₦airaland Forum

@Op; was she not taking care of her own financial needs before she met you? She suddenly wants to turn you into an ATM cash machine overnight. A WOMAN WHO CANNOT TAKE CARE OF HER OWN FINANCIAL NEEDS WHEN SINGLE WILL DRAIN YOU FINANCIALLY WHEN MARRIED TO HER. She doesn’t seem to be interested in managing with what she has (she is not hiding the fact that she wants to live the high life at the expense of someone else pocket which happens to be YOU) as the mentality of catching up with the Jonses’ seems to be prevalent with her. A woman who cannot recognise the potential in a man is not worth being with. You have your aspirations ahead of you and she isn’t even interested in them as per your write-up. Is that the sort of person you want for a wife? THINK MATE.

@Op; this is a joke right; you well so ; you are better off droping this your entitlement mentality. You even have the effontry to open this silly thread and complain say your brother wife give you only one meat when she give you food . She even give you food sef and you no dey happy say she give you food chop. Nah you give am money to buy the food to cook. As a few others have said, go and get married and then you can tell your wife to serve you 59 meat since 1 is not enough so that you can have 60 meat in total to stroke your ego; nansense . One more thing, leave your brothers wife alone and face your front and stop creating problems in your brothers' house.

@Op; another angst about this same BF again . You obviously don’t have any self-esteem/respect for yourself; hence, you keep taking trash from this so called BF of yours. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED ALREADY by a few about the ways and silly antics of this BF of yours. Don’t come back here crying foul if you eventually end up marrying this obviously mums boy and he carries on with his trashy treatment against you. ENOUGH SAID.

@Op; if your wife has a job or business she runs, she won't have time for gossip. As a few have mentioned here already, go and get her either a job or a business that she will be interested in and happy to run. Note, not the business you impose on her to run but the one that she comes up with by herself so that her interest in the business will continue. It appears the fashion school you put her in, might not have been her interest (I may be wrong) as that is how it seems and that might have been one of the reason why it didn't work out for her.

When she is busy doing other things that earns her money, she won't have time for gossiping nor becoming the chairlady of gossipers in the neighbourhood which have upset you; hence. your opening this thread for advice.

Shouting at her will not change matters. If she is strong-headed, na you go tire for the shout as she go make you shout. Besides she is a grown adult hence shouting at her to me is disrespectful and that perhaps may create low self-esteem in her which I am sure you wouldn't want that to happen.

charles009:
Hello folks, I have to put this here, cos I feel I have had enough. Please nobody should quote me cos I intend taking this post down afterwards.

I have issues dealing with a very weak wife(27), mostly where her friends and neighbours are. Since I married her 4 years ago I have allowed her handle things her way and its always from one issue to another. Always disturbing me with irrelevant gossips that wouldn't put food on my table. I paid heavily for a fashion designer school, still same issue of madam versus students bullshit. In feb I asked her to stop, so I can have peace, thanks to covid 19. When I decided I have had enough, I told her I wouldn't want to see anybody in my house going forward, since they have turned my house to a gossip zone whenever I am away at work. Once, she hears peoples voice, she opens my door and starts hailing people who its obvious are unhappy with my decision, they even teamed against her. I see her actions as plain weakness.

I have tried dialogue, yet no improvement. So I decided to go very hard on her. I told her that anytime I see her with those click of friends, I would not hesitate to embarrass her outside. This morning, she had gone to get mop then begins the regular gist, I had to immediately shout her to go inside.

Its obvious that my mode of life contradicts her way of life, I have decided to bend a little bit to accomodate her. Once I drive out, kapish my house becomes a meeting ground, all sorts of gossips in the estate are disclosed.

Am I going too hard on her or is there any better way to handle this.

Please DONT QUOTE ME..

I think so too. He obviously didn't learn anything from that thread upon all the advice that was given him there.

On the social media aspect, its really quite alarming the amount of people who post their lives on social media; and if they don't get the validation they seek from social media, their lives are never the same; its really that bad and sad.

CsRockefeller:
Thanks. I feel it's d same person.

I was about to type exactly the same thing you just typed; but you got there before me

I remember that thread last year and I actually think this @op is one and the same person in that thread as the story is so similar.

The @op just did a bit of alteration to this one posted so that it would not look exactly the same like the story in the thread link below.

https://www.nairaland.com/5109581/wife-doesnt-post-pictures-social

CsRockefeller:
Who remembers this exact story/issue on this section last year?

Take away social media and many would run mad.

It is not that hard to tell when a story looks, sounds and smells FAKE. Of recent, NL has become the place to post FAKE STORIES and these fake stories are now increasing at a high rate.

Some SPECIFIC SENTENCES included in this @OP story points to it as being an OBVIOUSLY FAKE STORY

Don’t make an assumption that everyone who comments on NL either as a first to comment or subsequently is/are jobless.

bell1255:
I don't understand how someone will post a personal issue here and someone will start insinuating it was made up. Funny enough, they are always d first to comment. U people think everyone is as jobless as u? Same thing happened d last time I posted a personal story.

@Op, just listen to your self . Does this story you just narrated sounds sensible and real to you? What is happening with nairaland and all these nanasense and ridiculous fictitious stories that has now become the in-thing on NL
I don't get.

PS: YOUR LAST PARAGRAPH IN THIS NOLLYWOOD SCRIPT IS HYPOCRITICAL AND ABSOLUTE TRASH. THE HUSBAND IS FREE TO CHEAT BUT THE WIFE IS MEANT TO REMAIN FAITHFUL; I WONDER WHO GAVE YOU THAT SILLY NANSENSICAL IDEA. A HUSBAND AND WIFE SHOULD KEEP THEIR VOWS AND REMAIN FAITHFUL TO EACH OTHER TO AVOID STORIES THAT TOUCH; EOD.

Yeah right; shy wife indeed . NOT ANOTHER FAKE NONSENSE STORY AGAIN AS IT IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE TO KNOW THAT YOU JUST WANTED TO TEST YOUR WRITING SKILLS WHICH ARE PRETTY IMPRESSIVE BY THE WAY. Note dude, this is 2020; hence, get busy in spending your time doing more valuable things than coming up with fictitious, ridiculous, frivolous, nansensical, absurd and silly fake stories. ENOUGH SAID.

@Op, so you are now tired of being in control right? You yourself don talk am from beginning say na so the man be but you come marry am like that. After you don tire to take control you come they say your husband no fit make decision abi. Hold your peace mate as that was how you met him before you married him hence, stop the nagging as nobody forced you to marry him.

Let your experience be a lesson to others out there who are yet to marry that YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANYBODY AFTER MARRIAGE AND ANY TRAITS YOU DON’T LIKE BEFORE MARRIAGE WILL NOT SUDDENLY DISAPPEAR AFTER MARRIAGE; IN SOME INSTANCES, THE ANNOYING TRAIT WILL ONLY GET WORSE which is what is now glaring and manifested in your case as shown from your experience.

The other day it was a woman who opened a thread to say her BIL put his hand in her pot of soup and she doesn’t like it and mind you that was something her BIL was doing before marriage and SHE NEVER COMPLAINED BUT NOW THAT SHE IS MARRIED, SHE STARTED COMPLAINING.

My point being a trait you know you can’t tolerate before marriage, trash it out as it will not suddenly change when you are married. So carry on BEING THE DECISION MAKER in your home as that is how YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED IT OTHERWISE YOU WILL HAVE ADDRESSED THIS MAJOR FAULT YOU ARE NOW WHINNING ABOUT BEFORE YOU MARRIED YOUR HUSBAND OR PROBABLY NOT HAVE MARRIED HIM AT ALL. ENOUGH SAID

@Op; DOES THIS STORY YOU JUST NARRATED MAKE ANY SENSE OR RING TRUE TO YOU? This is 2020, hence, get busy in spending your time doing more valuable things than coming up with fictitious, ridiculous, frivolous, nansensical, irritating, absurd and silly fake stories. ENOUGH SAID.

@Op you well so? There must be something seriously wrong with you mate for you to even entertain the idea of putting your hands on your fiancée/soon to be wife. You are already dreaming about the idea that YOU MIGHT HIT HER RIGHT? Carry on nurturing that silly idea in you head you hear; at least you heard the real deal from your fiancée on how she’ll react and deal with the situation. You better take a look at your relationship again and if you are already entertaining the idea of putting your hands on her even before you are married to her, it's better you look long and hard if you are still compatible before something terrible happens if you eventually put your hands on her. ONE MORE THING DUDE, GO FIGURE HOW TO CO-EXIST WITH A WIFE WITHOUT YOU NURTURING/ENTERTAINING THE IDEA OF HITTING HER. ENOUGH SAID

So you needed to open a thread to ask NLanders if your wife should buy a car before you now agree for her to get the car; right? You really needed NLanders to tell you that first? Okay, let me add my own voice to the debate and say what most people are saying; LET HER BUY THE CAR; AS IT IS FOR THE COMFORT OF YOUR WIFE AND YOUR CHILD. Or do you want your wife to age before her time due to the stress she is coping with?

Don't be a selfish man by looking out for only your interest and neglecting that of your wife in the form of you wanting to have a car for your comfort but leave your wife and kid to run around with public transport. Not that using public transport is wrong in itself but if having a car can make life a bit easy for your wife then please let her get the car or better still, BUY IT FOR HER.

If both of you can afford 2 cars then go for it. If it's only one you can afford, then let your wife have the car as your child will benefit as well.

@Op, just listen to your self . Does this story you just narrated sounds sensible and real to you? What is happening with nairaland and all these nanasense and ridiculous fictitious stories that has now become the in-thing on NL I don't get it?

You’ve only just gained admission in 2018 for you to study in the university and you want to tell me that you could not find any lady to date in your university? Instead, your eyes have suddenly wondered on to a JSS3 student? That said, you want to deprive the girl of her knowing what she wants in life right? Would you advice your own sister or perhaps your daughter to marry when she is in JSS3 or even entertain the thought of dating in JSS3? That is the age you help young ones to start carving out what they intend to do in life as they prepare to enter SS1. LEAVE THAT GIRL ALONE AND DON’T USE YOUR SWEET WORDS TO CONFUSE HER WHICH CAN SUBSEQUENTLY INTERFERE WITH HER CONCENTRATING ON HER STUDIES.

Absolute trash . Stop deceiving people with this crappy nansensical article you've just written . I didn’t see anywhere in this silly article you wrote that gave the option of leaving to the spouse who was cheated on. Neither did I see anywhere you condemned the cheater for causing so much pain to their innocent spouse nor did you mention that their silly antic can even infect the innocent spouse with an STD. This is a new decade mate, hence, write articles that encourage marital faithfulness in a marriage arrangement and not one that gives the A-Z on how to handle a cheat.

Yeah right, pfft; keep deceiving yourself; you must think you dealing with a novice. I will say it again mate, this is a new decade; get busy in using your time to do better things rather than making up make-believe, frivolous and ridiculous stories. ENOUGH SAID

shakmati:
Bloggers copied that story from me, you fake detective. Check posting times and you'll see I ever posted that story first!

The marital issue he opened a thread for previously turned out to be fake i.e he copied the story from a blog as mentioned in my last post.

Acting as if you are single when you have marital problems doesn't make any sense.

No one in their right senses will do what he intends to do in this current thread he has just opened by creating a dilemma that will affect his family in a terrible and negative way due to his selfish/greedy interest by longing for what does not belong to him; which is what made me conclude that the thread is one of Tales by moonlight and the acting of a troll at its best.

MurderX:
I dont think he is fake, his profile seems consistent with that of a man that is unhappy in his marriage one of such pattern is that they often advertise themselves as single. He needs counseling and advice. If you look carefully, you will observe some consistencies in his posts.

Another fake and made up story. Infact Tales by moonlight and a troll at its best

Take a look at the 2 two threads below.

https://www.nairaland.com/4866539/should-divorce-wife
(Check page 12 of the thread above to tell you that the story he opened this thread for was a bloggers story that he copied without even given credit for it as he was exposed in that page 12)

https://www.nairaland.com/4563915/need-female-friend-kaduna-no

It wasn't that difficult to tell it's a fake story.

This is a new decade mate, keep busy doing better things as against being a troll. ENOUGH SAID

Tales by moonlight. You must really think that some of us can't smell a fake story when it comes up right ? You've been married for 20 years and suddenly your wife's ex is now a problem in your marriage ; yeah right. I wonder what the next story line will be .

Oh for goodness sake; dude; LEAVE YOUR WIFE ALONE IF SHE DOESN’T WANT TO BE ON LOW CUT. There are more challenges that a marriage faces and this certainly ain’t one of them mate. You said you only see your wife twice a year; THAT IS WHAT WE CALL A CHALLENGE AND YOU SHOULD CHANNEL YOUR ENERGY IN SORTING THAT OUT rather than on petty/frivolous things. To rob it in your wife's face, you even went as far as mentioning that your work colleague rocks low cut; so what? . Then you are going on and on about sacrifices that you have made for your wife forgetting that your wife has also made sacrifices for you too. Or would you say she has not made sacrifices in her own way for you? That said , if you knew you wanted a woman to be on low cut then you should have married one that has low cut from the beginning. Not all women feel comfortable with low cut neither is it all women that low cut looks good on. You have to know that in some cases, a woman’s hairdo boast her self-esteem. If you are incessant on her rocking low cut against her wish, you might see her self-esteem go low and I am sure you wouldn’t want that. Imagine if you had always had a moustache which is your identity signal and all of a sudden your wife tells you she likes men who are clean shaved and you should get rid of the moustache; how would you feel? Don’t come and tell me that you would get rid of it in a jiffy as I would take that answer with a pinch of salt. I hope you see where I am going; hence let this be and stop making a mountain out of a molehill. ENOUGH SAID

@Op, there must be something seriously wrong with you to be responding rudely to those who have condemned your silly antics of sending your picture to a male friend just because they asked you to do so. You are now a married woman; respect yourself and your husband and desist from nansense. If your husband was the one who sent his picture to his female friend you will not like it. Don't give what you know you can't take. Nah so nonsense dey take start; be wise next time before you use your hand to destroy your marital home. Go and apologise to your husband again and stay away from things that would bring problems into your home. ENOUGH SAID.

You have allowed your husband to get away with a lot of NANSENSE. You say you trust him right? Pfffttt. A man behaves like this when he has no respect for his wife. Otherwise he won’t have the liver to be carrying on with this rubbish over-familiarity that he is doing with those girls in public glare. He really is disrespecting your martial vows. As you have been told by others here, you better address this issue NOW before both girls would become pregnant for your hubby, then you would realised that you should have addressed the issue much quicker.

You can as well tell him that if this were you carrying on with 2 men like this WOULD HE LIKE IT? THE SAYING DO ON TO OTHERS WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE DONE TO YOU COMES TO MIND. I really don’t’ get it; when a spouse brings a particular attitude that they are not happy with to the open; WHY DO SOME MEN/WOMEN FIND IT SO DIFFICULT TO DROP OR ADJUST THAT ATTITUDE SO THAT IT WOULD NOT CONTINUE TO HURT THE OFFENDED SPOUSE? HUH!!! Talk this issue out now before people make you a laughing stock and your hubby will also not be spared either as he will be laughed at and seen as someone who is easily manipulated by 2 young ladies.

What sort of silly nansensical question is this? So if this were your brother and his wife or your sister and her husband that came all the way from Kenya to attend your wedding you would have told them to send you the money instead abi? Rather than them attending your wedding right? That said, no appreciation for the 50K you even received. How many times have you attended another person's wedding and given them 50K? You are very ungrateful which is a very bad attitude to have towards those who have taken the time and made an effort to attend your wedding. Just leave that couple alone and appreciate that they were at your wedding. You even have the nerve to say they should have sent you 500K instead of using that money to buy the ticket to fly down for your wedding; as if you are the one that put the money in their account in the first place. Lastly, learn to MYOB as it is NOT IN YOUR PLACE NEITHER IS IT YOUR BUSINESS TO DICTATE HOW THE COUPLE IN QUESTION OR ANY OTHER PERSON WHO ATTENDED YOUR WEDDING DECIDE HOW OR WHAT THEY SHOULD BE SPENDING THEIR MONEY ON.

Just look at the question someone is asking in 2019? as in this day and age ?. Let me now ask you @Op, before you got married, who was washing your cloths for you? You want to add more stress on your wife abi. I am not saying that she should never wash your cloths; but dont make it Iook like it's her responsibility because you want it to be or because you say so. Better still mate, go and get a washing machine to relieve your wife from the stress of washing your cloths manually before you use house chores such as this to age her overnight.