You seem to enjoy the interaction you are having with your Ex ; hence, the reason why you don’t want to let go. Otherwise, why will you be having such conversations with him on your uploaded pictures when you are no longer an item? As Mindlog has said, when you are ready to severe all forms of communication with your Ex, you will do it. Bear in mind, he is married with a child so don’t go and scatter that home. ENOUGH SAID

Ficklemind:
Good evening, please how do I politely tell my married ex to stop bringing back our past memories?

My ex and I separated on good terms, he is AS likewise myself so we had to go on our separate ways. It over 6 years that we separated but we still talk once in a while. I don’t have any feelings for him anymore but I don’t know about him and I don’t have any intention of seeing him either though we are far away from each other.

I don’t want to block him and I don’t want to offend him ,but when I take a picture with a random male friend and I upload it on my status ,he tells me he is jealous that the guy is an idiot for holding me or touching me. Asking for my recent pictures and sending me my old pictures that I don’t even remember existed.

This guy is married with a child. How to I politely tell him to stop all this because I don’t feel comfortable with them.

Hmmm; I Just dey laugh when I dey see how you dey reposnd to everyone. The ones wey agree with you, you go say NICE ONE. The ones wey no agree, you go GIVE EXPLANATION like say them no sabi.

Let me use your quote “I got a huge contract through my brother's company”.

It is the influence of your brother that made you get the contract in the first place. This tells me that your brother played his part well in getting you this contract. He could have supported someone else as well to secure the contract; but instead, your brother decided to support you and it worked out well in the end because you were able to secure the contract.

Agreed (try and negotiate); his prices are higher than other suppliers you have approached. Of course; going to the cheaper supplier is better as you said. But have you considered the quality of the materials? They might be cheaper with another supplier; but what about the quality? Can you compare the quality of the materials of those suppliers with that of your brother’s?

As a few have encouraged you; if after the amount you will use to buy the materials from your brother, you can still make a profit; then go and buy from your brother. If there is no profit; I will still say buy from your brother as this is your first dealing with your brother on securing contracts. If your brother sees that you still patronised him despite his higher prices, you don’t know what next he has in store for you.
Another contract coming your way might even be bigger than this one. Your brother knowing that you patronised him when you secured the first one, will not hesitate to help out again and use his influence again for you to secure the contract.

Don’t fail the test at your first hurdle in your business dealing with your brother. Don’t create a rift between you and your brother. In some instances in business dealings, you win some and you lose some as Ishilove has said . ENOUGH SAID.

kenedyx:
I got a huge contract through my brother's company.

The contract is securely in my possession now and I've been fully paid. Initially, the plan was for my bro to supply me the materials

But the issue now is the quotation he's giving me is way higher than what I'm getting elsewhere.

I've asked him to beat down his price but he's adamant. I plan on sidelining him if he doesn't do the needful.

Guys any thoughts on this?

You have seen all these traits that you are not comfortable with and yet you are here asking us if you should go ahead and marry him? You can clearly see that both of you are not compatible and are "WORLDS APART". You are more ambitious and he does not seem to be ambitious according to how you have described him. Just bear this in mind; things you can’t tolerate when dating will most likely get worse when married. If you know you can’t accept his laid back attitude then don’t waste his or your time any longer. Let him go and find someone who will be okay with his way of life; and you, go and find someone else who is ambitious like yourself. No come say dem no warn you o; ENOUGH SAID.

You better ask her first if she has an interest in running a business and what type of business she would like. If you open a business and just give it to her to run, if she doesn’t like the business, it’s just going to end up being a waste of money. Rule 1; ASK her what business she likes and would be interested in running. This is because it's more likely she will put all her efforts in the business since the idea came from her directly; but if you impose the business on her as it’s your business idea, then don’t blame her if it doesn’t work out well as she will tell you that the business was your idea and not one that she liked from the start. Save your money from going to waste and ask her directly what line of business she will like to run at least then you know the business was her idea and you will be able to encourage her to make it work.

Una don start again with una fake story.

It's not rocket science to know that what you have just narrated is nothing but a FICTITIOUS AND FAKE STORY.

Spend your time in doing better things than coming up with this ridiculous and make-believe story.

Anyway this family section don dry small so pushing out these fake and fictitious stories will bring back traffic .

@Op; go and find something better to do with you time and stop all this ridiculous, fictitious, nansensical and silly false stories. You only created this fictitious story to maligned women and it's good others have called you out with this fake story.

@Op; Does it mean both of you never asked about your genotype at the beginning of your relationship/your getting to know each other? Common mate; who does that in this 21st century? That said, are you waiting to hear from us that its ok for both of you to carry on? The genotype issue should have been the first question you should have asked before venturing into the relationship. If you would not have kids then you can go ahead; but if you would be thinking of having kids then it’s not advisable as there is no guarantee that you might not have SS children. From what you have written here, you seem to be so sure of yourself not having SS kids base on your statement; right? Maybe you need to go to the hospital to see for yourself the crisis that an SS child goes through then may be your eyes will clear because the love you think you have for each other, if at all you have an SS child going through crisis, will disappear. I've not even mentioned the financial aspect of taking care of an SS child. One can excuse the not knowing of the older generation having SS children. But in this generation, IT WILL BE CALLED A WICKED ACT as the situation could have been avoided by knowing your genotype at the meeting stage of your relationship. Don't say you weren't warned. ENOUGH SAID.

@Op; una don start again o. Why are you recycling an old story by turning it into yours? Go and find something better to do with your time instead of typing out NANSENSICAL FAKE STORIES.

Why is she that desperate for both of you to wear the same cloth for the ceremony ? Mate; if both of you wear the same cloth, be prepared to pay her bride price o especially since it's a family occasion. You go hear am if you try am. No say we know warn you o .

If you know what is good for you, you’ll take her back to her sister. The minute she told you that a stranger offered her a job was the day you should have made arrangements to TAKE HER BACK TO HER SISTER. If you allow her to go and take that job from that stranger; anything that happens to her during that period you’ll be held liable and responsible. Don't take chances with your family's well-being and hope you have alerted your husband to this current development. DON’T SAY YOU WEREN’T WARNED. A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE. Enough said.

Very Scary

My advice to you will be for you to do neither. That spare cash you have, you can put it into an investment. The profit you make from the investment, can then be saved towards either getting a new apartment or a car. You have already mentioned that you had some investment advice from your friend that worked out well in the past. That investment, go and add the spare cash you have to it and as I've said before, any profit that comes out of it, save it towards your new apartment or car.

@Op you well so? You dated this woman for almost 3 solid years and you didn’t know that she is not your spec asin not as beautiful as you want her to be. The 1st year you didn’t realise this abi. Ok; the 2nd year you still did not realise it right ; but you waited for the 3rd year before it now comes to your mind that she is not as beautiful as you want her to be. Really; you got to be kidding me; come on get real mate. If you know that her beauty will create a problem then why did you waste her time for almost 3 solid years WHY? IN THIS INSTANCE, YOU NEED TO LET HER KNOW AND FREE HER. IT WILL BE A WICKED THING ON YOUR PART FOR YOU TO KEEP WASTING THIS WOMAN’S TIME KNOWING FULLY WELL IN YOUR MIND THAT SHE’S NOT BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH FOR YOU. As the saying goes; one man’s meat is another man’s poison. Bear this in mind; external beauty fades but internal beauty remains. ENOUGH SAID.

Dowenship:
For matured minds only!
av been in this relationship for almost 3 years now! Just finished my service last month. However i believe things are working out for good for both of us, I came to her place because it's been long we'v seen each other and i need to know what she has become. We communicate online throughout my service year. But meeting her again was almost like meeting a new person when it come to facial appearance. Throughout my stay with her, she has been the woman any reasonable man wished for, she has her own business, she's a great cook, i mean one of the best cook i'v ever met. She doesn't have entitled mentality either and very hard working. My little concern is that, have grown to become an handsome man and my stature is everything any woman wished for! But when it comes to beauty i do feel she has to be extremely beautiful to match my handsomeness. I just want to hear from the married ones in the house! If my little concern really matters in marriage.
P.s: my elder brothers' got married to wife more beautiful than they are.

Abi o; some of his comments in the threads I posted shows the confirmation on what people have said about him and yet he says people are making up stories on him. His inconsistencies are so glaring for all to see.

baby124:

LMAO. Thank you Theedetective. He thinks people do not read his posts. He should be ashamed of himself. Considering many of his toxic posts go to front page, he should know that we know his story. Except he’s just a pathological liar, who lies without cause or reason and denies at will. He should keep his mouth shut. Reasons why on NL you take advice with a pinch of salt because, many giving it are not okay at all.

I pity the men on this site because, most men here giving advice have very low IQ or mental and emotional problems. Only very few are truthful, think truly through their words and empathetic. Let’s continue to tackle such shady characters because, they are here to destroy.

It's just to show his inconsistencies and also to show that people are not just making stories up on him. I decided to bring some info out as he has been saying people are making up stories about him; but the posted threads says otherwise.

Palema007:
And on this thread, Toks was buried.






What a thread!

.

He doesn't know that some of us who are old timers know him very well on this NL; and baffle at his inconsistencies.

Below in this thread shows one of them, his quote "BECAUSE ADULTERY REMAINS ADULTERY WHICH EVER EXCUSE YOU GIVE TO COMMIT IT AND REMAINS A SIN."
https://www.nairaland.com/1280441/things-married-people-wont-tell/3#15598410

One minute he is saying adultery is a sin and in another minute, he is saying something else. NL nah to come catch cruise nah em sure pass.

baby124:

LMAO! I don’t know why he’s denying his status. The fact that his methods have caused a failed marriage and frustration for him. Those same methods are what he still preaches. He’s always lashing out at the women in his life on NL. Toks, change! Get therapy and move on!

Another of his inconsistencies in the thread below and I quote "I tell guys is that IF THEY MUST CHEAT let them respect their wives by doing it so so far from her and also use a protection cos any man who cheats on his wife to her face is a fool and he does not deserve that lady"
https://www.nairaland.com/4042701/caught-husband-red-handed/9#60289890

This is him here saying and I quote "i lived under the marital unbrella for 5years so i have at least a clue of what marriage is all about".
https://www.nairaland.com/2999855/8-avoidable-excuses-people-use/4#44568918

On this same thread again he now says and I quote "I am not married but if i am and my wife cheats on me and she is repentant i will forgive her for real."
https://www.nairaland.com/2999855/8-avoidable-excuses-people-use#43928401

You can clearly see his inconsistencies

Yet another of his inconsistencies on this thread and I quote "I keep saying this, i hate philandering with a passion but that will not stop me from stating the facts on ground".
https://www.nairaland.com/2586023/no-woman-snatch-man-these/4#37825836

It's good that people are seeing him for his inconsistencies and are calling him out as well as tackling him on the things he says.

Get time ke; for where . It took very little time to get the info. if you know your way around getting info it doesn't take long at all. That's why I'm called THEEDETECTIVE

Ishilove:

Nairalanders! Una get time sha

@Toks2008

You said you were married in these 2 threads below; so not sure why you think that people are making that up?

You said you were married here
https://www.nairaland.com/1284024/broken-dejected-found-out-wife/13#15658878

Another thread where you said you have been married before and mentioned about your ex
https://www.nairaland.com/2347524/10-women-christian-man-should/4#34275821

Una don start again with una fake story.

It's not rocket science to know that this is nothing but a fictitious story.

Anyway this family section don dry small so pushing out these fake and fictitious stories will bring traffic back.

@Op; thank you for this piece

This is the sort of educative piece I want to see on front page and not the frequent trash that is now becoming so common on front page

@Op;

This poster below, has provided very valuable ideas for you to ponder over especially the 1st point.

I'll repeat the 1st point again for you to know how important it is; here we go; Don't rely solely on your degree as the only avenue to generate income; be sure to learn additional skill(s) so that you can also have an income from your other skill(s) acquired.

Raalsalghul:


I would advise you

1. Start learning a skill now that you have time.

2. Making sure you graduate with a good grade

3. Researching the labour market.

4. Seek for scholarships abroad.

5. Practicing aptitude tests, interviews, and attending career seminars.

6. Having discussions with successful mentors, you can learn one or two things on how to navigate the uncertain world before you.

Your fears are normal, but you have to start taking actions that'll increase your chances of success.

OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE; NOT ANOTHER DOS AND DON'TS!!!

@Op; there are more important topics that you could have written about and not topics such as this piece you have just written that has been written about countless of times without anything meaningful nor reasonable coming out of it.

Why not take up @greenie77's suggestion as a challenge and let's see how you get on with a topic that will be of benefit.

To think that you are even clamouring for this piece of TRASH (no offense) to be on front page is mind boggling. ENOUGH SAID.

@Op; heavy salt intake is not what you joke with. Is it when you are diagnosed with high blood pressure due to your excessive salt intake before your eyes will clear?

Is it your fiancée that will be taking the medication that will be prescribed to you as a result of the high blood pressure diagnosis?

Let your fiancée know that it’s not only you that will have the high blood pressure; she will also have it as well since she also eats the salty food too. Reduce the salt in your meals ASAP to avoid stories that touch (I.e. to avoid being diagnosed with HBP).

Lastly, as you said she’s being defensive and most times end up fighting with you on issues such as the one you have narrated; you need to think very well if you can put up with this sort of character. There will always be something else that will create an issue where it needs addressing and if this character is what she currently shows when matters arise, THEN THINK VERY WELL BEFORE YOU SAY "I DO". Enough said.

@Op; let’s get something straight here; are you telling me that if you needed to buy medication for use and you were in this situation you have narrated with cash issues your wife will rather wait until you get the money yourself rather than for her to use her money to buy the medication for you? Will that be what she would do?

This narration I have just given is similar to food you mentioned and your wife will rather see you (her husband) go to bed hungry than to use her own money to feed herself, you and your baby?

Just to confirm did your wife have her ATM card for her account or was it only withdrawal that she has? If she had only withdrawal then maybe it was too late for her to go to the bank to do a withdrawal. But if she had an ATM card where she could have gone to the cash machine (hopefully there is one close by) to get cash for her to buy food for the family and she didn’t; that is a very bad attitude to display.

She rather decided that it is easier for everyone to starve than for her to make sure that everyone goes to bed with some food in their stomach; knowing that she has some money that she can use in her bank account?

This attitude tells me that when you are down financially, she has just displayed to you that she will not help you financially if she has the means to do so. She will rather see you suffer than to ease your burden.

You have the mind to open a business for her; you probably may introduce contribution from her part to the finances of the home. Although I know you said you cater for the home financially by yourself already; but with this kind of attitude your wife displayed, you have to see to it that this kind of attitude is put into a checkmate and nip in the bud before it gets out of hand.

@Op, you are not in a position to determine that you will have only 1 child. You know why; because your first pregnancy might be twins. What will you do if that happens? Can you now see why I said you’re not in a position to determine that you will have only one child? Bear in mind that you are a twin yourself and there is a chance that you might have twins yourself even with your first pregnancy.

That said, why did you not suggest to him that you will have a hysterectomy or tubal ligation procedure to confirm that the one child policy will then happen?

Why was it you who suggested that he should do a vasectomy? If he was in agreement with you from his heart to having only one child; the idea of vasectomy would have come directly from him without you even suggesting it to him.

Now let me turn the tables around and say if he was the one who said I only want one child and after you have the child, I want you to do a hysterectomy; would you have accepted his suggestion?

If this were to be your son and he comes to you to tell you that the woman he wants to marry is suggesting that he do a vasectomy; will you as his mother encourage him to go ahead because he wants to please the woman he wants to marry? (Don’t give me that "It's none of my business and you won’t want to interfere in your son’s life" as an answer as I will take that with a pinch of salt).

If this was your brother who came to you and told you that the woman he wants to marry has suggested vasectomy to him; what advice would you give your brother?

The world should not revolve around you alone when you are in a relationship and don’t put yourself in a position where people will see you as someone who wants to have her way irrespective of whose ox is gored.

Lastly, indeed your suggestion to him of having a vasectomy comes across as a very selfish one. At the very least, when you suggested vasectomy to him; you should have also suggested hysterectomy or tubal ligation procedure for yourself; then, the equation would have balanced nicely.

@Op; YES IT IS COMPULSORY

That said, you don’t need to wait until you are getting married before you know how to cook. Both male and female should KNOW HOW TO COOK. There are different avenues to learn how to cook and YOUTUBE comes to mind. Learning how to cook shouldn't be a huge task.

Iyaebe:
Please is it compulsory that a lady must know how to cook before marriage? What if her fiancee accepts her like that,should she still entertain any fears or she should go learn before the marriage.

@Op; as you have spoken to your wife several times about this issue and she is not willing to change; the next time she brings your food without enough protein/s, don't say anything to her; just get up and take your plate of food and go to the kitchen and add the extra protein/s to the food yourself and bring it back and continue eating your food. This is because you have told her several times as you said and she has refuse to change. To avoid any further issues, do it yourself and VIOLA; CASE CLOSED. By the time you do that a few times, she will change.

Barrister026:
My wife attitudes towards food she cooked with my money is getting on my nerves.

How can my wife be dishing food to me like she's serving it for our kids.times without number have complained but still no changes.

It's either she makes eba that won't satisfy us ( when they is enough garri available) her defense is that she don't want it to be wasted.

OR

She dished out soup for me with lesser meat like am a kid. Have told her several times when cooking..to buy enough protein in the soup or stew. But to my surprise she always economise the money and divert it into something else.

I even had to start buying suya in the evening when coming back from work, because I know what I be expecting when my food is dished out. ( Recent news we saw of how suya killed some families, made me limiit it)

Have ordered her on several occasions to take it back and put more protein, but must i always do that?


Please This is really getting out of hand, I really don't know how to handle this situation.


Lalasticlala

This is too funny; I beg no vex o; make I laugh small at the bold below; hahahahaha

Barrister026:


Disrespectful you say?

So she starving me of my own food is respectful?


The only reason I don't want to do that, is because I be ashamed if the issue escalated and neighbors gets to hear that we are quarreling because of quantity of meat and fish. It doesn't make sense at all.

@Op; why are you telling a fake, make-belief and fictitious story?

This same day that you claimed that you cooked in the kitchen which made your SIL not to be happy; were you not in hospital as you claimed in this thread below?
https://www.nairaland.com/6714630/phone-repairs-unlocking-screen-replacement/2#107451272

When I read your complaint it just didn’t sound real that your SIL will be upset because you made some food in the kitchen especially since you claim that you have been living with your brother and SIL for some time. It just didn’t add up and I didn’t see any reason why she should be angry being that you have been living with them for a while now as you said. That’s when I knew that you just opened this thread to create an unnecessary gender war and for people to abuse women who like to have control of the kitchen.

Use your time for better things than creating fake stories. ENOUGH SAID.

@Op; why not mind your own business now that you are married to another person? Why are you still this pained about your ex? You’ve made yourself look like you had no fault in the breakdown of the relationship between you and your ex. You have painted your ex as a terrible person forgetting that if we call your ex here now to tell us her side of the story, we’ll learn about all the terrible things you did to her as well. But now, because she is not here to defend herself, you are saying all this terrible things about your ex. You have also made yourself look like a saint without telling us your own fault and your contribution to the breakdown of the relationship between you and your ex.

I’m sure if your current wife knows that you are planning to attend a program organised by your ex; she’ll not be too pleased or happy about your attendance. I say it again; face your new family and leave your ex alone. ENOUGH SAID.

@Op; you have done the right thing for telling her to report the issue at the police station.

Since she really wants to go back home; with the involvement of the police, all that needs to happen will be for her employer to make the necessary arrangment and send her back home since she doesn't want to work with them any longer due to the maltreatment she is receiving from them.

You shouldn't be the one to call her brother as you can't be sure if that is really her brother. Let the police make the call to her brother as they can confirm if that is her brother or not.

samueltoski:
Good day all,
Sorry to disturb you all but i need your advice on something, i wouldn't want an act of kindness go wrong.
This morning my landlords house help knocked at my door, and when i came out i saw her crying and i asked what was the problem, and she said she needs help to go back to her village somewhere in benue state, when i asked why, she said her madam was maltreating her. And then i asked if she had any relation here she could talk to, to come carry her away, and she said no!! She said she called her brother who told her to get money anywhere and come back (That i perceived to be a lie). I really want to help out but would want to do it in the Right way, so i told her to report the matter to the police station on her way to school and if the advice her on what to do then i can help in that case. Please i need advice on the best way to handle this without getting any issues out of if. She should be around 13-15 year. Thanks