₦airaland Forum

@Op; you are the dirty and lazy one here. Just listen to yourself ; you come here to talk trash about your pregnant wife? ; the nerve you have ; to condemn her and call her dirty; SMH. You don’t realise that pregnancy to pregnancy even with the same woman differs? CLEANING OF THE HOUSE SHOULD NOT BE LEFT TO ONLY ONE PERSON AS YOU BOTH STAY IN THE PROPERTY; AND YOU BOTH MAKE IT DIRTY TOGETHER; hence, If you want your house cleaned, talk to her gently or better still do it yourself or join her in doing the clean-up. If there were no maids, would you not do your chores yourself? Just leave your wife alone and let her be; she also has a less than 3 year old she is looking after as well as this current pregnancy. HELP HER TO CLEAN ESPECIALLY IN HER PREGNANT CONDITION. One more thing you think that if you had married your first love as you claim she would have done better abi, well you can’t be 100% sure and you know why, you are not married to your first love and you don’t know if she would have been worst in keeping the house clean compared to your present wife. So STOP THE NANSENSE AND UNFAIR COMPARISON; ENOUGH SAID.

I would have said I have no sympathy for you and your fiancee but I would not say that. You did not ask about your genotype on the first day of your getting to know each other and your fiancee did not ask either; common; who does that in this 21st century? That said, are you waiting to hear from us that its ok for both of you to carry on? The genotype issue should have been the first question you should have asked before venturing into the relationship. If you would not have kids then you can go ahead but if you would be thinking of having kids then it’s not advisable as there is no guarantee that you might not have SS children. Maybe you need to go to the hospital to see for yourself the crisis that an SS child goes through then may be your eyes will clear because the love you think you have for her if at all you have an SS child going through crisis, will disappear. One can excuse the not knowing of the older generation having SS children. But in this generation, it will be called a wicked act as the situation could have been avoided by doing a simple genotype check. ENOUGH SAID.

What crap have I just read? What you have just written @op; does it make sense to you? Would you have given this same advice to the husband if he were to find out that his wife has another husband? You want a wife to sit down and fold her hands and take this nansense from her husband? Right; because of what exactly? . This is how humans come up with all sorts of silly ideology, all in the name of victimising their fellow human being by using different avenues such as this nonsensical article posted here. ABSOLUTE TRASH.

That you are married doesn't mean you must lose your sense of reasoning. As thorpido has mentioned neither do you lose your individuality when married. What your husband is doing to you is called financial slavery. One would think that your husband of all people would not deliberately keep you in financial bondage but that is exactly what he is currently doing to your disadvantage. As you have your own account, your next salary, deposit only 50% of it in the joint account and the other 50% should go into your own account. It's up to you to decide how, when and if at all you will let him know your plan with your next salary and other subsequent ones going forward. He has tied you down financially as he knows that your salary is capable of looking after you without him even giving you any money of his own. WHEN HE FINISHES YOU FINANCIAL YOUR EYES GO COME CLEAR WELL WELL. MAKE YOU DEY DO SIDDON LOOK NA EM BE MONKEY NAME; Whilst your husband is using you as MONKEY DEY WORK BABOON DEY CHOP. Just imagine; you can't even give your parents money without him grumbling and complaining that there is no money but he can give his own parents money and he will not grumble nor complain that there is no money and you sit down and fold yours and do nothing about it; SMH. Abi you think say na yam for your parents to sponsor your education in the UK to do your BSc and MSc? Abi you never calculate how much money your parents spent in giving you that quality education? And yet you want to abandon them by not at least giving them some financial help every now and then. When your husband has finished dealing with you financial, your eyes go come clear. ENOUGH SAID.

Did he not know she had a house before he married her? Did he not know that where they would live would become a subject for discussion after they married? This is how people cause issues for themselves in their marriages. What stops the husband from renting out his house and staying in the wife's house? For his mind now his EGO has closed his eyes to the opportunity that is clearly obvious i.e leaving in a much spacious accommodation.

Are you being truthful with your post?

Albinoflash:
thanks bro.i know i have a job,i have a family and i even have nairaland.but the problem is not what i have,but how fast am loosing everything i have and becomimg a shadow of myself.some people tells me am lucky i have my both parents,but i dont feel dat way,some odas say atleast i have a job,but i live like am jobless,i am the first of four boys and my life has negatively affected dat of my younger once, i droped out of skul 3years ago and still dnt knw how it hapened,my parents were redi to sell all they had just to see me through school,but i dont knw how it happened i got derailed.my immediate younger brother soon followed my footstep and dropped too,and the one after,my whole house became a mess,my parents now live on drugs just becos of us.my yunger broda is even as depressd as me,and some days ago i saw a bottle of inseticid he hid somewere

@Bold in red; really so how do you explain the below posts;

Albinoflash:
For the record,am from delta state,anioch north lga to be precise,i school in akwa ibom and we know all this moves are just 4 personal interest.for those giving themselves hope this has nothing to do with d presidential election,#backtodauraissamust

https://www.nairaland.com/4657982/udom-lambasts-senator-akpabio-pdp/1#69998195

Fromban:
Pls nairalanders am in serious financial troubles to sort my school fees i work and school but the exams are fast approaching and am not able to save enough for my fees.am seriously depressed and tired of everything.pls i need a heaven sent to save my life pls. Anything at all will be a blessing.Acc no : 2056669877,bank : uba..savings

https://www.nairaland.com/5096257/how-lucrative-football-viewing-center/5#76958427

Your other moniker fromban showing exactly the same bank number you have displayed here

Hope you are no longer gambling as you know that it can create unnecessary financial problems.

Albinoflash:
bros i started gambling 2014 i was a fan of merrybet and 1960 because of the way their site was designed.then i played online and don't stake above #100,infact i was seriously extorting those guys.fastforward to 2015 i increased my stake to #200 and #300 but i was still enjoying the game,in 2015 september i learnt about this killer game virtual i viad into it and initially i was winning but i still played with caution.my problem started dat december 2015 something of a shocker happened to me i couldn't believe it,i was so frustrated and feeling dissappointed (it's a family ish).this made me hate my home

https://www.nairaland.com/4605448/experience-playing-virtual-how-broke/4#69682648

I wondered myself on what the correlation was between being suicidal and account details; I just couldn't understand the connection. I am hoping that you really are not a scam as people have said here. If that is the case, you have just made it more difficult for people who genuinely need help to get it from here.

I struck a nerve right? which has made you continue with your abusive language. I won’t stoop so low to your level and join you in using gutter language and engage you in the banter of reigning abuses. You have nothing reasonable to contribute to this discussion than for you to be abusive. Carry go o; nah you get floor. I took a quick look at your profile and noticed that this is how you go about abusing other people on different threads all over the place without contributing anything meaningful to the topic discussed. Even the memes’ you use ain’t sensible either; that said, you still have nothing constructive to say on this delicate topic. Note that all the abusive memes' you have used so far, directly relates to you. I won't dignify you with any further comment as this will be my last reply to you and any further replies that you post that has any element of abuse in it is speaking directly to/at you. ENOUGH SAID.

EricBloodAxe:

You are still being abusive abi You still haven't learnt anything. Many people have lost their lives as a result of this delicate subject and you think it is right for you to be making fun of the subject as well as being abusive on top of it make you continue you hear, keep playing fun and games until this topic will reach frontpage and then the whole world would see your lack of sensitivity on a delicate topic such as this.

EricBloodAxe:

Again, not surprised for someone who is devoid of making a sensible comment to a very sensitive topic that have affected people across the globe. You'll rather resolve to insults right?; I won't throw tantrums like you are doing; carry on mate, keep making fun at the topic.

EricBloodAxe:

Not surprised to see your reply. Wasn't expecting anything less from someone who thinks that doing a shoe bargain for 440 women who lost thier lives due to domestic violence is something to make fun off.

EricBloodAxe:
[s][/s]
Very useless comment.

Listen mate, it ain't ever thing that one must make fun of. You no say nah 440 women shoe wey dey show for der nah domestic violence nah em kill dem. .You want people to go and bargain price for the shoes; you well so SMH. I no see anywhere in ur comment wey you condemn domestic violence.

EricBloodAxe:
Are our igbo brothers no more in Turkey to go and bargain price of all those shoes and send dem down to alaba

@ Op; thanks for bringing this topic on board. Pretty sad to know all these women died due to domestic violence. At all cost, domestic violence MUST BE condemned and not tolerated by any gender; be it male or female.

So rendering the help of washing your wife's underwear is now a problem abi. If she can wash your undearwear as her husband; what exactly is the big deal in washing your wife's undearwear? . Just looking to create problem where none exist. Humans get wahala sha; to watch underawear don turn to forbidden gesture; SMH.

@Op; e be like say sometin dey really worry you for you to tell the lady say make she leave the person wey she dey with and come your side. YOU WELL SO? If this were to be your lady and it comes to your attention that another guy is encouraging her to leave you and come to him WOULD YOU LIKE IT? Do onto others what you want done to you comes to mind. YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD ALREADY BY MOST PEOPLE HERE TO LEAVE THAT GIRL ALONE, FACE YOUR FRONT, MIND YOUR BUSINESS AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE. DON’T BE A HYPOCRITE; (NO OFFENSE) LET THAT LADY BE. A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE. ENOUGH SAID.

What a kind deed you and your wife are showing this little girl. May you and your family also find helpers in time of need. As others have mentioned, if you are going to live with this little girl, note these things below;

1) Get a lawyer for you to sign papers with her father so as to become her legal guardian;
2) Get the governmental authority involved (possibly the women affairs ministry, they are usually interested in negligible cases of children) so that if it ever goes to any court matter the authorities would already be aware of this situation; and
3) Get the contact of the girls biological mother so that she is aware of what is happening and what you intend to do on a legal basis as she may not be aware that her child is being neglected by her biological father.

Once you have gotten the above steps then you should be good to go and help this child as much as you can. Help her to achieve her desire to go to school if you are able to do so.

Thank you very much once again for your kind-heartedness.

Abi o, she think say nah novice and those wey no know wats up nah em she dey yarn her story to .

She cleverly left out what sort of sector she was working at in the UK to earn her as a 25 year old a £50K a year (abi £50k salary a year na yam) salary, nor how many years she worked as an employee of the company before she quit . Not to forget that before you earn that sort of salary in the UK you would most likely be a highly trained professional and have had a number of years work experience to be at that kind of salary. Amongst the number of those of the working population in the UK only a very small percentage of the work force are on £50K a year salary and yet she is 25 and wants us to believe her tale story. I laugh in Japanese swahilli.

She buys a house and fails to mention that nah mortgage nah em sure pass, the car wey she buy she never gist say nah loan back am up.

Some people no understand say story wey dem dey read for twitter, instagram, facebook etc. nah nothing but lies and fictitious fake stories nah em plenty pass wich dem dey take deceive the gullible ones

gypsey:
Yea right! £50000 Job, she probarbly had for 5 years, before quitting can Affford her a big ass mansion in Nigeria and in The UK, can afford her atleast a £300000 mortgage which she will end up paying for into her old age, atleast in her 60s which means she will have another 35 years to pay off her mortgage.

The car is probarbly also on finance, which means the car was bought on credit, she would be paying atleast £300 monthly to finance the car.

Why have you hired a 14 year old child to be a house help? (Very good that some others have called you out on that); Just incase you don't know, it is called CHILD ABUSE . IF THERE WERE NO MAIDS, WOULD YOU NOT DO YOUR CHORES YOURSELF? . That said, GO AND HIRE AN ADULT TO DO YOUR CHORES FOR YOU SINCE YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO DO THEM YOURSELF. As you are eagerly waiting to hear from NLanders to send her away, you have got the verdict so far; hence, you can do just that. One more thing, you have no right to put your hands on another persons’ child. If anything should happen to her whilst you are beating her, your eyes will clear.

This issue DOESN’T need opening a thread on NL; it’s a very simple issue to resolve; in fact as simple as ABC. When you are tired of your neighbour taking advantage of you, you will tell her NO; it’s enough and then mind your business and remain in your lane. Right now, carry on enjoying your baby sitting duties; but note that IF ANYTHING AND I REPEAT ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THOSE CHILDREN WHILST UNDER YOUR CARE, YOUR EYES WILL CLEAR AND YOU WILL THEN KNOW WHATS UP WHEN YOUR NEIGHBOUR FINISH DEALING WITH YOU. ENOUGH SAID.

Your husband has no self control nor respect for you either and you must have seen these signs of a CHEAT in him whilst dating; but you decided to go ahead and marry him, now look at how he is treating you like a door-mat; what a shame. Go and report the home-wrecker to her husband for this nansense that she is doing with your husband. I hope that you saved ALL the screenshots of the messages you found on your husbands phone and sent them to your phone for evidence, so that when you report her to her husband you have the evidence to back it up.

@Op; is there something wrong with you? A lot of people here have told you that what you did is not appropriate (Very good that a few have called you out on that) and yet you are still arguing . WHAT YOUR MUM DID IS THE RIGHT THING; so stop this STUBBORN ATTITUDE you are displaying here . Have you not been reading what has been going on in the news of recent? Or you think incest can't happen in reality? Get real; and LEAVE YOUR FATHERS' LAP FOR YOUR MOTHER and face your front, since you are now a grown woman. ENOUGH SAID.

If married, when you both work and expect her to get home and start doing all the chores by herself whilst you put your feet up on the sofa and click the TV with the remote control as well as reading your newspaper without offering any help;

If married, her husband chatting with other females in a romantic way (any romantic chatting with a female should strictly be with your wife);

If you treat her shabbily and scream at her all the time;

Child bearing and the stress that sometimes comes with pregnancy;

Lack of financial and emotional care;

If married, running your home like a military camp thereby creating a hostile environment as if she has no say in decisions that will affect both of you in the home front;

If married, not showing appreciation for the effort she puts into making the home run smoothly especially if there are children in the household;

If you have the tendency of always picking on her in regards to correcting her every move that you don’t like;

If she doesn't look after her mental, physical and emotional health;

If she doesn't have good genes from a medical point of view;

All these can age a woman faster than you can count 1 to 10

YES I DO; AS THE MATTER HAS GOTTEN TO A STAGE WHERE I EVEN NEED A MICROPHONE TO SHOUT EVEN LOUDER TO MAKE IT MORE AUDIBLE. FOR HIM TO HAVE BROUGHT THIS SIMPLE PROBLEM THAT HE COULD EASILY HAVE SORTED OUT HIMSELF WITHOUT BRINGING IT TO NL MEANS IT NEEDS SHOUTING TO BUTTRESS THE SOLUTION GIVEN HIM. ENOUGH SAID.

pek:
You don't need to shout.

I tell you; some people take everything they are told and read as truth rather than investigate and confirm if its true or not. NL MODS think everyone who visits the front page are novice and not professionals to debauch the fictions and fake made up stories they put on front page.

Ornament2003:
Ignorance is a disease!

Take your neighbour to a teaching hospital for proper evaluation.

Some women carry false pregnancies like hyatidiform mole for years, and yet there's no baby In their wombs!.

And with such mole as pregnancy, if they do pregnancy test, it will be positive; because the mole produces beta hCG seen in pregnancy!

The mole also grows like normal pregnancy. But it's a mere fluke. No pregnancy.

Such women need to be screened for cancer.

@OP; WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY ARE YOU FINDING IT SO DIFFICULT TO TELL YOUR WIFE’S SISTER THAT YOU WOULD NOT TOLERATE HER DRESSING INDECENTLY IN THE HOUSE? ; AS I TYPE THIS; CALL YOUR SISTER IN LAW AND GIVE HER A WARNING NOT TO DRESS INDECENTLY IN YOUR HOUSE AND TELL HER THE NEXT TIME SHE DOES THAT SHE WOULD LEAVE YOUR HOUSE. DO IT AND LETS SEE IF SHE WOULDN’T CHANGE HER SILLY ANTICS. ABEG COME BACK COME UPDATE US HOW FAR; BELIEVE ME TELL AM AND SHE GO KNOW WHAT’S UP.

It ain't trash mate. So you think that none of the doctors she visited would not have detected that this should be a cryptic pregnancy? Even if the other blood test or scan that she had done didn’t pick up pregnancy which is possible; there are other test you can perform to confirm that it is a cryptic pregnancy and you are telling me that none of the doctors could do that test on her to confirm as she has been going back and forth to doctors for 10 years? Yeah right!

Since a cryptic pregnancy is not sometimes detected through a blood or urine tests, or even an ultrasound scan, a Doppler which monitors heart rate along with a finger pulse to confirm the pregnancy can be carried out as a procedure; and yet you are telling me that it never crossed the mind of ANY of the doctors to perform this procedure/test? Common; let’s be real here; medical professionals are not trained just to bear the name DR as a title, they are trained to use their common sense in detecting problems and I don’t believe that it did not come to the mind of ANY AS WELL AS ALL the doctors she visited that this should have been detected as a cryptic pregnancy.

tayo60:
I pity those of you saying the story is false. If it has happened to you or any member of your family, you won't be spitting trash here. There are things that happen that medical science can't explain. If you don't know something or you haven't heard of it before, instead of displaying your ignorance by spitting trash, can't you google it for clarification? This kind of pregnancy is called cryptic pregnancy. It goes beyond normal pregnancy period, even years before it is delivered.

Another fake story AGAIN. If anyone believes this, then you will believe that a chicken gives birth to a chick rather than lay eggs.

NL MODS, THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS NOW AND I JUST WANT TO ASK IF U GUYS READ THE SORT OF STORIES YOU PUT ON FRONT PAGE BEFORE YOU POST THEM? When you were creating the thread name and posting this misleading story did it sound right to you guys? Make una stop des nansense wey una dey do, na beg I dey beg una as dis yeye stories wey una dey put for front page don dey tire person.

@bold; those words are what I call WORDS ON MARBLE; nice one .

LordKO:
Yes. In fact, the most successful women I know are those who are submissive to their husbands - sane husbands. Submissiveness is neither a success inhibition nor a disease. Behind any family you see where the couple has peace of mind mutually, there's a man who loves his wife and a wife who's submissive to her husband.

And every sane man knows that the last person to take for granted is a submissive woman, because when pushed to the wall she can mar the mightiest of men. Someone like Jeff Bezos is lucky he came out less-scattered after taken his ex-submissive wife for granted.

Meanwhile, the biggest misconception out there is an average Black woman's thought that sane White women aren't submissive to their husbands - they're.

Submissiveness doesn't mean a man having his way over his wife, even when he's wrong in his thought or action - selflessness, which is the soul of submissiveness doesn't mean absence of conscientiousness. A sane man knows the importance of being thoughtful and tactful towards his wife.

There seems to be so many threads talking about this one word ‘SUBMISSIVENESS ’so frequently on Nairaland; WHY? It’s simple; WIVES-BE SUBMISSIVE TO YOUR HUSBANDS AND HUSBANDS-LOVE YOUR WIFE. Why is it becoming so difficult for this to be applied? Huh!!!

Your question @op; yes it’s possible as long as she knows her career SHOULD IN NO WAY INTERFERE WITH HER ROLE AS A WIFE AND IF SHE HAS CHILDREN AS A MOTHER. Then there wouldn’t be the issue of whether her career would cause problems or not in her marriage.

It's silly keeping in touch with an EX after you marry. If they were that good you would have been married to them and they will not be an EX. STAY AWAY FROM YOUR EX(s). Infidelity with an EX all starts with Hi and before you know it you betray the person you are married to.

@Op; it is not every issue that happens in a marital home that should be brought to the public domain . Communicate with your wife and not with the public; also encourage her as she is really doing her best to contribute her portion to the family resources as well. I beg go hug your wife and end this quarrel jare.

SageMK:
Guy, you know what to do. She's your wife dammit!

If you need public opinion on how to tackle malice then you have no business getting married in the first place.

You are so right; some of the threads i see opened by people shouldn't even be opened let alone get to the front page. It has gotten to a stage where a person gets a cut on their finger and they open a thread to ask what colour of plaster should they put on it to stop the bleeding; huh!!!

@op; wich kin thing be this nah; and e come be say no be only one time you don beat your wife . In theory, you are saying that if a woman does not respect her husband then beating is allowed. Sometimes I wonder when some men say some women can be so annoying to warrant putting their hands on them and injuring them in the process. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS NOT THE WAY FORWARD AND SHOULDN'T BE ENCOURAGED NOR TOLERATED IN THIS MODERN DAY AND AGE SOCIETY WE LIVE IN. From your responses on this thread, it shows that you are still having the anger in you and I may be right as well as wrong that if the opportunity presents itself again to put your hands on your wife, YOU WILL DO IT AGAIN.

My questions to you @OP;

If your boss or work colleague in your office were to be annoying would you put your hands on them?
If you run your own business and your business partner or employee were to be annoying would you put your hands on them?
If you were conversing with your male friends and they subsequently become annoying would you put your hands on them?

If you would not do any of the above then I don't see any reason why you would put your hands on your wife; an adult for that matter that you claim to love. Rather than for you to leave the environment and wait for things to calm down, you will rather use your fist as the talking tool and forget that fighting doesn't do good to anyone and before a fight ensures, you should learn to remove yourself from the scenario and wait for the brouhaha to calm down.

How some men view beating their wives when she is disrespectful as no big deal is really mind boggling and one wonders if that is how they will also train their son to beat their wife as well if she is disrespectful? And if they will also tell their daughter that its ok for her husband to beat her up when she is disrespectful?

Has it ever occured to you that you can beat her in such a way that she can collapse and if care is not taken loss her life; then what? . Don't use your not working as an excuse to put your hands on another adult who subsequently is your wife; WHOM YOU CLAIM TO LOVE. Learn the art of self-control when the urge arises for you to beat her. I am not making any excuses for your wife as she has her own fault but beating her is not going to make her change as it'll only make her attitude worse. Communication is the key that you both need to do more frequently and I don't mean shouting at each other but rather set boundaries as to when to walk away when you see a fight beginning to take shape.

@op; smh as I read your comments: u well so? Just take a look at how you described your husband’s background and I quote “I'm married to a man from a poverty stricken background,” I ask again; u well so?

That aside, I can’t understand why you are gloating at being called wicked, self-centered and selfish? Nah this kin traits na em person go dey proud of? @Swinger60 rightfully asked you if this were your own blood sister would you behave in this manner to her? And this was your response; “If it was my blood sister ill house her and her kids.... But she is not my sister nor her kids..” It obviously shows that you are not being nice. CHANGE YOUR WAYS AS NO ONE KNOWS TOMORROW AND WHAT IT BRINGS ON ONES DOOR STEP. So be careful in this life and do your best to help a fellow human being in need. Stop this your grumbling and open your hands to assist from your heart as YOUR HUSBAND'S FAMILY MEMBERS ARE NOT GOING TO STAY WITH YOU FOREVER.

Nah this kin thing dey vex me when a wife can allow her family members into her home but when it comes to allowing their husband’s family members they begin to grumble like this op is doing. You better sort yourself out with your hubby and create peace in your home and do away with this nasty attitude you are displaying before you spread it to your kids and they subsequently inherit your terrible characteristic traits.

The rate at which fake stories are being pushed to front page these days is mind-boggling. The OP has time on their hands as well as unfinished data and how well can they utilize time and data than to create a fake nonsensical silly story which was by the way obvious to spot.

Are you waiting to hear from us that its ok for both of you to carry on? The genotype issue should be the first question you ask before venturing into a relationship. If you would not have kids then you can go ahead but if you would be thinking of having kids then it’s not advisable as there is no guarantee that you might not have SS child/ren. So think very well before you bring a child into the world to suffer as an SS child because of YOUR IGNORANCE. Both of you need to go to the hospital to observe the crisis an SS child goes through then your eyes will clear because the love you think you have for each other if at all you have an SS child going through crisis, will disappear. ENOUGH SAID