story is so funny.
The man married an entitled wife from an entitled family. Let him deal with the consequences of allowing a woman who does not even have financial stability to continue to bully him into submission.

They would learn better academically because it would be like a private lesson but their exposure and network might be low.

If you put your wars in such a school though, the population is likely going to increase gradually.

I pray that you would never experience untimely death ever again. The kids of a sibling can never be bearable. May life be kind to you so you can carry on. Be strong for your mother.

I've wondered about this also. Even in adults, when the person is about to be discharged, they depart suddenly.

Poor man. He has been so abused, damaged and manipulated.

I found this interesting topic on twitter a while ago. Everyone one of us would be very knowledgeable on a few topics and can speak confidently on them even if we were half awake. What is yours?

When you said there is no financial request of hers that you did not grant...
The relationship was doomed from the onset...
You may not understand it but that's the basic truth.

It Is not easy to run a school. There are several overhead costs. The one who owns the school may not have a net income of N100k monthly.

If you are in a position to reject this job, you may not even be asking. It is better than doing nothing. While at it, you may be exposed to other opportunities. If you spend 6k on transportation, you would be left with about 20k. If you feed only yourself, you may be able to manage it. If you still live with family, you would be able to save 10k monthly and still be able to make your hair, buy data and buy one new blouse every 2 months. It would enable you to include some work experience on your CV .
It is such a small salary but depending on where you are coming from, it is not the worst starting point.

I took the vaccine only when I realized that majority of the elite have taken it. I don't want to be left here alone with the middle class...
Just kidding obviously.

Interesting interview. Entertaining indeed. But in all this income and investment talk, no mention of the wife adding to it?
I'm curious about this

What value has she added to you and your life that made you rush to propose to her.
Does her father who is a pastor know that she lives with you?
Pele

He has chosen his path and so he should endure it. The Bible supports abstinence before marriage and even celibacy of you so desire. The narrow road is not easy to tread.
Many people have given up more difficult things to serve God. He can live with it. It is by the grave of God only that one can be granted one's heart desires. He must not question God. God knows best. God makes everything beautiful in His time...
He must serve God or serve the devil. His flash must not be weak in the face of this adversity. It I might be God testing him. He must be an obedient servant. Abstinence is not as hard as sacrificing a son born in old age like Abraham.
I can go on and on...

The best approach in order not to hurt the other person is to make yourself less lovable to the person in a way that it is the person who would want out. Not in an obnoxious manner at all...
I wrote a novel 20yrs ago and in it was a lady who wanted to end things without hurting her partner. First, she pretended to be interested in joining an imaginary religious denomination that entailed removing the chalaza of raw eggs before frying.
Later on, she brought up the topic of an internet chat room where she could chat with her friends who had passed away... to mention a few...
Anyway, there are several ideologies that one could make up and the partner would have no choice but to flee, of his own accord.

Ogun idile is real but I regard it more as a sociological problem more than a spiritual one.

Some family habits and cultures are hard to discard and affect the next generation over and over as habits and dysfunction I passed down.

For instance, a family where the father is a drink might end up raising irresponsible children In the sense that a woman that if the mother stays with such a man, the children are thereby being abused psychological and probably financially.

A promiscuous single mother is also likely to raise a daughter who sees life in the same way and it ends up appearing like it is a generational curse if the daughter is unable to keep a home

At 22, you can not really ascertain your woman's true character. She might be acting nice because you are her provider. She does not have to bring suicide into the matter.
I would not also trust the parents who are alive and comfortable with the fact that you are paying the daughter's school fees as a boyfriend.
Those brothers would not go away even if you ignore them. Their behaviour is as a result of bad upbringing. If it was just one I the brothers acting like a beggar, I would not judge them but for all four to be like this is not the kind of family that a young successful man should get entangled with...
You must find a way to test your woman for true love before going ahead to marry her.
At 24, you might be financially stable but for the Nigerian society, you might need to be a little older to be able to face the challenges of being a married man to an awkward family, at that.

There is a scientific explanation for this but I've forgotten how to explain it. I'm the mean time, let's blame Desmond Elliot.

My father is a rare gem. I can't begin to mention all that he did and still does.

My dad was a hands-on dad who did our homework with us and read through our essays as adults.

He took us to doctors appointments and always showed up on PTA days.

He supports all our endeavours morally and financially. He treats out mother right as well.

He deprives himself of many things to give us all we needed. Thank God he is comfortable now and doesn't need any child to give him money.

He watched movies with us as kids and played pranks on us as well. He was such a cool dad with great sense of humour. Sometimes, I worry that he is too nice...

I pray for long life and sign health for him and for God to preserve the life of my mother also, who is his soulmate.